warmth purposes

001. spaces

prompt: the space in the blanket between you and boyfriend!jimin that lets the cold air in, just had a fight so he’s mad or you’re mad and one or the other are fighting the desire to snuggle up for warmth. hope i explained it well! love your work ♡

There had been lots of instances where Jimin and I had fought. Like when I replaced the sugar with salt making his coffee taste extra bitter and spoiling his already foul mood on that particular Monday morning. Or when he had replaced my shampoo for blue hair dye and I had emerged from my shower crying. Our pranks were lighthearted and we had always made up before the day ended. 

However, this was new. 

As we lay in bed, Jimin’s body was curled away from mine. He lay on the edge of his side of the bed stretching the blanket as far as it would allow. The space between us letting the cold air caress our bodies robbing our warmth. The purpose of the blanket was questionable as it refused to warm our hearts. 

I gazed at the back of Jimin’s head and pursed my lips, trying to decipher what I had done wrong to make him behave this way. To make him curl so far away from my body as if any contact with my skin would end him. 

My mind wandered to the coincidental meeting I had with Jeongguk. As far as ex-relationships go, ours was the one relationship that had ended with both of us on good terms. So when Jeongguk asked me to have a harmless cup of coffee with him, how could I refuse? As we spoke Jeongguk continued to enlighten me with details on his soon to be fiancée who he was meeting that same evening to propose. 

Just as he had taken my number, to invite both Jimin and I to his wedding, Jimin had appeared. The concern was evident on his face when he saw Jeongguk and I together but he hid it quickly and brushed off any explanation I offered him saying it doesn’t bother him. 

Ah, I’m so dense. Of course he’s bothered. 

I let out a deep sigh and turned away from the ceiling to face Jimin again. I bit my lip and rolled towards Jimin as if I were as sleep. I wrapped my arms around Jimin’s torso, holding my body tightly against him. 

“Yah~ What’re you doing?” Jimin said, attempting to push my arms away. I tightened my arms around him and sighed into his shoulder, pretending to be asleep.

“I know you’re not asleep,” Jimin said, his hands pried weakly at mine, I intertwined our fingers and smiled into his shoulder as he let out a sigh of frustration. 

“I’m asleep,” I mumbled back, caressing the back of his hand with my thumb.

“No, you’re not.” Jimin said bluntly, I frowned at his tone, moving to untangle our limbs. However, he tightened his grasp on my hands, restricting my movements. 

“I know you’re not asleep because whenever you sleep you not only throw your arms around me but also a leg over me, completely immobilizing me.” Jimin said, his usual playful tone slowly creeping back into his voice. I fleetingly kissed the back of his neck, causing a shiver to run through him and wrapped my leg around him. 

“There,” I said, smiling against him. he abruptly let go of my wrist and turned around in my arms to face me, forcing our bodies to mesh perfectly. 

“This is better,” Jimin murmured, brushing his hand across the length of my face. He ran his hand down the length of my arm and intertwined our fingers once again. As I stared at his sleep filled eyes, I bit my lip unable to hold my words in anymore.

 “Jeongguk is engaged,” I blurted. Jimin looked up at me with his eyebrow raised. 

“He asked for my number so that he could invite us both to his wedding.” I continued, squeezing his hand in mine. Jimin’s lips quirked into a small smile as he quietly listened to my outburst.

“I know you said that you weren’t bothered, but I know you. I’ve been with you long enough to know when something has upset you. I’m sorry I didn’t clear this up sooner.” I murmured, my eyes drifting to out intertwined hands. 

“I wasn’t upset with you, I was upset with myself.” Jimin murmured, his hands playing with mine. 

“I was the one that acted like it didn’t bother me in the first place when I was dying of curiosity …and jealousy.” Jimin admitted bashfully, he quietly laughed at himself and ran a hand through his tousled hair. As he moved to turn away from me, I grasped his hand once again and intertwined our fingers. I leaned forward and placed a firm kiss on his unsuspecting lips. As I moved away from him, he gazed into my eyes, searching for an explanation. 

“The spaces between my fingers, in my bed, and in my heart are occupied by you, Park Jimin. I love you now and forever, don’t you ever forget it.”

When you forget how to love yourself,
remember:

1. No matter how broken, your heart will always pump blood through your veins, because it’s sole purpose is to make sure you survive today.

2. A butterfly can never see its own wings, and therefore cannot know how stunningly beautiful it is. People are like that, too.

3. If you choose to be kind to yourself, it means you are better than the people who hurt you.

4. You have made people feel like they’re special and that’s the biggest gift you could ever give to someone.

5. Every single soul on this planet deserves to be loved. You are no exception.

6. Every time you leave the house the sun is so happy to see you it can’t stop itself from caressing your skin with its warmth.

7. When your mother first held you in her arms, right after you were born, she felt complete for the first time in her life.

8. Someone out there, a soul you don’t yet know, is wondering how it would feel like to know somebody like you.

9. It’s okay to have a bad day. Or a bad week. Or a bad month. Or a bad year.

10. You are always, always enough. Even on the days you don’t quite know how to love your own self.

—  Poetic Moon Child (When you forget how to love yourself)

I’m so happy to be single and myself and free and loving

like I’m so ready to pour my heart into taking care of myself and getting where I want to be. I’m so ready to feel love again. And warmth, and purpose, and pride. I’m so happy to be going towards healing myself and finding people who love me as myself. I’m finally ready to keep undeserving people out of my life, and to put myself first, and to not tolerate anything less than kindness. 

The Haunting

Ship: Bathing Bird (Sam x Josh)

Summary: Sam wakes up to Josh next to her. He explains why he can’t sleep at night, and she asks him to just take a break.

Notes: Sorry for how short it is. Just kinda what was on my mind…

Light hits cornea, pupils focus, colors turn from grey blotches to clear, crisp cut pallets of cool greys and warm browns. Skin prickles of cold and fingers can’t feel from loss of circulation. The body slowly starts to register its existence, its purpose. Warmth stung against resisting cold as a gentle exhale escaped lungs and passed over soft lips. Arms… Warm, toned, gentle arms. A heartbeat. Very strong, yet steady and slow. Legs tangled with another’s legs, a nose pushed against golden tresses. As if to comfort its owner with the familiar scent of strawberries.

Once Sam was fully aware, blood rushed to her face, causing her cheeks to turn a dark crimson color. It was Josh. She’d know those hands and arms anywhere, but why was he there? Did he stay the night? Wait… was she even in her own room? No, not a room at all. She was asleep on the couch. His couch. How? Her eyes wondered, seeing the modern globe like sphere that hung from the ceiling at the lodge. That was right… She was at the lodge, about to read a book. But how the hell did she end up here, on the couch? She tried to move away, but Josh groaned, pulling her tighter against him. Oh god, he smelled like beer… Great, so he fell asleep on her drunk. That means Chris was here, too. Sam tried to move away again, her leg stretching to push against the armrest on the other end of the couch. “Josh… Let me go…” She whispered, pushing her arms out to get free.

Josh woke up slowly, a groan escaping his lips. “Huh..?” He shook his head gently, trying to shake himself awake now. He had terrible bags under his eyes, which meant he still didn’t sleep much. He still beat himself up over his sister’s deaths… He kept blaming himself for everything. Maybe if he didn’t get drunk that night, he could’ve run out to save them. If he didn’t even invite his friends, the prank wouldn’t’ve even happened. “Sam? Oh shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. I just kinda.. passed out and the couch caught me.”

Sam made a face, sitting up now that Josh let go of her. “You normally don’t drink on Sundays. Is Chris here?”

“No.” He answered sadly, yawning a bit. “He left when Ash called him last night. You were already out. Long day hiking?” He teased. No matter what mood Josh was in, he always found a way to tease about something. Even if it wasn’t funny, he still commented on it. Sam always thought it made him feel better about whatever was going on.

“Har har.” Sam stood, pulling the blanket with her as she stood. “And I guess… I mean, I did hike for 3 hours…” She muttered, yawning quietly.

“Sam… I saw them again..” Sam froze, looking back at him with scared eyes. “It’s why I started drinking. I thought if I drank, they’d go away, but it just got worse. I couldn’t… fight them off. They ganged up on me and—“

“Stop, Josh.”

“And they tormented me with all their songs and jokes… they shoved me to the floor and told me I was a useless brother, that I couldn’t help them. That I never helped them…”

“Josh! Stop. Now. I don’t need to hear—“

“Sam. I need you. The others don’t get it. I tried telling Chris, and he just told it off as a dream. Mike didn’t believe me either. No one does, but you. Please, don’t leave me, too… It’s really dark here, and I hate it.”

Sam sighed gently and sat down slowly next to him, looking in the distance as she thought quickly. “Josh… I think you need to take it easy, okay?”

“I was drunk last night. How much easier do I need to be?”

“No, I meant you need to take a break. No alcohol, no drugs. Just sleep for a few days, eat normally. It’s really scaring me how bad you’ve become. You’re really thin and you have terrible bags under your eyes. Just… Do this for me, please?”

Josh sighed tiredly, running his fingers through his own dark hair. “Fine, fine. I’ll sleep in.” He mumbled, staring down at the coffee table before them.

Sam leaned over and kissed his cheek gently, removing her blanket and wrapping it around his shoulders. “Thank you…”

“No. Thank you… For caring about me.”