Every year has been hard, but this year has been the hardest. I have gotten worse. Reality has become nothing but a question to me. I have come to the point where everything in sight has been in observation. I study the leaves and how they move with the wind. I study the passing cars going to their destination.  I study the sound the crickets make and think about how they have a completely different life than us humans. I study everything and wonder if anything studies me. Times like these I feel odd. I feel distant. Everything is a blur. I feel the world all around me. I am nearly a tiny person in this vast universe. I look up at the stars and wonder what life is out there. I wonder if life is even at all. Everything is confusing. I do not understand anything.
—  I took a walk and wrote as I observed life around me