wallow in your shit

scallywxg  asked:

Reina: 💎

Oh Reina, I’m probably not a person for you to be asking.

   “ Hmm, your ears are one of the most adorable with how soft they are and the mane you have would shut any of my sub-species up in a real hurry with how long and silky it is. However, you are rather not well proportioned and end up being rounder than one should be and those front teeth may not be all that terribly attractive to other but they’re rather endearing to me. You also always have a pleasant scent to you, almost like you had just gotten done baking goods. I’d have to give you a 4.

Sticks and Stones

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to put up I was just so nervous to post it not to mention half way through I got busy with school and things. I’m still really worried that I didn’t show enough of the abuse or that I glorified it so if you feel that way I am sorry and please let me know and give me a few tips to fix that if you would like to. I wanted to go a different route than physical abuse because I see that touched on a lot and I hardly ever see emotional abuse at least in what I read. I hope you enjoy this was requested by @the-blue-haired-boy (Thank you for the request and for the nice things you had to say) -G

Request: Hi! I just discovered your blog and I LOVE your work! I was wondering if I could request a fic where the reader is in an abusive relationship and Bruce who has secretly loved her discovers it and helps her out of it? Thank you!

Warnings: Emotional Abuse, maybe swearing 

Originally posted by petils


It was a beautiful evening. You and your boyfriend Adam were walking on the beach, joking with each other. You were laughing and having fun, Adam may have said a few rude things to you, but you reminded yourself he was always like this, so you allowed yourself to brush his comments off.

“10 bucks says you won’t go into the ocean to get your hat,” Adam said as he swiped your favorite beanie off your head.

“Hey give it back” you protested trying to grab your hat. Adam held it high above your head as he laughed. You continued to jump to reach the navy cloth but it was too late, Adam tossed it into the water.

“You did not just do that,” you said as you stared in shock at the beanie floating in the water just out of your reach “Adam, my grandmother made that for me.”  

“Why don’t you just go get it,” Adam said a smug look on his face 

“Because I’m in a dress that cost me more than your paycheck” you practically shrieked, Adam just laughed. As you were walking home, you got a text from Tony inviting you to dinner with the Avengers. You joined the Avengers just after the events of New York and had grown close to the team especially Bruce. “Wanna go out to dinner with the Avengers?” you asked Adam 

“You and your so-called friends?” he mocked

“Yup” you answered trying not to let his comment get under your skin

Adam shrugged “why not” he replied as you lead him to the tower. 

You met briefly with the Avengers making sure to introduce them to Adam before leaving for the restaurant. Once you were seated, you began to look over the menu. Adam looked over your shoulder “what we’re you going to get” he asked 

“Uhm… chicken marsala sounds good” you replied. 

“doesn’t that have a lot of calories? I thought you were trying to lose weight not gain it?” Adam asked. 

“I wasn’t trying to lose weight” you looked at Adam confused.

“that explains a lot,” Adam said “maybe you should start” 

The Avengers stared at the two of you surprised by your interaction. They expected a snarky comeback or something about how you looked fine, but instead, they watched you nod.

“I think chicken sounds great Y/n,” Bruce commented 

“I dunno, Adam is right it’s not that healthy” you responded 

“treat yo self,” Tony said to you as a waitress came by to take your orders. Again the Avengers were surprised to hear Adam order a salad for you and you didn’t even bat an eye. You hardly ever ate just a salad for dinner and you hardly ever let someone else dictate what you should eat. They overlooked it, thinking you might not be hungry, but as the night progressed, they each grew less and less fond of Adam. The perfect man you had described to them was replaced with a complete ass. He told you were ugly, that you weren’t good enough. Of course He never directly said these things, but they were present in his tone and how he treated you. The Avengers drove Adam to his apartment per your request and took you back to the tower with them.  

“Y/n” Bruce called as you were walking to your room “can I talk to you?”

“Sure” you chirped

“Are you and Adam fighting? He said some rude things at dinner” Bruce asked hesitantly.

You shrugged “He’s always like that it’s fine, really, don’t worry about it.”

You could tell Bruce wanted to say more probably tell you this wasn’t fine and it wasn’t ok for Adam to say the things he did about you, but instead, he kept his mouth shut and invited you to lunch   

“I’ll have to ask Adam, but if he says it’s fine I’ll be there,” you replied entering your room. 


The next day Bruce waited hours for you to show up for lunch but you never came. On his way back to the lab he saw you walking out of your room.

“Hey I thought we were going to get lunch?” he asked. You hardly ever ditched without a reason

“Sorry Adam said he wanted to take me somewhere,” you said 

“You didn’t think to tell me?” Bruce asked trying to mask his annoyance

“Actually” You hesitated “Adam doesn’t want me to talk to you.” 

Bruce was stunned. How had you let this man come into your life and control you? Before he could talk to you, you were out the door and walking down the street with your so-called boyfriend.

“You’re late” Adam chastised 

“Sorry I ran into Bruce” you commented

“I thought I told you I didn’t want you talking to him” He reminded you

“He started talking to me. He’s a friend I can’t stop him from talking to me. I did tell him what you said about us hanging out, there is nothing for you to worry about.” you told him 

“You were probably really nice about it huh?” Adam asked  

“Well yeah,” you said

“You act like that, and he won’t take you seriously” he mentioned, “You’re never strong you’re always so weak and nice.”

“Sorry” You muttered. Adam continued to walk down the street and grabbed some food for himself but nothing for you. You didn’t even think to ask him for something. He’d done this before when you forgot your purse at home. He walked you back to the tower calling you an idiot and saying if you wanted something to eat you should’ve brought your money. You went straight to your room. You felt like shit, and you wanted to wallow in your worthlessness. A soft knock interrupted your sobs, and you heard Bruce call your name before opening your door.

“Hey,” he murmured “are you ok?”

“I’m not supposed to talk to you,” you said like a child to a stranger as you tried to calm your breathing 

“Y/n, you don’t mean that,” the scientist said as he moved next to you and pulled you close to him “we both know I’m not leaving till you tell me what’s wrong.” 

Your mind was racing, did Bruce really care? Why would he care you were a pathetic mess? No one should care about you, and if they did it was because they wanted something “What do you want?” you finally asked 

“For you to be ok,” Bruce said 

“And after that?” Bruce looked confused “I’m a worthless piece of shit no one wants to make sure I’m ok unless I can do something for them.” 

“Who told you that?” he asked  trying to look at your face which was tucked between your knees 

“Adam” you muttered 

“Y/n, if Adam is saying these things he doesn’t love you. He’s using you. He’s not good enough for you” Bruce spoke softly.

“And who else is there?” you asked “You really think I could get a nice guy to like me? I’m a mess, nice guys like you want someone stable. They want someone who doesn’t mess everything up; they want someone strong.”

“I can guarantee that a nice guy like me loves you” Bruce blushed “You’re not a mess, and you’re definitely not worthless. You may not be 100% stable but who is in this world? And you’re the strongest girl I’ve ever met”

“You’re just saying that,” you said 

“I’m dead serious” Bruce replied

“No you aren’t” you argued

“Y/n,” Bruce paused “you can do so much better than him you deserve better than him.”

“You keep saying that” you sighed 

“It’s true,” Bruce said as he grabbed your phone from your bedside table and handed it to you “end it.” 

“And if I don’t want to?” you asked

“I’m not in control of you, in the end, it is your decision, but I’d think you were lying if you told me you wanted to stay with Adam,” Bruce observed 

“And how do you suggest I end it,” you asked 

Bruce shrugged “You could text him or call him, whatever you feel comfortable doing.” 

You sighed and called your soon to be ex, Bruce sitting beside you the entire time for support and reassurance that you were doing the right thing. Tears were shed, and eventually, you hung up on Adam as he continued to tell you no one in their right mind would love you. Little did you know you had already found someone who did love you and would love you if you let him.


A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this fic if you want a part 2 let me know. I was thinking about writing one anyways. The next part of Operation: Save the Fairy should be coming out soon you can read the latest part here! If you have any requests, send them in! Love you all! -G

tags:  @ws-lover-245

KARKAT X READER: ONLY MINE

Karkat Vantas x Reader

Only Mine

Okay welcome to my first request here on tumblr!! I’m happy to day bue with this story actually! It was a fantastic idea and a wonderful treasure to write. Finally let’s cross this of my damn requests list !

Karkat still hasn’t forgiven me for sharing his true feelings with the internet…

it was an ordinary fucking day. You yawned and stretched and smiled to yourself as the sun began to shine in your window. Sure alternia was a fucked up place, filled with fucked up animals and people. Hell there were even plants that wanted to eat you. But you had Karkat. You stroked a hand over his shaggy hair to comfort yourself the troll’s eyes flickered open breifly before he grumbled and flopped back over onto his other side.

“Don’t fucking touch me, fuckass,” he murmured softly,

“Fuck ass… what a term of affection,” you grumbled getting up and leaving in a huff. There was never anything more lovely than your boyfriend calling you fuckass. Nothing more soothing than the troll whose supposed to be your matespirit shove off your affection as if you were nothing more than a piece of dirt. The troll who had just shagged you through the night hours until you had been too out of breath to scream and your body too weak to cum anymore.

“That’s it,” you muttered and sheer and utter fury. Your voice could barely come through. You shook in your anger… you flew about the room finding your clothes you couldn’t find the shirt you had been wearing. You remembered it has been torn apart by the over eager cancer. Growling to yourself you shimmied back into a pair of panties you were glad were still intact. Followed by your black skinny jeans. You threw on one of karkat’s t shirts, hating to be embossed with a symbol that said it was his and head for the door, you threw open the door to his hive when Karkat sat up slowly and stared at you.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going dipshit…?”  you threw you hands in the air in utter annoyance and flabbergasted horror,

“Ugh!” you gaped the word out in a clipped monotone, your voice quivering in rage. You had completely had it!

“I’m going to Gamzee’s!”

“What the fuck are you talking about you’re going to that fucker’s house? Why do you wanna spend time with that bulge banger! You’re always there! You’re hardly ever fucking here with me! Ever since we’ve been together, you’ve hardly spent time with me for shit!”

“I’m leaving Karkat… and I’m not coming back…” you didn’t even to turn to see his expression as you walked out the door and headed towards the long walk for the Capricorn’s house.

“Fuck you Karkat Vantas,” you murmured one time in a parting manner and you took off in a run for your best friend’s house.  It took longer than you liked, as it always did. It was nightfall when you reached the high blood’s house. Your feet were so tired, and your head was pounding. You thought your stomach was going to chew itself into digestible bits! But you were at Gamzee’s… that’s all that mattered.

You banged on the on the door to his hive loudly, the deep sadness settling deeper and deeper in your chest. The half stoned clown opened the door, casually his long lithe frame filled the doorway, as he settled to lean against the left side of the door jam,

“What’s up motherfuckin’ best friend…?” the rest of his sentence trailed off as tears began to stream down your face in fast order, Gamzee’s casual smile crumbled and you were quickly ensconced in long gray arms.

“Woah, my wicked sis, what’s up with all the tears…” his slender thumb swiped away the tears as his arm clutched you tight to his sleekly muscled frame. Indigo eyes blazed down at you, filled with concern and worry.

“Karkat…” you murmured before bursting into another round of tears. You were scooped up off your feet and pressed to his chest tightly, his shoulder length tangled mane of raven locks tickled your cheek as he nuzzled your shoulder. Slowly he turned and carried you inside. Kicking the door shut, he then moved and sank down onto a couch, pulling you up against him and soothingly rubbing your back.

“Just chill out best friend, it’s gonna all up and be alright, just tell this motherfucker what he did and let all that nasty feeling right out,”

“Erg,” you grunted and soothed slightly as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Just he’s.. terrible. He treats our matespritship like a god damned war! He always accuses me, always calls me these nasty names. And he’s soooo annoying about when I spend time with you! I just can’t take it anymore, Gam! He pailed me all damn night last night and scratched me to the point of pain and bruising! Then this morning I wanted to cuddle and he bitches at me not to touch him! Not to mention he destroyed my clothes!” you snapped angrily,

“I had to take one of his fucking shirts! I don’t want anything to do with this hunk of erg.. disgusting nastiness!” you growled and stripped out of it throwing it far away, only realizing then that you were seated on the Capricorn you called our best friends, his mouth was slightly agape and a delicate purple blush brightened his cheeks, his hand left you as he seized one of his shirts off the couch arm and gestured that he’d put it on. You held your arms over your head and he very ceremoniously slid his shirt onto you. His hands softly carresed your sides and back, now however, it wasn’t quite in the same way. A heat began to burn in your lower tummy as you shifted into him he leaned forward, until your forehead pressed to his.

“I know what the bro was all up and jealous…” his voice was a hot dusky whisper.

“I’ve wanted you a long time before he all up and did, I just didn’t wanna take the chill out of the three of us, so I let him.. and it was motherfucking stupid of me, seeing you here this upset, I thought he’d make you happier than me. I thought I was just a motherfucker who you know just,” he shrugged before continuing…

“But knowing that motherfucker can’t do this, can’t make you happy, that’s the only thing that makes me so fucking angry. Seeing you here, feeling you motherfuckn’ hold me and wearing my shit, is the biggest miracle I could fuckin’ ask for, I flush so hard for you,” you held your breath as he leaned close to you, it was a featherlight touch at first, as his lips pressed against yours, a million thoughts ran through your head but now there was nothing but the highblood and yourself.

“Ah,” you squeaked as you leaned into his kiss, slowly he moved his lips against yours, your hands automatically slipped onto his horns and you rubbed them slowly, earning a low growl from your best friend, the kiss deepened as his tongue began to slip past your lips and his hand slid to the back of your head pressing you close. The arm around our waist ensnared you tight to his body refusing to let you go. This was the kiss you had wanted had been waiting for.. this was all you had ever wanted from Karkat. A shameless expression of his love. Gamzee gave you everything you were missing. You closed your eyes completely, losing yourself in the heat of him, in his love.

A loud crash jerked you out of your revre, there in the doorway stood a half naked and very angry Karkat Vantas. Teeth bared, hands curled like talons.  He shook in an ominous rage. Gamzee protectively pulled you to his chest and slide you off his waist, curling to place you next to him he stood up and faced the other troll. They snarled aggressively at each other, loud feral noises ripping from their diaphragms.

“I’m not gonna motherfucking best friend you now,”

“No one asked you to fuckass! What the fucking shit cake of hell are you doing with my matespirt! Fucking trying to pail her when i’m not looking? Jegus Gamzee! It’s bad enough she always has to run to you when she’s upset and it’s like she loves you more but now what you suddenly magic shit poof love her back ! You’re not my best friend you’re just.. arg! We’re so not going to hug this one out FUCKASS!”

you watched in utter horror as Karkat shoved Gamzee and Gamzee did nothing much as flinch.

“You stupid subjugulator sissy ass nookstain!” uselessy Karkat punched at Gamzee and he put his hands on the smaller trolls shoulders and easily flipped around over in an acrobatic flowing motion to land behind him, his momentum and grip on the smaller troll propelling the cancer backwards now to land with a loud thud on the floor. The groaning mess on the floor was supposed to be your matesprit…

“You’re problem, best friend, is that you’re always all up and talking too much, you don’t know how to all up and let anyone be themselves, you’re always so fucking busy trying to tell them how to be or you’re all up and insulting their wicked shit for no good motherfucking reason. You might think, my think pan is all rotten, but at least I have a motherfuckin’ feeling or two!”

With an awful snarl Karkat was up and captchalogged his sicles. He swiped at Gamzee angrily, red tears pouring out from the corners of his balefully glaring eyes. …

“Well your problem is that you never understand shit! You don’t understand how I feel you idiotic bulge banger! You don’t understand shit what it’s like to be on your fucking own nothing but to wallow in your own self party pity mud beast pen of shit! To kick you’re coward mutant ass for no reason other than you’re not fucking good enough!”

Each tactful swipe with the blade was averted with a lithe movement, a graceful twist, an acrobatic flip or contortion, Gamzee didn’t seek to hurt him now, he was still just listening.

“Karbro, you’re motherfucking wrong. I do know what that shit is, I know what it’s like to be fucking alone. I’m the motherfucker that grew up without a lusus. Yours was with you. Mine couldn’t be fucking bothered to slam a wicked elixr and shoot the shit for a few, that fucker wouldn’t give me the time of day,”

“Fuck you, Gamzee, I just want all the attention on me! There you go fuckass, make me feel even more like shit,”

“Shut up, Karkat,” Gamzee roared, his hands shooting around his neck, and your matesprit beginning to turn a very interesting shade of gray,

Before the larger troll had anything else to say, you interjected immediately, roaring stop and throwing yourself between the two of them, you pushed your hands against Gamzee’s chest, and begged him to set down your matesprit,

“Please, Gamzee, please don’t hurt him,” large crodile like tears began to plop against the floor of the highbloods hive, slowly he set Karkat down and embraced you, once again he was wiping your tears away when you had no right to be comforted.

“You really do motherfuckin’ love him don’t you?” he shushed you calmly and smoothed your hair allowing you to sob and nod your head furiously up and down.

“Then I’m going to let you fuckin’ go,” He tilted your chin to look up at him, softly he brought his lips to yours,

“If he doesn’t love you anymore, I’ll kick his ass again for you my wicked sister, and I’ll always love you the motherfuckin’ most, Honk,” he said softly as he pinched your nose.

You ran to Karkat’s side and helped him up, dejectedly he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you began to make your way out of Gamzee’s hive and back to Karkat’s. The highblood stood in the door with a sad grin, and a lackadasical wave as you wandered back to your residence. Karkat flopped onto the couch and muttered a deep sigh.

“That was fucking horrible, I hate you both,”

Stunned by his cruel words you smacked his already sore cheek and screamed in frustration,

“Karkat Vantas, if that’s really how you feel about he, then I should go back to Gamzee, he know how to be sweet and compassionate! He honestly loves me!”

Karkat stood looking so angry it put a tremor down your spine, what he did next was an even bigger shock, he grabbed handful of your hair and pulled you close, kissing you roughly, hotly, just as passionately as Gamzee, with that same edge of claim, his hands found your ass as he lifted you and wrapped your legs about his hips, he broke the kiss after a few moments and bowed his head into your shoulder…

“It’s not that I don’t love you fuckass, it’s that I don’t always know how to share it, I do. I love you more than anything. You give me a reason to not hate myself, and give me something to love. I never feel like I used to.. unless I think of losing you. That thought of losing you scares me more than anything in this world ever could. I don’t want you to fucking leave me, because without you I would be absolutely nothing,”

You held him tightly, and everything clicked inside you, you understood what love meant. It wasn’t just about him caring about you or showing his affections, it was about you taking care of him and loving him, and not only being his lover but truly his friend . That cantankerous troll holding you, you knew you could never live without.

“Karkat.. “

“I love you,” he murmured simply as he sniffed you,

“You fucking smell like him,” his growl was of jealously, and instantly, Gamzee’s shirt went flying off of you and he carried you to the shower, quickly he stripped himself, keeping his eye contact with you, his bulge already awake and squirming as he leaned and ran the hot water, he barely bothered to close the curtain as he stepped in and shoved you against the wall kissing you passionately, you moaned softly and smiled as he continued his assault. He stopped found the soap and lathered his hands. His touches were intimate rough and possesive, yet so soothing at the same time.

His hands stroked your breasts and pinched your nipples forcing you to keen softly, his hands skimmed farther down rubbing your pussy softly, sliding his fingers between the wet lips,

“I know that’s not just for me…. But I’m going to make sure it’s only me you’re thinking off,” You blushed realizing he was talking about Gamzee… any thought was jarred from your head as Karkat softly pushed two fingers into your aching passage, you moaned softly as his slow but deep and rough strokes stimulated every nerve and tissue, he hit just the right spot as his thumb found your throbbing clit. It massaged gently circles as his fingers pumped in and out. With his free hand  he lifted you against the wall under the spray, his fingers were removed now but the massage of your clitoris never ceased…

“You’re mine, mine, no one else’s ever…!” he thrust his bulge into you and pinne dyour arms over your head laying kisses along your neck and cheek, your collar bone, your lips, as his hips thrusted against yours and his fingers rubbed your clit. You could feel the pressure building and his loud calling of your name, and staccato movements told you he was close as well.

“Karkat,” you cried out as you began to come undone in his arm, his teeth sunk deep into your should to muffle his own cries as his genetic material, a hot cherry red, pulsed out for what seemed like forever, each twitch of his bulge brought about another tremor for you. Slowly he set you down and hugged you to him. Allowing you to stand on your own, he softly kissed your forehead and you closed your eyes enjoying the moment.

  “I love you,” he repeated again, “And I always will,”

  “I love you too Karkat,”

AUTHOR’S NOTE : ANYONE WHO FUCKING STEALS THIS I WILL FIND OUT AND I WILL GO HIGHBLOOD PSYCHO ON YOUR ASS WITH A  FUCKING CHAINSAW!

of all dogs, it had to be yours (kim jongin/kai x reader)

“JUST LET ME TOUCH HIM!!” you screamed, trying to break free from Chanyeol’s grasp on your shirt collar.

“(y/n)…I don’t even know why I should be apologizing but, I’m so fucking sorry. Please stop embarrassing yourself further.”

“Noooo!! I can’t get owned like this, Chanyeol! Avenge me!” you wailed as another untouched puppy sailed past your feet along with its obviously befuddled owner. Another dog that you couldn’t pet. The list was getting longer day by day.

It all started when you were 4, the first time you tried to touch your neighbor’s white kitty, you had to be taken to the hospital because the cute thing had jumped onto your face, leaving scratches that wouldn’t heal for months. All of this because you just tried to pet its fluffy head. You reached out your hand to the fluffball’s unsuspecting head and ended up learning a dark lesson.

This didn’t apply to dogs and cats only. Even birds, reptiles, fish, fucking rabbits even, and sometimes, even people had a natural aversion to you and ended up hurting you. (read: Tao, Jongdae and Baekhyun. Assholes who loved pranking you for no reason whatsoever.)

Animals had a natural aversion to you, but all you wanted was to pet them a little, was that too much to ask?

“CHANYEOL, THAT WAS A FUCKING MALTESE! I MAY NEVER SEE ONE AGAIN!”

“I know, but I can’t have the pup’s owner bite my ass just because my dumbfuck best friend wants to pet his dog. You made the last pet owner pass out because their rabbit went rabid. Geddit?! RABID? GEDDIT??” Chanyeol proceeded to slap his right knee and chuckle as you wallowed in your misery.

Praying, peace offerings, pet toys, none of this shit ever worked with them.You understood this the hard way after trying it with Junmyeon’s puppy Byun and Baekhyun’s pet fish bacon. Even Tao, whose dog Candy, which loved being touched, had given you a brutal reminder.

If people thought you were lying, you even had the scars for proof. But a dark history of mean pets and several visits to the ER has never stopped you from trying to pet every puppy that came your way.

“CHANYEOL!!! I SPOT A PUPPY!!” you shouted, looking at Chanyeol, who was busy sexting Baekhyun on a Sunday morning.

“Ugh, when are you going to stop?”

“WHEN I CAN FINALLY PET A DOG WITHOUT HAVING TO SACRIFICE MY LIFE! FOLLOW ME!” you screamed, finally getting a clear view of the puppy you had just mentioned.

Oh shit, you stopped abruptly, knocking into a currently “in the process of getting horny” Chanyeol who was typing furiously into his phone, glasses almost slipping off the bridge of his twitchy nose.

“OH MY GOD, CHANYEOL, HELP. HE’S HOT.”

“What?! I’m trying to get some here………Oh. Oooh. Wow. That is definitely some boyfriend material,” Chanyeol whistled, shoving his phone into his pocket.

What he was referring to was, most definitely, not the dog, but its obviously very hot owner.

“Wow, daddy material even.” Chanyeol whistled louder, mischievously stepping on your shoelaces, untying them successfully as you bounded cluelessly towards the fluffy brown puppy which was beckoning for you to pet it. It was time for Chanyeol “Da hottest wingman!” to shine. Baekhyun would tell you hastily that it was a self proclaimed title but you knew that it was a load of bull because only Baekhyun could come up with something as lame as that.

“HEY THERE BOY!!!” you beamed, reaching out a hand to pet the puppy, completely ignoring the owner who had politely stopped to let you do the deed. What enfolded in the next three seconds changed your life entirely. You were trying your best to not look at the puppy’s owner.

You tripped on your shoelaces, which had somehow “magically come off”, according to a very suspiciously laughing Chanyeol. After which you had, obviously, sailed forward.

You’d preferred either,

Falling on top on him, ending the scene with a very necessary albeit clichéd kiss.

(or)

Falling onto the road and disappearing forever.

But you fell onto the poor puppy, missing crushing it by a centimeter, but still getting two of its paws nicely cushioned beneath you as a groan escaped you lips. You were currently staring into the hot puppy owner’s warm, worried brown eyes.

“Oh my god, are you alright?” puppy owner questioned, offering a hand for you to take.

You froze, remembering the puppy that was so close to being sandwiched between you and the floor, blind to puppy owner’s actions.

“PUPPY!” you screamed, scrambling back worriedly to inspect the damage that you had caused to another precious lifeform. You grabbed the poor thing and shook it slightly, cuddling it close to your chest while asking it whether it was okay and if it was hurt anywhere.

The puppy responded with a tiny bark, seemingly not upset by the entire sandwiching incident, and rewarded you with a nuzzle and a nose lick. You grinned, contented that you hadn’t killed anyone today.

Chanyeol froze, his plan had backfired big time and what he needed right now was either a bottle of vodka, or some nice time with Baekhyun. He would undoubtedly choose the latter, but right now, he seemed to be conflicted. Then, he realized something.

“(y/n)…you did it.”

“What?” you asked him, trying to get the puppy away from your face, which it was intent on licking off.

“YOU PET A PUPPY WITHOUT SACRIFICING YOUR LIFE!” Chanyeol screamed, waving his gigantic hands around excitedly.

“Oh…..OH!” lighting struck you and you internally rejoiced.

FINALLY, YOU HAD DONE IT. YOU HAD TOUCHED AN ANIMAL WITHOUT GETTING MAULED IN THE PROCESS. PRAISE THE LORD.

You finally looked up to see puppy owner looking at you while smiling.

“I’m so sorry for trying to kill your dog!” you smiled sheepishly, reluctantly putting the dog back down.

“Nah, it’s fine. You were having a moment there.” He responded, chuckling into his hand.

Ugh, his smile could light up Kyungsoo’s dark heart and save millions of withered flowers.

“Can I…can I pet your puppy some more? Please? I’ve never actually pet a puppy properly before.” You pleaded, hands already itching to pick up the fluffy thing and kiss it.

“No.” his eyes narrowed into condescending crescents.

You gasped, frowning at him.

“Just kidding! Knock yourself out! I’m Jongin by the way,” he laughed

You didn’t even wait to say thank you before picking up the puppy and rubbing its head affectionately. While you were having the time of your life, Chanyeol had pulled Jongin aside, telling him about your sad life. Jongin chuckled, clearly amused by how animals could hate someone like you.

“Hey, do you mind if I ask her out for like….a coffee or something? She’s really cute, are you perhaps, her boyfriend?” Jongin whispered to Chanyeol, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He honestly thought you were pretty cute.

Chanyeol almost screamed while he exchanged numbers with Jongin and secretly gave him yours. Jongin walked happily back to you. You’d thank Chanyeol later for everything he’s done for you. This is what Chanyeol thought though.

“I’m so happy for you. Monggu loves you now.” Jongin smiled, melting some more of your heart in the process.

“YEAH, I FEEL LIKE CRYING,” you sniffled.

“What would you feel like If I told you that I have two more puppies?” he squatted own next to you, putting his hand over yours, which was on top of Monngu’s soft head.

“You’re kidding!”

“Nah, wanna see some pics over coffee, then…maybe we could go over to my house to play with them?”

“YES. GOD IS REAL. YESSSSSSS, GOODBYE CHANYEOL, I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE BETTER TO SPEND MY TIME WITH, HAVE FUN FUCKING BAEKHYUN,” you flipped Chanyeol the finger and picked Monggu up, walking away with a laughing Jongin.

Chanyeol didn’t know whether he was angry or happy at your comment.

 

bonus:

on group chat ‘exo’:

chanyodaman:

gUYS CHECK IT OUT, (y/n) IS GEDDING SOME! HYPE! HE EVEN HAS DOGS. THAT’S WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE WHILE STARING AT(y/n) PETTING HIS DOGES. TRU LOVE

chenderella:

oH SHIT, what’s the name? SUHO, WHY AREN’T YOU THIS GOOD LOOKING?

satansoo:

This is why (y/n) did a good thing by breaking up with Chanyeol three years ago.

chenderella:

^ pour cold water over burned area, chanyeol.

not high im lay:

(y/n) is so lucky, he looks like he would treat her well! 

 chanyodaman:

Kim Jongin. SHUT UP CHEN OMFG, GO FUCK SUHO IF YOU’VE GOT SO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS. WAIT FOR SUHO TO SEE THIS.

THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE COFFEE AND PET DOGS, GUYS, IT’S HAPPENING, (y/n) IS FINALLY GOING TO GET LAID. STAY CALM.

piece of bacon:

come fuck me chanyeol, ugh!

piece of bacon:

oH SHTI WROGN CHATE SORRY

suhoehoe:

You didn’t say that last night, Chen ;)

chenderella:

baekhyun, your dick is probs small enough for you to hold it and type properly, you can do atleast that much. I need some acid for my eyes, Xiumin help.

shoemin:

you’re on your own, im sry, gtg. (y/n), gl, he cute af.

sehun:

im a minor

chanyodaman:

nobody cares sehun, im too busy fangirling over how Jongin just accidentally kissed (y/n)’s cheek while he tripped on his puppy. I’m surely not spying on them. UGH BAEKHYUN WHY.

(y/n):

you guys are getting your asses BEAT when we meet next time. chan baby, be prepared to get your skin peeled off slowly :-) :-) :-)

chanyodaman:

SHIT

chenderella:

gg chanyeol, rip mate.


masterlist

anonymous asked:

So by "not to wallow in ones [sic] shit" they mean shave your natural hair, cover your face in greasy expensive paint, wear foot-injuring shoes and uncomfortable restrictive clothes, and give yourself osteoporosis and infertility from starving. What a worthless asshole that cappadouchebag is.

Yeah men are oblivious to the double standards they enforce on women

FUCKING YES! Lmao now every single last one of you hateful little cunts can go wallow in your own shit, where you belong. “I won”? Lol you LOST HARD