wanna talk about mothers

The signs as quotes from white chicks

aries : “MOVE BITCH”

taurus : “Triple T, KA. Time to totally kick ass.”

gemini: “Ohhhh you wanna talk about mothers, its mother time”

cancer : [cries] “ I can’t even wear a short skirt and a top without looking like a fat pig”

leo: “It’s not “just” a hand bag. It’s prada”

virgo: “Someone get this jiggaboo away from me”

libra: “ Making my way downtown walking fast, faces pass and I’m home bound”

scorpio: “Your mothers ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King’s about to pop out and say “Only in America!”.

sagittarius: “What’s up money? You gotta problem ? What you looking at my ass for? No yo hold my poodle , HOLD MY POODLE”

capricorn: “ Your mothers so old that her breast milk is powdered, you breastfeed like this 😚💨 ”

aquarius: “ For the lady perhaps a salad? perhaps not

pisces: “She’s having a bitch fit!”

  • Travis: I'm sorry, but uhm... we just saw your new video. Yea, they had a screening over at Saks Fifth Avenue in the security office
  • Connor: A klept-ho-maniac!
  • Michael: Your mother shops at Saks.
  • Connor: Oh my God. You want to talk about mothers? You wanna talk about mothers! It's mother time, okay! Your mother's so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a Pap smear! "Something's wrong, Dr Dre! My coochie's doing a beatbox!"
  • Michael: Well yea? Your mother's so stupid she exercises when she could just get like, liposuction or something!
  • Travis: Your mother's so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breast-feed like this:
  • [blows powder from hand]
  • Michael: Your mother is so, like... She's so... Octavian you go
  • Octavian: Your mother is so stupid that she goes to Barney's Rooftop Deck Restaurant for lunch and orders a niçoise salad and calls it a 'ni-coise' salad. 'Ni-coise' salad, right?
  • Connor: Your mother's ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, "Only in America!"
“Let’s Talk About Sex” Batboys x Batmom

Yesterday my aunt came to talk to my cousin about sex, so immediately the idea of the batmom talking about this to the boys came, so I decided to write this short story. I hope you enjoy it :)

MY MASTERLIST



Dick:


-Hey there big boy
-Hey mom
-Can we talk?
-About what?
-Well Dick, you know, as a mother I have to talk to you about…things, you know?
-I’m not getting
-It’s that kind of conversation you know?
-What conversation mom?
-About sex
-What? Don’t you think I’m too old to this? Save this to Damian
-But I feel I have to do this
-Mom, I think I know everything I need to know about sex
-I know, but…
-Mom, seriously, we don’t have to do this
-Alright
-Good
-But tell me, how’s your sexual life?
-Oh my God mother, you’re making weird. Bye


Jason:

-Jay, can we talk?
-About what?
-About sex
-What the heck?
-Sit down
-No!
-What? Why?
-I’m not gonna talk about sex with my mother
-Do you prefer your father?
-I prefer not to have this conversation
-But son, this is so important, you have to know things
-I know things mom, I see things
-Do you mean porn?
-No!
-…
-Yes! but mom, trust me, we don’t have to do this, it’s so embarrassing. Besides, I’m not a kid anymore, go talk about that with Timmy and the demon spwan



Tim:

-Hello mom!
-Hey Timbers
-Jay said you wanna talk to me
-Yes, sit down
-Something happened?
-No
-You wanna talk about what?
-Well, about sex
-What?
-As a mother…
-Don’t even start
-Tim, it’s important for you to know
-No, it’s not
-Yes it is, you’re becoming a man now and
-Mom shush
-What?
-Shush please
-Shush? I’m your damn mother, you don’t tell me to shush
-I’m sorry but I don’t wanna hear about that
-Timothy come back here
-Bye mom




Damian:

-My boy, can we talk for a second
-Sure mom
-Let’s have a sit
-You want to talk about what?
-I have to have this conversation with you, you see, you’re growing up, soon you will hit the puberty and I thought…
-Don’t
-What?
-Don’t say anything else mom
-What? Wait, we’re you going?
-I don’t wanna talk about that
-Damian, come back, we have to
-No
-Damian!
-No way mom
-DAMIAN WAYNE
-Goodbye


Chatting with Crowley #1

Fandom: Supernatural

Warnings: brief mention of a dead body.

Wordcount: 520

[Masterlist]

I’ll be forever thankful to my lovely beta, Dyenya

Gif does not belong to me.


“Hello, darling.”

The all-to-familiar voice erupts behind you without any prior warning. You would have jumped on your stool had you not been as drunk as you were. Instead, you just snarled something obscure under your breath, not bothering to even look behind you.

“I missed you just as much, believe me.” the notorious King of Hell sits down next to you, ignoring the bartender’s questioning look as when he catches sight of the unfamiliar glass of whiskey nursed Crowley’s hands.

“I never pegged you as one to be so clingy,” you teased, taking a sip of the cheap liquor in your own glass.

“Touche. But things change when you’ve got work to do.”

“Don’t you even start on work,” you warned him, growing even more gloomy than you already were. “I’m busy and I have no intention of helping you with any of your mess.”

He grew silent, you almost believed for a moment he’d vanish and annoy someone else.

“Bad hunt?” he asked, though without his usual cockiness.

“Yeah,” you sighed deeply, rubbing the bags under your red eyes. You would kill for a few hours of sleep, but the images that appear every time you closed your eyes were still too fresh, too haunting for sleep to even be a possibility. You can still remember the metallic smell of rotten flesh that days earlier was one of the children you swore you were gonna return to their mother…

“You wanna talk about it?”

You raised your head, not believing what you heard. He looked back at you, lifting one brow waiting for your response.

“Your eyes are so hazel, it’s almost impossible. Are you wearing lenses?” you blurt out dreamily, half-drunk and only centimeters away from the demon.

He chuckled and for a few moments, there were no words between the two of you but the ones sang in the background of the bar. You seemed to already forget what happened, drifting elsewhere into the heavy, warm sleep. Crowley took your glass and set it aside before you spilled the rest of your drink on yourself. You didn’t even notice.

“This isn’t the best place to fall asleep,” he spotted, poking you gently. You stirred, yawning widely.

“I’m a bit short of money, so if you don’t borrow me some, I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“I thought you had quite a lot from your last hunt.”

“Yeah, but I left them in the car.”

“And the car is…?”

“In the lake. It had a ghoul in it.”

“Last time I checked, wild ghouls don’t appear out of nowhere.”

“Well, sometimes they do. Especially when you don’t run as fast as you think you do.”

He barely held back a snort of laughter, but you noticed it and cracked a small smile. He wasn’t as bad as he liked to pretend.

“So, I suppose you wouldn’t mind a small lift to a hotel room free of charge?”

“Right now? Not at all. But don’t tell the boys I had a chance to kill you and was too drunk to even try.”

“Promise.”


I hope you liked it. Let me know your opinion.

Mass Effect 1 - a (not so) short summary
  • Anderson: this is a routine mission
  • Shepard: why there is a badass turian spectre with us then?
  • Anderson: dang you got me this is actually the beginning of a 3 games hell
  • ---
  • Nihlus: I work better alone
  • Nihlus: *dies*
  • Jenkins: yooo I'm all pumped up let's go kick some asses you'll be proud of me commander you'll see
  • Jenkins: *dies*
  • Shepard: this shitty game started like 20 minutes ago and 2 people died already
  • Shepard: well I'm sure there will be no more deaths afterward
  • ---
  • Ashley: look at my white and pink armor
  • Shepard: girl it's blue and black
  • Kaidan: are you 2 bitches blind it's fucking gold and white
  • Anderson: move your fat asses you fashion-tard twats
  • Anderson: it's brown and green to me tho
  • ---
  • Shepard: Kaidan what is that
  • Kaidan: it's an ugly sack of living gas
  • Shepard: no shit I'm talking about that big ass ship-shaped thing in the sky
  • Ashley: crap look at those blue mutant fuckers
  • Kaidan: are those geths?!
  • Shepard: what is this nightmare it's just half an hour gameplay and we are already in a pool full of shit
  • ---
  • Kaidan: what is this artifact
  • Ashley: it seems prothen
  • Shepard: it seems dangerous
  • Kaidan: yeah you're right better touch it
  • Kaidan: *touches it* fuCK
  • Shepard: Kaidan you fuckhead get out of-WHAT THE SHET
  • Ashley: jesus christ let's get out of here I gotta save my orange and grey armor
  • ---
  • Shepard: *wakes up on the Normandy* where am I
  • Chakwas: on the Normandy read the previous line
  • Shepard: are you drunk
  • Chakwas: yes
  • Shepard: cool where is Anderson
  • Chakwas: on the Normandy
  • Shepard: shut
  • Anderson: Sheppy we are fucked let's go to the Citadel the council will surely help us
  • ---
  • Udina: Saren is evil
  • Council: OMG Saren is that tru
  • Saren: nah
  • Council: human bitches stop wasting our time you can all go fuck an Elcor
  • Shepard: nice what now
  • ---
  • Garrus: hello yes I'm the very reason of the tears of thousands of fan girls I can help
  • Shepard: I can't romance you in this game tho
  • Garrus: yeah too bad we will recover in the next 2 games don't worry
  • Garrus: anyway Saren is evil
  • Shepard: I knew it do you got some evidence?
  • Garrus: my sexyness is the only evidence you need
  • ---
  • Wrex: shepard
  • Shepard: who are you and what do you want
  • Wrex: shepard
  • Shepard: alright join my squad
  • ---
  • Tali: Saren is evil I got evidence
  • Shepard: dang are you some kind of Assassin's Creed character from the future
  • Tali: rude
  • ---
  • Shepard: here the proof that Saren is a motherfucker
  • Council: yeah well solve it by yourself 'cause where not doing shit
  • Anderson: listen here you narcissist bugs
  • Council: Shepard we declare you first human spectre
  • Shepard: nice
  • ---
  • Anderson: so take my ship you're the boss now
  • Shepard: well thank you what are you gonna do
  • Anderson: absolutely nothing thanks for asking
  • ---
  • Joker: so we can go rescue an asari bitch if you want she has information I think
  • Shepard: why you so mean
  • Joker: I have crystal bones
  • ---
  • Liara: OMG free me I love you
  • Shepard: chill
  • Liara: thanks for saving me let's have sex
  • Shepard: you're welcome but slow down like for real
  • Liara: I'm sorry I will beg for forgiveness by having your babies
  • Shepard: girl
  • ---
  • Liara: ah here we are in Noveria seems like a nice planet isn't it
  • Benezia: I'm fundamentally good but I'll try to kill you anyway
  • Shepard: not if I'll kill you first biatch
  • Benezia: *dies*
  • Liara: mother no
  • Shepard: I'm sorry do you wanna talk about it
  • Liara: yes let's talk about this naked in your cabin
  • Rachni Queen: free me
  • Shepard: holy shit a shiny parasect
  • Garrus: Shepard that's the Rachni Queen
  • Shepard: where's my pokeball
  • ---
  • Shepard: next destination: Virmire. I'm sure everything will be just fine
  • Shepard: nope
  • Player: nope
  • Everyone: nope
  • ---
  • Shepard: fuck you know what? Enough with these shit let's go kill Saren
  • Saren: come and get it punk
  • Shepard: damn where did he go
  • Anderson: Shepshit the citadel is under attack by Saren and the Sovereign get you ass here and fight
  • Anderson: also the council is under attack do you want to save them?
  • Shepard: they're just a bunch of assholes they did nothing to help us those useless sluts
  • Shepard: yeah let's save them
  • ---
  • Shepard: Saren you son of a cockroach stop this nonsense
  • Saren: sorry bae *shoots himself*
  • Shepard: shit that worked we won
  • Saren: *turns into a powerful undead nightmare controlled by Sovereign*
  • Shepard: are you kidding me
  • ---
  • Anderson: yooo you did it child
  • Council: yeah thanks I guess now humans will have a seat in the council
  • Council: who will become the new human ambassador? Shepard you decide
  • Udina: choose me
  • Anderson: don't choose me
  • Shepard: I choose Anderson
  • Anderson: son of varren

I wanna talk about a Kaikaina Grif who isn’t as shallow of a character as she was made to seem in cannon. I wanna talk about the Kaikaina Grif who lost her mother at a young age. The Kaikaina Grif who grew up colourblind. The Kaikaina Grif who was never really good at anything useful. The Kaikaina Grif who loves sex and alcohol and parties, and throws a big “F U” to anyone who thinks less of her because of it. The Kaikaina with big boobs and huge thighs, who’s chubby and sexy and knows it. The Kaikaina Grif who’s into boys and girls and nb peeps because as long as you’re good with your tongue and dtf gender doesn’t matter. 

I wanna talk about Grif sibling headcannons. Big brother Dexter stepping in as a parental figure when their mother left. Dexter talking to a young Kaikaina about colours; Describing them with emotions and feelings so she can understand them better. Dexter teaching a young Kaikaina the limited amount of Hawaiian he knows, and singing her songs, and making sure she knows her roots. Dexter learning how to dye/style hair, coordinate outfits, and keeping up with fashion trends so his little sister wont feel insecure about her appearance. A Dexter who will beat the living hell out of anyone who talks shit about his sister’s sex life, and a Kaikaina who will kick the dick/punch the tit of anyone who talks shit about her brother’s weight. A pair of scary Grif siblings who will both beat your ass if you talk shit about their ethnicity. 

I wanna talk about Kaikaina coming back to Blue Team. Imagine Her reaction when she finds out the cop is now the team leader. Imagine her slowly warming up to Wash, and finally deciding he’s pretty cool (for a cop). Imagine Kaikaina flirting with a flustered Washington. Imagine her relationship with Tucker that consists of mostly casual sex, dirty jokes, high fives, and good vibes. Imagine Kaikaina talking to Caboose, and becoming best friends with him, because she’s such a friendly person and he’s so non-judgmental. Imagine Kaikaina seeing Freckles and saying “You guys guys have a dog that looks like a gun?!” Imagine her meeting Carolina and absolutely loving that there’s another girl on the team. Imaging Kaikaina and Carolina talking about girl stuff and bonding. (Bonus: imagine Carolina making her first real female friend in Kai.) Imagine Kaikaina and Church being super awkward, since he doesn’t really know how to talk to her, and she doesn’t really understand the whole AI thing, but she’s not as annoying as Caboose and robots are pretty cool. 

On the topic of Kaikaina coming back, I wanna talk about Kaikaina visiting Red Team. Imagine her only calling Grif by his first name and how salty it makes him. Imagine Sarge raving about Blue Team sending over spies and telling her not to come back. Imagine her calling Sarge old and gross and coming back anyway. Imagine Simmions stuttering and stumbling over his words whenever she’s around. Imagine Kaikaina flirting with a flustered SImmions. Imagine Kaikaina not knowing the difference between pink and lightish red, so she totally believes Donut when he says they’re different. Imagine Kaikaina making an attempt to learn Spanish for Lopez, and developing a Donut level comprehension of it. Imagine Lopez warming up to her because she’s the only one who tried. Imagine Kaikaina just being friends with everyone because that’s just how she roles. 

I just wanna talk about Kaikaina Grif forever, because she deserves so so so much more than what she’s been given in the show, and she has so much potential for greatness. 

Joe Sugg imagine || Girlfriend or Best friend? Part: 2 ||

Part I: Joe Sugg : Girlfriend or Best friend?

- - -

“Hi Kids!” You heard your mother call from the kitchen of the house as you opened and closed the door, kicking off your shoes and throwing your school bag down on the bench by the door. “It’s just me, mom.” You knew you’d have to announce it was just yourself eventually. You were still angry but it was slowly fading into sadness and you knew you weren’t going to be able to control the tears when they finally started to fall.

“Oh?” Your mom sounded confused as you made your way to the kitchen, “is Joe coming later? He knows it’s Wednesday, right?” She questioned you as she seen you enter the kitchen. “No… He isn’t coming.” You muttered.

“What’s the matter? Awh is Joe poorly?” She asked you and you shook your head. “No. He isn’t.” You played with some crumbs on the kitchen counter, “well… Why isn’t he here? His family is okay right?” She asked suddenly and you nodded. “They’re fine mom.” You cleared your throat, “Joe… He isn’t coming tonight or … Ever again for that matter.” You whispered, your mother dropped the spoon she was using to stir and it clanged hitting against the stove top. “Pardon?” She asked in shock of your statement.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, please.” You pleaded with her and she turned away from the stove to look at you wiping her hands on her apron. “What’s going on?” She looked over you with concern in her eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it either.” You added.

You watched as your mother gave you a serious expression and her tone matched it; “you listen here young lady. You aren’t just telling me the boy you’ve been best friends with since you were babies isn’t coming ‘round anymore without an explanation. So you tell me right now, what has happened?” She had her hands on her hips and I sighed slowly, looking at the kitchens tilted flooring. 

“Linda fucking happened, Linda.” You whispered. You didn’t normally swear around your parents out of respect but in the moment you just spoke how you felt and a swear word was perfect.

“Joe’s girlfriend?” She sounded shocked, overlooking your swear. “Yeah, her.” You felt the anger bubbling up again.

“What happened?” She asked. “He chose her, mom.” You glanced up at her, the whole scene after school replaying in your mind vividly. “(Y/N) you need to explain this better.” She said lowly. “Linda told Joe he needed to choose between her and me and he chose her.” You glanced at her and could feel the tears started to well up and blur your vision.

“What?” You mom asked in just as much shock as before. “Oh honey, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He’s probably trying to think of a way to apologise to you right now.” She nodded.

“Mom.” You felt your voice cracking as you went to speak; “I confronted him outside after school. He wouldn’t answer me or even look at me… He only finally told me it was true he chose her was after I snapped at him.” You started to cry and your mother rushed over to you, wrapping her arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace. “Oh honey.” She said soothingly, rubbing your back.

Standing still, you cried against your mother for a while before you sniffed trying to compose yourself again. “I’m not really hungry… I’m just gonna go do my homework…” You pulled away from her and dried your eyes you headed upstairs without your school bag before she could say anything to you…

~ Zoes P.O.V. ~

Sat in the living room on the floor, I was doing my History homework at the coffee table, looking from my text book to my notebook and back writing the answers to questions as the phone started to ring. “Mom!” I called a little too lazy and in the homework zone to get up and answer it. “Got it.” I hear her sing as the ringing stopped and she answered with a cheerful; “hello!”

I didn’t pay much attention to the conversation until I heard; “He did what?” And my ears perked a little, wondering what trouble Joe was getting in over the phone. Probably our neighbour calling to complain Joe would always step on her flowers when playing football on the road.

“Oh (Y/Moms/N), I can’t believe that, I’m so sorry.” I heard my mother apologising and I got concerned. “I can’t believe him.” She continued and I closed my homework crawling across the living room floor to catch more of the conversation going on through the kitchen wall.

“Oh, no I’m glad you called… I’m going to give that boy a serious talking to.” She said and I wondered what could have possibly happened. Mom and (Y/Moms/N) often were apologising to other peoples parents, but never to each other.

I heard the phone hang up and I stood up, walking into the kitchen.

“What was that about?” I couldn’t help but ask, seeing my mom rubbing her forehead. “Oh your thick skulled brother.” She sighed and I nodded. “Yeah… But what?” I wondered more. “Oh that Linda.” She sounded annoyed and my eyebrows knitted together. “His girlfriend? But weren’t you just speaking to (Y/N)’s mom?” I was now dying to know what was going on. 

“Yes… Apparently today at school Linda told Joe he had to pick between her or (Y/N) and Joe picked Linda.” My mother shook her head not understanding why and I felt my jaw drop a little. “Are you kidding me?” I couldn’t believe it and she looked at me. “Afraid not Zo. Poor (Y/N) is just beside herself. Something wrong with that boy.” I could tell she was angry but trying to play it down.

“He deserved a good slap.” I nodded and my mom breathlessly laughed. “He sure does. I’m going to speak to him but first I’m going to talk to your father.” She looked toward the back yard where dad was. “Okay.” I felt so bad for (Y/N) and angry at Joe…

… I walked upstairs after mom went outside and I walked into Joe’s bedroom. “HEY!” He said as I didn’t knock he looked up from his phone and his face went from annoyed to blank. “What?” He asked.

I shook my head in disgust at him. “What the hell is the matter with you?” I asked sharply and he looked around the room. “Nothing?” He didn’t look sure.

“(Y/N).” I said her name seriously and his expression completely changed. “How do you … Know about that?” He whispered and I raised my eyebrow. “(Y/Moms/N) called mom and told her what you did.” I crossed my arms over my chest and his eyes went wide.

“I…” He trailed off. “I can’t believe you picked your girlfriend of six months over your best friends of years.” I snapped. While (Y/N) and I didn’t spend a lot of time together, we were still friends and I was outraged with my brother. “Zoe it’s complicated.” He tried telling me and I didn’t buy it at all.

“No, no it isn’t Joe when your nutcase of a girlfriend starts telling you to pick between her and your friends, you dump the bitch.” I pointed out darkly.

“I didn’t know what to say Zoe.” Joe looked down at his hands. “I just… I wanted to keep her happy and not cause a scene in the middle of the hall at school.” He muttered.

“Screw if she is happy or not, Joe – you’re best friend isn’t. Well, I wouldn’t call her your best friend anymore.” I corrected myself and he looked back up in my direction. “I’ll tell her I’m sorry.” He nodded and I scoffed. “Do you think, a simply apology is going to solve everything, Joe? Are you that brain dead?” I asked him, “why there was ever a hesitation in your mind on picking Linda or (Y/N) is beyond me.” I continued lecturing him.

“She’ll forgive me.” He nodded and I laughed in his face at his statement which made him look nervous. “You fucked up.” I pointed at him, “she might have forgiven you for a lot of crap but this, this definitely takes the cake. You can’t just say you’re sorry and expect things to go back to normal Joe.”

“I know, Zoe, okay – I royally fucked up, alright? What else do you want me to say?” He snapped back a little bit. “I know I did. I don’t need you lecturing me about what I did wrong. I know what I did wrong and now I have to try to fix it.” He rubbed his forehead.

“I don’t feel one bit of sympathy for you over this, you know that? You brought this all on yourself and even if she forgives you for being an idiot… Things wont be the same, you broke a trust Joe… Something you both worked at creating for years and you completely wrecked it in an afternoon.”

“I GET IT ZOE!” He finally yelled at me standing up and looking at me when a serious face. “NO! You don’t because you think you can just go say you’re sorry and everything will be okay! You haven’t realised exactly how badly you fucked everything up and I don’t think you will until it finally hits you that you don’t have your best friend anymore.” I said. “You don’t have your rock, your go-to person to fall back on.” I pointed out.

“Stop.” Joe whispered. “You have a mostly crazy girlfriend who can’t keep an intelligent conversation going… Good luck trying to talk to her about anything, good luck getting her to take the fall for you when you do something stupid.” I shook my head at him and I went to say more but I stopped, seeing Joe had started to cry.

“… Joe.” I muttered, recalling five minutes ago telling him I had no sympathy for him, but seeing my little brother crying gutted me a little bit. “Zoe, I fucked up so bad and I'unno what to do.” He whispered coming up to me with his arms extended. “Oh christ.” I whispered, wrapping my arms around him tightly and hugging him…

4 Months

Happy Wednesday everyone! Wednesday is Pregnant Amelia Day so…here we go. When I started writing this I wanted to make it no more than two pages long. Don’t ask me how it ended up being longer than five…


Other months: 3 Months 


He woke up to the feeling of his wife’s soft lips against his neck, trailing kisses down his chest, stomach, and going slowly downwards.

“Amelia…” He warned her. “What are you doing?”

Without taking her mouth away, she whispered “What does it look like?”

The manly part of his brain sighed in appreciation when her hands tugged at the elastic of his pajama pants. Two and half months without sex was torture for any sane human being, but if your wife was as tempting as Amelia was, the torture was a thousand times worse.

Luckily for him –and much to her disappointment- Owen’s fatherly side of his brain gained terrain, and stopped her hands from continuing their journey.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

kinstuck asks, hmmmmm? wanna talk about porrim's relationship with her mother at all? :D

Porrims relationship with her mother Dolorosa is very loving and warm, but they just don’t understand eachother at all. They’re both liberal feminists who are very generous and want to help people, but Dolorosa is Muslim and a very practical and reserved woman, whereas Porrim converted to Paganism, which put a strain on their relationship for a while, and got a whole ton of tattoos and moved out on her own and now dates all sorts of people Dolorosa doesn’t approve of… Dolorosa worries about her a lot.

They have a lot of debates about her lifestyle but at the end of the day they love eachother and Dolorosa wont let anyone say a word against her daughter, no matter what differences they have.

White Chicks sentence meme
  • "Oh, this is some Jerry Springer shit!"
  • "Oh my God. You want to talk about mothers? You wanna talk about mothers? It's mother time, okay!"
  • "Jesus, lady! All this for just a hand bag?"
  • "It's not "just" a hand bag. It's Prada!"
  • "First of all my doctor totally messes up my nose job. I ask him to make me looked like Gwyneth Paltrow, I get off the surgery table looking life freakin' Shrek."
  • "Oh, my God, she's gonna have a bitch fit!"
  • "I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I'm gonna write a letter!"
  • "You are in big trouble!"
  • "Don't "hey, ___" me. I can't believe you have me sitting here all night worried about you."
  • "You know what? I ain't going to deal with this. I'm tired, okay? I had a long day at work."
  • "I am so fricking pissed!"
  • "Oh, the deception! The betrayal! Man, you deceived me!"
  • ""We?" ____, this ain't about "we." It's never been. It's about you. You come up with some stupid idea and I'm dumb enough to go along with it. And look where its gotten me."
  • "She don't know it yet, but that's 'Wifey' right there."
  • " Take good care of him. Oh, and teach him how to say "Yo quiero Taco Bell". 'Kay?"
  • "How did you know? I love this song!"
  • "Triple t, k, a. Time to totally kick ass!"
  • "You hit like a bitch!"
  • "Who do you work for?"

Ok so I’ve never been a fan of Flat Characters, but there’s one that I feel that is so perfect with his role of the never changing character that I just can’t rn

THIS MOTHER FUCKER

We wanna talk about great acting I love Flich. Sure he was an ass of a character but funny if you think about it

lol wtf is that 

dancing with the cat haha

STUDENTS OUT OF BED lol i just love this character

eww

And I dont know if a lot of peopl have noticed this but look in the back ground of the cute Romione moment

He’s sweeping!!!

The battle literally just ended and he’s already cleaning it up

He was a fantastic character and no one can tell me other wise