wanting to belong

I just want to belong to someone, even just for a day. I just want to feel that i am important and special. That i don’t need to spend my time worrying if tomorrow when i wake up, if that person is still there. I also want to be someone’s priority, not always an option or a back up plan. I want to feel that i am worthy of someone’s time and attention. That i don’t need to chase that person or ask to them to talk to me. And i don’t have to beg them to give me the time of their day. I’m not asking for too much but i hope i can feel these things even just for a day.

It doesn’t interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned,
if you can know despair or see it in others,
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes,
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living,
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

~David Whyte~
RIVER FlOW: New and Selected Poems

It doesn’t interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned,
if you can know despair or see it in others,
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes,
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living,
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

—  David Whyte~
RIVER FlOW: New and Selected Poems

u know what gets me? Steve knew he couldn’t get drunk, he’d figured it out, but he kept drinking, he knew he wasn’t getting any drunker but he still kept drinking, hoping that eventually it’d work and it’d drown out the memory of Bucky falling, the memory of his screams, the memory of his arms reaching out for him. he knew it wasn’t working but he still kept trying bc all he wanted was to forget.

sleepy!phan because they’ve totally done this before and phil can definitely pick dan up

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