walk a day in their shoes

Slytherpuff First Day back: 5th years
  • Hufflepuff: *Hogwarts Express stops* AH *jumps out and throws hands in the air* YES *spins around* I'M BACK! *runs toward the school with some friends trailing behind excited*
  • Slytherin: *steps down after her* Oh *shoe crunches on some stones and dirt* Nice *starts walking toward the school* Hm *watches Hufflepuff run off excitedly*
  • After watching the first years get sorted
  • Hufflepuff: Wow, that was adorable! So precious!
  • Hufflepuff friend: Yeah! They're so cute! Remember when we were that small, I don't think we were that cute. It must be an evolution thing
  • Hufflepuff: Hm..maybe
  • Ravenclaw: That's not even close to correct. The older witches and wizards at school when we were first years probably thought the same exact things you two are thinking after we got sorted.
  • Hufflepuff: *pats Ravenclaw on the head* Man! You're smart
  • Slytherin: *alone watching them while walking to the common room*
  • Hufflepuff friend: Hey, that Slytherin is staring at us...at you *points*
  • Slytherin: Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
  • Hufflepuff: Hey! Mister come back! *runs at Slytherin*
  • Slytherin: AH *gets knocked to the ground*
  • Hufflepuff: *dusting off Slytherin* oh my gosh! I'm so sorry
  • Slytherin: *gets up* Ah *glances down at Puff* it's okay *smiles shyly and walks away* You. Blew. It.
  • Hufflepuff: *watches as Slytherin walks away*
I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

Joseph Christiansen Secret/Cult Ending Manuscript

I went digging through the Level 18 gibberish and sorted out all the dialogue into a manageable manuscript if anyone is interested in reading this secret wild ride. None of the dialogue is labeled so I did my best to interpret who was saying what so any mistakes are my bad. It took a few hours to put together but I felt like some people would like more than just a summary so here is the full text:

MC will be short for Main Character or your player.

** edit 07/26/17: minor text fixes, better formatting, the insertion of more images (courtesy of purpledragon42) , and insert of a working readmore **

Level 18- Joseph Bad Ending or True Ending ( Who knows? )

This appears to take place after MC and Joseph Christiansen engage in sex in the yacht, except you don’t wake up to what you expect. This takes place in Cult_Dungeon1.

(Photo Credits: Game Grumps)

START: You’re A Monster

MC:

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. What time is it? Must have been asleep for ages. I wonder what will happen now that Mary is gone? What about Joseph’s kids? And how will Amanda feel about all this? That’s what matters… . Well, we all have each other. I guess time will tell, right? Better get up and greet the day.

Am I tied up?! What the hell?! How did I get here? What’s going on?! Joseph? Anybody?

You’re probably just dreaming. Why would there be a… Don’t panic… . a dungeon. An evil dungeon. Why would there be an evil dungeon here? This can’t be real. Maybe I had too much Twilight Rouge. I’m dreaming, or something.

???:

Oh, I guarantee this is real.

Keep reading

Just some Viktor Analysis for you kids, because you know I love it:

Figure skating, in general, is a Much Bigger Deal in the YOIverse than it is in real life. To the point where Viktor gets name recognition from people who don’t know anything at all about figure skating. I say this because I’ve been interested in figure skating my whole life, unlike I think a lot of the fandom (I could absolutely be wrong here, but that’s my estimate of the situation) and I learned very early on that Nobody Knew Jack About Figure Skating. Like I can name a total of TWO figure skaters off the top of my head who generally get name recognition–Kristi Yamaguchi and Michelle Kwan–when I talk about them to people who aren’t in the know. And even Kwan is a bit iffy. I can’t think of a single male figure skater whose name I could say in casual conversation and have someone say, “I totally know who that is.” I think this might be because the general population thinks figure skating is mostly just women, and also because figure skating really just isn’t on most people’s radar. This could be different in other countries, but even then I don’t think Viktor would have his International Celebrity status irl.

On the other hand, Viktor could just be one of those category-defying athletes who gain international attention because they are literally Just So Fucking Good at what they do. Think Michael Phelps or David Beckham. Nobody, in general, cares about swimming, but they sure do care about Michael Phelps. Everybody knows who David Beckham is, even in America, a country that doesn’t even have a real fanbase for the sport he plays. It’s entirely possible that at some point, someone realized that Viktor Nikiforov was Winning Everything and everyone got super curious over whether he would continue to do that–much like Phelps.

Also, Viktor is a very handsome European man, which probably helped a lot.

Either way, Viktor is an unusual celebrity who probably came up in the world very, very fast. As in, all attention was just on him suddenly one day. This probably happened somewhere around the 2010 Olympics, if you assume that Viktor probably hadn’t reached his full potential by his first Olympics, which was probably Turin 2006. I’m pretty sure Viktor Nikiforov stepped off the podium in Vancouver, suddenly a Russian household name and an international figure at an age where most people haven’t yet moved out of their parents’ house.

By the events of the anime, Viktor has been central in the public eye for over half a decade. He’s been TMZ’d and had a paparazzo follow him home, he’s done ads for sports drinks and athletic wear and shoes and cologne, he’s been put on diets–not Athlete Diets; Celebrity Diets; ‘eat four saltine crackers and a glass of coconut juice for two meals a day’ diets (Yakov put a stop to this quickly)–he’s had a publicist scream bloody murder at him over the phone because he did something stupid outside a club in Ibiza. One of my favorite ‘why Viktor cut his hair’ headcanons is that he had to cut it off because people kept pulling it in crowds, or trying to cut off pieces when he walked by.

These are not the typical experiences of a career athlete.

Viktor is a Celebrity Athlete, probably figure skating’s only celebrity athlete. There are probably a lot of people in the sport who don’t really even consider him an athlete, but at the same time he isn’t a movie star or a pop star, not One Of Us among the red carpet elite. Also, figure skating is unusual because it is an intersection of sport and performance. People get confused about where someone like Viktor lies on the athlete versus celebrity scale because he’s beautiful, he dresses up in costumes and performs to music. This isn’t football, or hockey or even track or swimming. Nobody is sure what Viktor Nikiforov is. He’s a creature unto himself.  His experiences are so drastically different from the experiences of everyone he knows that he literally has no one to relate to.

It creates distance. It makes him untouchable. 

And Viktor? Viktor is so fucking starved for genuine human contact and connection by the time he meets Yuuri that he’s willing to take himself halfway across the planet to get it.

With all of this known, can you imagine how powerful it was for Viktor to hear Yuuri say, “I just want you to be yourself, that’s all I need”?

It’s probably reason number one (of roughly ten thousand) for why Viktor fell in love with Yuuri.

The ways in which I will love you

1. Truly
I won’t keep writing cheesy love poems or keep complimenting you. I will say what I think and be verbal about things you can work on, about what I don’t particularly like because there will be somethings I won’t.

2. I will love you.
Why?
There will be no reason.
Not any particular thing but you as a whole.
So you can change and grow, you can progress and you can evolve. As long as you’re you at the core, you have all my love.

3. I will be open to exploring your interests.
I may not care about sports but if that’s something you care about, I will ask you to teach me and I will sincerely learn and take interest.

4. Whatever path it may be, you won’t walk alone. On rainy days, I will share my umbrella and on windy days I will not make fun of your hair. On sunny ones I will share my ice cream and when your shoes are worn out, I will stop with you and help you fix them. Or wait until you find new ones that are just the right fit.

5. I will accept and try to love your crazy family as my own. I understand how complicated and unbelievable families can be but I do know the base is always love.

6. I will give you all my maps and some flashlights too so you can go on to explore parts of me I don’t display. There won’t be anything you will not know if you want to. I won’t let you read my diaries but I will let you read my soul.

7. I will step out of the goof closet I have been living in all my life and show you who I really am and make you laugh and smile and blush and yell.

8. I will say yes to adventure and to crazy sexual desires and have long lists of my very own I will like to explore with you.

9. I won’t cook or clean and I won’t be sorry about it. But I will keep your heart fed and the dark corners of your mind clean.

10. I won’t demand your phone/social media/bank passwords because all I really want is to look in your eyes and know what you’re thinking, to touch you and know what you’re feeling and to love a person I know as well and as little as myself.
As little as myself is only stating the disregard for the expectations and standards of the society and people and the masks we are given to wear on every birthday.

11. I will love the lazy Sundays at home as well as all the days we forget what day of the week it is or what time it really is because we are lost in time zones, on airplanes and in between magic.

12. When we argue I will never not stay silent or keep anything on the inside. I will get it all out so that there is never anything ugly left to grow on the inside.

Tom Holland Blurb  |  Cuddles

Originally posted by tomhollandisdaddy

Summary; Dating Tom made you learn that he had several cuddly personalities. Here is a list of a few different types of cuddly Tom.

Warnings; None, apart from an explosion of pure fluff

First Tom Holland Blurb I’ve written so there’s more where this came from. You guys can send in requests :’)



Being able to call Tom your boyfriend, let alone the love of your life made you beyond happy. Over the course of your relationship, you had come to learn of the several types of cuddly Tom, each one better than before. 

Sleepy Cuddles

  • The two of you would be sitting at a quiet airport lounge, Tom significantly more exhausted than you because he had just finished up his press tour.
  • “I’m fucking knackered,” he would say letting out a big yawn. “Sleep for a bit, love. I’ll wake you up when it’s time for our flight.“
  • You’d be sitting with your back pressed against the armrest of the chair, legs bent over Tom’s thighs when he’d slowly start to lean on your chest, wrapping both his arms around you and snuggling into you.Your hands would automatically tangle themselves in his hair because you knew he loved it when people played with his hair, especially if that person was you.
  • “Comfy enough for you, sweet?” You’d smile, only being able to elicit a small hum of approval from Tom as he snuggled deeper into your chest.
  • With what ever little energy he has left, Tom would grab your free hand, bringing the back of it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to it, “love you darlin’”

Keep reading

Tweeter and Skeeter.

This is long, be warned. I live in a lowish income neighborhood. My little section is pretty nice, but if you go a few blocks in any direction, it gets pretty shitty. That means I’ve had a few run ins with skeevy meth heads and small time thieves.

This started when I moved in to my house. I noticed that on trash pick-up days, people would go up and down the alley where the trash cans go and dig through looking for recyclables. One of them was a guy I called Old Bob.

Old Bob lived a few houses down. He said he collected to buy presents for his grandkids. I don’t think the kids liked pints of Dark Eyes vodka, but he was harmless. So I started bagging up my cans separately so Old Bob didn’t have to dig through my trash.

Then, there were Tweeter and Skeeter. They would roll up and down the alley in a junky old truck with no exhaust that belched blue smoke. They looked like the after pictures from Faces of Meth. After they saw in was bagging cans for Old Bob, they started grabbing them. This didn’t sit well with me.

The next time I saw Old Bob, I told him I would leave my stuff just inside my yard, up against my shed, where you couldn’t see the bag from the alley. This went on for a month. Then, I heard and smelled Tweeter and Skeeter rumbling down the alley. I didn’t think anything of it, then I heard the rattle of a bag of aluminum cans being thrown into the bed of a truck. Those fuckers had gone into my yard to grab Old Bob’s drinking money. That shit would not stand.

I went to the hardware store; I bought a cheap pair of locks and some latches. I put the latches on my trash cans, I would unlock them when I left for work, which was about 15 minutes before the trash truck came down the alley. I also gave Old Bob a key. By this time, we were becoming downright neighborly. I would chat with him and have him help me around the yard and throw any spare cash his way.

After a few weeks, I heard Tweeter and Skeeter again. I heard them stop, then rattle the can lids, then drive off. I came out the next morning and the fuckers had pried the latches off my cans, and stolen the locks, too.

Now I was pissed. They were stealing Old Bob’s drinking money, and they had fucked with my shit. I stopped keeping cans separate, and started dumping used cat litter over everything.

Tweeter and Skeeter would still roll up to my trash area, but they weren’t willing to dig through shit to get anything. Old Bob was still helping me around the yard, so I would hands him bags of cans when he was over, in addition to the extra cash.

Everything was quiet for a few months. Then, we had a bad storm and the gutters on the alley side of my shed got messed up. They were in OK shape, but the underlying board and gotten torn up. It was too late in the day to do anything, but I figured Old Bob and I could take care of it the next day.

That night, I was woken up by Tweeter and Skeeters damn truck. But before I could throw pants and shoes on and chase them off, they were gone. So were the gutters on my shed.

Needless to say, I was fucking livid. After I calmed down, I went to Home Depot to get a new gutter. As luck would have it, I heard the fucking meth-mobile start up in the parking lot as I was walking in.

I wasn’t about to confront them directly, since I like having all of my blood and internal organs on the inside. What in did do, though, was get a good look at their liscense plates.

They were expired (of course) but the layer of soot from burning oil had obscured the sticker. You wouldn’t notice it from more than 5 feet away.

Finally, I had a way to get back at them. I called a relative who knew a few of the local PD. They said the address on the last registration was a house that had since been burned down in a meth lab fire. They never caught the cooks, but they going to keep an eye out for the truck. If nothing else, they would get a ticket and have to put current plates with a real address on them.

I was OK with this, but I wanted blood. I got my wish when the city did heavy trash pick-up.

I put an old grill in my back yard and scratched “Not Trash”, on the underside, along with spraypainting the smokestack white. Sure enough, Tweeter and Skeeter saw it and couldn’t resist. Once they had done that, I spent a few hours on a Saturday driving around the shittier parts of my neighborhood until I spotted my grill sitting in a yard.

I called my buddy with the police contacts and told them where they could find Tweeter and Skeeter and their un-registered vehicle, along with a stolen grill.

A few hours later, Tweeter and Skeeter came home to a few cops waiting for them. Since scrapping from heavy trash pick-up had been good to them, they were caught with a not insignificant amount of Meth and a lot of precursors to make more.

Tweeter has to serve out a 5 year sentence in prison. He also pinned the lab fire on Skeeter, who will be serving 10 years along side him.

Old Bob still helps me out, too.

agenderraskel  asked:

You call Steve "punk". Have you ever slipped punk clothing into his closet? Does he wear it?

well, he absolutely refuses to wear combat boots. which i find personally offensive, because i wear steeltoe combats almost every day. but steve insists that having tromped across most of europe in steeltoes and only being saved from trenchfoot thanks to the miracle of old-timey science, he will no longer wear combat boots unless theyre the custom ones that go with his cap costume. sorry. uniform. and that since sneakers exist in the future and are, and i quote ‘like walking around with old mrs mckinneys angel cake for shoes, buck, its great’ he will not be wearing boots if he doesnt have to. 

the day we talked him into skinny jeans was pretty great. have you ever seen a dog doing that high-step when you put shoes on them?? he looked like that for the first half hour or so. and then he tried to ‘jog’ up the tower lobby steps, and split his pants open at the crotch. 

it was a good day for the ladies (and some of the gents. you know. the ones who didnt immediately grow inferiority complexes) in the lobby of stark tower. 

it was not a good day for steve rogers. 

putting steve in any kind of plaid just makes him look like a lumberjack, not a punk. so that doesnt work.

steve cant wear black without looking like a vampire, hes so pale. but one time he borrowed my dont-touch-me black leather motorcycle jacket and managed to make that look badass for a little while. and then he let a little girl in central park facepaint a sunflower on his left cheek, which pretty much spoiled and sort of badass look he might have been managing. which wasnt much, because he was still wearing khakis. 

dork. 

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

BTS Reaction - Saying something hurtful to you out of anger

This will be a little angsty, with some fluff!

Masterlist

Keep reading

Damian ‘cockblock’ Wayne - Jason Todd x Reader

Anon - Can you do a Jason Todd x reader where Damian keeps cockblocking Jason and the reader (he sees the reader as an older sister/mother type of figure)

WORD COUNT - 1.4K

Summary - Sexually frustrated Jaybird seems to not be able to catch a break.

Warnings - swearing, make outs, reference to sex.


“God I want to kill Grayson…” Jason grumbled as he climbed through your apartment window, normally he would visit you during the day and take you out, but most recently he had been appearing in your apartment at ungodly hours of the night after patrol; he came over either just needing to feel you next to him as he slept, or just needing to feel you writhing beneath him, moaning his name as he showed you how much he loved you – he had been away for a couple weeks, patrol had practically taken over his life and all he was thinking about through those gruelling weeks was you, and how much he missed you and needed you.

“Baby? You better be ready to stay awake all night long…” He smirked to himself as he made his way to your bedroom, kicking off his shoes and throwing his leather jacket away in a random direction before swinging your bedroom door open. “Jay?” You whispered, eyes widening as you sat up and stared at him as he started pulling off his armour. “You have no idea how much I need you right now, if you thought you were sore the day after my birthday, god babe you’re not gonna be able to walk tomorrow.” He bit his lip, taking off the rest of the remaining clothing on his body, leaving him all bare before you. “Jay shut up!” you squeal, you did love his spontaneity but this was definitely NOT the time. “You won’t be saying that in a couple minutes…” He smirked, striding towards you and ripping the duvet from your body and revealing you and a certain someone else.

“What the-?! Why the fuck is demon spawn here?” He backed away, grabbing his boxers and pulling them on like the flash as he stared at little Damian, snuggling his face into Jason’s own pillow as he slept soundly. “Dami has been keeping me company since you’ve been gone!” You whisper-shouted, getting out of bed and pushing Jason out of the bedroom and closing the door behind you.

“I thought you weren’t back till morning?” you spoke “I couldn’t wait…” He spoke low, eyes darker than night as he grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around his waist and turning you so you were now against the wall; he crashed his lips onto yours impatiently, not wanting to answer any more of your questions. “Jay-mhpf” You tried to speak, but Jason clearly wasn’t having it as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, your tongues now fighting for dominance as he slid his hands into your shorts as he began groping your arse, taking you to the lounge area and throwing you against the couch.

You laid there breathless as Jason went back to his original position between your legs, kissing your neck and sucking onto your sweet spot beneath your ear as he grinded into you, Jason Jr clearly happy to see you; if Damian wasn’t asleep in your bed right now you would gladly go all the way to welcome Jaybird back home, but, he was.

“Jay- Damian might wake-“ “I don’t care let me show you how much I love you..” Jason purred, tugging at your shorts as he kissed your hips. “Y/N?” A voice echoed in the hallway “Damian!” You gasped, pushing Jason off of you and turning to look at Damian. “Fucking cockblock…” Jason groaned as he continued to lay on the ground where he landed, earning a side glare from you. “You’re insufferable.” Damian rolled his eyes at Jason and then turned back to you “I thought you had been kidnapped, last time I saw you, you were in bed with me so I was concerned. Anywho, continue whatever you were doing I’m going to get some water.” Damian spoke, nodding towards Jason before returning into the shadows and back to your bedroom.

“Now where were we…” “No Jay!” you giggled, pecking his lips before getting up on your feet. “What? He said continue!” He whined, pouting his lips out at you; god you wish you got that as a picture, because if you told anyone the mighty Red Hood pouted his lips out at you to get what he wanted, well, he would indefinitely deny and no one would believe you anyway. You shook your head, smiling to yourself “Oral?” he pleaded, watching your magnificent behind walk away from him as you rolled your eyes “five minutes in the shower?” He raised his voice “good night Jay!” you chuckled “Jerk me off?!” he shouted out, he really needed you right now, soon after he heard your bedroom door slam shut. “God I hate you demon spawn…” He groaned, collapsing onto the couch.



He glanced down to his crotch, sighing, he was literally throbbing; “what am I going to do with you now?”


The smell of pancakes and bacon filled the air, Jason nose twitched, waking up on the couch in the same position that he fell asleep, a mug of hot chocolate sat beside him. “Y/N?” He called out, stretching out his body and sitting up, rubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his dark hair before glancing to the kitchen, expecting to see you in one of his shirts… and ONLY one of his shirts… bending over the island in the centre in order to get something, your ass practically inviting him to come in.

Although, much to his dismay, he looked over only to see Damian sat the island eating, and you, fully clothed.

He sighed, standing up, earning a few cracking sounds from his back before groggily making his way towards you.  “Todd.” “Cock block.” They nod to each other, as Jason made his way towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist he smiles “good morning” you giggle, leaning back into his warmth as he hugged you from behind, he began to kiss the spot beneath your ear making you bite your lip.

“AHEM” Damian spoke up, making Jason groan against your skin, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Why is he still here?” He whines “Because he wanted to spend some time with me! You’re lucky he didn’t wake up when you were all lusty last night.” You chuckled “It’s not my fault that I wanted my girlfriend after weeks and weeks apart. I have no idea how people can wait till marriage.” he smirks, resting his hands on your waist and turning you around to face him, he tucks a stray hair behind your ear as he looks down at you lovingly, leaning his head down towards your lips. Just as he was only mere centimetres away from those lips he has wanted to taste for weeks,  Damian’s head pops up next to the two of you and his hair brushed against your cheek.

“I know you two are a couple but I care more for my hunger rather than that so Y/N may I have 2 more slices of toast?” He asks “Help yourself.” You smile, ruffling his hair before turning back to face your beloved boyfriend “GO HOME DEMON SPAWN.” He growls, earning a glare from you as you slapped your hand on his very broad chest “Jason!” you gasp “oh come on! my balls are almost as blue as Dick’s nightwing suit” he complained, hands gripping a bit tighter onto your waist.

“Todd could you refer to your genitalia more subtly, I’m trying to eat my breakfast” Damian sneers, biting into a piece of toast. “BEAT IT DEMON” “Maybe that’s what you should be doing” “DAMIAN!” you gasped, surely something like that shouldn’t come out of the mouth of someone his age. “What? It would make him less of a challenge to be around” “Dami! Go get ready I’ll take you out for ice cream!” you couldn’t help but let out a laugh, you did not expect Damian to say anything of that sort out loud, let alone think of it. “Tt” he rolled his eyes, retreating back to your room to most likely get a shower.

Once the coast was clear, your attention was now all on Jason.

“Couch. You have until you hear the shower stop to do what you want, I don’t care whether if you’ve came or not, when the shower stops, we stop.” You smirk “Ooo I love it when you take control sometimes” Jason winks, slapping your behind before dragging you to the couch.


“Y/N your shower seems to need fixing so I took it upon myself to call a – TODD WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING TO Y/N”


Not my best of works I must admit but I hope you enjoyed and if you would like to request just message me! 

TAGS

@darlingpeanut @brooke-supernatural16 @lostinspace33 @permanent-lines

When you have BPD, you have to exert at least 10x more effort than nt’s to be “sociable” and come off as normal as possible. Most of us are required to fit in as much as possible with society so we can keep our jobs. No one wants to hire the person who’s mood changes on a dime.

And you know what? That shit is fucking exhausting. I sit at a desk all day but when I get home I am completely drained. Putting forth so much mental energy every single day really takes it out of you.

A lot of people don’t understand that. I’ve been called “lazy” my entire life because I get so exhausted from faking it all day.

I wish people could walk a day in my shoes. I bet they wouldn’t call me lazy anymore.

Dream Daddy Cult Ending

Okay, so I’ve gone through Dream Daddy’s files, and have found the cult ending! I’m pretty sure you can’t actually get this ending, but I wanted to share it. I know I got frustrated trying to find it online.

CULT ENDING BELOW CUT

Keep reading

Watch Me Babygirl [10]

Summary: Jungkook is your brother’s annoying best friend. You can’t stand him but he just can’t resist teasing you. How far will he actually go?

Warnings: language

[pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3] [pt.4] [pt.5] [pt.6] [pt.7] [pt.8] [previous part] [next part]  [pt.12] [pt.13]


“Woah are you okay? You look tired as hell.”

You sighed, leaning your head against the cool surface of your locker door. You simply sighed, not in the mood to explain to Hoseok why you looked so exhausted.

You jumped at the sudden pressure on your shoulder and turned to look at Hoseok. He looked concerned and you didn’t blame him. In all honesty, it looked as if somebody had punched you in face. The bags underneath your eyes were gigantic and dark and you entire face was overall unnaturally gaunt.

“Hey if you don’t feel like dancing today you don’t have to. As long as you still feel up to watching…” he said, his tone soft and sympathetic.

“Hey maybe dancing will actually wake me up,” you replied, shrugging before taking a drink from your water bottle.

He nodded, placing a hand on either side of your head and squishing your cheeks in.

Keep reading

Mr. Yagi

Cowritten by @aoimikans


Ai worked front desk on the top floor of Might Tower with Hikari for nearly seven years. There were three staples of her usual day: a rabid group of ever-changing media personnel, All Might’s rooftop entrances and disappearances behind the Might Gate , and Mr. Toshinori Yagi.

Mr. Yagi was hired after All Might’s vacation following his fight with Toxic Chainsaw. It was rumored Yagi was replacing Sir Nighteye. His uncanny knowledge of every coworker - their birthdays, their favorite foods, the names of their pets - seemed to point to a similar quirk.  

The notion was quickly dashed due to Mr. Yagi’s poor health and his own round-about admission that he was Quirkless.

Regardless, the man was a fast friend to everyone in Might Tower.

“Good evening, Ai, Hikari,” Yagi greeted, exiting from his usual staff door. He carried a wide box, and he set it on the front desk with a grin, “Happy International Doughnut Day!”  

“Again Mr. Yagi?” Hikari said, giggling, “That’s the third obscure holiday this month!”

“Well, there’s plenty to celebrate,” Yagi chuckled, opening the box and offering the sweets inside, “Besides, you all work so hard. Might as well have fun every now and then.”

Yagi wheezed a laugh at his own joke and coughed, quickly reaching into his breast pocket for his handkerchief.  

Ai smiled fondly and nudged a box of tissues his way, “Thank you Mr. Yagi - oh! Is that a s’mores doughnut? Don’t mind if I do.”

Yagi grinned behind his handkerchief and took a few tissues, wiping his mouth and chin.

“Good choice,” he rasped.

Breaking News in Musutafu!

Yagi jolted, twisting to look at the large television screen on the lobby wall.

“Off to alert All Might?” Hikari grinned knowingly, munching on her own butterscotch doughnut.

“You know him,” He laughed, shaking his head and edging toward the Staff door, “No room for personal time.”

A giant villain is making an unwelcome splash at Ushimitsudoki Aquarium and Water Park.”

“No rest for the weary,” Ai said.

“Don’t I know it!” Yagi rushed to the door, pulling on his tie, “Keep the doughnuts!”

Keep reading

mr. sandman

[steve trevor x reader]

author’s note: most of the time when i write, i don’t plan for things to get that long but i always get carried away wtf. this happens with essays too i don’t understand. anyway, i think i kind of like this one, which is unusual for me to say of my stuff lol, but i do hope you enjoy

word count: 2,037

Keep reading

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.