wall of gross

do u ever really think about the Holy Grail filming though

  • the primary camera which had been specially designed broke on their very first day of filming so everything was delayed as hell while they sourced a new one
  • they couldn’t get Scotland to let them use its National Trust castles so they ended up using the same one for every single fucking castle and/or used paper cutouts
  • the only reason they used the music they did was because after a whole fucking soundtrack had been written they realised their budget didn’t actually expand to an orchestra, so they used stock music and the only actual original Python song in the whole deal is Knights Of The Round Table
  • Graham had delirium tremens during his very first take, suddenly realised and admitted that he was an alcoholic, and was consequently hammered out of his brain for the remainder of filming so he wouldn’t go into the DTs again
  • as a result of this he constantly picked fights with the other Pythons, extras and random hotel staff
  • and constantly forgot half his lines
  • and ran ass naked up and down hotel corridors yelling “Betty Marsden” until Michael asked him to stop so he could sleep (and so Michael then woke up to a note pushed under his door reading “with love, Betty Marsden”)
  • but miraculously still no one realised Gray’s drinking was making him so ill and so Michael’s diaries are full of random excuses for why he was shaking his ass off every morning (“we were up v high today I think Gray was scared” “I didn’t think it was that cold but Graham was shivering” “gosh tensions are running so high Gray was so mad with us he was literally shaking”)
  • the Terrys tried to codirect and fell out over literally everything
  • and consequently constantly reshot each other’s takes behind the other’s back
  • John kept getting upset because he doesn’t like being dirty and/or cold and they were in fucking Scotland and “there wasn’t enough hot water for a shower”
  • John and Eric consequently switched hotels from the rest of the cast and crew so John could get his fucking shower
  • they were all wearing knitted “armour” and I reiterate this was fucking freezing wet Scotland so they all froze half to death and had to keeping shooting anyway
  • and John got so pissed at Terry Gilliam’s directing style (“treating us like pieces of paper”) that he eventually essentially told him to fuck off, so filming was delayed even further so Terry G could go and be offended and cry and sulk by a wall

the highest grossing British comedy film of all time, everyone.

The SnK World Analysis

So one thing which I find interesting about the official translation is that the Middle East fortress isn’t a slavery camp, but instead “Slava” is its name. I’m 99% sure this is the case with all slavic languages as I’ve seen this on multiple occasions that do not include my native language. Slava means “glory”.

One thing which I’m not quite sure about is that the fact that the “Middle East Union” is represented by what appears to be inspired/based off the Ottoman Empire. At least the uniforms if anything.

Now, unless Isayama is purposely mixing languages and nations (which he has sort of already done.. there aren’t typically Germans on Madagascar speaking Japanese, you know), including words of Slavic origin into a Middle Eastern theme is.. quite interesting. This hasn’t necessarily been anything new, but it gives some more insight on the world that this series takes place in.

Isayama has already confirmed in an interview that he based the SnK world off of the real world, but made it an upside-down mirrored variant, as we’ve seen with Marley and the island of Paradis, and the fact that sun rises from the West and sets in the East.

However, despite the nations and clothing being all over the place, the world itself is actually sightly bigger. Chapter 88 confirms that the ocean covers 70% of the planet’s surface, like in our real world, but… here’s something else.

Actual frame of Paradis Island from the atmosphere:

Madagascar from space:

You would think that the Walls, or at least the outline, would be visible on the Island from that far away.. but they’re not. I am still trying to figure out how long it actually took the SCs to get from Wall Maria to the Ocean, but I’m saving this talk for a future meta video.

Also, although the manga never gives the exact distance and size of the Walls territory, the anime gives the distance between each wall. With that, you can add it up to a radius and think of the outline of Wall Maria as a perfect circle. If you do, the total territory inside the Walls is BIGGER THAN THE SIZE OF MADAGASCAR IN REAL LIFE.

Also, Paradi itself, from a distance, looks to be of massive size considering how many plain fields there are inside the Walls… but the utter scale of it makes it too hard to notice. Knowing Isayama and well.. thinking logically, I’m guessing the Walls would be here:

And if I’m right, that little spot over there is the entirety of the Walls which is bigger than real-life Madagascar. If I’m right, then this Earth is dozens of times larger than the earth in Real Life, despite having the same (upside-down-mirrored) layout of continents. Also, that’s quite the height. It would explain why the climate inside the Walls doesn’t go very high, even in Summer days.

All of this is subject to change of course, and it may just be Isayama’s art style, but think of it like this: How far and how long did the SCs have to travel to reach the ocean? And then: What about the Eldians turned into Titans? How long would THEY need to reach the Walls? Gross made a joke when he threw Grice down and told him to head North. “If you’re lucky, you may reach the Walls”. But Kruger says that it’s impossible without being a Titan, meaning you’ll probably starve to death before you get there. Titans were able to take their time for the past 100 years, and the Eldia Restorationists plus Dina managed to reach Wall Maria in 18 years or less. Grisha, as a Titan, may have sprinted his way towards it before reaching Shiganshina and being found by Shadis… it definitely looked like he went a long way.

Then there’s the question of the Warriors. If all I’m saying is in fact correct, then I highly doubt they traveled the whole distance by foot from the coastline. My guess would be helicopters, as the first one dates back to 1939, and we know Marley already has planes and advanced military technology for their time, so… that would be my guess.

Again, if I’m right, this Earth may be even bigger than Jupiter.. which is just absolute madness, but we know that’s nothing compared to what Isayama has done so far. I’m looking forward to more surprises :D

Keith unintentionally spies on Lance in the training room  … (Fifth and Final Part)

where the Blue Paladin is kicking ass. And Keith’s kind of mesmerized by it. Then he’s more than mesmerized — he’s freaking out because he’s actually kinda sorta into this brutally efficient soldier version of Lance.

(Part One Here) (Part Two Here) (Part Three Here) (Part Four Here)

Keith lets go of Lance’s hand, but only so he can wrap his arms around the Blue Paladin’s waist, reeling him in until there is no space between them. 

Lance’s anxious expression begins to shift — confused wariness takes its place, then he seems to soften into pleased surprise. His arms come up hesitatingly, embracing Keith lightly in return.

Keith knows the other boy is going to say something soon, so Keith speaks quickly, “Is this sign clear enough for you? And if it’s not, can I do something else to make it … clearer?”

This has gone from zero to light-speed, and Keith has no freaking clue what he’s doing, only that he’s tired of fighting himself, and if his impulses are leading him down this road, then he might as well as follow — those same instincts have saved his skin in battle time and time again, so why ignore them?

“What are you …” Lance’s voice cracks. He looks horrified by this for a split second, but he pushes on regardless. “What kind of thing could makes this any more obvious? You’re into me. Oh wow, I just said that out loud and it doesn’t sound real. Keith, seriously, for how long —”

“Literally for the amount of time it took you to beat my time in this sim, plus you stripping off your top armour, and, uh, maybe this is the wrong thing to say?” Keith recalls Lance’s burst of sincerity, the way he spoke about Keith with admiration colouring every word. “I swear it’s not just your looks —”

“Are you worrying about objectifying me?” Lance laughs. “Dude, be as into my looks as you want. Me being all badass and stuff — that works for you? Good, since when you pull off a crazy stunt in your Lion, or on the ground, I kinda want to make out with you immediately after.”

“Since when?” Keith demands. How long has Lance been wanting to kiss him? Why didn’t he say so sooner? Actually, forget that second point — if Lance hadn’t said anything about Keith’s weird sudden hand holding, Keith probably would have pretended nothing was happening and gone on with business as usual.

“Uh, I’m not going to disclose that information. But I did just tell you that I didn’t realize I wanted more than making out until … yesterday.” Lance’s face falls a little, and Keith feels the slice of the blade into his back again. He vaguely remembers the screams of his fellow Paladins, and he tries to pick out Lance’s in particular — a desperate, rasping cry.

But no, not now, it doesn’t matter — he’s healed, and he’s here, in Lance’s arms, and this is a pretty amazing turn of events even if they happened faster than he can comprehend.

He grins a bit, trying for a lighter tone to bring the smile back to Lance’s face. “Your exact words were ‘head over heels’ and doesn’t that … that means you —”

“Hey, remember when you said you wanted to make things clearer for me?” Lance asks, sounding bright again, and somehow he manages to press in even closer — if there had been an infinitesimal amount of air between their bodies, it’s gone now. Their noses are brushing when Lance murmurs, “Wanna maybe do that now?”

There’s a note of challenge in Lance’s tone, and if there’s one thing Keith has never been able to resist in Lance, it’s the way he challenges Keith.

And so he smiles sharply, which Lance probably can’t see since his eyes are directly in front of his, and nods. “Stop me if this isn’t what you mean.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s —”

And Keith presses his lips to that loudmouth. 

His eyes fall shut after Lance’s lids flutter closed. The way Lance breathes out slightly through his nose, and then tilts his head so he can kiss more thoroughly — that breaks something in Keith. Specifically, the something that would have kept him silent about his newly discovered feelings. Keith’s arms tighten around Lance, and he decides to put his very limited kissing skills to the test as he parts his lips.

Lance makes a shocked little noise that Keith feels the vibration of, and then things get hazy.

All Keith knows is that somehow, Lance is against a wall now, his still-armoured legs are wrapped around Keith’s waist, and Keith is gripping his thighs to hold him up, and was this actually happening right now? What was his life even like before this? He hadn’t even known this was a possibility until two minutes ago.

Their mouths have barely parted except to gasp and then go back for more, and really, even though he’d banished the morbid thoughts from his brain (actually, most kinds of thinking were gone, away, on vacation, maybe never to return), he did have a fleeting impression of gratitude for not dying yesterday. Imagine never getting to have this thing that he hadn’t even known he’d wanted?

“Hm, Keith?” Lance breathes out when Keith has pulled away to inhale more deeply. “This is awesome, but, wow, uh, I’m sort of having trouble with reality right now. Could you just … say what you’re thinking so I know you’re not some weird fever dream brought on by hardcore training?”

“Can we train together next time?” Keith says instantly. “Running a few sims with you would be … cool. And we should totally come up with some programs together — we’d be unstoppable, with your sharpshooting skills, and then my melee —”

Lance dives in for another kiss — it’s almost ferocious, sucking the air from Keith’s lungs. When he retreats, Keith is left gaping, and Lance is grinning widely. “Yeah, that’s you all right. Wow, dude, your soldier brain is just never allowed to take a break, huh?”

“I wasn’t thinking anything until you asked me to talk,” Keith complains somewhat petulantly. “And why are we talking again?”

“You’re so right, except, no, wait —” Lance lets Keith interrupt him, but he ends the next round of kissing far too quickly, yanking his face back, nearly smashing his head into the wall. “Keith, I am so gross right now. My pores are screaming for relief, so let’s, ah, go our separate ways for cleaning purposes, and reconvene in the kitchen? Food would be good.”

“Right, you’re right,” Keith agrees hoarsely. He eases Lance’s legs back down to the floor.

They stare at each other for untold moments. It’s Lance who breaks the stalemate, reaching over to shove Keith gently. “Let’s say dinner in an hour. First date?”

He sounds and looks a touch anxious again, but his eyes are bright, his lips are painfully red, and he waggles his eyebrows with no shame whatsoever.

Keith walks over to where Lance had dropped his gloves, vambraces, and chest plate. When he hands them back to the Blue Paladin, who had been shuffling on his feet nervously, he says, “Okay. Sounds good.”

Lance’s relieved smile is making Keith feel more things. He lets that happen and it’s so easy, so ridiculously nice, that he sort of hates himself for being such a repressed jerk earlier, even if it was only briefly.

“Great, yes, okay, I’m … gonna go now. You, you don’t train. It’s only an hour. Take a shower, get my sweat off you … oh wow, that sounds … Crap. Okay, bye now, see you in the kitchen and please forget the last ten seconds, thanks.” Lance scurries off, but he still manages to get one last word in as he hits the door. He whips around and shoots Keith a confident little smirk. 

“Remember, you have my permission to be all about my looks on occasion. Such as while you shower?”

And then he’s gone. Keith stands there, and he doesn’t even attempt to reason out what the hell just happened. He doesn’t try to rewind time and pinpoint the exact moment when this all spiraled out of control.

Instead, he nods to himself, licking his lips and feeling a smile, soft and happy, form afterwards. And he decides that just maybe, as he heads to his room, this won’t be a total disaster.

And even if it is, it may be the best disaster Keith’s ever been a part of.

Author’s note: And done — sort of ;) I’m gonna add a small epilogue — but it won’t be here.

I’ll group all the parts together, plus the epilogue, as a one-shot, and post it on my AO3 some time soon, hopefully. 

Whether or not you join me there, many thanks to all of you that followed this story! *hugs*

Soulhates

It was at another one of Gregory Patterson’s parties, that’s when I met her.

She the most disgustingly beautiful person in the room. With emphasis on the disgusting. The way she was looking at everybody like she was better than them. And she wasn’t even touching the cake Gregory made himself from scratch, despite being handed a slice by Gregory himself.

I kept my eye on her from the other side of the room. I wanted to catch her in the act of whatever she was gonna do next. But she didn’t even try hide it. Right in front of Gregory’s face, she grabbed the cake, smooshed it to crumbs and let it fall into the trash can next to her. She didn’t even bother to aim right, and some of the crumbs fell onto the floor.

I gasped, and Gregory had signs of distress on his face. He just moved back. The poor boy, his heart was broken by this witch. I was going to talk to her.

Keep reading

4

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUSBANDOS!!! 

Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise From outward things, whate'er you may believe. There is an inmost centre in us all, Where truth abides in fulness; and around, Wall upon wall, the gross flesh hems it in, This perfect, clear perception - which is truth. A baffling and perverting carnal mesh Binds it, and makes all error: and to KNOW Rather consists in opening out a way Whence the imprisoned splendour may escape, Than in effecting entry for a light Supposed to be without.
—  Robert Browning-from ‘Paracelsus’
youtube

The small man is always ready to defend his boyfriend against any perceived threat.

Disclaimer: Know your birds and always supervise interactions between those with differing sizes. She has never shown any aggression to another bird, but even so Zyda could do some very serious damage to the cockatiels if she had a mind to.
 - I removed her after filming so Skyline’s stress was brief.

Unsuspected Hero

Summary: Halloween | I’m like 85% sure my neighbour is a werewolf

Word Count: 1606

Member: Jimin

Fluff

It was the last time you would put up with scratching at your wall, accompanied with gross moaning. Your neighbour having sex was no problem to you, you knew he was attractive and it was none of your business whether or not he was sexually active or not, but at least once a month he would have incredibly loud sex and keep you awake for most of the night. It wasn’t okay and it wasn’t fair. So, when you woke up the next morning, you quickly got ready before marching towards his door.

You lifted your hand and knocked, trying to stay polite. You knew that you would be fueled with anger and adrenaline until he opened the door and you would meekly whisper out an apology and some excuse before escaping. But you’d lost too many sleepless nights and you weren’t going to let it continue. The door opened and without even looking up at him, you started off.

“Excuse me, hi,” you started, eyes trained on the floor. “I’m your neighbour to your left and okay so we’re kind of in an apartment and what you get up to during the night is absolutely none of my business but you tend to be very loud some times and I’m not sure what it is but could you please keep it down?”

You felt your cheeks slowly get redder as the silence dragged on and you eventually lifted your head up to look at what was taking him so long to reply. When your eyes met his face, you let out a loud gasp and your hands flew to cover your mouth. What you had expected was messy hair and a tired look, but accompanying that were soft bruises covering his hands, arms, and face, as well as small scratches scattered everywhere. He was leaning heavily on the door frame and was blinking hard to keep his eyes open. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know I was so loud.”

“Are- Are you okay?” you whispered back, your hand automatically going to reach out and touch his face but pausing and falling back, awkwardly. You couldn’t just touch a stranger.

He managed a meek smile in your direction. “I’m alright,” he chuckled quietly. “Wild night.”

“I can tell,” you sighed. “Do you need any help?” He began to protest softly, but you cut him off right away. “You can barely hold yourself up right now and you’re covered and bruises and scratches. You must be extremely sore.”

“Just a little bit,” he said quietly, fidgeting with his top. “But it’s alright, I don’t want to be any kind of bother to you.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you soothed. “I had no plans for today. Here, leave your door unlocked and go sit down. I’ll run back to my place and make some soup and come back over with it, okay?”

You left before he could protest, so he just hummed, a rough sound with how his throat was, and shut his door, moving back into the living area. When you got back to your apartment, your thoughts ran wild. This was not what you had been expecting to do with your day, but you had also assumed that your neighbour was just having very loud sex. Now, however, you weren’t so sure. He seemingly had just woken up and there was no one else in his apartment from what you could see. Plus, the bruises and scratches on his body weren’t really those you’d find from any form of intercourse.

The more you thought about it, the weirder things seemed to get. Once a month he would scratch and moan and at first you had assumed it was dirty but now… You weren’t so sure. If this was how he ended up after one of those nights, it seemed to be slightly different. You grabbed your phone and went to check when the full moon was, but as you pulled up Google you paused and scoffed at yourself.

“Werewolves aren’t real, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. 

Keep reading

Autobio comics

I’m late with my hot take on the whole Erica Moen debacle, but that whole mess got me thinking about autobio comics and what makes them work v what doesn’t. And I’ve come to the realization that the reason Moen’s comics are actually pretty awful (which I think is the same reason they’re so popular) is that she overshares unnecessary details. Her picking her nose and wiping boogers on the wall isn’t just gross it’s not interesting or necessary. A lot of the things in her work that are just gross for the sake of grossness are unnecessary for the same reasons that mentioning Frodo taking a dump on the side of the road on his way to Morder is unnesssary. It doesn’t add anything to the narrative.

And yeah I know autobio stories are supposed to be based on someone’s actual lived life, but there are two other autobio comics that I can think of that are much better. One is “Fun Home” by Allison Bechdel and the other is “Blankets” by Craig Thompson.  Both have simplistic styles and do talk about sex in their comics, but rather than be confrontational in their grossness like Moen does they mention sex that’s actually relevant to the over all story that they’re trying to tell. Yes their characters are real people and yes these events are based on how they remember them at least. However I didn’t get the impression from either of these comics that the artists were over sharing things that weren’t really relevant to what they were talking about.

This is not a problem that just Moen has. There’s an autobio comic called “Stiches” by David Smalls which overall has more in common with “Fun Home” or “Blankets” than anything by Moen. However there is a part where Smalls walks in on his mother having an affair with the neighbor lady he had a crush on as a child. However this scene doesn’t go anywhere or connect to anything other than telling us what became of the neighbor lady he had a crush on that he mentioned earlier in the book. He even talks in an authors note about how he would’ve elaborated more on his mothers sexuality if the story had actually been about that. Essentially the scene is basically there to just be there. Now the scene where his mother brings him a copy of Lolita to read (which he’d wanted to read but hadn’t been allowed to) in the hospital and then getting rid of it behind his back after he survices the surgery he went through IS a necessary detail. That paints the picture of what his relationship with his mother was like. However his mother having sex with the neighbor lady isn’t really especailly since Smalls himself isn’t gay so unlike Bechdel talking about her fathers sexuality there’s no real reason to bring it up.

Actually now that I’ve typed this all up it’s made me realize how if you strip away Moen’s moral grossness along with her in general grossness her comics would be completely uninteresting. They wouldn’t be about anything because Moen has a pretty unspectacular life. She doesn’t make comics about going through trauma or examining a particular event in her life. Her work is basically just slice of life about farts, nose picking, and sexually harassing people on the street.

Though for anyone who wants to throw tomatoes at me about this just know that Moen is making more money off her comics than I could ever hope to make.

Bar Harbor Hospital - Intensive Care Unit

Just like every day after school I walked these same walls. White walls dimly illuminated under gross florescent lighting as I went to the direction of where Cameron’s room was. There hadn’t been any improvement. She hadn’t woken up. She just laid there day after day while her father and I sat there, listening to the beeping of the machines that monitored her heart. Monitored everything.

I stopped in my tracks as I came face to face with her father suddenly. He looked all kinds of worried. A hand running through his short pepper hair first and then his long beard.

“What’s wrong?”

“Joey… This morning things got a bit more serious. Cameron is suffering from liver damage. All the pills she took that night… Even though they pumped her stomach and things looked fine… Guess not really.”

I drew in a sharp breath. “Is she… Is she going to be okay…?” I didn’t know how I would be without my best friend. I couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not ever.

“She’s going to need a liver transplant. But she’s fine. I’ve been told she’s comfortable. Can’t feel a thing.” He cleared his throat then, his voice lowering. “Listen Joey… I thought you should know. During the whole ordeal… The baby… They weren’t able to save it. It’s gone.”

“…What?”

“Cameron’s not pregnant anymore. Everything was such a strain on her body and on the baby….”

I blinked. Letting the words sink in for a few passing moments. Before the suicide attempt she had decided on not wanting to keep the baby. We were actually supposed to take the ferry out to the mainland for her to get the abortion. I nodded at Mr. Dylan, before wrapping my arms around him and hugging him. He was like a father to me and the look in his eyes, the stress on his face, I felt so bad for him. None of this was hitting us as hard as it was hitting him.

“I’m glad she’s okay. Hopefully she gets that transplant… We need our Cameron back.”

We stepped away from each other as he let out a long sigh. “Yeah, we do.. I’m going to grab a sandwich from the cafeteria. I’ll be back.”

“Okay,” I said to him as I took out my cell phone. I shot off two text messages then, one to Casey and the other to Brianne. Updating them on Cameron.

I looked through the glass window then. Seeing Cameron laying there. I shook my head. If she ever did wake up and got to leave… Everything would be different for her.

Random headcanon

For Harley, the one positive thing about being sick is getting extra attention from Joker. This includes:

• more cuddles/kisses

• being persuaded with candy to take the gross cough medicine she doesn’t like

• getting to sleep whenever she wants

• and being delivered large bowls of ice cream at 3am.

the jojo parts i haven't read yet
  • stone ocean: lesbians try to stop gay priest, Dio's back in action, ??? some universe shit goes down
  • steel ball run: cowboy race???? dinosaurs???? gyro zeppeli pizza mozzarella????? jonathan joestar is now a paraplegic? and a blonde?????
  • jojolion: what the fuck is going on, fusion, eyes?? on the walls? gross???, heterosexuality? in MY jojo? more likely than u think, four balls?? some guy has a shitty cut