Babirusa are members of the pig family found in Wallacea. If a babirusa does not grind its tusks, achievable through regular activity, they will eventually keep growing so as to penetrate the animal’s own skull.

Maxwell’s World voice acting auditions

Maxwell’s World needs your help in bringing characters to life! If you’ve got a voice, and a microphone, we could use your help!
Pick any number of characters, and read off the lines below. Send your audition files in any format to pastaspace2@gmail.com. Contributors get advanced access to the mod, their name in the credits, and a shipment of dire bees mailed to the address of their choice!

EDIT: Voice auditions are now REOPENED, but only for Andy and Gale! With well over 400 hundred applicants, the turnout was glorious in how insane it was. Thanks to all for participating!

EDIT: Auditions closed once again.

The characters are:

Paladin Wallace
As heavily clad in bureacratic bullshit as he is in power armor, Collin Wallace likes rules. The last survivor of a Brotherhood of Steel recon team, Wallace takes refuge in rationality and paperwork to deal with the fact that he’s trapped in what is basically hell. Still, once you sign his forms and agree to his contracts, Wallace is the kind of man who will stand by your side and burn down entire buildings while screaming scripture to comfort himself.
Looking for a male VA who can play an humorless, paranoid warrior.
Wallace’s Audition:
“Please be aware that, according to the Brotherhood Codex, section 6, subsection b, article 2.3, that by assisting any Brotherhood endeavors you agree to the forfeit of any and all items deemed “higher technology”, the specifics of which are detailed in article 5, somewhere… here, yeah there. You also acknowledge that you are under an official nondisclosure agreement and the operations of all Brotherhood contingencies are to be kept secret under pain of legal action and any and all fallen members at or over the rank of Paladin are not to be “looted” as defined in the first contract. Any questions? No? Good. Let’s go laser something.”

A carefree treasure hunter, Jenna came to the park seeking the fabeled treasures that Maxwell hid away, but now just wants to get out. Highly opinionated and highly energetic, Jenna is a planner, a do-er, and is the kind of person who hates not being busy. Despite this, Jenna has a strong moral backbone, and will stand fast to help out people even if she doesn’t like them, or finds them boring.
Looking for a female VA, sounds mid-twenties-to-thirties, who can play a rough, fast-talking Indiana Jones style character.
Jenna’s Audition:
“I chided them; told them that if they didn’t seen this coming, as smart as they were, that they were a bunch of fools. Well, actually the exact words I use were “God damned fucking morons who when it comes to foresight are as blind a bat with its head up its own ass and probably should be eating just as much shit”. They didn’t appreciate those commentaries.”

Jenna’s sister, and the woman who hires you to find Jenna in the first place. Gale, like her sibling, is a planner to an almost meticulous degree. She’s no preconceptions about the wasteland, and prefers bribery and straightforward coercion to any sort of diplomacy. Still, it makes her honest, and as long as you’re willing to abide by the unspoken rules, she’s happy to help you.
Looking for a female VA, who can play a calculating genius with no qualms about shooting you in the face if you try and double-cross her.
Gale’s Audition:
“There are 17 turrets currently pointed at you, all primed, all armed. Seven of them are missile turrets, five are laser turrets, and the other five are… Well honestly I don’t know. If you try to shoot me, know that the glass I am standing behind can withstand several rockets. I tested it. So, you can either leave peacefully, and you will leave with your life. Or, you can try something really stupid.”

An ancient, almost skeletal ghoul; Stoat was a teenage janitor at the park, just trying to get some money, when everything went to hell. Fast forward two hundred and ten years, Stoat is no longer the caretaker of Maxwell’s World, but its greatest enemy. Having survived for centuries dodging zombie clowns and malicious rides, Stoat is so completely insane that he’s entered a sort of supersanity, and he uses his knowledge of the park to help people try and escape, while mercifully killing those who don’t. Stoat sees things, and he’s more than a little unstable. But he’s ultimately got your best interests at heart.
Looking for a male VA who can play a wacky ghoul.
Stoat’s Audition:
“I went insane! I went totally insane! Look at me, I’m wearing the uniform of the same things that are trying to kill me! That’s so crazy! But crazy, ahhh, I found out that crazy is like an ocean. There are islands, little oasises of sanity that you can cling to. That’s you. I can’t escape the park, but you can. Or you’ll get eaten by a monorail. No wait, I think that asshole crashed. We’re doing good then.”


Two happy protectrons, that server as vendors in the park. Every vendor. Really. It’s hard to tell if they’re AI that jumps from robot to robot, or if they’re following you.
Either way, Andy and Andrea are here to sell you all the food, candy, and ammunition you can eat! Doesn’t matter if you don’t want it or not, they’ll happily shove it down your throat while telling you what a stupidly useless fuck you are.
Looking for a male VA and a female VA who can play cheerful, but vulgar and aggressive robots.
Andy’s Audition:
“You’re also going to die. You’re underequipped, you need help! But we’ve got what you need! Cotton candy and hot dogs to heal you! Soda to get away some of that nasty radiation! You’ll love it! Go ahead and buy some! Take some! It’s free! No cost, no need to buy! Just eat the food! Eat the food! Shove this food into your stupid fucking face you giant god damned asshole! Eat the food! You really should! You’re going to die!”

Andrea’s Audition:
“Those guns are fucking shit, like you! You need better guns! Why not have Captain Cosmos’s raygun, if you’re enough of a fucking idiot to use energy weapons! Or if you’re a dumbass who is into explosives why not get this firework gun. You definitely need it. You let your family die! After all, you’re such a pathetic waste of space, you really think you can escape without our help? Give in, buy some ammunition! You don’t stand a chance! Come on and buy! You couldn’t protect them! Buy!”

Mister Maxwell
Mister Maxwell was the Walt Disney of Fallout. Kind of literally. The owner of Maxwell Enterprises (itself the owner of Hubris Comics and just about every other entertainment company in the USA), Maxwell was a joyous fellow of unlimited imagination, whose goal in life was to bring happiness as many people as possible. Maxwell’s World was his greatest project, his magnum opus. Unfortunately, the apocalypse happened. Maxwell might be a nuclear puddle, but something else lives on in the park. It wears his face, talks like him, and is still dedicated to bringing joy. But “joy” under Maxwell’s definition now means trapping souls in the park forever, to become part of his army of the dead.
Looking for a male VA who can put on their best Walt Disney impression, or can play a kindly, soul-stealing evil demigod entertainment mogul.
Maxwell’s Audition:
“Why do you persist? Are you afraid of death? Why? I haven’t killed you, not ever. I don’t want to. All I want is the same thing you want. For you to be filled with joy.  I really wouldn’t escape if I were you. The world, out beyond the gates, it’s radiation filled, raider filled, there’s nothing but pain and pointless struggle. Stay! Give into temptation. The preachers act like that’s a bad thing, but I promise you food, I promise you shelter, I promise you fun!”