wanna say goodbye

Walking away from you was harder than I ever thought it would be. All I wanted to do was hold on to you and never let go. Sadly, I had no choice but to leave..
—  L.N. | losing you

mmo boys interactions for anon ✩


favorite pride and prejudice quotes

How Dean should come out on the Show...

I daydreamed this up at work whilst evidently not working and wanted to share it with you… If only I could pitch it to Andrew Dabb…

Okay so picture the scene. A generic MOTW episode with Sam and Dean and no Cas because he is off hunting Lucifer apparently (though since this is MY episode idea instead I am gonna say that the only reason Cas is sitting this one out is because he is currently visiting Claire and Jody for some R&R and the bros are stopping off to deal with this very minor hunt on the way to meet him and the girls. So THERE BOB SINGER.)

Anyway. The hunt is pretty straightforward, its either a Vamp, a standard salt and burn or I dunno, a Rugaru whatever you feel like. The monster isn’t important. What is important is that this is a DEAN centric episode.They roll up into this sleepy little mountain town somewhere in Colorado (or wherever, location isn’t important either) and go to interview the first witness. 

The first witness is a guy in his late thirties who clearly used to be a looker but the years have been hard on him. He can be anyone you wanna imagine. (preferably for me I’d say he’s dark haired and blue eyed but that’s my own preference *wink wink*.) the guy immediately recognises Dean. There goes the FBI cover story. Dean is completely taken back by this guy and gets kinda goofy around him much to Sam’s surprise and amusement. The guy (we’ll call him Jake) is really happy to see Dean and starts talking about how long it’s been and how he thought he’d never see him again after Dean left town. There is clearly a back story here hence why we get a nice close up shot of Dean’s face looking all sad and reminiscing before we cut to…

Young Dean, about 17 years old (played by Dylan Everett of course) is in the town with his dad and Sam whilst his dad deals with another hunt and he is skipping school. Through some consequence or another, Dean meets the younger version of Jake and they become friends. 

Throughout the episode, the story skips between the past and the present showing just how close Dean and Jake became as teenagers, though the subtext is obvious, the audience is still completely oblivious and thinks they are just friends. In the present time, Dean is obviously awkward around Jake and Sam continuously teases him and tries to get more info out of him about him and Jake’s past, since Dean never mentioned him to Sam. Jake outs himself as gay/bi pretty early in the episode in a similar way to how Jenna did in 11x02. It is never focused on, just mentioned in a passing comment about his “ex boyfriend” or something. No one even raises an eyebrow of course.

Jake either already knows they are hunters (maybe his family were the victims of whatever John was hunting in the past) or maybe he only found out now because he was a witness to the present day monster (or maybe the two monsters are connected who knows) but Jake is determined to help the boys in the case in present day. This leads to him getting hurt bad (maybe he dies but I hate that trope with a passion so since this is my story and not Bucklemmings the gay guy LIVES.) Dean is pretty broken up about it. He goes on about never bringing people with them into the hunt and how dangerous their lives are and this is why they can’t have relationships. Sam raises his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything. The Drs confirm that Jake will be okay but he is sleeping and Dean can’t deal with it. He leaves the hospital with Sam on his heel and gets into the Impala. 

Sam asks why they are leaving? doesn’t Dean wanna say goodbye to his friend?

Dean just shakes his head. They ganked the monster but someone got hurt once again. Its best if Jake just forgets he ever met Dean Winchester.

We cut back to the past. Dean is upset that he has to leave another town, another school, because his dad is taking him away again. Jake comes running up to him asking him whats wrong? that its okay because they can just meet up again? He can get a bus and visit Dean where he is moving to. But Jake of course doesn’t understand Dean’s life and it just makes him more upset. The two boys hug and when they pull apart Dean takes the initiative. He kisses him. There is no ambiguity about it. It is innocent and sweet and in no way platonic. The boys relationship was more than friendship all along. When they pull apart Dean tells Jake he will miss him and then he leaves. Young Jake is left watching as young Dean walks away from him. 

We cut back to present day Dean. Sitting behind the wheel of the impala clenching his jaw. He doesn’t say anything but Sam just looks at him with a sort of pity. Sam may not know the details of what happened between them like we as the audience do, but he knows something, because Sam always knows. The impala drives off into the night and we cut to credits. 

In the next episode everything is exactly has it always has been, Cas is in the next episode and acts as he always does. Nothing else is different, but suddenly the audience has a different perspective on everything they see. Because you see, Dean Winchester kissed a boy when he was 17, and therefore Dean Winchester has been bisexual all along. Nothing has changed, and yet everything has. 



This time, I wanted to say a proper goodbye before I left.
                          Stay by my side, okay?

i can’t believe the time has actually come to say goodbye to this wonderful show. i have been ignoring the fact for the last few months, but now i guess i have to face the facts.. this show has taught me so much, especially about feminism, sexuality and identity. it’s embarrasing to admit, but before i watched this show i barely knew what feminism was. i have learned so many things by listening to what tatiana and evelyne has to say about the subject, and now i am calling myself a feminist, loud and proud! when it comes to sexuality, cosima and delphine’s relationship has taught me that it’s ok for me to like girls. it’s also ok to be attracted to both girls and boys, and it’s ok if this changes over time. the delphine quote about bisexuality made me realise that i am bi, literally that sexuality is a spectrum etc - i’ve been debating with myself for over 10 years to try to figure out why i felt the things i was feeling and now i have finally come to terms with the fact that i am bi, and that’s more than ok - it’s amazing actually! identity is such an important theme throughout this show and i’ve learned to accept myself as a complex person. i have seen parts of myself in all the leda characters and this has actually made me less judgmental - towards myself and others. it’s just something about seeing complex female characters represented in this way that the show has done, that has changed who i am as a person and how i think about others and about the world.  

not only has the show taught me all these things, but it has given me amazing friends. @thronesforclones - rachel - my first ever internet friend, i’m soo glad we started talking and that we have been friends for over 2(?) years now. thank you for all the late night chats about life, and i can’t believe we are actually meeting for the first time in just a few weeks!!! i’m beyond grateful and excited. @delphinecorniehaus - jobelle - my soul sister at the other side of the world. you are wise beyond your years my friend, and i could cry thinking about how grateful i am to be your friend and to have you in my life. one day we will meet, it’s on my bucket list u know, and its gonna happen!! @clonetcetera - ida - i’m so grateful i found you in this big internet world, we have so much in common, and im so happy to share many of my passions with you, especially dancing and musicals! you are such an amazing dancer and you have the kindest heart. you are so incredibly smart and strong and i love you. 

im also so grateful to my smart, passionate, brave and beautiful mutuals that i don’t necessarily talk to, that have been blessing my dash with textposts, gifs, photos, stunning selfies, hillarious tags and let their personality shine through in this weird tumblr universe. @delphines @niehaus @delphinesbisexual @alfred-cormier to mention a few.  

i am forever grateful that i found all of you, this show and the amazing actors that i will continue to follow and support forever💕the show might be ending but it will follow me for the rest of my life, and i know that i have been changed for good because of it. 

Don't Wanna Say Goodbye (Platonic Moxiety)

Virgil tried to be strong. He really did, but the heartache was just too great.

The day had finally arrived when Patton would have to go off to college. They were standing in their driveway, the car packed and ready to go. Their parents had already said their goodbyes and allowed Virgil to give his farewells alone.

It was silent for a few minutes. Just Virgil and Patton staring at each other. Then, Patton ran forward and hugged Virgil as tightly as he could. That’s when Virgil cracked. Within seconds, he was sobbing into Patton’s shoulder, clinging onto his older brother’s cardigan like his life depending on it.
“Don’t go… Please don’t go,” Virgil pleaded in a whisper.

“I have to, kiddo,” Patton said, pulling back, kneeling down, and cupping his 9-year-old brother’s face in his hands. Virgil shook his and buried his face into Patton’s shirt again.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Patton assured him. “We can talk on the phone every day. I won’t be completely gone.”

“But who am I gonna hug when… when I need to snuggle?” Virgil asked.

“Here,” Patton said, untying the cardigan around his neck and handing it to Virgil. “Take this and put it on one of your stuffed animals. Whenever you need to snuggle, you can hug that stuffed animal.”

“It won’t be the same,” Virgil whimpered. “I need you.”

“And I’ll be with you,” Patton claimed. “I’ll always be right here.” He poked Virgil’s chest, causing the young boy to giggle. “And you know where you’ll always be?” He shook his head. Patton smiled and pointed to his own chest. “Right here.”

Virgil gave him an doubtful look.

“And I’ll be back at Thanksgiving,” Patton offered.

“Promise?” Virgil asked.



Cat Grant Appreciation Week // Day 4: Favorite Inspiring Speech

I don’t know what to do.
What do you mean, like… like into a lake?
You’re standing on the shore, afraid to dive into the new waters, and you’re afraid because you don’t wanna say goodbye to the mild-mannered, lovelorn Kara Danvers, the sweet and dutiful assistant to Cat Grant. You are standing there looking out at your options, the icy blue water, the fast-flowing river, and the choppy sea. And they all look very appealing to you because you’re dying to go for a swim, but you know that water is going to be cold, and the journey is going to be hard, and when you reach the other side, you will have become a new person. And you are scared to meet that new version of yourself. Now, we all get used to our own personas, and we’re used to our own comfort zones.

S̺͍͉͔͉̞̪Ḁ̸̰̮͝Y̶̪ ̳͇̭͍̥̭͉ͅG̕҉̡̦̲O̤̫͖͎̗͜͞ͅÒ̴̬̠̺̪̥͉̳͉̥͝D̨̺̦̯͙͙͔̯͚͠B̸̬̻̝͉͍̻̀͝Y҉̫̝̖̹̝̠͠E̲̩͟͝ͅ

Jack heard more footsteps and suddenly his vision went black.

Through the static silence in his mind Jack heard many things.

“Don’t die on me Jack!” rang through a German accent.

“Y̨͍̺̣͍ͅo̜̣̗u̻ ̶͍̞̥̮c̠̫̝̹̘͜a͎̰̠̪n̞̼'͎͙̫̱͓͉͔t̻̘̕ s͎̲̭á̲̩͈͔̩v͕e͖̗͍͡ ͎̫͎͚̗͕h̫͈͚i̗͎̥̼̘͇m̗̲͖͈̞ͅ,” Anti hissed.

“Vatch me, you demon fucker!” the German accent yelled.


Jack pryed his eyes open and groaned, his neck burned.

“Ah, good morning, sleepy head,” the German accent smiled from the foot of Jack’s hospital bed, Jack groaned again.

“You’re lucky he didn’t damage your zrachea, got vrather close. I am Dr. Schneeplestein, your attending physician,” Scneeplestein placed Jack’s chart back on the foot of his bed, and stepped toward Jack.

Jack began to notice the room around him. Chase was passed out on the couch against the wall, Anti was hovering in the corner.

“I’ll see about getting zhis fucker,” Schneep pointed back at Anti, “removed. Look here,” Schneep held up a flashlight and checked Jack’s pupils.

“I̤͢'m̵̼ n̳̱̜̘̭̺o͚̖̩͉͔̗ͅt̪̟̩̫͟ ̼͚͔͉͚͓̲͝g̨͚o̭̪i̤ṋ̪̳͢g̕ a̴̗̯͕̩͕̞n͕̰͍͎̜͍y̯͘wh̛͔͚͇e͟r͝e,” Anti hissed.

“Fuck off,” Jack managed.

“And he can speak, lovely. Zhings are looking good. I vill check back on you every hour, and press zhis button,” Schneep held up Jack’s nurse call, “if he gives you trouble.”

“T-thank you,” Jack stammered.

Schneeplestein turned back to smile at Jack, and glared at Anti.


The next few days blurred by.

Marvin stopped by, leaving some flowers. Chase was eventually kicked out by Dr. Schneeplestein, but still visited everyday. Jack’s bandages were changed every 12 hours. It was getting easier for him to speak, and move his neck. Anti didn’t leave his corner, and only seemed to interact with the doctor. That is, until Jack finally acknowledged him again after 3 days.

“Why haven’t you tried again?” Jack asked, the room was empty, besides them, and seemed to get darker the closer to Anti you got.

“Ỳ̭͕̰ơ̤̝̟̭͓u̹ ̸͓͉̺kn̸͖͙o̟̮͘w̜̪̰ ̸̝̙̺͎͇w̠̦͞h̕y̝̹͠.”

“Despite the fact we share a brain, I’m not a mind reader, Anti. I really don’t,” Jack remarked.

“͎͕̙Ẹ̸̗͚̥͍̥̖̹̠͉͖̤͝ͅx̬͖̫̕ha̠u͏͚̭s̶̟͇t͉̮ḛ̴͔ḓ͍̯̱͕̲́,” Anti’s feet blurred a bit as he started hovering again.

“Exhausted? You mean you used all the energy you’d saved up on a suicide attempt?" 

"D̗̼͎̳̱͓i̦̦̙̗͕̱̗d̹̕n̖̤͇̼̬͍'̸̭̠̪̭̮̰̘t̷͎͖̥ ̶ge̠̖̯t̡̪̦̻̗͓ ̻̗͍e̻͈̤̰v̹̘̯͚̙e̳̪̺̟ͅr͖͇̫͉y͔̱͉̩̜͞t̸̟̰͙̞h̕i̴̟n̯̰̳̲̺̳ģ͙͎̖ ̵̟̳͉̫̼̖̞d̫̝̰̳̟̜͜o̗̰̱̦͟n̮͙̞̝͈e̸̤͖͉̦̥͎̩,” Anti glitched through the floor, but quickly glitched back to standing.

“They didn’t react as big as you assumed they would? You ran out before you finished me?" 

Anti didn’t answer.

"Couldn’t you have waited a little longer? Couldn’t you have waited and just finished me off?!” Jack yelled, tearing a few of his stiches. Schneeplestein raced in.

“Are you okay, Jack? I heard yelling. Oh, you’ve ripped your stiches,” Schneep pulled open a draw in a cart next to the bed, and pulled out some plastic packs. Jack’s neck began bleeding, again. He didn’t break eye contact with Anti until Schneep began lowering the bed.

“Okay, I’m going to have you lay down, and you vill feel pinches,” Schneep began stiching Jack back up.