Jerónimos Monastery by Tony Via Flickr: The construction of the monastery and church began on 6 January 1501, and was completed 100 years later. King Manuel originally funded the project with moneys obtained from the Vintena da Pimenta, a 5 percent tax on commerce from Africa and the Orient, equivalent to 70 kilograms (150 lb) of gold per year, with the exception of those taxes collected on the importation of pepper, cinnamon and cloves, which went directly to the Crown.
It’s an endless task, always has been. These days, His messages are scrawled on to the walls of cities, carved into bathroom stalls, sprayed over billboards, and in any other corner they belong, where the people who need to see it will. Then the devils come rolling in to call it vandalism, paint it over, and Gabriel begins his job anew. It’s an endless task, always has been. But angels are just as endless, tireless, deathless.
Summary: Dan thought that Phil loved him. Now Dan’s falling apart and Phil can’t see that he’s fading.
Warnings: tw, self harm, blood, unrequited love, mentions of sex, bad writing
Words: 999 (I kid you not)
A/N: I’m sorry
Drops of ink. Drops of blood.
Dan couldn’t tell where one started and the other ended.
The black smudged and blurred the red. Around Dan’s page. Around Dan’s mind. Around Dan’s heart. The colours twisting and blurring to spell out a single word.
Dan rubbed angrily at his eyes, the red of his eyelids being squished into the black of nightmares
With someone else.
Upon hearing another moan through the wall. Dan carved two lines into the dual white canvases.
One in ink. One in blood
As the black began to lull Dan with whispers of a dreamless sleep, Dan reflected on what Phil was.
Phil was everything
Funny, joyful, caring, smart-
Selfish. Phil was selfish. Dan decided.
Phil was the one in his bedroom fucki-no making love to his boyfriend. While Dan, his best friend and ex-fuckbuddy was sat alone in his bedroom, slowly letting his love drain out through ink and his life drain out through blood.
The first time had only been an accident. Both of them at a New Year’s party and loaded up on god knows what. 30 seconds to midnight and everybody else already coupled up, they had no choice.
Until the New Year’s kiss quickly tuned into something hungrier, more primal and deeper which ended in them whispering sweet nothings into the night’s air until the dawn sent them scurrying back to their own room, their lips tingling and their hearts pounding.
The second time was a bit more skeptical. They were less drunk, under less pressure, however that didn’t stop it from being any less intense, less memorable, less real than the first.
The third time was downright inexcusable. They weren’t drunk at all, alone in the house with their TV blaring out the credits of the last episode of their latest anime.
Although neither of them protested as hands found bodies and lips found lips.
That morning after, Dan and Phil had decided to settle their arrangement. Fast, easy and quality sex was what they decided on. Fast, easy and quality sex with no strings attached
Dan just assumed that was a cover for their true relationships. After all, platonic friends with benefits didn’t cuddle in bed whispering sweet nothings into the other’s ear. Platonic friends with benefits did not quickly steal lingering kisses while cooking dinner or watching a movie. Platonic friends with benefits did not act like anything more than just friends anywhere outside the bedroom.
And so Dan was happy.
Until he wasn’t.
Until Adam had been assigned to be the technician of the Internet Takeover.
Dan still remembered the evening when Phil burst into the lounge, smiling a smile that usually only Dan could make him wear. “It went brilliantly! We exchanged numbers and I’m going to see him again on Thursday. ”
Phil had then retired to the other end of the sofa, smiling while tapping away on his phone and Dan had forced a smile and tried to ignore the rip in his heart.
On Thursday, Phil had brought Adam home and Dan had carved the first line into his arm.
And Phil didn’t notice.
Dan started to wear long sleeves which covered his lower arms, even though the days were starting to get warmer.
And Phil still didn’t notice.
And that’s when Dan realised that even though Phil was the centre of Dan’s universe.
Dan wasn’t the centre of his.
Fourteen red lines were drawn that night.
Dan was fading. He could feel it. Blackness was eating away at the edges of his vision. His pounding lifeblood was seeping out of the artwork covering his canvas of a body. Dan felt light, light and numb. Perhaps that was what prompted him to call out Phil’s name.
The noises stopped, soon replaced by angry muttering which kept fading in and out of focus as Dan fought to stay conscious.
“Dan… I’m sort of busy right now. Is it urgent?”
Is it urgent. Dan had a wild urge to laugh. He was dying. Dan Howell was dying and Phil had asked whether or not it was urgent.
Dan’s lips felt bloated and heavy as he called out the only word he seemed to be able to say.
It was silent for a few moments before Dan heard a barely audible sigh float into his ears.
“Dan.” the voice sounded annoyed, snappy “Dan, I’m with Adam right now. If it’s urgent then say so. If not then please can you leave us be?”
Us. The word echoed around Dan, amplifying the call of the black void surrounding him, engulfing him. And Dan can only wonder when us stopped meaning Dan and Phil and started meaning Phil and Adam.
Every movement, every thought was almost too much of an effort, yet a final word was dragged from Dan’s lips. He needed to hear him, needed to see him for the last time.
“Phil.” Dan eyes fluttered shut as his life soaked into the bedsheets in a vivid shade of crimson.
“Dan.” the voice is icy now, as cold as the night sea. “Please shut up.”
Shut up . The two words stab and twist cruelly at his heart. Dan feels like he is drowning. Shut up, shut up. Phil doesn’t love him, maybe he never has. Maybe Dan has assumed too much, believes try had something. Shut up, shut up Dan doesn’t have the energy left to cry, he can feel his heartbeat irregularly pounding and fading. Dan lets a harsh laugh bubble its way past his lips and when did he get so tired.
Shut up, shut up . Dan can feel the blackness tugging and pulling and attempting to detach his soul from his body. His body marked in so many ways by Phil. Phil’s love- no Phil’s pleasure, Phil’s betrayal and Phil’s faults.
Shut up. Shut up.
Dan is almost gone. He can feel himself slowly fading away, his mind curiously blank and somehow he manages to ignore the deep ache from where his heart should be.
Unbidden, a final word slips past Dan’s lips.
And Dan gives up.
A/N: You all still alive out there? You there at the back, alive? Barely? Good enough.
I’m still in shock about this but this fic has been nominated for a phanfic award in the emotional wreck category! (guys I am a barely known author with shitty writing and an even shittier personality but god do I love you all so much, all of you are amazing)
Neo-Assyrian Glazed Terracotta Tile from Nimrud (Kalhu), Iraq, c. 883-859 BC
A clue to the colour scheme of an ancient palace:
This glazed tile was found by the excavator Henry Layard at the Assyrian city of Nimrud. Along with the stone reliefs, it was part of the decorative scheme of the royal palace, although few examples survived Nimrud’s destruction in the seventh century BC.
This example depicts an Assyrian king, possibly Ashurnasirpal II (reigned 883-859 BC), accompanied by his bodyguard and attendants. It was probably part of a sequence showing the king as triumphant warrior and hunter. Such tiles provide a clue to the kind of colour scheme used for the relief panels. The decoration was executed in yellow, black and green (perhaps originally red) paint. These were made from natural materials.
It is likely that most major Assyrian buildings had paintwork at least in the reception rooms. Ashurnasirpal recorded that he had represented his triumphs in paintings. There were murals on the walls above the carved stone panels and the ceilings were also painted.
Glazed bricks are mentioned first in the second half of the second millennium BC when the mastery of the mechanical properties of glass had become known.
hand-carved designs and stamps are nativebear’s specialty — i love the rustic yet clean look of their wares. these three mountain finds are perfection, from a 4-color art print to a personalized address stamp to a ‘new frontier’ card in poppy red, i bet you’re loving them, too.
Jyn and Cassian stepped through a large entry way lined with
gold intricate carvings. The walls were a light tan and had patterned tapestries
hanging from them. Chandeliers smiled down on the guests and glistened softly
in the light. Red carpet covered the floor and long, endless seeming tables
were set out for the guests.
“Just try to act natural…” Cassian manages to whisper to Jyn
as he leans over her shoulder. His face was so close that Jyn could feel the
light tickle of his facial hair on her cheek as he pulled back. She was dressed
formally, hair braided up into a bun instead of her usually sloppy up-do she
was accustomed too. She wore a long, black dress that rose just above her
ankles, and had a short train behind her. The sleeves elegantly fell off her
shoulders. Revealing her collar bone.
Jyn could almost feel Cassians gaze weighing her down,
making her more nervous than before. It was like he hadn’t stopped staring
since she first walked out in the dress. Or, a Ridiculous garment, as Jyn had put it.
Cassian found himself stepping around her or avoiding being
his usually close distance to avoid stepping on the dress. He’d already stepped
too close multiple times, to his embarrassment, making Jyn stumble forward.
Luckily she hadn’t been holding a drink in the past. She now held a delicate
glass of wine between her small fingers.
He made a point to avoid close contact in case of further embarrassment.
Jyn couldn’t deny that she too, was admiring Cassian. He cleaned up well She admitted. But she
quickly averted her gaze. making eye contact would only embarrass her further.
His constant staring was enough already.
They had been assigned this mission only a few days before
they’d arrived. They were disguised as political figures, or, in other words, a
political couple. They were meant to eavesdrop on the conversations at dinner.
Jyn left that part to Cassian. She basically only came to “Look pretty” as their commander had put it.
Jyn was reluctant to accept the mission at first, but came
along anyway. There was no way she’d let people think that she was afraid of looking pretty or something of
that nature. She could do anything. And if cleaning up and dressing fancy was
needed, she’d do that too.
“Fake names… what were they?” Jyn hastily breathed to
Cassian, hushing her tone to avoid any questions. She smiled and waved at a few
“Cameron and Jade.” He briskly answered, moving to shake the
hand of a man who had come to greet them.
We just have to make
it through dinner…
Cassian offered his arm to Jyn,
smiling boyishly. She stole a glance in the mere moments that he was looking
away. She studied his uniform and the way he’d trimmed his hair to look neater.
She slipped her arm between his and let him guide her to their seats. They sat across
from each other on the long, narrow tables. A brute of a man was sitting on one
side of Jyn, and she gave Cassian a somewhat, unimpressed expression. The man attempted to make conversation, but
she quickly made herself sound uninterested, in order to avoid a distraction.
“The conversation will be to the
right of us.” Cassian whispered to Jyn. He grabbed the glass set out in front
of him, pouring a bit of wine. He sipped it and glanced at the group forming
Jyn, completely ignoring his
insight, smirked at him.
“I thought you don’t drink?” She
teased, taking more wine for herself. Cassian shrugged and raised an eyebrow at
“Keeping appearances.” He smiled,
leaning back in his chair.
The night dragged on for what
seemed like forever, and Jyn wasn’t paying attention to any of it. At times,
she wondered if Cassian even paid the group a second glance. He seemed to be
too distracted by Jyn. She’d had too many glasses of wine to count, taking too
much enjoyment in the evening, and the small-talk she’d made with the woman
sitting beside her.
Jyn glanced at Cassian every so
often, his gaze never seeming to move. She just hoped that he was deeply
focused on the conversation as much as he had focused on her figure.
Jyn felt her face growing hot,
and poured herself another glass of wine. Cassian looked slightly nervous, and
leaned over the table to whisper to her;
“You sure you should drink more?”
She grinned at him and took the
wine she’d poured in one gulp, and slammed the glass on the table. Cassian was grateful
that it didn’t break, and glanced at the other guests. They hadn’t seemed to
notice her behavior.
“Jyn- You’re getting drunk…” he pressed.
“You need to stay focused…”
People were beginning to retire,
and Cassian decided that it may be best If they did also. He stood, turning to
a man beside him. His words sounded muffled to Jyn. She couldn’t make them out.
She stood also, stumbling slightly.
Cassian moved around the table to
offer an arm to Jyn. She smiled warmly at him and took the offer, leaning slightly
on him. She was small and fragile against him, and her cheeks were pushed up
cutely by her giddy smile. Cassian couldn’t let himself be frustrated with her
for overdrinking. He knew it was a habit of hers, and he should’ve paid more
attention to it at the beginning of the dinner. He lead her out of the
building, making their way over to his ship which they’d landed not far off.
He pressed his comlink;
“Hey K2? We’re back.” He stated.
There was a brief moment of silence before the ship doors opened for Jyn and
Cassian to head inside. Cassian gently placed Jyn on one of the seats and
walked over to K2.
“And how was your evening?” K-2SO
asked. He leaned sideways to look at Jyn from behind his seat. “Oh my.”
“I know… “ Cassian waved a hand
at K2, attempting to silence him.
“I thought you said you’d control
her with the alcohol?”
Jyn lifted her head at the droids
comment and let her mouth drop open, a dramatic expression of distrust and
“You said WHAT about meee…?” She dragged out her sentence,
leaning forward and pointing at Cassian. Cassain only smiled and shook his head
in return, taking a seat beside her. He offered her a glass of water.
“More wine?” She seemed to have
forgotten her past irritation and took the water, attempting to take it all at
once, but failing by spilling a small bit on herself. Cassian chuckled lightly.
“No, not wine Jyn.” He took the
glass from her and placed it next to him. “Water.”
“Oh…” she sounded disappointed. “Is
the party over?” She hiccupped.
“Ah- Yes.” K2 chimed.
Jyn let out a sound of disdain
and leaned on Cassians shoulder heavily. She pressed herself against him,
cuddling up to his side. Cassian felt his cheeks get warm as he lifted his arm
to let her get into a comfortable position beside him.
“Time for bed then.” She stated, closing
“No no Jyn-“ Cassian pushed her
upright again, grinning lightly. “you can’t sleep right here. There’s a bed at
the back of the ship, alright?”
Jyn only nodded.
“Are you going to take me to bed?”
She asked innocently, leaning back on the seat, away from Cassian now. Cassians
face flushed red, and he looked at K2.
“She doesn’t mean it like that Cassian.” K2 said in annoyance. “Are
you always this inappropriate?”
Cassian placed a hand on his face
and stood up, lifting Jyn up to guide her to bed. She pulled on his sleeve,
almost a childlike gesture, and frowned.
“I don’t want to go to sleep.”
She complained, furrowing her brow. “I want to stay with you.”
“Pleaseee…..?” Jyn dragged out
the word, letting out a soft hiccup at the end of it.
“Ah- fine.” Cassian waved a hand.
“Wanna’ go stargaze?”
Jyn nodded, smiling brightly.
Come on Jyn.” Cassian put an arm over her shoulders and guided her outside.
yourselves!” K2 called after them. Cassian ignored him.
They laid on the grass outside
the ship, the doors still open so K2 could feel
like he was included. Though the droid didn’t actually care. He just did it
to annoy Cassian.
Jyn and Cassian sat in silence
for quite a while. He enjoyed the quiet. It wasn’t an awkward silence… it was a
peaceful one. He looked up at the stars glistening lightly and studied their
different constellations. Jyns voice interrupted him;
“Do you think star-crossed lovers…
are… are…are real?” she asked, moving closer to Cassian, pressing against his
side. Cassian again, felt his cheeks get hot with embarrassment, but didn’t
refuse her gesture.
“Star-crossed lovers?” he
repeated, staring up at the small specks of stars in the dark sky hanging above
“Yea. lovers.” She spread her
arms wide in the air, hiccupping again. “Soul mates?”
Cassian took a moment to
consider. He let his thoughts drift to if she’d remember any of this tomorrow,
and found himself not really caring either way. If she remembered, so be it.
“I think they do exists.” He stated.
“If they didn’t…” Jyn started,
turning to face Cassian. She propped herself up on one of her elbows. “How
would you explain us?”
Cassian looked at her, surprised.
She was smiling warmly at him, leaning in close. Her face just inches away from
“Jyn…” He started, reaching to
touch her face with his hand gently.
“Yes mr.Cassian Cameron?” She
asked, a tease coming into her tone.
“I love you.”
He let the words escape his mouth
as a whisper, barely seeming to breath them. He wondered if they’d even met the
air. And he wondered if she had heard them, and if she had, would she remember
in the morning?
She snuggled closer to him and
closed her eyes. Cassians lips brushed her forehead, and he kissed it gently.
He could feel the rise and fall of her breathing grow slower. She was falling
asleep. He let out a sigh.
“Goodnight Jyn…” He said softly, closing
his eyes and pulling her closer.
I spent far more time in the Court of Nightmares over the next three days than I cared to. Rhys wanted me beside him at all times as he discussed defense tactics with high-ranking members of his court. He said that it was important that I be there, not just because these things were necessary for me to know as a High Lady, but also because they wouldn’t expect me to be sifting through their minds as they gave their reports to Rhys.