war raging inside

Good intentions don’t excuse bad behavior.
You will always enjoy yourself less when you have planned for it.
Grief has no solution. Let it be.
Not forgiving someone destroys you more than it destroys them.
Sometimes there are no amount of encouraging words to pull someone out of the sheer exhaustion and melancholy of being alive.
People see you the most when you don’t want to be seen at all.
Honest laughs must be drawn out until all the air is gone. Like a balloon.
Panic attacks exist to make you think your life is wrong.
It is nearly impossible to maintain a close friendship when one person is depressed and the other is not.
Not really knowing someone is what makes a life look interesting. Like when the movie trailer is better than the movie.
If you need them to care more than they do, it won’t happen. Ever.
Learning to dance in public without pretense is incredibly liberating, and people will envy you for it.
There is a spiritual war raging inside all of us.
Deciding to do something different just because you know it’s different does not make you unique. Unique is liking what you like. Unique is shamelessly admitting how much you still love that band even after they’ve sold out.
Being alone is powerful.
People don’t praise others because they’re afraid there will be no glory left for them.
Nostalgia is the art of abandoning details.
You’re never fooling anyone nearly as much as you’re fooling yourself.
Small talk is THE WORST.
No one hates the prettiest person in the room more than the 2nd prettiest person in the room.
Regrets are useful, not useless. Dwelling is useless.
Humbling yourself is the biggest component of self-improvement.
It’s easier to get in your own way than it is for anyone else to.
Kindness is the fastest way to earn respect.
Depression is a lack of willingness.
Opposites attract because they have so much to learn from each other.
If you have to test their love, you’re not worthy.
Half-hearted encouragement is worse than no encouragement at all.
If a woman is constantly being let down by a man, it’s because she doesn’t know how powerful it is to be a woman.
Nothing could be more bittersweet than knowing that it’s not going to play out the way you envision it.
Helping people is the most rewarding thing on the planet and the least practiced.
If you had everything figured out about anything, you wouldn’t be here.
The more you don’t wear makeup, the better you look without it.
Love is not rare. Unconditional love is.
You’re the only one who thinks your family is embarrassing.
Getting rid of one vice means replacing it with another.
It’s all in your head. Literally.
—  Amy Shock
WHY YOUR SIGN CRIES
  • Aries: They feel overwhelmed, dominated, or controlled. They like having the ability to do things for themselves and controlling their lives, and hate when other people take the reins.
  • Taurus: It takes a lot to make a Taurus cry, so when they cry, it's over a death, a nasty breakup, but betrayal is what really gets the tears flowing.
  • Gemini: They often to cry of manipulate the situation in their favor, but the genuine tears come out when they struggle with themselves, they always have a raging war inside of them.
  • Cancer: Hating wearing their heart on their sleeves, but sometimes failing, Cancers cry over little things. Large things might cause them to lash out, only to end in tears later.
  • Leo: When they don't get their way, when they feel restricted, or betrayed. Among the most loyal of the signs, Leo expects nothing else from the rest of the world.
  • Virgo: Often in the pursuit of perfection, Virgos cry when they feel useless or not good enough. They're often overwhelmed, and their minds are always screaming, they never have a moment of peace.
  • Libra: Librans cry over many things. They cry when they feel insulted, when they feel something isn't fair, but they quickly recover.
  • Scorpio: When Scorpio cries, no one will know. They will shed tears in private, and it will be over a large matter - a nasty breakup, rejection, or death.
  • Sagittarius: Ever the optimist, Sagittarius cries quickly and briefly, it takes a lot to affect them, such as a death of a loved one, or restriction of freedom.
  • Capricorn: Living with the weight of the world on your shoulder takes a toll on Capricorns. They cry when they're under pressure or extremely stressed out.
  • Aquarius: Humanitarians till the very end, Aquas cry for the rest of the world. They feel everyone's pain, even if they pretend not to.
  • Pisces: Sensitive and reactive, Pisces cry over simple things and are unafraid to show their emotions.
Try Again (Part 1/4)

By: ProMarvelFanGirl

Word count: 761

Pairing:  Steve x Reader, Bucky x Nat

Warnings: None

Part 1 of 4

You don’t know how it happened, four days ago you were just fine, ready to enjoy the wedding of two of your best friends.   Now you were conflicted and didn’t know what to do.  You stand beside Natasha and watch the official begin her and Bucky’s wedding.  You have a bright smile on your face but inside a war was raging inside you.   You sneak a glance at Steve and find he is staring at you with a large smile from the other side of Bucky.

-4 days ago-

You sat beside Steve on the jet, both of you reading your books, enjoying the flight.  You sneak a glance at him and smile.  You and Steve had dated for a year and the timing just wasn’t right so you split up.  You were just glad you two remained friends and everything was normal.  Natasha and Bucky were getting married and all the Avengers were flying to a private island resort for the wedding.  You meet Steve’s eye and you both set your books down.  

“No date?” You ask with a grin turning slightly towards Steve.

“No” he replies with a grimace. “I was gonna take Stephanie from data but all she kept asking me was if Thor was going.”

You roll your eyes, “Why do you insist on dating girls who are only out to get something. You need to choose better.”

Steve scoffs, “Well what about you?  Where the hell is your date?”

“Language Mr. America,   Campbell in weapons was suppose to be my date but kept asking if you were going to be there.” You reply with a smirk.

“I TOLD YOU! I told you he had a crush on me.” Steve said pointing at you accusingly all the while laughing.

You begin to laugh with him adjusting yourself in the seat so that you were facing him.  You take in his smiling face.  You always loved the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and the way the his teeth were perfectly straight.  You snapped yourself back to reality to focus on what he was saying to you.

“So I guess we are going to be each other’s dates.  Which works since usually the best man and maid of honor hook up at weddings right?”  He questions with a laugh.  You know he is joking but you swear you see a glimmer of hope in his eyes for a brief moment.

“I guess you’re right.” You say with a shy smile, “Steve do you think -”

You are cut off by Bucky walking towards you and plopping on the seat across the aisle.  “What’s going on with you too? I need a break from Nat, someone is going to get murdered before this wedding is over.”

“Y/n was just about to ask me something.” Steve says slightly annoyed. He and Bucky both turn to you looking expectant.

“It was nothing, I better go check on Natasha so she doesn’t end up in jail before the wedding night.”  You grab your book and stand waiting for Steve to let you out of the row.   

Steve looked at you curiously and as you are about to walk away he grabs your wrist lightly, “Hey you okay?”

You give him a slight smile, “Fine. We can talk later.”  

He releases your wrist and lets you walk away just like he did a year ago.  He turns to Bucky who has a cheeky grin on his face.

“Shut up Buck.” He says rolling his eyes looking back at his book.

“Still hung up on Y/n huh?”  Steve shrugs at him, “Well you know love is the theme of the weekend, never know what can happen.”

Steve chuckles, “You’re a punk you know that.  Focus on marrying your girl.”

—-

You walk over to Nat and sit in what you assume is Bucky’s empty seat.   Nat is on her computer typing furiously.   

“These people are idiots.  They messed up the rooms at the resort.  I am going to kill them when we get there.”  Nat seethes.

“Nat, calm down it can’t be all that bad.  Who doesn’t have a room?” You say in a calm voice.

“Well there is 2 rooms for 4 people.”  Nats begins slowly looking behind her before turning back to look at you.

“Who are the four?  Maybe they will be willing to share?” You say smiling at her, she can’t even keep her eyes off of Bucky when he is just a few steps away.

She turns to you with a sly smile, “Jane, Thor, Steve, and you.”

(a/n Please let me know if you like I love feedback)

@marvelfanfichq @firewolfkelly

I don’t know who I am,
or what I will be.
My identity is a whirlwind
of mismatched personalities,
snippets of people and stories I have read.
But I am tired of being 
a hodgepodge of hopes and dreams
that never came to being. 
I want a crystal clear image
of the girl thought up by the Creator,
a girl unafraid of what lies ahead.
I want my life to be more than Pinterest boards
and Tumblr aesthetics (but keep the flowers).
I want concrete, even if it’s still drying in the sun.
I want castles and swords, 
and this war raging inside of me 
to end at the sight of a white flag. 
I don’t know who I am,
and the water is rapidly rising.
I know my time is running out,
I can hear the ticking like I hear the beat
of my heart thumping in my ears at night.
I want to be magnificent.
I want people to stop in their tracks and notice me,
but I also want to be invisible, floating by.
This life of mine is a Wizard of Oz-sized tornado, 
and I am watching it all dance around me.
I want the dust to settle so I can pick
up the pieces and see what they make.
—  a.k. // june twenty eight

“Do you really think running will help?”
“I’m not running. I’ve never run away from anything.”

And in that moment I saw all that you are. I knew you had a war raging inside you, but now I know that it isn’t just something that surfaces every now and then. You live it, every moment of every day.

My heart broke when you told me you needed to leave, but I know now that it is impossible for you to stay.

“I’m not happy here.”

I want all the happiness in the world for you. And I know that wherever you end up you will be magic.

—  RB, I love you and hope you will be happy
you see, it’s 2015 and people still think of eating disorders as a more physical ailment than a mental one.
it’s 2015 and people still don’t understand that eating disorders are purely mental. EATING DISORDERS ARE A POISON INVADING YOUR EVERY BRAIN CELL. the weight loss, the hair falling out, the rotted teeth; all of these are side affects of the real war raging inside your head.
it’s 2015 and some people still think eating disorders are some kind of fucking choice or something. a ‘diet gone too far’ or a ‘risky lifestyle choice’. people don’t understand how badly those suffering wish they could just turn the thoughts off, how badly we want to not have these worries. how if it were at all possible, we would go back in time and not decide to skip that first meal, before this all became SOMETHING WE CAN’T EVEN CONTROL ANYMORE.
it’s 2015 and people still think that dieting is normal??! well, i’ll tell you one thing, DIETING IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL. it should never be a conversation had between friends over coffee. no one should say ‘oh, yeah, today’s a cheat day’. what the fuck are cheat days? it’s fucking bullshit, is what it is. people should understand that any sort of dieting (whether you believe it to be ‘healthy’ or not), is associated with depression, anxiety, and nutritional/metabolism problems. any form of dieting sets you at a risk for obsession with food and weight, and ultimately, an eating disorder. is it really worth it?
it’s 2015 and oh god this is the one that gets me: eating disorders are still believed to be a ‘cry for attention’ or a phase. also utter bullshit. people with eating disorders go to extreme lengths to hide their struggles from friends and family members. AN EATING DISORDER IS LIKE A LIVING ENTITY INSIDE OF YOUR SKULL. IT DOES NOT WANT TO BE CAUGHT. IT WANTS TO KEEP DESTROYING, IT WANTS TO CONTINUE TO TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD.
it’s 2015 and people with eating disorders are still believed to only affect white, middle class teenage girls. funny because i met an eight year old on her death bed with a tube running up her nose because eating anything made her feel like a failure. funny because my grandmother has a friend her age who still will not touch a cookie. funny because i knew a young black boy who was so scared of going a day without a workout, he would miss school to fit it in his schedule. eating disorders do not target a certain type of people. ANYBODY CAN HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. ANYBODY.
it’s 2015 and our world is so uneducated about the most life-threatening mental illness that i have to compile this passage. it makes me angry that this is not common knowledge in the first place. what are we teaching in our schools? what are they preaching in the magazines? what kind of toxic conversations are we having with our friends?
it’s 2015 and it’s all wrong. this is all so WRONG.
Angry Horoscopes

Aries - there is a war constantly raging inside you
Taurus - you are nothing but pure poison
Gemini - everthing you do is swift, brief, ephemeral
Cancer - no matter how much you change, you are still a thing of darkness
Leo - you burn with the fury of a thousand flaming suns
Virgo - the first to everything, but easily forgotten
Libra - your appeal is both beauiful and deadly
Scorpio - you are cold, dark, forgotten, and the death of everything
Sagittarius - you rule above others to hide the fact that you’re unstable
Capricorn - you have always been an outcast, and you have always enjoyed it
Aquarius - everything you do is for the amusement of others, whether you like it or not
Pisces - like water, you can save, but too much of you will drown

  • Me: I do not want a baby
  • My Body: But... But... we... *sniffles*
  • Me: No baby, we are not having a baby.
  • My Body: Fine then! Be that way! *throws a tantrum, raging a war inside of me*
  • Me: why do you have to be like this?