Shakira offered to adopt me if I accepted the job of always walking one step behind her and holding her hair off the ground (it was floor length in the dream and very shiny), and I accepted. It was an amazing job.
Two weeks ago my therapist tried to ask me what it might feel like to live in one room versus living in a whole house. I didn’t understand what she meant, even though the analogy is apt enough for what she wanted. I told her that I have always lived in all the rooms, that I’ve never been good at filling one and living within the boundaries of it. My mind paces. It never stops. I’m not sure I’d want it to.
What she really wanted to know, though, as we figured out, was the difference for me between being and inhabiting. That’s a stickier wicket and a harder question to answer. I’ve been trying to answer it myself for at least the last five years, but it’s something I was kicking around long before that. Long before I wrote the words:
You miss the way every little thing used to speak up and tell you that you were still here.
Am I still here? And if not, where am I? Does it even matter?
Friday I got home from work and couldn’t stand to be with myself, so I changed my shoes and went back out for a walk. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jacket and thought about what I was feeling, trying to pinpoint its brother feeling to see if I could find my way back to feeling like me. I think it was homesickness. Or something akin to homesickness.
Not necessarily for a place, though I think more and more about moving back to Florida and what it would mean for my future. If I would return as a failure who gave up or as someone who has learned about herself and is ready to move on. What would I move on to? What else is there?
I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. And I’m going to have to go back to my therapist tomorrow empty handed, with nothing but a couple of old poems and some snippets of the cyberpunk to show for this hollow personhood. Not that I haven’t been working on it. I have. I’ve written something every day. Some of the ruminations are long, many of them are unweildy. The shortest and most succinct of them reads:
Being is feeling your heart where it’s buried in your chest.
Inhabiting is thinking that the echo is coming from the floorboards.
And on some levels, forget who I am, I’m still stuck on why I am. Why are any of us? Why are some people love and some people fear and some people hope and some people violence? Why are some people messy and splattered in all of it? Is it better to be simple or complicated? Is it a virtue to know?
I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. This knowledge alludes me and taunts me. So I sit down with my paper and pen and try again.
Being is accepting the future as a promise, a dimension through which we all pass with no fault or hurry. To allow yourself to feel the weight of it. It is coming and it is welcome.
Inhabiting is pretending, like every new day is a happy surprise, like your time resets when you wake, living twenty-four hours at a time and defying the people who would love you to save them the trouble, to save yourself.
The true romance/tragedy is between Annie and Jerry, two Samwell students from the '80s who shared a dream of starting a business. Jerry leased a space that was in their price range, but after Artistic Differences, he and Annie realized that they couldn't co-own. She resurfaced a few years later with her own shop, toting some top-of-the-line espresso equipment and a squad of certified baristas. When they see each other at Stop 'n' Shop, all they can do is smile sadly and walk away.
oh nooooooooo one of them needs to say something so they can reconnect and fall back in love!
I’ve seen a lot of people stressed in the fandom today due to trolls sending rumours and opinions about actor’s lives to ask boxes. That sucks. This should be a safe place to celebrate SKAM, the characters, the actors and each other. Remember you can always hit the delete button and walk away. One of my friends says “sometimes you have to choose between being free and being right”. Walking away can be a powerful and freeing choice in situations like this. And then just go reblog the episode 5 bed scene 20 more times because that always cures any stress. ;)
How would the uf and us bros react to being super busy with work so they have no time with their SO and then one day walk in on them crying alone because they miss him
Really??? God how can he be so stupid?? Red rarely work. Sure he goes to “work” but really, he just sleeps until his shift is over. If he could get away with sleeping, he could get away with sneaking off to see you. But since he’s not the greatest with his emotions, he yells at you to stop being so clingy. This only makes you cry more so he just sits down next to you and hold your head on his shoulder, telling you how sorry he is. Red takes more breaks to be with you during the day.
Fell is torn between you and his work. On one hand, his job is very important to him and he is very meticulous about it due to his ambition, but on the other hand, you’re just as important, so he cannot choose. He doesn’t like it when you cry, so to compromise, he agrees to take a few days off to spend time with you and to figure out what to do. Finally, Fell has an amazing idea. With your consent, he wants you to work with him. That way, you and him can be together and you won’t feel lonely anymore. He hopes that you accept. He’s been missing you too.
When Blue finds you crying and hearing the reason why, it’s instant guilt. He apologizes to you over and over, even tearing up himself because you when you cry, he’ll cry too. When you two calm down, he makes a compromise. He’ll cut back his hours to spend more time with you, if you visit him during his lunch hours when you can. This arrangement pleases you both.
Oh honey, why didn’t you just tell him? Stretch will gladly cut back his hours to be with you. He’s a slacker, so he doesn’t mind. To be honest, he just took on the extra work so he can provide for you, but seeing that it makes you unhappy, he’ll stop. Stretch asks you to just communicate with him next time instead of bottling it all up.
One of the things that’s most bugged me about The Walking Dead from its earliest days is the casual way it assumes the characters we’re following are in the right, an idea it only fitfully interrogates. The world of The Walking Dead is one where there are only hard choices, but the show seems unwilling to really, truly contemplate the hard choices the characters make.
The Walking Dead season 7, episode 15: “Something They Need” displays the show’s biggest flaws. Vox.
Okay wait yeah, inspiration just struck me. I think I have a theory going here.
Now, it’s not outright 100% confirmed as of now, but it’s reaaaally obvious that the Homunculi are living, breathing Philosopher’s Stones. Greed and Envy have those telltale red sparks when they regenerate or shapeshift, and we saw Greed get melted down to a red liquid that was identical looking to Marcoh’s prototype he showed off to Edward way back when.
So if the Homunculi are made of Philosopher’s Stones, and the Stones are made of human souls…
And if all of Xerxes fell overnight, and one “survivor” walked out…
Hohenheim is made of Xerxes. The whole ancient race sacrificed at once. To make what I can only assume is Pride.
I must wonder why and how this happened to Xerxes. I must also wonder how Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Greed, Wrath, and Sloth were created.
But I think I should prioritize worrying what Hohenheim is currently plotting under Amestris. We already know the Ishval Genocide was closely related to Hohenheim’s plot, as Wrath ordered it to happen. And then Envy started the Liore riots (which we didn’t really see any conclusion of, mind).
And then… Edward, Alphonse, Izumi, and Mustang are “important sacrifices…”
MY HEAD IS SWIMMING. I HAVE ALL THESE PUZZLE PIECES AND NONE FIT TOGETHER, MAN.
one of the reasons i love lauren cohan is because it always seems that she is genuinely just as pissed and upset about glenn’s death as i am whenever it’s brought up, to the point where they have to ask if she’s okay when the topic is broached, and how she tries so hard to cover it, but her face just betrays her every single time.
In what world does a girl fall head over heels with Ashley over Rhett? Look at that charming, arrogant asshole balled up into a tailored suit of walking sex! In one sense Ashley was perfectly cast *acting-wise* because he was a whiny, pathetic useless lump of sheep shit that didn’t even deserve Melanie. Hell, I think Rhett treated Melly with more respect than her own husband. You almost wanted to root for him to run off with Melanie who always thought well of him when no one else did…. but he and Scarlett were tragically meant for each other. Why would either woman want Ashley? Sex appeal? HELL NO. Now, granted, Rhett is a dick, but he knows it and owns it. I have to at least respect that…. His spite, nastiness, jealousy and general assholery was more to cover up his fear of rejection/love/weakness. However, if a man spoils your rotten, gives you everything he has and is still hoping your might love him… kisses you like that and carries you up a flight of stairs and fucks your brains out… ugh, the other guy shouldn’t even be on your damn radar. Just sayin….
These separate moments of being were however embedded in many more moments of non-being. I have already forgotten what Leonard and I talked about at lunch; and at tea; although it was a good day the goodness was embedded in a kind of nondescript cotton wool. This is always so. A great part of every day is not lived consciously. One walks, eats, sees things, deals with what has to be done; the broken vacuum cleaner; ordering dinner; writing orders to Mabel; washing; cooking dinner; bookbinding. When it is a bad day the proportion of non-being is much larger. I had a slight temperature last week; almost the whole day was non-being.
had the hardest day he just could not believe they cast him as a
corporate hair with a fluffy cat and the role was basically him
playing Jumin Han.
his allergy was acting up all day since they had to use a real cat
for the show.
was so bad all he wanted to do was to get home and take a long hot
was so annoyed he even forgotten you wanted to come over and he did
not not close the bathroom door.
when you arrived just a bit later you had no idea that he was
showering and you where beat from your day too.
don´t hear the water running you just see the open door and you
opening it and then you see Zen.
he is completely naked and you blush and you stumble backwards while
mumbling weak excuses and you close the door on him.
walk into the kitchen to cool your self down with water from the
saw you and he wonders what is up so he comes to the kitchen with
just a towel around his waist.
are still very embarrassed by this look still but he just finds you
so cute that he completely forgets about his bad day.
just wants to cuddle you but unless you both want more he will have
to dress something.
promised him to help him to study today so you bring some soda and
snacks with you and head over to him.
is really stressed since their will me a huge test soon and he really
wants to do good on it.
can barely concentrate on the learning also he failed at a quest in
lolol and that really made his mood bad already.
feel so bad for him specially when you want to cook something for you
two and he forgot to buy anything.
you go and buy something for him while he still studies more.
you open the door back up you see Yoosung is topless and in his boxer
shorts and you are so embarrassed that you slam the door and Yoosung
gets just as embarrassed after he hears the door.
quickly dresses something and explains the situation while you where
gone Yoosung had opened the soda bottle and somehow the whole bottle
exploded all over him and made him completely wet.
feel bad for him and you both are still very embarrassed but you
believe him and it was really not that bad to see him half naked.
is always stressed and she barely sleeps
wanted to have a sleep over with her and watch some movies with her
she agreed on it and even said you should just use her keys to let
Jaehee knew she would be late but then she got even more work and it
got really late.
pass out on the couch at some point you wake up when you hear her
heads to the bedroom and start changing you just want to say hello to
you see she is in the middle of changing you say you are sorry and
head out the room while blushing.
gets in her pajamas dressed and comes back out to you Jaehee sees
that you are still blushing,
comes closer to you and tells you that you don´t need to be
embarrassed even when she thinks its really cute that you are
blushing from this.
since you both are up now you have a very late dinner together and
spend the night together.
he is on business trips he always makes sure that he does not wake
just comes and makes sure you are their and looks at you while you
are sleeping peacefully.
is really glad to come home to you and he can´t wait to tell you how
much he missed you when you wake up in the morning.
wants to take as shower before he joins you in bed so he goes to the
bathroom and undresses in their.
somehow wake up from a noise you think ít´s Elizabeth the 3rd
and you are not thinking deeper on it while you go to the bathroom.
open the door still half asleep and then you see Jumin naked and
ready to take a shower and you are blushing and you are heading back
out but Jumin calls you back in since now you are awake he wants to
greet you probably.
are still very embarrassed since he is still naked he finds it so
cute how you are blushing since you life with him.
he will definitely not let you sleep again.
slept at his place it had become quite common for you to stay their
but you where not yet living together.
you would sleep in the bed while Luciel was still working sometimes
he would join you but you where already sleeping most of the time.
was still getting used to a sleep schedule – what is this sleep
schedule you talking about-
you are already asleep when he comes in he changes right in front of
the bed while he only uses the light from the hallway to see.
just doesn´t want to wake you up but this night you wake up somehow.
is very stealthy with coming in and changing you cant even blame him.
are pretty much still asleep as you get up and then you stand up and
see Luciel pretty much naked standing in the entrance of the room.
barely lit from the outside but its enough to make you fully wake up
and then you blush heavily.
try to get back into bed asap and hope he has not noticed but of
course you are not stealthy what so ever and he sees you and he sees
that you are completely red in the face.
finds thins really adorable he comes to you and cuddles up to you but
you just so embarrassed that he has to dress something.
will defiantly use this against you soon – but tonight he is just
really tired and wants some cuddles-
Take a look at my
, I have headcanons ,writings and some drawings.
But he's not an EDM artist. He's collaborating with EDM artists. Why should his image be built around it, plus this predates EDM. I'd style him to show he's a successful, together, aware guy for a start and if he wants to wear trackies now and again great but do not make that his whole image. Right now, who cares if his streetwear is labelled/expensive? On top of the other stuff they've shoved on him. The GP see a tracksuit. They see a chav. Syco even had James Arthur say it just to make sure.
I say it should be built around the EDM world because that’s the world he’s immersed himself in. It would look pretty ridiculous if he was walking around in one of Harry’s gucci suits singing JHO. And like you said- it’s artists PLURAL. JHO isn’t a one off deal. We know for a fact he’s working with multiple EDM artists so for the time being, this is the world he lives in. Yes, he’s wearing a lot of trackies lately, but he’s also out there wearing St. Laurent jeans. When it comes to performing, I think his outfits have been appropriate for the venue. How is what he’s been wearing any different from Liam accepting a Brit in a sweatshirt?