ok but normalise going to coffee shops alone, eating dinner alone, going to the cinema alone. i’m okay & i’m not particularly sad or lonely. i feel bad that you’re feeling bad because i just happened to enjoy the company of myself today.
What’s up, fam? For International Rromani Day this year, I thought it would be a good idea to maybe post some basic info. So here is your IRrD cultural crash-course cheat sheet:
The word “G*psy” is an ethnic slur. It comes from the misconception that we originated in Egypt (hint: we did not). Basically, white Europeans were like “hey those guys are brown. They must be Egyptians. lol ‘Gyptians. lol ~G*PSIES~”. AKA, they couldn’t be bothered to ask where we actually came from. Some Rroma have opted to reclaim this word and may use it to refer to themselves. That does not mean that it’s okay for just anybody to use it. Friendly tip: do not use this word unless you are actually Rromani.
Rromani people trace their roots back to India and some parts of Pakistan (but mostly India?). While many don’t necessarily consider themselves Indian or even South-Asian, we are also not white.
We are a diaspora group. That means we were expelled from the country/left nationless.
Rroma come in all colours. Some of us are dark-skinned and some are light-skinned. We are all POC. There are certain physical traits that are common in our ethnic group, but that does not mean that we all have these traits. In fact, many of these traits have been used to stereotype us, which isn’t cool.
Our culture involves a lot of dancing and music. And food. And our food is generally pretty spicy.
We are not Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame). In fact, that book is hella racist and the movie isn’t really much better. In the book, Esmeralda was a gadje (non-Rromani) girl who was kidnapped by Rroma (stereotype) and raised in their community (stereotype). As you will know from the movie, she dressed provocatively (stereotype) and danced for coins (stereotype). Rroma women are often portrayed as sexual objects, which is really gross tbh. Although the cute lil’ goat friend is 110% factual. I mean, not really. But I had a goat friend. Her name was Rochelle. More on that later.
Rroma men are often stereotyped as lazy.
Other stereotypes include fortune tellers, witches, thieves, beggars, and street performers. I am here to tell you that we are honestly no more likely to do these things than any other cultural group so… yeah? And those that do are often forced into these positions by laws and discrimination in their home countries.
Speaking of which, forced eviction, mass deportation, sterilisation, systematic impoverishment and oppression, workplace discrimination, segregated education, and TAKING CHILDREN AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILIES are problems that Rroma are still facing TODAY.
Rroma are sometimes known as Travellers because we have historically been a fairly nomadic group (by necessity). Rromani people would (and many still do) travel from place to place, looking for work, only to be chased away by prejudiced locals. Think old man on a porch shouting “Get off my lawn!” at the paper boy. Dumb, right? Right.
We do not want your children. For some reason, gadje think we want to steal their children? Some even think we eat them??? We do not do this.
Gadje is not a bad word. It literally means “non-Rromani person”.
Our language is called Rromanes or Rromani Chib. There are like a gajillion different dialects. Those of us who actually speak our chib might not be able to understand another Rrom because of dialectical differences. It’s complicated.
We are not a costume. A G*psy is not something you can just become. You can’t convert. You either are or you are not. Wearing long skirts does not make you a ~*G*pSy*~. Being a hippie does not make you a ~*G*pSy*~. Pracitising witchcraft does not make you a ~*G*pSy*~. We are not mythical creatures. You cannot become Rromani any more than you can become Black or Asian or Hispanic. It is especially concerning when people act like we are a style instead of an ethnicity because a) it makes a mockery of our culture, and b) makes it seem like we do not actually exist.
So recently i started reading this manga Dungeon Meshi. I fucking love it.
there’s this group of adventures exploring a dungeon RPG style, you
know like go into the dungeon defeat the evil sorcerer kinda stuff. They
get pretty deep in it and they run into a dragon.
They could totally take it down except there was one problem…they ran out of food and were way too hungry to take it on. So…
got their asses handed to them. Their mage is casting their “get the
hell out of there” spell but the main characters sister get eaten by the
dragon. When he realizes what happen he wants to go back down on a
rescue mission, if they can get there before the dragon finishes
digesting her they can fix her up good as new. BUT there are problems,
the biggest one is
they broke yo. They dropped most of their loot
when they were dying. They got no money to buy supplies, no money to
replace the members that left, and not a lot of time to fix that
problem. So our three brave adventurers decide to go in on their own
with nothing but what they managed to have equipped. But how do they
solve the food problem?
YEP! THE MC TELLS THEM THEY ARE GONNA EAT
MONSTERS! But none of them have actually cooked or eaten monsters
before. So the MC is about to cook a giant scorpion when this dude shows
Meet Senshi, he has spent a decade in the mid part of the
dungeon cooking and eating monsters. He gets interested when he finally
meets some people who also want to eat monsters and decides to show them
how to cook.
He knows his shit. So in case you haven’t figured it out…
This is a cooking manga.
AND THUS THESE FOUR BRAVE AND HUNGRY ADVENTURES BEGIN THEIR MISSION TO DEFEAT THE DRAGON AND SAVE THE MC’S SISTER!
…I just love the idea about it. It was a one shot that became a series. Give it a read if you want.
Here’s a list of things nobody told me before I got my bird. You’re welcome to fact check and add your own experiences! I hope this helps someone!
Possibly disturbing images of animal neglect below.
NEVER get a pet bird who lives alone a mirror for their cage. They can choose their own reflection as a mate, which needless to say isn’t healthy and can be extremely sexually frustrating. It’s much healthier to get even small birds foraging toys to entertain them.
ALL birds need lots of social interaction if they’re going to remain mentally healthy! This is especially important for birds that live in large groups in the wild like cockatoos, finches, and parakeets, but also true for “loner” birds like Senegals and African Greys. Without the proper social interactions (hours a day with people or other birds) birds can get bored and pick up destructive habits like feather pulling, biting, and screaming, and even develop mental illnesses like depression or anxiety. Yes, even parakeets.
Feather pulling removes a bird’s main way of staying warm, which can lead to life threatening things like hypothermia.
Parrot’s body temperatures are around 103 degrees Fahrenheit, much higher than humans, and largely thermoregulate through their feet. Because of that and their small body size, they can get hyper or hypothermia fairly easily when compared to humans. In hot months it’s important to provide them with a shallow dish of water they can cool off in, and in cold months, a heating pad or perch they can sit on to keep warm. Parrots do best in a stable, relatively warm environment; while they can take slight changes, drastic changes in temperature can be very detrimental. Non-tropical/arid birds are a bit different from what I hear, so can’t really talk about them.
Parrot beaks constantly grow, so it’s important to provide lots of chewing fodder (I like to call them sacrifices) for your parrot to chew on or get their beaks trimmed by a professional.
These can be hard calcium treats, wood, and other natural materials. Some can be plastic but I wouldn’t recommend those as they can be swallowed and impede digestion or become a choking hazard.
Birds are prey animals! They’re typically very nervous because they’ve been hardwired for centuries to be on the lookout for things that want to eat them. They’ll get nervous around new things, strange noises, and new people. They can learn to overcome some fears by careful desensitization, lots of social interaction, and a calm, careful owner. It’s VERY important to keep them away from predatory animals (dogs, cats, etc.), as it can cause unnecessary stress on the animals. If they absolutely have to interact, do so in a controlled environment and with one or both in separate carriers, cages, or pens. Know your animals, pay careful attention to their body language, and be prepared to step in if either looks stressed or aggressive.
My parrot Apollo meeting my friend’s cat, the right way.
Just like humans, birds have dietary needs that must be met if they’re to remain healthy. A few of the most important are Vitamin D (sunlight!), calcium (especially important in hens), and protein (required to grow healthy beaks, claws, and feathers). The easiest ways to take care of the first two is to provide your bird with lots of sunlight (direct or indirect depends on the bird) and a constant supply of cuttlebones or calcium treats. There are several different diet plans out there for all kinds of birds, but all agree that birds CANNOT live off nothing but seeds. This can cause fatty liver disease and early death, even in otherwise healthy birds. All parrots are usually fed a diet of pellets, fruits, and vegetables, but the ratios really depend on who you ask.
Here’s a few food pyramids for parrots:
Birds absolutely CANNOT be fed:
Any greasy, salty chips/popcorn or any processed “human food”
Alcohol (I shouldn’t have to say this)
Feel free to add on
Before you feed your bird ANYTHING, please look it up and make sure it’s safe!
never says sorry, ever, or only says sorry when they want something or they are forced to by others around them
yells at you for small things, like accidently dropping food on the counter, forgetting to put something away, or things that aren’t your fault like running out of cereal, or being attacked by an animal or person; blames you for things they do or just generally anything that goes wrong
ignores you/neglects your emotional needs, like spending hours on the computer and never wants to spend time with you/values things or work more than you
never compromises, always need you to do things their way or else its “the wrong way” and/or belittles you for it. always needs you to be interested in their life/things but isn’t interested in your life/things
belittles you for your opinions or feelings and makes you feel like they’re not valid or that theyre dumb.
if they’re religious and they’re your parents, they are always ready to pounce on you when they think you are not doing the right thing or threatens to kick you out of the house if you are not/or dont do the things they say or want/think are godly
always has to control how you look/act/dress
is mean to you then acts nice immediately after and expects everything to be ok again expects you to forgive them right away or else you’re in the wrong
buys you things then acts like its your fault that you dont like them/want them and/or forces you into eat them/wear them/use them by yelling at you or belittling you
acts like your emotions are wrong
keeps you from your friends and family in roundabout (or obvious ways) and possibly acts like this is your fault
tells you that they have never done what you say they did, even though they did, never admits faults (gaslighting)
it’s a friday afternoon when sana asks isak a question.
“isak, don’t you ever feel like you don’t fit in with the boys?”
isak looks at her and frowns a little. he’d been midway through talking about how annoying vilde and magnus are, and he hadn’t really anticipated her question.
but he notices the seriousness in her expression. the little bit of vulnerability in her eyes. how it seems like it took a lot for her to ask that.
so, he replies as seriously as he can.
“sure, sometimes,” he admits. “sometimes it’s like…all they want to talk about is hooking up with chicks, or which girls are the hottest or whatever.” he shakes his head. “it isn’t like they mean to leave me out, but it’s not like i join in with that stuff either. it can be kind of awkward when all they want to do is talk about hooking up with girls.”
sana simply nods. and isak studies her, noticing the trouble on her face. “is everything okay?”
sana nods again. quickly and a little dismissively. because sana doesn’t want to bitch about her friends - or come across like she’s bitching about her friends. she would never want to say anything negative about them, even if it eats her up inside. and isak isn’t about to pressure her into talking if she doesn’t feel like it, so he just nods, too, and says, “okay.”
but a little later, the girl squad joins them. and isak notices something. notices how sana’s eyes fall to her knees when they come over; how she seems distant. detached from her friends. completely removed from the conversation, really. and how, worse yet, none of sana’s friends seem to notice.
when vilde asks sana whether she’ll be able to make it to the party tomorrow - and asks whether she can persuade elias and his friends to come too - isak sees how uncomfortable sana looks. how she opens her mouth, stuttering over an excuse she can’t bring herself to make.
she just seems tired, above all else, and isak remembers so, so clearly how that feels. like your friends don’t get you. don’t understand you. how suffocating it can be to experience that.
so, isak says, “but, sana, i thought you agreed to help me and even unpack the rest of our stuff tomorrow?”
and sana looks at him, frowning, because no, she didn’t. but he just widens his eyes a little, as if to say, the excuse is there if you need it. and sana smiles a tiny bit - barely there - before saying, “yeah, sorry, i said i’d help them.”
later, when it’s just isak and sana again, he gets up to leave - he’s meeting even at kb in a bit - and he says, “see you tomorrow, then, sanasol.”
and sana, confused, says, “you weren’t serious about me helping you unpack, were you? haven’t you finished unpacking?”
and isak just smirks, frowning a little, shaking his head. “yeah, we’ve finished unpacking. but you’re still coming over, right?”
sana just looks at him and says, “what for?”
isak shrugs. “just thought we could all hang together, if that’s chill.”
and sana smiles softly, eyes warm, and usually she’d tease him or something but she doesn’t feel like it all of a sudden. because, actually, the idea of hanging with isak and even seems like just the thing she needs right now.
"Starship please feed monsta x, i'm so worried because they have lost so much weight. Please take care of them, feed them, let them rest, feed them, look after them, feed them. I just want them to be healthy!!!"
I just wanted a normal season of Sherlock. Not James Bond. Not sister edgelord. I wanted them to eat Chinese , solve cases, run around London . No Mary in the scene. Just John and Sherlock. A closure.Was that too much to ask?