warm up shit

just because you meant it as a joke doesn’t mean you didn’t do something wrong. i teach preschool and i can’t believe six year olds understand this concept better than adults. if you say something hurtful, you’re the bully, not the person who gets upset. it might feel icky to realize that you do have bigoted beliefs; but when you blow off apologizing with “people who know me know i don’t mean it,” you’re not helping the people you hurt and you’re not changing the way it sounded. why in the heck is it so hard for grown people to just admit they were wrong and apologize for it.

freedom of speech isn’t freedom from consequence and i’ll say it until my blood runs dry. hate speech is also not covered under the first amendment. and again, a concept preschoolers understand: your words are not more important than the safety or comfort of another person. 

yes. legally i can’t stop you from printing and screaming whatever you want. but legally you can’t stop me from being angry and responding to it. and if you expect others to just “not get offended” by what you say, you must also expect others not to take you seriously at all! listen. if you understand i can send a child into the hallway for calling another child names, you can wrap your head around the fact you don’t have the right to do and say whatever you want without somebody reacting. this isnt your world, it’s all of ours, and we’re allowed to ask you to leave the classroom. grow up, realize you actually might have done something bigoted - even by “accident” - and change yourself for the better.

and if you’re the type who just throws a hissy fit every time somebody points out you’re being a bully… congratulations. you’re acting like a four-year-old.

i think the most messed up part about it all is how you still linger even though you left. i’m beginning to find myself unable to even talk to new people without stopping and remembering that they’re not you. like the laughter dies and bubbles deep in my stomach, my tongue curls back and i retreat, closed mouth, eyes lowered. and i know that confuses people when i suddenly become distant, but, yeah, i still can’t enjoy myself or others anymore and dive into new friendships because i know i will never reach that same level of intimacy that i did with you. and that’s partly because there’s no one in the world that’s going to take your place, and that’s partly because you took advantage of my trust and generosity and now i can’t ever pour my entirety into any relationship anymore for fear it’ll be too much for them like it was too much for you. too much and too ugly. you said it would be better if you would leave, so why are you still here in everything i do?
—  god, you said this would be the last time i’d hear from you, but i should have known that you wouldn’t suddenly stop lying now

i mean im an adult, i guess, if that’s the word for it. a lot of things i used to care about i just say “Fuck It” and let go. 

but it’s incredible to me that there’s still so many passages to my soul. how just a group of teenagers looking at me and laughing makes my teeth hurt. how someone’s comment sends me back to high school bullying. how i am constantly asking myself are they even really my friends? 

i don’t know. i never throw myself birthday parties because my worst nightmare would be that nobody shows. i just wonder if there’s ever a time that your last insecurities let go. i’ve only ever found that kind of freedom at the honey lips of tequila. i want to be brave at two pm on a sunday. i want to actually not care what they say. i want to be the kind of witch that laughs through the burning.

i don’t know. i hope i’m learning.

imagine alec in two sweaters, walking past magnus’s bookshelves, trying to figure out where each one of the books he had been reading belongs. his long fingers are a little cold and he’s dragging them over the titles and the authors because since the last time he was looking at them, magnus has rearranged them and he no longer knows the system. but just as he’s about to put one of them back in the right place, big arms slide around his shoulders and a warm chest presses right up against his back.

the minute it happens alec breathes out heavy, shutting his eyes because it’s like stepping out of the shadows into the warmth of the morning sun, having magnus’s body pressed against his. magnus’s arms are warm and his chest is warmer, and as he presses his face into alec’s shoulder, his breath is hot, permeating through alec’s sweater.

“need some help?” magnus asks, moving his head to press a couple of soft kisses into alec’s neck, just shy of his deflect rune.

alec shivers, smiling bigger than you can even imagine and glancing back. magnus is looking at him, those warm brown eyes all soft, smirking as he kisses alec’s neck again, his goatee just catching against his skin.

“please.” alec replies, but he can’t even remember what he was doing honestly.

3

oh my

i told u guys jasper is good at poetry

2

today’s warm ups got really elaborate and i accidentally camp swap!au’d?? anyway, here we have: greek!jason and annabeth before the titan war, and roman!piper/percy before they got made praetors. 

Victor is all surprise kisses. Quick pecks to Yuuri’s check, the back of his neck, and his lips of course. Always ending a big moment with a kiss and delighting in the sound of happiness Yuuri makes every time. Yuuri always follow through Victor’s surprise pecks with a surprise deep kiss that ends with one of them in a back bend. 

But Yuuri is all lead up. A soft smile, a slight pull towards him, staring at Victor’s eyes that are just so warm and full of love…for him. Then their foreheads always meet and Victor giggles like it’s their first kiss instead of hundredth, thousandth, whatever…then they kiss and this is when the giggles really start. Victor always blushes when he laughs too hard for them to properly lock lips, and Yuuri can’t blame him because half the time he starts losing it himself. 

No matter who initiates it it always ends the same. A perfect mirror of a pull back, someone brushing back the other’s hair, and a murmured I love you. 

5

Oh shit.

And Kuroo finds himself falling in love all over again.