The Never-Never Affair episode rewatch + trashy commentary
Illya is being chased by a veritable army of T.H.R.U.S.H. and yet not a single one of them try to shoot him despite being armed to the teeth, because Illya is clearly too pretty to shoot. Instead, they light fires in front of and behind him and try to smoke him out.
Illya staggers around prettily for a bit then escapes down a manhole, leaving the local T.H.R.U.S.H. agents to get a dressing-down from Victor Gervais, head of T.H.R.U.S.H. France.
“Fascinating!” says Gervais. “It would have seemed simpler, perhaps, to shoot him in the leg.” Hush, you, nobody shoots my bby in the leg.
Back at U.N.C.L.E. HQ, Napoleon walks into Mr. Waverly’s office for a briefing and Illya immediately starts unbuckling his belt. It’s like he’s been conditioned to start taking off his clothes every time he sees Napoleon.
Illya’s eyes are a little higher up, Napoleon.
Aaaand, oops, Napoleon’s soft heart has sent the fake courier off with the real microdot. I had to pause the playback here to laugh hysterically at Mr. Waverly and Illya’s matching “wtF, Napoleon?!?” expressions.
Illya goes to act as a decoy but runs into Mandy instead. Mandy runs away while Illya holds T.H.R.U.S.H. off, then Illya gets away too, by hitching a ride on the back of some poor unsuspecting girl’s car (look at this adorable man ❤ ).
Gervais is pissed.
Napoleon: I’d like to have the car checked out, but U.N.C.L.E. did that this morning in the garage.
Illya: Loose distributor cap. *loosens it*
Napoleon: You’re a smart Russian! ♥ ♥
Then they make heart eyes at each other for a bit (really!) before Napoleon pulls into the auto shop, leaving Illya outside to wait for Mr. Waverly.
Illya paces around outside looking extremely precious. Backup arrives, the good guys win, etc., etc..
And we end on this adorable note, could you two cuddle up any closer.