wall of movies

The Great Wall (2017)

hello everybody. Bonafide Chinese person, here, raised in a Chinese household with Chinese parents born on the mainland, to talk about This Movie

First things first, GO FUCKING SEE IT. This movie is a work of art and you’ll encourage more diversity in Hollywood by supporting a Chinese director and production team. SHOW people that we want diversity by making this movie a hit.

Now I’m going to tell you why you’re going to go see it, and hopefully I won’t get arrested. I don’t remember any of the names except that Matt Damon was Williams something or other. They aren’t really important.

  1. I’ll put your first worries at ease. Matt Damon does not save the day. The badass lady in the blue armor does. But Matt Damon does help in a major way. He is the main character, after all.
  2. There are a total of 10 white people in the movie. Only 3 play a substantial part, and only 2 survive.
  3. The movie states right at the beginning that it’s based off a legend. Stop being snarky about the wall keeping out the Mongols.
  4. No romance.
  5. Speaking of the lady in the blue, she’s commander of a squad of leaping warrior women. Holy fucking shit, am I right?

I am in no way a film critic, so I can’t comment on the movie’s general quality. But please please go see it. I can answer any questions in private you might have, just send me an ask. Also, do everybody a favor and hit reblog for me.

post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

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