walrus posts

I started writing a post about all my projects, and the new lit agency, and then I was like… who is writing this? Is it me? No it was not. The ambien walrus was writing that post. I deleted it.

the-elegant-walrus  asked:

(For winter prompt week) Natasha taking a snowball game WAY too far

Steve was taking his daily winter run through Central Park (he was a “freak like that,” as Tony put it) when a big, cold ball of snow hit him hard in the side of the head. Quickly looking around, he saw the usual few people out for a walk, plus tons of kids sledding with their parents or playing in the snow; nothing out of the ordinary. Yet by the next tree on the path, Steve noticed fresh tracks of what appeared to be of a feminine shape. Thinking nothing more of the incident, and brushing off the snowball as just part of a snowdrift falling from a nearby tree, Steve continued his run.

Two days later, Sam was trudging down Upper East Side - on his way back from a local veterans’ meeting - when he felt snow hit the back of his head and slide down his neck. Glancing around him, Sam glimpsed a streak of red before it disappeared behind the corner of a building. Chalking it up to a rude kid getting a laugh out of throwing snowballs at strangers, Sam was soon on his way again.

A week later, as Tony stepped out of his Audi in the private parking garage of Avngers Tower, he was hit straight in the chest by a perfectly-sculpted snowball. He spotted in time the retreating figure of Natasha, before she completely slinked away into the shadows.

Realizing who the culprit was behind the mystery snowball assault that the entire team (except for Natasha) had been experiencing for the past week and a half, Tony called a team meeting. Once everyone had settled, Tony announced that he knew who was dealing out the cold artillery: it was Natasha.

“Nat, you do realize that the entire point of a snowball fight is to allow your opponents to throw some back at you, right?” Clint had asked, attempting to stifle a chuckle.

Nat smiled languidly and crossed her arms, taking everyone in. “But that would be less fun.”