want to burn it down

various starters
  • ❛  you’re a weapon and weapons don’t weep.  ❜
  • ❛  hurt me once, I’ll kill you twice.  ❜
  • ❛  never trust a survivor until you learn what they did to stay alive.  ❜
  • ❛  death is the only god that comes when you call.  ❜
  • ❛  I am teeth. I am royal. you are nothing to me.  ❜
  • ❛  the sun will rise and we will try again.  ❜
  • ❛  we’re just kids. we aren’t supposed to be heroes.  ❜
  • ❛  I like my women like I like my Absinthe: bitter and intoxicating.  ❜
  • ❛  what doesn’t kill me better run.  ❜
  • ❛  she wasn’t looking for a knight. she was looking for a sword.  ❜
  • ❛  don’t dehumanize bad people, because it’s their humanity which makes what they’ve done so terrifying.  ❜
  • ❛  she isn’t just pretty. she is otherworldly and vaguely threatening.  ❜
  • ❛  magic is not good or evil. is a knife evil? only if the wielder is.  ❜
  • ❛  I don’t want your crown. see, I’ve come to burn your kingdom down.  ❜
  • ❛  they broke my wings. they forgot I have claws.  ❜
  • ❛  all that blood was never beautiful, it was just red.  ❜
  • ❛  what do you do when there’s no hero in the story? simple. you kill the monster and crown yourself.  ❜
  • ❛  how terrible it is, to love something that death can touch.  ❜
  • ❛  you may not be interested in war, but it is interested in you.  ❜
  • ❛  I feel divinity in my bones like aching. like fire.  ❜
  • ❛  you make me feel and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. now.  ❜
  • ❛  you are losing my interest and that is very dangerous.  ❜
  • ❛  she will burn your kingdoms down, herself with it, if it means your ruin.  ❜
  • ❛  it’s okay to be scared. it means your about to do something brave.  ❜
  • ❛  she looks like divine absolution.  ❜
  • ❛  I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find and impossible to forget.  ❜
  • ❛  be careful with words. they can be forgive, but never forgotten.  ❜
  • ❛  you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m tired of fighting. for once, I want to be fought for.  ❜
  • ❛  never run back to what broke you.  ❜
  • ❛  I was quite, but not blind.  ❜
  • ❛  your gut knows what’s up. trust that bitch.  ❜
  • ❛  we all eat lies when our hearts are hungry.  ❜
  • ❛  do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a donut.  ❜
  • ❛  you can miss something but not want it back.  ❜
  • ❛  you can’t save people, you can only love them.  ❜
  • ❛  I came, I saw, I made it awkward.  ❜
  • ❛  we buy shite we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.  ❜
  • ❛  you’re always one decision away from a different life.  ❜
  • ❛  my brain has too many tabs open.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m not saying I hate you, just that you’re like the Monday of people.  ❜
  • ❛  there’s no ‘we’ in fries.  ❜
  • ❛  apology accepted, trust denied.  ❜
  • ❛  death and I have been scandalously intimate for some time now.  ❜
  • ❛  life happens. coffee helps.  ❜
  • ❛  I am mine before I am ever anyone else’s.  ❜
  • ❛  I rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.  ❜
  • ❛  very early in my life it was already too late.  ❜
  • ❛  is that a threat or are you flirting with me.  ❜
  • ❛  was the use of force necessary in completing your objectives?  ❜
  • ❛  I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand.  ❜
  • ❛  I do bad things, and I do them very well.  ❜
  • ❛  you drink too much, you cuss too much and you have questionable morals. you’re everything I ever wanted.  ❜
  • ❛  they will kill you, but first they will have to catch you.  ❜
  • ❛  drugs might kill you but they’ll never break your heart.  ❜
  • ❛  good girls are just bad girls that haven’t been caught.  ❜
  • ❛  a pretty face doesn’t guarantee a pretty heart.  ❜
  • ❛  no airbag, we die like men.  ❜
  • ❛  true evil is, above all, seductive.  ❜
  • ❛  it takes more courage to suffer than to die.  ❜
  • ❛  you must be lucky to avoid the wolf every time. but the wolf? he only needs enough luck to catch you once.  ❜
  • ❛  justice is vengeance in prettier packaging.  ❜

Zevran: …Besides, if you ever grow tired of my colorful stories feel free to use kisses as a method to shut me up anytime!

Reine: I’ll… keep that in mind.

Zevran: Oh? Is that a promise? Because now the anticipation is going to kill me, thank you very much for that!

insp.(x)

NSFW (Not Safe For Witches): Staying Safe in Magic

A lot of this may seem like common sense, but it needs to be repeated, because Hi, I’m the Mom Friend. Stay safe, friends.

Don’t leave candles burning unattended. Do you want to burn your house down? That’s how you burn your house down. Get a candle snuffer if you’re uncomfortable blowing out your candles or you can use LED candles instead.

If you get a strange reaction to your incense, oils, or herbs, please talk to your doctor. There’s a lot of stuff that you might not realize you’re allergic to. Some people refuse to admit when they have an adverse reaction to their supplies. Don’t be silly. You can swap out any of your supplies for something else that won’t affect your health.

If you practice blood magic, always sanitize your instruments and wounds, or wait to use the blood from accidental wounds. Study first aid until it’s as fluent as a strongly studied second language if you practice blood magic. Stay safe medically, the same goes for sex magic.

Are you foraging for things to use in your craft at a local park or beach? Buy a field guide from your local book shop or borrow one from your local library. It’ll help you discern what’s safe to touch, take, and use from what could potentially result in hives, illness, or worse. I find it also helps to photocopy the images and add them to my grimoire or BoS for reference later on. 

Don’t burn anything you have not fully researched. If you’re not sure if that leaf you found could cause your dog to have a seizure or cause you to go blind, find out what it is first. Research is a witch’s best friend.

Pet-safe your practice. If you have pets that may wander into your space, make sure that nothing you’re using can make them sick. This applies to small pets like hamsters and the like who may be restricted to cages and can’t be away from your space while you’re practicing as well.

Watch where you go. If you’re going to practice outside, make sure you’re not trespassing on anyone’s property. Safety includes keeping yourself safe from the law too, pals.

Use common sense and intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

  • luke skywalker is terrifying. 
  • no, shut up, come back.
  • you have to understand:
  •  to you or me he may not be; he may be all sunshine smiles and corngold hair and the biggest eyes this side of the galaxy, but imagine you’re Dagger (stormtroopers don’t get proper names), firing at a boy, only the bolts never hit. They sing to the side. You think that there’s something wrong with your blaster, maybe, but none of your friends can hit him either. Finest shots in the Empire, you are, but you can’t hit this boy. And he cuts you down. He wields a weapon whose name you’ve never learned and he cuts you down into smoking bloodless bodies and your friends die before you – only he leaves you. Knocks you out with a blow of the Force – and isn’t that a nightmare of its own, unseen hands blotting out your thoughts – leaves you there in the cooling blood of your squadmates.
  •  Imagine that you’re Cara Ilhyre and you’re a dancer for the Hutt and you hate it, of course you do, but it is a living, a living, and this boy comes in, fresh-faced and young and he says surrender or be destroyed only he and you both know that the Hutt do not and never have surrendered and when he says destroy there’s this grin on his lips, thin and sharp, and he’s kind, of course he is, but –
    • so you’re Cara Ilhyre and you’re a native of tattooine and like many of your specis you are force-touched and you were a girl, once, a very little girl, and your mother told you tales of krayt dragons who slumbered beneath the sands and gentled their young to their pearl-heavy breasts. krayt dragons are tender mothers, she had said, and it was meant to teach you something of the duality of nature, or to fear those with young to protect, or something; but all you can think is this boy, how he smiles as kind as your mother did, once, but you’re convinced that if you were to cut him down the middle you would find dragon-pearls in his ribs and fire instead of a heart
    • the boy cuts downs jabba’s goons like they are nothing, nothing, and afterwards, afterwards, you sense his sorrow. and somehow that makes it worse.
    • because you say, later, to your mother’s ghost (maybe) or to the desert, he knows that killing people is hard and that weighs on him and he does it anyway and –
    • and, you say, it isn’t as simple as: he makes the hard choices. he knew the hutt would fight. he wanted to burn them down, oh he did, and that sister of his –

“that is the problem. if she wanted to dance i would let her wreck the furniture. if she wanted to cook i would let her burn down the house. and if she wanted to scream i would let her deafen me. I’ve never loved anyone enough to let them destroy me but God, she could take me by the throat and my eyes would sparkle at the mere inches between us.”

the scene where neil finds out andrew chose him over aaron is like…So Good…it hits him that andrew really, truly does care for him….and that what is happening between them is actually a ‘this’ because at that point andrew would not be able to come back from losing neil, he is the one thing that got between his resolve to never want anything after cass because it nearly killed him, and andrew knew better but, “perhaps it’s the self-destructive streak in me?” 

angelvan105  asked:

Merry Christmas! What kind of gifts exchange between Albus and Scorpius?

Sorry this is so late and out of season! I colored a comic I had sketched months ago, hence the date. Unfortunately there’s only Albus’s gifts to Scorpius (I never got around to deciding what he’d receive in return), but I hope it’s still enjoyable!

👻 Miss Levesque 👻

this started off as a repaint of this fucking gem of a piece that I did way back for the pjofanzine which the more I look at the more I want to hunt down every existing copy of the zine to BURN IT

there were meant to be gemstones in this but I was tired and I like the colour balance atm

also it was meant to be full body but as we all know I like faces, I hate bodies without life models

“Champagne, cocaine, gasoline”

Fall Out Boy is like champagne because it’s classy but it can still get you hammered. Panic! is like cocaine because it makes you feel like you’re on drugs. My Chem is like gasoline because it makes you want to burn shit down and be emo.

German movies Part 1

Hey guys! I noticed how many people on this website are learning German or want to learn it. It is my mother tongue and I love German cinema. We all know that movies help to improve language skills, so I made a list about my favorite German films and some must-sees! I hope you enjoy these films!

  • Keinohrhasen (the main actor is problematic IRL and also in this movie but I still like it, a journalist has to work in a day care center because he fucked up Vladimir Klitschko’s party, he meets the girl he used to bully when he was a teenager and then they fall in love… this movie is so typical for that director lmao)
  • Zweiohrküken (the same characters as in Keinohrhasen, they move in together and it’s a mess, also the guy’s ex affair wants him back and the woman’s ex boyfriend - whose dick she describes as the eiffel tower - is back in the city and wants to be with her again, drama drama drama, cute, typical German rom-com)
  • Anatomie (very bloody! about a girl who wants to become a doctor, creepy things happen at her summer med school)
  • Die wilden Hühner (a kids’ movie based on famous books, a cute girl gang wants to save a few chicken from a member’s granny who wants to kill and freeze them, very cute film)
  • (T)raumschiff surprise (gay people in space, ICONIC)
  • Fack ju Göhte (supposed to mean Fuck you Goehte, a criminal pretends to be a teacher, great comedy, sexy main actor, CHANTAL CRY LESS NOISY!)
  • Good bye, Lenin (iconic movie, a woman was in coma for 8 months and her son makes her believe the GDR still exists, awesome soundtrack, great story, cute couple, very moving)
  • Die Welle (a teacher makes a social experiment about fascism with his class and it goes wrong!! a must-see!)
  • Pünktchen und Anton (adaption of a famous novel, cute movie for children but I’m in my twenties and I still love it, a rich girl and a poor boy become friends)
  • Die dunkle Seite des Mondes (don’t take drugs guys, just don’t! this movie will show you why! the main character goes crazy - but is it just because he took drugs? find out!!)
  • Jeune Homme ((Swiss)German and French film about a guy who makes an au pair year, gets laid by the neighbour lady and falls in love with the host parents’ oldest daughter)
  • 7 Zwerge - Männer allein im Wald (it’s like Snow White and the 7 dwarfs but very trashy, the dwarfs are big, the prince has a wild hair style and Snow White loves playing with her barbie. Ah, and the evil queen’s outfits are iconic and weird)
  • Die wilden Kerle (a kids’ movie about boys who play soccer - we all love it! EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT AS LONG AS YOU’RE WILD! BE WILD - DANGEROUS AND WILD!)
  • Sommer (teen movie about the first love, takes place on an island, skater boy meets rich boy and they both love the same girl, teenage drama, i don’t wanna spoil but some people almost die and sth burns down)
  • Das Missenmassaker (12 girls who want to be Miss Switzerland, bitch fights 24/7 and a lot of blood because a lot of people get killed)
  • For No Eyes Only (Rear Window for teenagers, a very interesting thriller, cute main characters)
  • Homevideo (a guy films himself while masturbating, someone finds the video and then the drama starts, his family also falls apart)
  • Grosse Mädchen weinen nicht (two teenage girls, lots of feelings, sex, dangerous things)
  • Lola rennt (reminds me of The Butterfly Effect, iconic film, i don’t even wanna say more about it just watch it)
  • Who am I - Kein System ist sicher (movies about hackers with big plans and sometimes you have no idea if what you see is what is real)
  • Das Leben der Anderen (must see! fucking sad tho)
  • Cannabis (a member of the Swiss federal council who is against the legalization of weed has to consume weed because he has a problem with his eye and this helps - ofc his life changes and gets wild)
  • Die Herbstzeitlosen (4 old Swiss woman open a lingerie shop in a lil village and people freak out)
  • Grounding - Die letzten Tage der Swissair (the story behind the grounding of Swissair, the national airline of Swizzy)
  • Das Experiment (based on a true story, some people engage in a prison experiment - some are good people, others are bad people and ofc it escalates quickly)

I think one of my favorite aspects of the Six of Crows duology is the fact that Kaz and Inej do not end up together.

And that’s not because I don’t ship them.

It’s because Inej, unlike so many YA heroines, isn’t what “heals” Kaz. Her love doesn’t magically fix him or make him a better person. He wants to change for her– he wants to get over his phobia of human touch. He wants her to love him. But it isn’t some overnight happening. He doesn’t suddenly overcome his affliction because of his love for her.

In the end, Kaz is still morally ambiguous, sometimes outright corrupt, and still has severe PTSD trauma.

And while Inej might love Kaz despite those things, she is not willing to lower her worth to accept them in a relationship. “I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

That was one of the most powerful YA heroine lines to her love interest that I’ve ever read. So many fictional girls (and real girls, for that matter) stay in the hopes of fixing a man, of healing his brokenness. Inej wants to heal him, but she understands that she cannot. Only Kaz can heal himself. Only he can want it enough to change. And it won’t be some overnight affair. Wanting to change and actually changing are two entirely different things. Kaz will have to go through agonizing changes if he ever wants to grow.

So far, he has accepted that he is the “demon of the barrel”. He still wants to burn the world down. He is still angry and hurting. He talks about wondering why over the years, with every violent turn his life takes, why his phobia has only gotten worse. It’s because he’s let himself rot in it. He’s stripped any and all goodness in the world down to the barest threads.

That’s why he is not ready for Inej. Inej, who might have her own issues and flaws, but who still has hope for a better world. Who is still willing to fight for it.

It’s not Kaz’s inability to touch her that she wants him to work on. It’s his mindset. His finality in the evil in his heart and his acceptance of it. He will never get over his phobia until he can understand goodness, the goodness of touch, the goodness of man.

And Inej will not accept him while he still holds on to that armor of hatred. And I think that is beautiful. It is healthy. It shows a level of self-respect that is often sadly absent from our fiction today.

I want bigots to feel unsafe expressing their bigoted views. I want people to feel like their social circle and family will judge them, I want them to feel like they might lose their job and face financial ruin.

I want the world to be very unsafe and unwelcoming to those who’s “views” undermine the safety and existence of other people.

So don’t tell me not to fight fire with fire, I WANT to burn this shit down. I want to have so much pre-emptive and reactionary hatred for bigots that they feel unsafe, that they taste just a little of what their hatred brings to the lives of others.

I don’t want to Mother Theresa people, I don’t want to hold hands, sing kumbaya and guide people see my viewpoint. I want to create a world where their bigoted viewpoints are seen as inherently disgusting and these kinds of people are pushed to the fringe of society and we all view them with scorn.

I don’t need to change, people don’t need to change who they fundamentally are to fit into the world of a bigot and we don’t need to earth mother this bullshit and lead them there on a cloud of endless patience and internalised screaming.

So I’ll fight hate with hate, fire with fire, I’ll hate every bigot with passion and set fire to the very institutions that shelter them and take pleasure in salting the goddamn Earth with their tears.

We had just finished our first quest, where none of us really were experienced DnD player, and I did some feeble attempts at solid DM'ing. The goal of the quest had been to find an antidote for a farmer’s son who had gone into a magical coma.

(ps: due to an inside joke, Winnie the Pooh is in the party like, just there. Christopher Robin is the farmers son who fell ill. The party coloured winnie the pooh neon pink. I don’t know why.)

DM: You reach the farm. You don’t have to roll shit to figure out these peeps are poor. They have a cow and a goat in a small pen that don’t look too hot. Oh, and there’s a donkey tied by the door to their shedlike home.

Elf Ranger: guys i think these peeps are super poor.

Half-Elf Cleric (only good aligned partymember): oh my god really????

DM: just as you say that, the door creaks open, and a thin, a bit aged man peeks out, and when he sees you, his eyes go wide and he steps fully outside, and he says “Are you the ones my daughter sent to- have you found it? Did you find the antidote for my son?”

Half-Elf Cleric: Hello we are here to speak to you about Jesus Christ- I mean, Njord. That’s my deity, right?

Elf Ranger: Yeah, the word of Njord.

Dward Fighter (whose alignment is sorta fuzzy): Yeah we got some antidote dude but uhh time cough up some gold pieces, aight

DM: So- these news fills him with both glee and fear. He sinks down on his feet-

Half-Elf Cleric: What was he on before

DM: -His knees. He sinks down on his knees, and he brings his hands together in your typical prayer like- he’s begging you. “Please, we have… nothing.”

Tiefling Warlock (Chaotic Neutral): sad trombone

DM: “Please, I- I have but one son, he and my daughter are- we won’t be able to do the amount of work- we need him!”

Tiefling Warlock: “Shall we move on, my fellows?”

DM: As you guys speak about this, Winnie the Pooh slides down from /Half-Elf Cleric/’s shoulders, where he’s been perched, and sort of waddles forward, past the begging father, and into the house, to join Christopher Robin.

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWWWWW

Dwarf Fighter: Ey he didn’t swipe the antidote from us, did he?

DM: No- no, you still got that.

Tiefling Warlock: I would’ve Eldritch Blasted his ass if he had.

Half-Elf Cleric: I think we should just give them the antidote.

DM: Like- just to clarify: the antidote is not like- a valuable thing. It’s just this one specific conconction for this particular- you won’t get more cash out of this anywhere else, nobody is gonna run up to you and go “oh, my father is in a magical coma and needs an antidote that-!” like. It’s literally worthless except for these people.

Tiefling Warlock: But we won't have to help someone pro bono.

Half-Elf Cleric: *annoyed sigh* I don’t give a damn about money.

Everyone except her: *horrified gasps*

Dwarf Fighter: … well, you guys do got a nice ass-

Everyone: WHAT

Dwarf Fighter: the donkey. You got a nice donkey.

DM: You… want the donkey.

Half-Elf Cleric: IS IT EEYORE

Everyone: YES we want the donkey.

DM: … The man looks at the donkey and then at you, and he goes “I- If it is a trade between the life of my son and my donkey, it’s- then it’s yours.” And- and Eeyore looks up at you all-

Everyone: YES IT’S EEYORE

DM: -and he goes “I figured I was going to get sold anyway…”

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWW

DM: and the farmer goes “AAA” cus he didn’t know he had a talking donkey

Dwarf Fighter: eyy hasn’t he seen Shrek talking donkeys means cash

DM: yeah well that doesn’t matter now cus he’s giving him to you guys

Dwarf Fighter: right you are

DM: and the man unties Eeyore and he sighs deeply and he goes “this surely won’t make things easier for us… but in exchange for my son… *sigh*”

Tiefling and Dwarf: oh stop moping around jesus hell

Half-Elf Cleric: EYY if I have a ‘set of commoners clothes’ can i give them to them cus they look poor right

DM: I guess

Half-Elf Cleric: EYYYYYYYYYYYY

DM: but then you’d be naked

Half-Elf Cleric: NÄÄÄIJ in that case fuck it you don’t get shit i’m sorry i tried

DM: -and you just start taking of your clothes to give them to the man, but you realise halfway through what you’re doing and you get dressed again

Tiefling: cover yourself, woman

DM: so- let me get this straight. You guys literally have a box on wheels that you pull along with you, and it is filled… with the golden heads of a pair of statues AND YOU WANNA TAKE THIS POOR FAMILYS DONKEY.

Tiefling: survival of the fittest, honey *grabs rope with Eeyore on the other end*

-they go inside and give Christopher Robin the antidote-

Christopher Robin: what the fuck

DM: And the family all rejoice at the awakening of their son, and they turn and thank you, and they’re in the middle of hugging you all when the farmer murmurs “They… they took the donkey.” and the whole family just. Goes quiet-

Dwarf Fighter: fucking tattletale?

DM: - and the mother sort of sinks down on her chair and she whisperes “How will we surviv-”

Tiefling: Oh for fucks- “look, woman, if you don’t shut up I’ll Eldritch Blast your ass-”

Half-Elf Cleric: “HEY WHAT”

DM: The woman gasps loudly and pales-

Dwarf Fighter: “Yo what’s the problem don’t you want a talking donkey”

Half-Elf Cleric: “I meant the whole threatening to KILL HER actually”

Tiefling: “I wasn’t threatening her, I was just stating a fact”

DM: That if she wouldn’t shut up you’d kill her?

Tiefling: It’s a very known fact.

DM: Winnie the Pooh is looking at Christopher Robin with such glee; it’s really indescribable how happy he’s looking, and he’s hopping around happily and he’s climbing up on the bed to give him a big old hug, and Christopher Robin, he goes- “What the- could you guys like take the bear away from me.”

Everyone: “WHAT”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Isn’t he like with you?”

Christopher Robin: “Wh- no? I just went into the woods and he just came up to me, and I found this ruin and he just followed me? And then I got stung by something and that’s all I remember? Could you like take him away he’s a bit creepy. And why is he pink?”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Well uhh he’s yours now. You don’t have a donkey anymore, so-”

DM: And this sorta comes as news to him cus when the father told the fam he had just woken up so he was a bit disoriented so now he goes “Wh-Why is-? What happened to our donkey?” And the father, he goes “Well, son, it was their demand to give you the antidote… and-”

Tiefling: “By the way… can we get this transaction on paper?”

DM: - and the boy turns to you incredulously, and he goes “But-! You can’t! We need that donkey, without it we’ll die!”

Dwarf: “You’re young and strong, boy, time to saddle up.”

Tiefling: “You got a bear now.”

DM: - And Christopher Robin starts to cry too, and he goes “You might’ve saved our lives, but you’ve killed our family-”

Dwarf: “Anywho, gots to go.”

DM: So, you go to leave the shedlike home, and the athmostphere is next to devastated-

Dwarf: “Okay, okay, I ain’t okay with this. We go here and save your life, and you guys are devastated? Really?”

Tiefling: “I agree entirely. Ungrateful runt.”

Cleric: “I-”

DM: “And Chrisopher Robin slams the door in your face.”

Cleric: “No, I was- I was gonna whisper to him “I didn’t want this, I wanted to let you have it for free-”

DM: -Okay, so you whisper that, and he just stares you down, and he shakes his head, and tears are falling down, and he just spits out “You’re just as bad as them for letting it happen anyway,” and he throws the door shut in front of your face after doing that.

Cleric: “GODDAMNIT”

DM: okay so like just to state- like, you guys are super welcome to just. give them something on your own accord, like, out of your own pocket, you picked up som gold in that temple, so if you want to-

Cleric: I WANNA GIVE THEM 100 GP

Tiefling: WHAT “NO, NO, DON’T” ok so I try to pursuade /cleric/ not to do it.

DM: You- you can’t roll to make another player do stuff they don’t wanna do.

Tiefling: Okay, uh “Hey, /cleric/. Don’t do it.” There, you’re pursuaded.

Cleric: … yeah, nah. I give them the gold.

DM: So- you hammer on the door and you shout “I GOT GOLD FOR YOU” or something like that, and Christopher Robin opens the door, and once he sees the gold you’re extending, he- he is so happy. He takes the gold and he goes to hug you, and the entire family comes out and does the same, they can buy like 3 donkeys now i dunno how GP works in dnd yet uhhh so-

Tiefling: Fuck this, I eldritch blast Christopher Robin.

Cleric: NO YOU DON’T i stand in the way.

DM: -Fine? Uh, roll an attack roll.

Tiefling: Twelve.

DM: You miss. You hit the ground.

Tiefling: … don’t I hit the house at least?

DM: NO YOU- WHY DO YOU WANT TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

 Cleric: WHY WOULD YOU STILL ROLL WHEN I WAS STANING IN THE WAY- YOU TRIED TO KILL ME

Ranger: All of this for a donkey

DM: Nah, dude, you got the donkey. This is because /Cleric/ gave them 100 GP

Ranger: Oh okay

Dwarf: Yeah, but they’re super ungrateful. Bastards.

Cleric: Yeah but we can’t KILL THEM for that??

DM: so the family, they- after the attempted murder, they run back into the house. 

Dwarf: Did they take the gold?

DM: Yeah.

Dwarf: Rat bastards.

DM: Does /Tiefling/ want to keep his spree of ‘teaching people some manners’ going or?

Tiefling: Nahhh. But he does cast sleep on /Cleric/ cus he’s pissed.

Cleric: haHA i’m a half elf and I can’t be magically put to sleep!

Tiefling: Nvm then I’m tired.

DM: So- you guys walk away from the house, and just for a moment you hear the door opening and then quickly closing-

Ranger: No

DM: -and you turn, and- Winnie the Pooh has been tossed out of the house.

Dwarf: THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT when Njord taketh a donkey he giveth thee an illuminescent bear, and they just TOSS HIM OUT

DM: - and Winne the Pooh sits on the ground very- very sadly. Had he had tear ducts, he would cry a single tear. He is on the ground-

Ranger: Still pink?

DM: Still pink.

Cleric: :’(

Ranger: ugh FINE let’s take him with us.

DM: You go and pick him up, and he is so happy. So, so happy.

Dwarf: what are we, collecting Winnie the Pooh characters?

DM: He’s on /clerics/ shoulder again-

Tiefling: Can’t we put him on Eeyores back?

Dwarf: Can’t we put EEYORE on WINNIE THE POOH’s back?

DM: You put Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh back, and you now have a donkey on top of a bear on the ground. They are not moving.

Cleric: Oh dear.

DM: And Eeyore sighs and goes “I knew I’d be too heavy”

Everyone: “AWWWWWW”

Fanon Captain Phasma: PhasMom, remembers the names of all her stormtroopers, a nice and caring person, friends with Kylo Ren and General Hux, only wants the best for you.

Canon Captain Phasma: Straight up burned down a village in the first 5 minutes of the movie, is jacked, wears armor plated with the melted down hull of the ship belonging to the former emperor/dictator that was totally up for genocide all the time, a person she idolizes

Originally posted by eclecticsanonymous

So I’m at that scene in book 2 when Neil is going off on Andrew at Exites for not caring about himself or wanting to save himself, you know, right before The Moment of Intense UST? Anyway that triggered the memory of Andrew’s ‘this could be a problem’ moment from Nora’s extra content so I went to look for it and this is what it says: “The first time Andrew saw Neil without his medication blurring his judgment, he thought, This could be a problem, but he did not take it seriously then.” And so I had my normal reaction to it (nioce, nioce) until I realized something. I’ve assumed this whole time she meant this at the start of Kings Men but it says 'THE FIRST TIME Andrew saw Neil without his medication…’ The FIRST time. Do you guys know when that was? Chapter 2. Of The Foxhole Court. Book 1. I want you to imagine Andrew Minyard waiting in that airport for Neil and seeing him for only the SECOND TIME and thinking 'this could be a problem’ Just think about the level of frustration he felt being attracted to this mysterious guy while also being incredibly suspicious of him. P L E A S E THINK ABOUT HOW NEIL WAS INTERESTING TO HIM WHEN ON THE MEDICATION AS WELL. So what I’m saying is, Andrew wanted Neil wether on the drugs or not, he found him endlessly frustrating and incredibly stupid and he liked him oh so very much and he really hated that. He never stood a chance.

So I just finished re-reading “Where There’s Smoke” by Stoney for the first time in a while and it instantly reminded me why I love that story so much.  Its so so so good - everything about it is letter perfect.  I could happily spend days lost in this world.  

Its the best combination of this:

Originally posted by chelseamcmillen

Originally posted by stopandimaginelove

Originally posted by unicornhummel

with a little of this thrown in:

Originally posted by klaine4everz

Originally posted by klainessmiles

Originally posted by protectwillbyers2k16

Originally posted by stopandimaginelove

If you haven’t read this one, go read it now.  If you’ve already read it, go read it again.  You won’t be sorry.