warning labels

Ask me! I'll answer honestly

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
9: Are you ticklish?
10: Are you allergic to anything?
11: What’s your sexuality?
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
16: How tall are you?
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
21: Are you religious?
22: Pet peeves?
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
24: Favorite constellation?
25: Favorite star?
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
27: Any phobias or fears?
28: Do you think global warming is real?
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
30: Favorite movie?
31: Do you get scared easily?
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
34: What is a color that calms you?
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
36: Where were you born?
37: What is your eye color?
38: Introvert or extrovert?
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
40: Hugs or kisses?
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
43: Any piercings you want?
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
47: What is a sound you really hate?
48: A sound you really love?
49: Can you do a backflip?
50: Can you do the splits?
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
52: Favorite movie?
53: How are you feeling right now?
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
55: When did you feel happiest?
56: Something that calms you down?
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
58: What does your URL mean?
59: What three words describe you the most?
60: Do you believe in evolution?
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
62: What makes you follow a blog?
63: Favorite kind of person:
64: Favorite animal(s):
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
66: Favorite emoticon:
67: Favorite meme:
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
69: What is your star sign?
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
72: Post a selfie or two?
73: Do you have platform shoes?
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
75: Can you do a front flip?
76: Do you like birds?
77: Do you like to swim?
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
81: Piercings you have?
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
83: Favorite person to talk to:
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
85: How many followers do you have?
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
87: Do your socks always match?
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
89: What are your birthstones?
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
92: A store you hate?
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
95: Do you like to wear camo?
96: Winter or summer?
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
98: Least favorite person?
99: Someone you look up to:
100: A store you love?
101: Favorite type of shoes
102: Where do you live?
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
105: Do you drink milk?
106: Do you like bugs?
107: Do you like spiders?
108: Something you get paranoid about?
109: Can you draw:
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
111: A question you hate being asked?
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
116: Favorite cloud type:
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
118: Do you have freckles?
119: Favorite thing about a person:
120: Fruits or vegetables?
121: Something you want to do right now:
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
123: Sweet or sour foods?
124: Bright or dim lights?
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
128: What do you think about the least?
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
133: Computer or TV?
134: Do you like roller coasters?
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
137: Do you believe in karma?
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
144: What makes you angry
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
147: Are you androgynous?
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
156: What embarrasses you?
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
159: How many people are you following?
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
163: Last time you cried and why:
164: Do you have long or short hair?
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

4

Alright everyone, if you love Jim & Pam, sexy angst, angsty sex and just really good writing, clear your evening and get over to AO3 immediately because Warning Labels has just been posted there in it’s entirety!

Originally written and posted on LiveJournal back in 2006-2009, Warning Labels is a 12-part collaboration of four of the best writers the fandom has seen. It follows the plot of Season 2 with one big exception: Jim and Pam are secretly sleeping together. For some extra fun, rewatch S2 as you read to give the show a whole new dimension. Don’t forget to leave all the kudos!

Warning Labels on AO3

So um, went to a witchcraft shop, they put free stuff in our bags cause they’re chill like that, some of it was Incense, I’m bored so I’m just reading all the stuff on the incense packaging

In bold letters it randomly says “Do not eat Incense.” Like, usually doesn’t stuff say “Do not consume” or “keep away from mouth’ or whatever I mean like, I feel like something happened and they had to be very very straight forward with this.

Can you guess how long cigarette cartons have had to carry warning labels? In the United States, since 1965. It has been over fifty years! And the fight is still going to keep people from literally killing themselves.

The latest idea? Australia was the first to mandate that cigarette packages can have nothing on them at all – except health warnings. No name-brands, no advertisements, just the fact that cigarettes will kill you.

malec-go-to-hogwarts  asked:

hi cassie :) i've been a fan of the books since 2010 and it's been amazing to see how much they've grown in terms of popularity and audience. I would love to know whether you came up with the idea to write the eldest curses because of how popular Magnus became and the reaction to him or was the idea in your head from the beginning and you decided to finally write it :) also could i be cheeky and ask for a snippet from the lost book of the white preferably featuring Alec....

I was excited to write the story of Magnus and Alec Having An Adventure and Falling More In Love for a very long time, but my ability to do so was limited by the way publishing and distribution worked back in 2005, when I was initially trying to sell City of Bones. There was a lot more resistance to gay characters in YA at that time. A couple of publishers turned the book down because Alec, a gay character, was in it. The Barnes & Noble website page for City of Bones included a review from Commonsense Media where they gave it a content warning for “sexual content” just because of the presence of a gay character even though he never did anything sexual. A lot of big box stores refused to carry the book, and major children’s book clubs passed it over. 


I always hoped for systems to change. As the books grew more popular, and as times changed, I was able to include more of Magnus and Alec as the series went on. In fact, their presence in the story and on the page made a big jump starting in CoFA, at which point I received a surge of criticism from those who were upset that I was writing about Magnus and Alec more prominently. I remember having my books pulled from libraries; foreign translators cut scenes with Magnus and Alec in them; once I was standing in the middle of the street about to get into a car to take me to a school where I was going to do a talk about my books when my publicist came up and said we were no longer invited: the school had read about Magnus and Alec and they didn’t want me there. Or often, if I was at a school, I’d be asked not to talk about Magnus and Alec while speaking to the students.


I tried to walk a careful line, including Magnus and Alec (and later, Aline and Helen) as significant and meaningful characters, but still managing to keep schools, libraries, and reading groups from throwing the books out or locking them up where the kids who most needed to read them wouldn’t be able to access them at all.


I held onto the hope that attitudes would continue to shift, to allow for more freedom to write characters who accurately represent the population of the world we live in (and represent my own friends and family, on whom Alec and Helen specifically are based). Hope that I’d be able to expand roles for characters like Magnus and Alec, and over the past twelve years — partly as I’ve carved out my career in a way where I can take the sales hits that sometimes result from major LGBT+ inclusion, and partly because of so many brave writers, readers, editors and publishers who’ve pushed for change — I’ve been able to do so more and more. 


When I was writing CoFA, I purposefully left a gap where Magnus and Alec go on vacation, with the idea that someday I could go back and fill in that gap with a story focused on them. For a long time that wasn’t something that companies wanted to buy and publish. I could have self-published the series, but I wanted the books on the shelves in stores, on the “bestsellers” rack with every other book I’ve written, making a statement about how much people want this kind of book and these kind of characters. I chose to write the story now when I did because Simon and Schuster, my publisher, opened Saga Press, an imprint dedicated to expanding what you can do in YA and cross-publishing with adult fantasy/sci fi. It’s Saga that will be publishing The Eldest Curses.

I thought a lot about what to say here because of two things: one, that people don’t like to hear about pushback against writing non-straight characters — it’s depressing (it is), it seems distant, unreal, how can these old systems and thought processes still exist? We’ve had successful books with gay characters in them! We’re done, right? I guess all I can say is that I think there’s a value to illuminating the pushback because it underlines how important it is to keep supporting books with LGBT+ characters because we are not there yet; we’re not where those books are give the same budgets and marketing and push as books with straight casts, and it takes the support of readers and reviewers and bookstore and library buyers to get us there.

I’d also say that I know I’ll get criticism for saying I was careful in my portrayal of Magnus and Alec until I felt like I’d gotten to a place where even if the fact that they were in love, lived together, even had sex was shown or even just implied (as it is in CoFA) it wouldn’t mean the books were locked up in libraries and slapped with warning labels. I guess I can only say it’s hard to navigate a situation where you fear the very kids who need to read about Magnus and Alec won’t be able to. When you meet kids who say “This book saved my life” so many times, and you think “But what if you couldn’t get to it? What if your school wouldn’t carry it, or your library, or your Walmart, which in small towns is sometimes literally the only source of books?) I accept that criticism. We all face hard choices in life and we make complicated decisions we think are for the best, and being criticized for those decisions is part of living and learning.

I guess the only other thing I’d say is whatever shitty things were said to me over the years about Magnus and Alec, they pale in comparison to the shitty things said to writers like Malinda Lo and Scott Tracey who were writing their own lives and experiences in the form of LGB characters on the page — and as Malinda says, their pain at confronting homophobia/biphobia will always be more visceral and personal than mine.

If you go out and buy The Lost Book of the White of course I’ll be thrilled, and a lot of that will be because it’s a way to show publishers that this kind of media and these protagonists are wanted and desired by readers. But I’d be just as thrilled if you picked up any fantasy by an LGB+ writer with LBG+ characters in it. There’s a ton of wonderful stuff and I hope you’ll explore it.

Ask me! I'll answer honestly!

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
9: Are you ticklish?
10: Are you allergic to anything?
11: What’s your sexuality?
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
16: How tall are you?
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
21: Are you religious?
22: Pet peeves?
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
24: Favorite constellation?
25: Favorite star?
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
27: Any phobias or fears?
28: Do you think global warming is real?
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
30: Favorite movie?
31: Do you get scared easily?
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
34: What is a color that calms you?
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
36: Where were you born?
37: What is your eye color?
38: Introvert or extrovert?
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
40: Hugs or kisses?
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
43: Any piercings you want?
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
47: What is a sound you really hate?
48: A sound you really love?
49: Can you do a backflip?
50: Can you do the splits?
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
52: Favorite movie?
53: How are you feeling right now?
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
55: When did you feel happiest?
56: Something that calms you down?
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
58: What does your URL mean?
59: What three words describe you the most?
60: Do you believe in evolution?
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
62: What makes you follow a blog?
63: Favorite kind of person:
64: Favorite animal(s):
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
66: Favorite emoticon:
67: Favorite meme:
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
69: What is your star sign?
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
72: Post a selfie or two?
73: Do you have platform shoes?
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
75: Can you do a front flip?
76: Do you like birds?
77: Do you like to swim?
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
81: Piercings you have?
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
83: Favorite person to talk to:
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
85: How many followers do you have?
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
87: Do your socks always match?
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
89: What are your birthstones?
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
92: A store you hate?
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
95: Do you like to wear camo?
96: Winter or summer?
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
98: Least favorite person?
99: Someone you look up to:
100: A store you love?
101: Favorite type of shoes
102: Where do you live?
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
105: Do you drink milk?
106: Do you like bugs?
107: Do you like spiders?
108: Something you get paranoid about?
109: Can you draw:
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
111: A question you hate being asked?
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
116: Favorite cloud type:
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
118: Do you have freckles?
119: Favorite thing about a person:
120: Fruits or vegetables?
121: Something you want to do right now:
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
123: Sweet or sour foods?
124: Bright or dim lights?
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
128: What do you think about the least?
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
133: Computer or TV?
134: Do you like roller coasters?
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
137: Do you believe in karma?
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
144: What makes you angry
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
147: Are you androgynous?
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
156: What embarrasses you?
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
159: How many people are you following?
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
163: Last time you cried and why:
164: Do you have long or short hair?
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

college advice™
  • make friends in every class u have. i don’t care if it’s awkward nd uncomfortable at first bc at the end of the semester and ur ass doesn’t know how 2 do any of the questions on the final review i promise becky that sits a row behind u will
  • don’t drink too much coffee bc it stains ur teeth. try mountain dew or other energy drinks 4 late night study binges. BE CAREFUL when using monster, red bull, 5 hour energy, etc. bc these are the worst for ur heart so make sure to Read The Labels And Warnings before overdosing the night before ur chem exam
  • stock up on ramen nd mac nd cheese. they’re cheap nd are ready to go in like 3 minutes. when u haven’t eatin in 14 hours during midterms and u think u might actually Die ur friend 3 minute mac will be there for u when no one else will
  • cut off people who suck. i mean academically socially and romantically. if they don’t give a shit about their grades u don’t need to give a shit about them yall im serious
  • c’s get degrees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • for the love of god please check ur student email
  • eat a vegetable every once in a while. ur decaying body will thank u
  • keep in contact with ur friends who don’t go to ur school. It’ll be nice 2 talk 2 someone who doesn’t know about the scandal in the biology department at the end of the week
  • get to ur first class of every semester at least 30 minutes early. i’m not fucking around either bc if u want a good seat and decent parking u better set ur alarm
  • if ur professor’s a dick or throws something at u file a complaint. u could get him fired. don’t let them tell u “this is college” bc that’s not college it’s fucking harassment lmao
  • sit where there’s an outlet or where u can see and hear the professor
  • actually go to class and Especially go to long lectures. they’re snooze fests but You Will Fail if u miss out on too much
  • wear headphones everywhere u go on campus. no one will talk to u it’s gr8
  • no one cares what u wear. i’ve seen people in formal business suits to scrubs to pajamas in class. wear what ur comfortable with nd won’t get arrested 4 wearing. the rest of the population is just as dead inside as u
  • check ur online courses The Most. Ur professor isn’t obligated to tell u when shit’s due and they more than likely won’t
  • drop the class if u can’t make above a 70% average. trust me
  • don’t buy textbooks until the second week of class bc if u buy all ur textbooks before actually seeing what the professor wants u to get u will waste $1000 and cry urself to sleep when the bookstore won’t take ur returns
  • if u work save at least $25-50 of ur weekly paycheck for an emergency fund. ur future self will thank u
  • don’t buy from the campus bookstore. they’re blood-sucking vampires who feed off freshman. amazon does textbook rentals for Very Cheap so don’t waste money that could be used on food
  • know where the library nd computer labs are nd what services they offer (like free printing, test proctoring, etc)
  • get a study group nd make a gc. they will emotionally and academically support u. get to know these ppl nd meet them at 3 pm at mcdonalds on a sunday to take ur online exams. they will be strange but u will all pass
  • get to know ppl inside ur major. just trust me on this
  • do ur readings and turn things in on time. u will sleep better at night  
  • don’t take more hours than u can handle. u will become a shell of the person u were before the semester started
  • sell ur fancy ass graphing calculator u used for one class on ebay
  • drink water nd take care of urself
  • call ur mom every few days. she will love to hear from u
  • don’t die. just switch majors
Mister Hockey and the boy crying in the kitchen

(complete version)

Alternate Universe where Bitty is a figure skater at Samwell. He and Jack meet for the first time at #Epikegster 2014.

warning labels: Alcohol, mentioned homophobia, Parse. 


 Jack went down the stairs with a huff of annoyance. The first floor of the Haus was packed from wall to wall. Loup thumping music, laughter and yells that were barely tolerable from his room now seemed almost tangible, crushing him from all sides. He could already feel the beginnings of a headache.

 He pushed his way through and managed to reach the kitchen unscated. Only three guys were sitting at the table, loudly debating Plato’s cavern versus the Matrix, and another was leaning on the counter near the stove, muttering to himself.

Jack opened a cupboard, swore under his breath when he saw that it was empty of their usual mugs, glasses and bottles. He took a new red solo cup from the enormous pack available to all, and filled it with tap water, trying to ignore the guys at the table.

 ‘…aren’t you the most precious thing, baby…’

 Jack turned around. The guy next to the oven was muttering endearments with a southern drawl- but there was no one next to him. He wasn’t even holding a phone.

 Jack had a doubt. Was the guy talking to him?

 ‘Yes, you are lovely, a bit old, but I would love you, and take care of you, and create glorious things with you, oh sweetheart, if only…’

 The guy was not talking to Jack. He was talking to the oven.

 He was also, apparently, completely drunk.

 ‘… better things than pizza rolls, you can be sure of that, you sexy thing…’

 Jack was a moment away from heading back to his room when he heard a sob.

 ‘… but it’s not to be, pretty thing, you and I will have to go our own separate ways and- sniffle- get with our own lonely lives and - oh lord, I’m being ridiculous-’

 ‘Huh-’ started Jack. ‘Are you okay?’

 The guy turned around. He looked older than Jack expected. At least, he seemed to be over eighteen. Jack only had an impression of eyes and blond before he got the drunkest and fakest smile he ever saw in his life.

 ‘HI!’ said the boy. ‘Gosh, you’re big.’

‘… are you okay?’ repeated Jack.

 ‘Why, yes, of course! I’m peachy!’

 ‘You’re crying.’

 The guy seemed surprised by this fact. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and made a dismissive gesture with his other hand.

 ‘Don’t mind me, sweetheart, I’m being silly.’

 ‘…You were crying,’ insisted Jack. ‘And talking to the oven.’

 ‘Well, no one else seemed to give her love, so I figured-’

 He stopped himself and looked at Jack.

 ‘You’re the Captain of the hockey team,’ he realised. ‘This is your house. This is your oven.’

 ‘…Yes? In a manner of speaking?’

 ‘What’s her name?’

 ‘Whose name?’

 ‘The OVEN,’ insisted the guy.

 ‘She- it doesn’t have a name?’

 ‘Blasphemy. If I had the chance to own such a lovely baby, I would name her something adorable! Like Daisy, or Betsy, and I would bake everyday, I would make pies and cookies and biscuits and-’

 He burst into tears.

 Jack threw a look around. The guys at the table were staring at them.

 ‘Dude, what’d you do to him?’

 ‘Nothing!’

 ‘D’you break up with him or something?’

 ‘No! We just met! He was talking about the oven- and then- and then-’

 He made a helpless motion towards the crying boy.

 ‘Maybe you should do something about it?’ suggested one of them.

 ‘Like what?’

 ‘Dunno. Something. To make him stop crying.’

 Jack hesitated. He thought about retreating to the safety of his room, where the music didn’t hurt his ears and blonde strangers didn’t burst into tears at the sight of a kitchen appliance.

 Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and patted the guy’s shoulder.

 ‘…there, there,’ he muttered, feeling like the most ridiculous man on Earth.

 He got several thumbs ups from the table residents. Which didn’t help his predicament at all. The boy was still crying.

 ‘Hey, hey, shh, don’t cry, everything is going to be okay…’

 ‘You don’t know that!’ wailed the blonde boy.

 ‘Okay, you’re right. Maybe, huh, what could make it right?’

 ‘I want to BAAAAAAAAAKE!’


(more under the cut!)

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