waking up early it literally the only thing i hate about school

Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.

Making friends 

Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me

  • There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
  • Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
  • Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
  • If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
  • But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
  • If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
  • Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you! 
  • Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’. 
  • Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
  • Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
  • Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
  • Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
  • Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
  • Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.

Keeping your old friends

  • If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive. 
  • But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
  • You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
  • If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
  • Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.


  • Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
  • There’s so much space under your bed. UTILIZE IT.

Keep reading



Some people asked because of my TONGUE IN CHEEK POST about it the other night, well!!! all it is, is being consciously aware that you’re dreaming. You can kinda train your brain to do it and it’s fukken awesome ok!  I learned from a bunch of books I got out from the library one summer back in high school and I have kept up all the habits since then until shit got weird but we don’t talk about that

sometimes you get to a point where you can control your dream and force yourself to dream about a certain thing . either way it’s really damn neat to just have conscious awareness while you’re asleep and if nothing else, it’s something fun to do that doesn’t cost anything.

I got into it a few years before Inception came out, if you can believe it. So when that movie came out talking about the same ideas my mind was  blown 

First things first:


This is your ability to actually remember your dreams. Because imagine, even if you end up having a lucid dream,  what’s the point if you completely forget it as soon as you’re awake? Some people think they don’t dream anymore but it isn’t true, everyone dreams. Some people just don’t remember.

So Write down  all your dreams, anything that you can remember as soon as you wake up.

I just text it to myself first thing in the morning and usually they’re super disjointed and barely readable but it’s just enough to have me remember them again. even if you can only remember little snippets, the more you do this the better you can get at remembering.


Dream cues are these little things that make you realize you’re asleep because they differ between reality and your dreams. They’re kind of like triggers that will make you realize you’re dreaming. The idea is to check in on these cues even when you’re awake, so that when it becomes a habit in real life, it will become a habit when you’re asleep.

It’s also a good way to check if you’re actually awake because sometimes dreams are super realistic. I’ve had a lot of dreams where I woke up in my bed, then did the reality check only to figure out I was dreaming.

Different people have different ones but there’s some common ones:

-mirrors: In real life you look like yourself. in a dream you’ll look like a really distorted version of yourself or like a completely different person. I don’t recommend this one because what you see in the mirror might freak you out into just waking up lol

-counting your fingers and seeing more or less than the amount of fingers you have

-electronics that don’t work

-text that changes when you read it, look away and then read it again

-dim lights [i hate light dimmers for this reason eugh]

-loose teeth

My personal ones are the and fingers and the changing text! So in real life, I count my fingers, and read some text, look away and read it again to see if it changes.

If I have more than 5 fingers, I realize I’m asleep and that’s where the lucid part starts.

Personally for me, all of these have served as dream cues, but these two are the ones that i literally check on. Another big one for me is if my teeth are loose, it’s an automatic cue for knowing I’m asleep.


So you made a habit out of checking in on your dream cues and writing down your dreams. Now how do you actually do this thing….

There are some REALLY SPECIFIC METHODS To inducing a lucid dream . Some people practice one method that brings you from wakefulness directly into a dream, with NO LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I find this a little rarer but it’s definitely happened to me

Others have the method where you fall asleep as usual, end up in a dream, and then your consciousness wakes up while you’re in the dream. This is more common I think.

my sleep science might be off but this is it as I’ve understood it.

so the general method is to go to bed super early. like 9pm. And set your alarm for Stupid O Clock. I am talking some ungodly hour that you will never be up, like 4:30.

Reason being: You will literally never go to sleep and immedeitly start dreaming. You have to have been asleep for a few hours, having gotten a few sleep cycles in. The longer you sleep, the deeper your sleep cycles run and the more restful sleep you’ll have as the night goes on. It’s only in the later sleep cycles that you start to dream.

This is the reason you’re groggy in the morning [you were just in the middle of your deepest sleep cycle] but not groggy at all if you wake up at like 12

So the goal is to wake up right before you’re gonna go into a deep sleep cycle.

Stay awake for a few minutes, go to the bathroom or something, read some stuff on lucid dreaming on your phone… You want to wake up your brain so that your mind is conscious and running even though you’re dead tired.

Now you can go back to sleep, and the conditions are pretty much met for having a lucid dream.

SO GENERALLY NOW, it’s really likely that you’re gonna have a regular dream.

But if you’ve been making a habit out of doing your dream cues/reality checks while you’re awake, at some point you’re gonna do it while you’re asleep.

stuff from the waking world carries over into dreamtown. it’s the same reason you’ll have super realistic dreams about your job or people you know.

IT’S ACTUALLY SUPER COOL When you do your dream-cues and you see different results from real life. Like I’ll count my fingers and realize there’s 6 of them and be like Ohhh shit! I’m asleep! Time to go wild.

Usually I just fly around like a motherfucker but it’s so cool to be your exact same self who is able to think about your family/friends/homework/life/memes except you’re flying


OK SO NOW THAT YOU’RE AWAKE while dreaming, you can  try controlling your dream. This is a bit harder to explain but in my opinion it’s as easy as focusing/dwelling on what you want to do..kind of like repeating a mantra mentally.

Like lets say you’re dreaming and you come across a house. As you’re walking towards it, tell yourself “Captain Kirk is in this house and we’re gonna have the time of our damn life.” TELL YOURSELF WITH CONVICTION! BELIEVE IT! CAPTAIN KIRK IS IN THE HOUSE! OVER AND OVER!

also try practising controlling on little things first. Like point to the sky and say “brighter” or “more purple” or “bluer” or think “I want it to be night time instead" and it SHOULD change.


There’s 2 tricks I know of that will keep you in a dream for longer when you feel like you’re about to wake up and you don’t want to.

One is spinning: If you feel yourself waking up, try spinning around on the spot till you’re dizzy. Things will blur around you and then they will clear up and get super sharp! Especially spinning while crouching. I have no idea why this works, but it does and others have said the same thing.

The other is, when you feel like things are getting blurry, focus on ONE spot in the dream. I usually crouch and like, stare at the details and texture of the road really really close up. For some reason, pinpointing your focus on one little thing will refocus the dream.



Honestly the more you read about lucid dreaming, the more likely you are to have one for yourself..Even by reading this you’re more likely to have one. It’s weird, but it works. When I would regularly read books on the topic they’d say the same thing and it was true. It’s kind of like, the fact that you’re aware that it can happen makes it likely to happen..

SO YEAH, before you go to sleep or when you wake up at 4 in the morning, google it, see what others have to say. Get your brain in gear for it. there’s lots of posts online that will probably talk about the same stuff that I have here but this is my legit personal experience with it and stuff over the years.


This!!! This is the chance I’ve been looking for!!!

“So, even with everybody thinking you’re a bad ghost, you’re still gonna try to be the hero?”

“Well, somebody’s gotta. If not me, who’s gonna protect this town? Besides, it’s not like I can ignore a scream for help.”

I am so gonna talk about this boy I’ve been waiting for a good chance to talk about what a good, pure child he is and I am taking it now. Bless his heart I love him so much.

Let’s talk about Daniel James Fenton and why he deserves love and protection forever and always.

Keep reading

ashortasianfangirl  asked:

Can i request a hc where MC is the sister (younger or older, your choice) of RFA + minor trio?

This… is literally the latest request in the inbox and we basically never do the latest req in consideration of older reqs who have waited weeks/months… but this was really fun to imagine, and very simple to write compared to everything else!

It’s relaxing to do something simple like this once in while ^O^ Thank you for the request!!


Request Killing: 4/30

RFA as Your Older Sibling

Yoosung Kim

  • While he’s the childish one in the RFA, he’s an entirely different person around his baby sister
  • Although he slacks off on his own studies at college, if you mentioned that you had trouble with any of your own work, he would research the topics, learn it himself and teach you to help you understand
  • Always worried sick when you’re on trips away from home, even when it’s only for a day at a school trip
  • Tries to respect your decisions in relationships, and holds back his concerns, not wanting to overwhelm you
  • Calls when has time, but never too often, so he doesn’t disturb you
  • Basically, a very thoughtful brother
  • The type to spoil you at home, does your share of the chores, gives his servings of your favourite dishes and snacks
  • If you ever got lost, he’d run around frantically to find you—only to get lost as well, but he’d always end up bumping into you by accident. He’d never tell you that it was only an accident though, letting you think your older brother had magical powers that told him where you were
  • You stopped believing that as you grew older, but it still made you smile every time he found you


  • The overprotective, overbearing brother
  • Because to him, you’re his adorable little sister who is too cute for the world. …Besides, he’s really handsome himself. It’s no surprise those good looking genes run through you, too…
  • Always too busy glaring at other guys who dare to look at you, to the point he doesn’t realize how much attention he attracts from the girls
  • Tells you all the worst things about guys
  • “They’ll play with your heart, you shouldn’t trust them! I promise I’ll beat them up if anyone tries to hurt you, okay?! Seriously, men are wolves, please please please be careful…”
  • When you asked him if he was like that too, he spluttered before exclaiming, “NO! You can definitely trust me, baby sis. I’ll never, ever hurt you.”
  • Always worried about you. After he moved out, he would call you EVERY night
  • And before he moved out, he would be the one who picked you up from school and social gatherings, and he was almost always early, which upset you because you wanted more time with your friends
  • Bragged about you to everyone he met
  • He’d definitely regret talking about you so much to his co-workers though…
  • Very likely that he’ll bring you to his studio where you meet his co-stars… one of which, ends up falling for you completely and listens very attentively every time Zen talks about you… And you felt the sparks, and damn, that guy was pretty hot (he’s an actor, after all)
  • You’d keep going back to the studio under the guise of visiting your brother… when in reality, you went to check out his co-star… who eventually gave you his number…
  • Well, no one was surprised that Zen beat him up after finding out about your relationship
  • Still, Zen wanted his little sister to be happy, so he permitted the two of you to date. He swore that he would murder your boyfriend if he broke your heart but… hey, several years later and you were married.
  • Zen cried a lot at your wedding…


  • He’s always been bad with women because a lot, ahem, A LOT of women were after his family’s money… So he wasn’t completely sure how to act around you either, even though you’re his blood sister.
  • He definitely loves you a lot though, having grown up by your side. He’s just awkward expressing it
  • You’re the only girl in his life that he doesn’t mind because you’re his sister, so he babies you and treats you with utmost respect and care
  • Bombards you with gifts
  • Begs father to lend him money so he can buy expensive gifts that you’ve mentioned to really, really want
  • The first person to take you to the concert of your favourite artist—he hates crowds and he hates being in public because the family name follows him, but he’ll go for you
  • Would be against you studying abroad… but if you threw a tantrum with him, he’d give in
  • Panics when you cry
  • Pays the bodyguards to beat up anyone who eyes or touches you inappropriately
  • Whenever you’re out together, he has a protective arm around your shoulder
  • Being the children of the C&R Chairman, the two of you would have to attend a ton of formal business meetings and parties. He held your hand through every one, but as you grew older, it would be seen as ‘inappropriate’ so your arms would be linked instead.
  • A very loving brother, although he never expressed it through words.


  • People already saw Jaehee as a tough, independent woman… but they haven’t seen her around her little sister. Gosh, she was even tougher.
  • In public, she would send nasty looks at the guys who eyed you, snarling at them to turn their head
  • And she was ALWAYS ready to fight for you—you were the reason she learned judo. So she could protect you.
  • After all, your parents had died early on in your lives.
  • Started working early to support your education and living fees
  • She was a big sister that you greatly admired because she was so strong… When you were little, you wanted to be just like her
  • But Jaehee encouraged you to be yourself, of course.
  • Her door is open for you at any time, whether you need advice, a shoulder to cry on, or help with studying
  • Stresses about your exams and assessment results more than you do!
  • Prepares your lunch for school, and wakes up early to make you breakfast even though she sleeps late every night due to work
  • The only reason she takes days off is because of you—when you catch a cold, when you need someone by your side, your graduation, your appointments…
  • Always cared more about your opinions and preferences than her own—she’d make the food you like to eat even if she doesn’t like it much herself, or if you wanted to go somewhere, she’d go with you… And she would even drop her own plans for you!
  • As you grew older, you refused to let her keep sacrificing for you, and tried to depend less on her
  • She’d notice quickly and laugh, telling you that she loves taking care of you. “Haha, you’re so cute for wanting to be independent. Please, let me spoil you~”

Saeyoung and Saeran

  • They come in a pair, of course
  • Saeyoung’s the one who jumps on your bed to wake you up in the morning, which earns himself a scolding from Saeran every day. And a smack on the head. With a pan.
  • When Saeran gets a tattoo, he tries to hide it from you because he didn’t want you to get one as well… but you did, anyway, and he was there to hold your hand to endure the pain throughout the entire time
    • It would be a secret two of you kept from Saeyoung
    • Well, until he spies on Saeran in the shower and whines that he wants a matching one since they were twins…
    • Saeyoung would be very jealous that you’d left him out
  • Saeran was the “cool” brother
    • You’d go to his room whenever you just wanted peace and quiet, and he’d never question it
    • Has his music turned up, blaring through the house honestly, but you liked it that way—especially since it bothered the annoying brother
  • Saeyoung was always silly and overly cheerful, and you’d be embarrassed for your friends to meet him
    • He wasn’t all fun and jokes, though. When he didn’t feel like acting sunshiney, he was the type to lean against your doorframe and ask if you want to head out with him
    • And he’d drive you around the city, aimless. In those times, it was often quiet, but it was a nice silence
  • In public, he’d kiss you on your cheeks or your forehead, making others misunderstand that he was your lover
    • Which honestly he didn’t mind because he didn’t appreciate the thought of other guys hanging around you
    • But he didn’t have to worry about that
  • Because even if his falsely-interpreted affectionate, brotherly touches were ignored, Saeran would be there to scare the crap out of the guys who did try to approach you
  • Needless to say, you never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, all throughout your school years because of them
  • But you didn’t mind too much. They were already a handful to handle
    • Aka they were messy and annoying and you had to clean up after them at home while dealing with their occasional attitudes
  • But you loved them all the same


  • Spoils you so much, honestly
  • He’d look after you all the time
  • And if you ever broke something in the house, he covers up for you, saying it was his fault
  • Your parents would accuse him of being a bad child, but he was always happy about it because he was able to protect you from their anger
  • Even when you grew up and stayed out late with your friends, he’d cover up for you and make excuses to your parents
  • Whenever you could spend time together, he’d always take you somewhere that made you feel better. Often, it’d be a place you want to go to, except you never understood how he figured it out
  • When he finally got his driver’s license and car, he took you for a ride first
  • Never got a girlfriend because he was too busy worrying about you instead
  • You’d have to be the one to urge him to date
  • Teary-eyed at your graduation
  • Tutors you for your classes
  • Always made time for you, even if he was studying for important exams, or if he was a whole city away, or if you awoke him at 4AM in the night
  • Never raised his voice at you. Ever. He’d step in if anyone, your parents or even friends, dared to shout at you. He’d risk getting beat up, as long as you were unharmed
  • In fact, Jihyun got into a lot of fights because of you, even though he had zero fighting skills and didn’t even bother to raise a fist back at his opponents
  • You’d yell at him each time, crying because he got hurt again but he never blames you and it only makes you feel worse…
  • But he loves you, and he’d do anything to protect your smile.
Long Distance (Chapter Six)

Oh my god you guys, the fluff in this chapter is ridiculous. I mean honestly, we’ve basically lost any semblance of a plot and the three of them spend all their time texting and video-ing and it’s so fluffy oh my god.

Can’t wait to hear what you guys think lol

All the AMAZING ART for this chapter provided by my darling @latelierderiot​. I love her and you guys should too. Click on the links in the fic to see the pics, otherwise visit her page!!!!


Enjoy :)

{Group Chat}

From Bucky– Tony honey sorry I missed our video call this morning, had to be up early to help get the team on the road

From Tony– they don’t take you with them on the road? But who keeps the boys from eating cheeseburgers and getting fat instead of working out

From Steve– sweetheart, bucky is usually the one bringing the cheeseburgers. That’s why they don’t take him on trips anymore

From Bucky– I resent that. Anyway, babe just wanted to check in, I know you have a busy day today.

From Tony– not too busy to text you guys, no worries

From Bucky– that’s great. I was going to text you all day whether you were busy or not

From Tony– stuck in the office all day. Tried that new mocha mint drink from the coffee shop down the street and spilt it down the front of myself. Don’t have any extra clothes, so I get to sit in my office all day until everyone leaves.

From Steve– honey that’s awful! Can’t Pepper bring you a shirt?

From Bucky– I can’t stop laughing

From Tony– bucky you’re an ass

From Steve– bucky you’re an ass

From Steve– spending the day grading, no classes so I’ve got to get caught up

From Tony– that sucks, artist man. You definitely need to find something better to do with your time.

From Steve– why don’t you send me a picture Tony, maybe that will give me something better to do

From Tony– oh my professor. Should I wear my glasses and tie?

From Steve– oh honey, yes please

From Bucky– hey guys maybe take it off group chat if you’re going to start talking gross

From Tony– you don’t want a picture of me in a school uniform Bucky? My feelings are hurt.

From Bucky– does the school uniform include a plaid miniskirt? Cuz I’m on board for that

From Steve– Bucky! Omg Tony ignore him.

From Tony– I am completely scandalized right now. Scandalized and horrified. Who are these boys I’m texting? Deviants.

From Steve–…. On second thought, I don’t hate the skirt idea

From Bucky– hell yeah!

From Tony– wtf you two

Keep reading

Professor [R.L.]

Character: Remus Lupin
Word Count: 1138
Requested?: Yes/No
Summary: Y/n has a crush on her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, who has to decide whether or not to act on his own feelings towards her…
Disclaimer: Gif isn’t mine, credit to whoever made it

+ + + + +

The N.E.W.T.s were just around the corner, and the pressure was at an all-time high to do the best you could. Each and every one of your teachers had piled on the homework, forcing you to have to stay up late and/or wake up early to complete it before class.

You were stressed, there was no doubt about it, but you couldn’t help it. Here, sat alone in the library after hours, you were studying Defence Against the Dark Arts for the exam in literally two days.

If the wrong person caught you here, there would be no doubt you’d get detention. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about that right now - all you needed was to get all the information from the textbook into your head by Friday.

In the silence of the room, you were sure you’d hear the door opening and closing, or the footsteps of anyone walking inside. However, you didn’t even realise someone was beside your table until they spoke out.

“Miss L/n, are you okay?”

Your head snapped up quickly, your heart jolting at the sudden shock. When your eyes landed on your DADA professor, your felt your heart beating faster, “Professor Lupin! I’m sorry, I-I know I’m not supposed to be here right now. I’m just studying for the exam on Friday.”

The young professor nodded, taking a seat beside you, “You shouldn’t be working yourself so hard you know. You’re a bright student, you’ll do well in all your N.E.W.T.s.”

Student. Of course you were just a student to him, even if you wanted so much more. Ever since the young professor had joined the school, you couldn’t help but form a crush on him, and over the months you’d been in his class, that crush had only grown.

He knew. He knew from the first day that you had a crush on him, although you had no idea he did. He also had been harbouring feelings for you too, however pushed them away as it could never happen - a professor and a student? He’d be in huge trouble.

Shaking his head of these thoughts, Remus glanced over your shoulder, “What subject are you having the most trouble with?”

“Defence Against the Dark Arts,” you replied. But it was only because you were always distracted in that lesson.

“If you need extra help, I could give you private tutoring?” Remus heard the words come out of his mouth before he could stop them. He’d done so well throughout the year, keeping his distance from you. Why now?

You could feel a blush forming on your face, and you thanked the heavens that the library was quite dark, or you’d be even more embarrassed right now. “A-Are you sure? That would be amazing, thank you!”

Remus nodded, “Uh, my pleasure. Meet me at my office tomorrow at 5. Now, go and get some sleep, you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

You grabbed your textbooks and smiled thankfully at your professor. Hiding a yawn, you replied, “I will. Thank you again Professor Lupin.”

“Anytime, Miss L/n,” you heard him say just as you left the library.

Remus sat with his head in his hands. What had he done? He couldn’t get close to you now, after all this time of pulling away… could he?


You found yourself becoming more nervous as 5pm grew close. It was hard enough being in a classroom full of students with Professor Lupin all year without accidentally staring too long or admitting something out loud; being alone with him again would be even worse.

The wooden door opened as you knocked carefully, and you had to try and control your heartbeat as the professor once again came into view.

“Ah, Miss L/n. Come on in,” Remus said as he led you into the room. You sat down at the desk and brought out your textbook, placing it down in front of you. Remus sat on the opposite side of the table, and you had to force your cheeks not to turn red, knowing he’d notice right away. You hated the way just his mere presence affected you so much.

“What do you seem to be having trouble with?” Remus asked you. “A few different topics. Mainly the one about werewolves.”

How ironic, Remus thought as he nodded at you. “Then we’ll start with that.”

It was an hour and a half later when you finally got through everything you had been having trouble with previously.

“I think I understand more now, thank you professor,” you spoke as you closed your textbook.

“You don’t have to call me ‘professor’ anymore, Y/n,” Remus told you. The way he said your name sent shivers up your spine.

“After tomorrow, I’m no longer going to be your professor. Call me Remus,” he said with a small smile.

“Remus,” you had to try and clam your heartbeat down again, “Okay well then, thank you Remus, I’ll try to make you proud tomorrow.”

You stood up, starting to head to the door when you heard him call you back. “Y/n wait!”

“Hmm?” You turned back around to look back at the professor. He appeared conflicted as he hesitantly stepped towards you, and when he stopped in front of you, he was so close you could have sworn you could hear his heartbeat.

The close proximity made you blush for the umpteenth time in a couple of hours, but before you could say anything, Remus’ hands were holding your waist, and his lips were on yours

It was strange, kissing him, but you loved it all the same. Finally you had gotten the one thing you’d wanted since the moment you stepped into his classroom back in September. Him.

As he pulled away, he couldn’t bring himself to look into your eyes however his hand was still wrapped around yours, fingers intertwined

“Whatever grade you get, whether it’s a Dreadful or an Outstanding, you’ll still have made me proud, Y/n,” he whispered softly. Your gaze was focused on your hands, a smile playing at your lips.

You placed a kiss on his cheek as you slowly pulled your hand away from his. “I’ll see you after the exam,” you said biting your lip slightly.

Remus nods, and you began walking out of the room again. He sighed to himself, but there was a smile on his face.

When he took the teaching position, he never expected to have a student quite as beautiful, as extraordinary as you were. But even so, he was thankful that you had stepped foot into his life. Because now he wasn’t your professor any more, he wasn’t going to let you leave so easily.

He loved you, he realised, and he wasn’t ready to let you go just yet.

if you met her buns ❖ chanyeol

anon requested: Could I request a Chanyeol dad scenario? Chanyeol’s partner coming home see Chanyeol getting his daughter ready for school & struggling to tie her hair. Thank you so much!😊💚 

(gif not mine, cr to the owner)

707 words | fluff, slice of life, dad! chanyeol | velvet

✎ When work calls you can’t say no, but at least when you come back home your husband and your daughter gift you with the most beautiful panorama.

Keep reading

‘Why aren’t you dead yet?’ / Ethan Dolan

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Obviously language

Word Count: 2,798

Summary: The reader and Ethan are at an all time low with their relationship, constantly fighting, their relationship going nowhere. The reader has constant flashbacks of their happier memories, which always ends in a new argument but this time she’s had enough. 

Ethan Dolan x Reader

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this because I went to the extremes with this imagine. xx Also, the anon requested this song to kind of relate to Dead by Madison Beer so give that song a listen. xx


I threw my head back against the couch, running my fingers through my hair. I looked around the small apartment, rolling my eyes at the amount of beer bottles on the table. I blinked away the tears that almost fell for probably the fiftieth time tonight, but I was slowly not caring anymore. I pushed myself up off the couch, slowly walking back towards my bedroom, my head hanging lower than ever. 

I leaned against the doorway peering at the sleeping figure in the bed. 

“I promise I’ll never drink, baby.” Ethan left a kiss on my forehead making me smile.

“Please don’t, it’s a terrible habit to break.” I murmured thinking back at my past memories.

“I promise.”

I wiped away the tears that had fallen down my face. I walked towards Ethan picking up the few bottles by the bed. Tears started dropping on the floor making my vision blurry. I turned around and walked away, my body shaking from the sobs leaving my mouth. 

“Quit Ethan!” I screamed, trying to pry his fingers off my side.

“No! You’re so adorable when you’re being tickled!” 

I threw my head back in laughter, soon feeling Ethan kissing up my neck, placing his plump lips onto mine, making me smile. 

“I love you.” He murmured, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I love you.”

I tossed the bottles into the trash can, going back into the living room to collect the rest of the empty bottles. 

“I love you, y/n, I really do.” My eyes widened, my mouth slowly dropping.

“A-Are you serious?” I stammered.

“Of course. You’re the one for me, I know this for a fact.”

Ethan twirled the spaghetti onto his fork, shoving it into his mouth. We were on a date for our 1 year anniversary. I smiled as the boy continued to shove spaghetti into his mouth, not having one single worry in the world.

“I love you.” I whispered, earning a smile from him. 

I leaned against the counter, my breathing getting out of control. I put my hand up to my mouth, muffling my sobs. I can’t believe our one year date was two years ago and now we’re here, arguing every night. I wiped my eyes, throwing the rest of the beer bottles away. 

I walked back down the hallway heading back to the bedroom, dreading to see him. I peered in the doorway, Ethan was laying on his back with his phone in his hand. I rolled my eyes, walking past him to the bathroom.

“Where have you been?” I questioned grabbing his dirty clothes off of the ground.

“None of your fucking business, y/n.” 

I just nodded my head not even wanting to argue with him, it was pointless. 

“You obviously came to my place for a reason. You’re normally out doing stuff with Grayson.” I leaned against the wall crossing my arms.

He threw his phone down on the bed, sitting himself up slowly. 

“It’s none of your business on what I do with Grayson. God you’re so fucking annoying.”

I shook my head and exited the room. Ethan always comes by when he’s lonely. He always packs beer in his car and brings it in when I give him what he only wants, sex. 

There was a knock on my door bringing a smile to my face. I walked to the door, peeking through the peephole, automatically opening the door. Ethan was standing there with a dozen roses and chocolate in his hand. 

“I knew you was having a bad day so I decided to get you this.” 

“Why thank you.” I took the flowers and put them in a vase, inviting Ethan into the living room. 

“How was your day?” I asked popping a chocolate into my mouth. 

“It was pretty amazing. Grayson and I were able to have a little meet and greet with some fans down in Los Angeles.”

Ethan talked about his meet and greet for another thirty minutes but I didn’t care, it made me happy when he talked about his fans. Him and Grayson worked hard to get where they’re at. 

I rubbed my forehead and looked at the clock; 5 o’clock in the morning. I let out a big sigh, staring out the window. I heard Ethan stomping through the house, probably trying to keep his balance. Another tear slid down my face making me shake my head. I hated being weak but that was my only choice anymore. I was so tired of trying with Ethan but I loved him too much to let him go. 

“I’m going to head back home before Grayson wakes up.” I looked over an saw Ethan leaning against the island. 

“Ok.” I whispered rubbing my face.

I heard him sigh, “I love you, y/n, I really do.” 

All I could do was nod my head, I couldn’t say it back even though my heart was telling me to say it back but it was also slowly breaking. Ethan grabbed his keys and left slamming the door, but I couldn’t even flinch. I watched as he opened his car door, his eyes locking with mine through the window. I shook my head, walking away from the window. 

I sat beside Ethan in his editing room at the warehouse. He always felt more comfortable and less stressed when I was there. I always rubbed his back and massage his scalp, feeling like my work paid off when I saw goosebumps rise on his skin. 

“I love you, baby.” He mumbled, his eyes still fixed onto the screen. 

“I love you.” I whispered leaving a kiss on his shoulder. 

I twirled a strand of his hair between my fingers, watching him replay the same scene over and over. He was editing their extreme laughing challenge, he told me the whole video was amazing but I couldn’t pay attention so I could watch it Tuesday. 

I let out a big sigh, falling back onto the couch. I miss him so much. I miss his laugh, I miss hearing that beautiful sound every time we watched a funny movie, or even when Grayson did completely stupid, or a fan made a funny edit of the twins, but now, I hardly hear it, only when I watch their new videos on Tuesday.

I turned on my tv, trying to drain out the silence echoing out through my apartment. I checked my phone, I had  a text from Ethan but I truly didn’t feel like answering it but I know I had to.

Baby, please get some rest. Idk if i’ll come by tonight. I’ll text you if I do. Love you. xx

I tossed my phone back onto the couch, laying down on the couch, pulling a blanket on top of me. I cried out, not caring this time. I want Ethan back, I want him back so much and I know I won’t. 

I felt my phone buzz against my leg making me groan. 

“Hello.” I mumbled.

“Hey y/n! How’re you feeling?” My friend yelled through the phone.

“Dude, what’re you doing up so early?” I groaned. 

“It’s nine in the morning.” I glanced at my phone, I guess I was too deep into my thoughts. 

“Oh, um yeah, I’m feeling okay I guess.” 

“Do you want to go get breakfast and talk about it?” 

I sighed, “Sure.”

“I’ll be there in 10!” She hung up. 

I threw the blanket off of me and trudged to my room, stripping from my clothes. I threw on a pair of ripped skinnies and a plain t-shirt. I quickly looked at my hair, scrunching my nose up at the mess. I rummaged through the pile of beanies that Ethan left at my house, choosing a plain black one, sighing at the smell of his cologne. I slipped on my high top vans, rolling the bottom of my jeans. I walked into the bathroom and quickly applied makeup.

Here! xx

I checked myself once more before heading out the door. I don’t ever want to go out anymore, I feel like a heavy burden is on my shoulders. This whole Ethan thing has been happening for a couple of months but it constantly gets worse. 

I opened the passenger door sliding into the seat, automatically getting engulfed in a hug. 

“I’ve missed you.” I mumbled into her shoulder. 

“I’ve missed you.” She rubbed my back which was the most comforting thing I’ve had in awhile.

“Baby, coffee and pancakes doesn’t sound good together. Why don’t you get milk or oj?” I laughed as Ethan was shoving a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. 

“Coffee has been my best friend since middle school.” I took a sip of my coffee, taking a bite of my pancake. 

Every Friday morning, Ethan and I would go on breakfast dates, getting the same thing every time but Ethan always got new toppings or flavor of pancake each time. This time it was chocolate chip pancakes with chopped up strawberries and bananas as the topping. 

I looked out the window, watching the views go by and my friend telling me all her work gossip. I knew once we got to the little diner that the whole time she will want me to talk about Ethan. 

She parked outside the diner, the same diner Ethan and I use to come to. I blinked back the tears and got out, getting another hug. I kept my head down as y/f/n asked for our table. The hostess took us outside under a cute umbrella. I ordered my usual drink and y/f/n ordered oj which made me think of Ethan. 

“So how is everything going with Ethan?” I let out a sigh.

“The usual.” 

Before she could answer, our waitress came out with our drinks, the same waitress every Friday morning. 

“Oh hey, y/n! How’re you doing?” She was an older lady, probably in her sixties. 

“I’m fine.” Hardly. “How’re you?”

“I’ve been very well. Where’s Ethan?” 

“He’s with his brother.”

“I haven’t seen you two here lately, hope the tradition continues. I miss you too.”


She walked away leaving me there with tears in my eyes. 

“Do you think he’s willing to work it out?” 

I shook my head no. I know he was tired of me, I could literally feel his hatred towards me. 

“Y/n, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me about it.” She grabbed my hand, rubbing the back with her thumb.

“There’s nothing to talk about, y/f/n. He just doesn’t care anymore.” 

The waitress came out with our food. Y/f/n kept trying to talk but all I wanted was to leave. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it but I felt like I wanted to scream every single problem it was causing me. 

We finished our food and left a nice tip because I genuinely loved that lady. Y/f/n didn’t speak to me on the way home, but I don’t blame her either. She dropped me off, giving me a quick hug and telling me she loved me but I felt like no one loved me. 

I walked back to my bedroom, tossing my shoes into the closet, stripping out of my clothes. I started the shower and stepped in, the warm water sending goosebumps all over my body. 

“Baby, we should take a shower together.” Ethan mumbled, tracing his fingers across my back.

“Really?” I laughed, earning a low chuckle from him.

“I’m being serious.” 

I felt the bed shift then Ethan’s arms were wrapped around my stomach, removing me off the bed. He sat be down in the bathroom and ordered me to strip. I removed my clothes and fixed the water just right, turning around smiling at the view in front of me. 

Ethan gave my ass a quick squeeze before getting in the shower. I rolled my eyes and followed him in, automatically drooling over his body dripping wet. Ethan pulled my body into his, leaving a kiss on my forehead.

“Let me wash your hair.” He yelled.

“Sure.” I turned around and felt him grab my ass once again. “Quit it!” I yelled slapping his stomach.

“Can’t help it.”

Ethan ran his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp. It felt wonderful until he got fucking soap in my eye.

“Oh my god, Ethan! You got shampoo in my eye!” I shoved him out of the way and put my eye under the shower. 

“Baby I didn’t mean too! I’m so sorry!”

I laughed, rubbing my face with one of our washcloths. 

“It’s fine, just let me finish.”

I laughed, running my hand up and down my arm. 


“In here!” I yelled back, my heart already dropping.

“I’ll be in the living room.” 

“Obviously.” I mumbled washing the conditioner out of my hair. 

I washed my body, finally feeling relaxed. I ran my face under the water once again before turning off the water. I stepped, wrapping my body in a towel, walking out into my room. I dried my body off and put on clothes, towel drying my hair right after. 

I looked at myself in the mirror; bags under my eyes, my eyes were paler than ever and so was my skin. I even looked skinnier than normal. 

I opened the door and walked into the living room, Ethan was sitting there with a beer in his hand.

“Why’re you drinking so early?” I mumbled.

“It’s fucking seven in the afternoon.” He grumbled taking a swig.

I looked at the clock and sure enough it was. I walked over and sat down beside him. I glanced down at his hands, wishing they were laced with mine. 

“I wasn’t going to come over but I missed you.” He mumbled looking over at me.

“You don’t miss me.” I mumbled shaking my head.

“What do you mean?” 

I just shook my head and got off the couch heading towards the kitchen.

“Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you!” 

Ethan pulled my wrist, turning me around, coming face to face with him. 

“What’s your fucking problem?!” I yelled jerking my hand away.

“You can’t tell me how I feel! You never ask anyways!”

“Oh, I never ask?! All I do is sit at home and wait for you to text me about your fucking day but you come to my house and trash it with your fucking beer bottles!”

Ethan’s jaws clenched, his knuckles getting whiter the more tighter he gripped onto the bottle.

“That’s not true.” He growled.

“Yes it is! The only reason you even come here is because Grayson doesn’t like you drinking! You don’t fucking care for me anymore!” I was choking on my sobs but somehow I got that out. 

“That’s not fucking true!” Ethan slung the bottle smashing it against the wall. 

“Get the fuck out of my house!” I screamed pushing him.

“No, y/n! I can’t live without you! I don’t just come here because I can drink! I still fucking love you even after all our rough times! You’re still my girl!” Ethan stepped closer but I quickly pushed him back, trying to blink away the tears. 

“You say you can’t live without me but how’re you still breathing? Why aren’t you dead yet? You gave up on me four months ago Ethan! Four months ago! I’ve been getting no sleep hoping one day you would apologize but four months is too long. Please, please get out of my house.” I looked down, the smashed beer bottle becoming more interesting than the drunk in front of me. 

“No y/n! We’re going to talk about this!” 

“What is there to talk about Ethan? You only come here when you’re lonely. You haven’t even been completely sober around me in months and I’ve missed the old Ethan. The Ethan before he started drinking, the Ethan who loved me unconditionally and actually took the time to make sure I was alright but now it’s me, making sure you’re not dead from drinking too much fucking alcohol! I’m so tired of taking care of you and having this heavy burden on my shoulders thinking you’re busy being with another girl and i’m at home waiting for maybe a sober call. Just get the hell out of my life, Ethan!”

I looked up, making eye contact with him. 

“You don’t mean any of that.” He whispered.

“I do.” Tears were falling down both our faces.

“Do you not even wanna work it out?” 

“What is there to work out Ethan? I’ve tried for four months. I’m completely drained, I can’t fight no more.” 

Ethan rubbed his face, muttering cuss words. He started pacing back an forth, which was something he did when he was upset. 

“Please y/n please! I can’t live without you!” He grabbed my face, smashing his lips against mine but I had no power to kiss back. “No, no, no, please y/n!” His tears were dropping onto my cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Ethan.” I pushed his hands off my face. 

He backed up, grabbing his car keys from the table and left without saying goodbye. 


Google Doc - E.D. Pt. 1

Summary - You have an 8 AM lecture with a guy who also has no idea what’s going on. You agree to make a Google Doc together to try to make some sense of the class but end up flirting with each other more than comparing notes.

Warnings - none, just a lot of shameless flirting

Word Count - 540

When you were in high school, people had always warned never to take a college class earlier than 9 AM. 

Keep reading

college boyfriend!mark;

Originally posted by mayfifolle

  • soooo mark strikes me as the type of guy you’d wanna date in your early twenties
  • he’s like the sweet gentle type that you date for a long time, take home to your parents, plan your future out with ya feel
  • unlike the rest of my boyfriend scenarios, i really like the idea of mark being like normal mark
  • not famous, going to school mark
  • now you meet mark bc you two happen to take a really obscure class together
  • like,,, there’s maybe ten people in the entire class (you’re kind of lost as to why it even exists tbh)
  • but hey, it’s the only alternative for another class you didn’t make the roster for, so you’ll take what you can get
  • on your first day there, there’s only like three people in the entire lecture hall so you’re confused af
  • you end up walking up to the first person you see and you’re like “yo, i’m here for my class but i think i have the wrong place”
  • the person’s head is hung down as they write out something in their notebook
  • but then they look up
  • you’re momentarily shocked by how pretty this person is bc like… damn
  • he smiles like “oh hey, yeah this is the place. don’t worry, it’s this small all the time. i’m mark” 
  • and he holds his hand out for you to shake and as soon as you touch palms you have to hide your shocked expression bc!! boy has some soft ass hands!!!
  • besides the callouses on his fingers his touch is as gentle as his smile
  • you tell him your name through a strangled breath and he repeats it to himself before smiling at you again and you’re still trying to figure out how someone could be this nice and beautiful
  • “do you want to sit next to me? i can help you catch up on anything you need help with” he offers, but he’s already pulling out the seat next to him and how could u refuse hah..haha
  • you plop in that seat so fast
  • you two end up going over his notes for all of three minutes before he starts inquiring about you and your major and your plans for the future
  • in fact you two are so lost in what you’re talking abt that you only realize the professor is there when she drops a book on yours and mark’s desk with a raised eyebrow like “yall done”
  • you and mark are blushing so hard lmao
  • throughout the whole class tho, you can’t really focus on anything besides mark beside you
  • you notice every time he moves, or every puff of breath that leaves him when he’s focused on writing down the professor’s words as she barrels through her lecture at lightning speed
  • when the class is over, you’re all over the place bc you only managed to capture half of what she said and you couldn’t put any of the information you had into something comprehensible
  • you stand next to your desk with a pout on your lips, not noticing until his breath is on your shoulder that mark is peeking at your notes
  • “that doesn’t look very… that isn’t exactly… do you need some help?” mark is so disheartened looking at your notes that he literally can’t help offering his own to you
  • but you’re so thankful and you’re like “thank you thank you!!! how can I repay you?”
  • and mark is pretty adamant that you don’t need to pay him back, that he’s just being a helpful classmate, but then as you’re taking pictures of his notes he just,,, “do you wanna go on a date? i-i mean a study date. you know. to study. the material. for school”
  • of course you can’t say no to the cute blush on his cheeks and the stutter in his words and omg is he biting his lip what the fu
  • “totally!! i’ll give you my number and you can text me whenever you’re free” 
  • you two exchange numbers and you’re on your way
  • this turns out to be a mistake bc it’s only twenty minutes later when you’re headed to your next class and all you can think about is him
  • your hands keep fiddling with your phone and even your friend in that class is like “are u good”
  • you wanna text him so bad tbh but like you dont want to be weird or anything
  • and then like as soon as you get out of class to go get lunch your phone buzzes and you nearly get whiplash from how fast you look at your phone
  • mark: are you busy later? its never too late to start studying
  • i mean… you just got out of that class like two hours ago but oF COURSE MARK YOU’D LOVE TO
  • you’re not even surprised when the entire study date turns into you two just getting to know each other
  • he tells you about how he loves music, how his roommate jackson is always trying to get him out of his shell and it kind of hits you that mark isn’t the type to do things like this
  • the fact that he’s stepped out of his comfort zone to hang with you is so endearing that you kind of just sit your chin in your palm and watch him lovingly as he talks about his interests and you’re pretty sure “i’m so attracted to you??” is written across your forehead but you don’t even care
  • at the end of the date, he walks you back to your dorm, and before you can disappear into your room, he grabs at your hand gently
  • his hold is unsure, but he looks determined, even if he’s incapable of making eye contact
  • “was it just me or was today more of a date than it was studying?”
  • you just nod, your smile widening as he rubs the back of his neck when his palm grows sweaty in yours
  • “would you… maybe like to do that again? the date part of course. i mean we can study too if you’d like, honestly as long as we’re hanging out-” “I’d love to mark”
  • it’s official, you’re dating!!
  • you’re surprised how quickly you fall for mark too
  • weeks pass and you two basically spend every waking minute together
  • if you aren’t physically beside each other, you’re texting, or calling, or thinking about the other
  • while you two haven’t had the talk abt official titles, you secretly look at each other like that
  • it’s only evident one day when you’re talking to jackson, in his and mark’s dorm room while mark gets dressed for your date
  • jackson is telling you how he’s known mark for a while now and he’s never seen him act the way he does when he’s with you
  • “i think he’s really serious about you… but are you serious about him?” jackson asks, and you can’t hate him for asking bc you know how protective he is of his best friend
  • but his question is so out of the blue that you take a minute to think about it, your mind kinda lost on you as you try to think up a satisfactory answer
  • and then it all becomes clear to you, like a cloud parted over your feelings
  • “i’m really serious about him. it’s early but… i think i really want to be with him for a long time. he makes me feel so warm and happy and he’s not like any guy i’ve ever known. i feel like mark… is the one”
  • and then a smile cracks across jackson’s face before he turns his head to something behind you, and you turn your attention over your shoulder to see mark smiling with literal stars in his eyes 
  • “you were right mark. she passed my test”
  • when you realize what’s going on your cheeks immediately start burning, and you deliver a few blows to mark’s shoulder but even through the pain and complaining he can’t stop how happy he is
  • he keeps the cheesy smile the whole night oml you have to kiss him just to get him to stop
  • besides mark being the cutest boy ever he’s also a little (big) shit
  • always playing some kind of a prank on you
  • one time he convinces you he’s turned your favorite white sweater green with a picture of said sweater looking bright lime 
  • and you’re so mad but he just smiles at you and flutters his eyelashes like “im sorry, you still love me right??” 
  • and of course you’re still mad but you reassure him with a forehead kiss and then he laughs and goes “i didn’t ruin your sweater, youngjae helped me photoshop it so it looked like i did”
  • he gets so many bruises that day
  • but his friends make up for it by teasing the shit out of mark
  • his friend jinyoung has a plethora of embarrassing stories about mark that you could just sit there for hours listening to how mark broke his finger playing bop it
  • mark’s youngest friends, dance majors yugyeom and bambam and computer science major youngjae see mark as the older bro of their friend group as mark is the oldest, so they kinda see you as their older sister
  • therefore, you are not unaccustomed to unannounced visits from the three at all hours of the day
  • yugyeom is always asking you to criticize his dances, bambam always asks you to help him study, and youngjae honestly just comes over to sleep bc his roommate is super loud and he never gets a moment of peace
  • in return, you use them for everything
  • all you have to do is say “do this” and they’ll do it bc they love u so much and they have to pay you back somehow for how much they bother you
  • even when mark is over and you two are trying to have some time alone they’ll still stop by and won’t leave despite all the urging to
  • the amount of times you have to call either jaebum or jinyoung to save you has gotten out of hand
  • but even then you don’t mind bc honestly they’re like family to you now, and you love them too much to ever hate being around them
  • in turn, mark is really aware of how special you are to him and he makes sure he lets you know
  • if you’re sick, mark is skipping all his classes to take care of you
  • even if you protest he cannot be persuaded
  • if he really can’t miss a class or has an exam tho, he’ll send one of the boys to take care of you and of course they do so at the drop of a hat
  • makes sure you’re caught up in schoolwork, and always offers to help you study for big tests bc he knows you have a hard time doing so by yourself
  • if you’re too lazy to go grocery shopping he has no prob going out and doing it for you
  • he’s just such a doting bf like he doesn’t mind doing whatever you need done
  • even tho he doesn’t always say “i love you” with words, you can tell just by how he treats you
  • he says i love you when he asks if you’ve gotten enough sleep in the middle of class, and when you shake your head no, he lets you nap and promises to explain the lesson to you later
  • he says i love you when he makes you dinner bc he knows you’re too busy with homework to make it for yourself
  • he says i love you in all of his own little ways
  • but when he does remember to say it, it’s always said with such warmth and fondness that you have to take a second to collect yourself from the utter cuteness before you say it back
  • overall, mark is a loving, caring bf and he’s the best never let him go

other boyfriend!got7:



Anything For You, My Love.

Masterpost: {x

Pairing: Hamliza

Summary: Eliza just found out she was pregnant and she’d only been married to Alexander for five months. She was afraid that he wouldn’t be too thrilled, but he was determined to prove it otherwise.

Warning: hella fluff

Word Count: 3,498

“One spoonful of sugar or two?”

The words were nearly drowned out by the copy machines buzzing behind her. Not only that, but her eyes were weighed down from the exhaustion she was facing.

Keep reading

Skipping School // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: fluff, parent!phan

Words: 2.4k

Relationship status: married

Warnings: none

Summary: The Lester kids accidentally sleep in and miss a day of school. They come up with the idea to try and hide like it didn’t happen.

Keep reading

Unsolicited Opinions on the Vampire Knight Fandom War/Therapeutic Ranting

Originally posted by qkuc

First of all, I’ll give full disclosure by saying I barely deserve to call myself part of the VK fandom as a whole or the Zeki family because I have been out of the loop since 2013 when that ending killed my soul. Also, grad school ate up all my time to spend emotionally stewing in my feels about this story over the past couple of years. But I’m going to post my thoughts on the current Vampire Knight fandom war anyway because after only a week back in it, I am seriously baffled by what is going on here. I’m going to try to break my ideas down I guess for anyone reading this but it is more rant than analysis, really. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Maya took a deep breath as she climbed into the bay window. Yesterday was Saturday. Saturday was her eighteenth birthday. And Riley didn't know everything that happened. She climbed into Rileys bed and laid her head on her shoulder. "I went to the courthouse and got married. " she said softly.

thank you for the amazing prompt!!! like i loved this so much omg. 

The freezing January wind nips at Maya’s skin as she climbs up the fire escape to her best friend’s apartment. It’s early. Or very late. She’s not too sure, to be honest.

Keep reading


Originally posted by svt17-carat

querencia - (n.) a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

You honestly dont even know how you never noticed. Out of literally nowhere, a guy randomly pops up, acting like your absolute dream man. 

Having so many things in common with you and acting as if he’s known you, your entire whole life. 

Making you think he simply appreciated every thing you were, by the way he’d capture every single little thing you’d say or do.

And just over all, instantly creating a bond with you. 

Becoming your rock and support after all you had been going through at the time. Going from being a girl without a family who’d get bullied day in and out at school, to becoming someones main priority, their everything, made you fall instantly in love.

He would always be ready to hear you out on whatever matter need it be. Taking you out for ice cream every time you’d tell him you were feeling anxious or upset.

Standing up for you whenever people would trash talk you over at school. Staying always by your side, making you feel accompanied always, in contrast to how you’d be alone before, and without anyone to even speak to.

In other words,he’d just succeed in making you feel like the most prized possession on the face of the earth. He made you feel like the happy and perfect heroine of a cheesy romance novel.

How he’d oh so beautifully, dedicate poems to you, or could go on hours talking about how gorgeous you were and how attached he had become to being with you, all the time. 

Leaping you off of your feet, every single time he’d flash you that smile of his. 

Only after a mere month of knowing each other, he had declared his everlasting love for you in front of the entire lunch, letting people all around know someone finally cared and loved you at last. 

For you however, at that moment, the timing was perfect. You thought you weren’t rushed into things at all, feeling like you knew him inside and out and wanted to be able to call him yours as soon as possible.

A few months after and you had both graduated, making you start work, in order to get enough money for college.When you started your job you began becoming busier than ever and yet he’d still be there. 

No matter at what time you’d finish whether it was one in the afternoon or one in the morning, he couldn’t care less and would instantly be at your home waiting for you, always a small gift in hand. 

At some point, you were even ready to jump out and marry him if he asked the question. Thinking you were both madly in love and that the sooner you were married, the better. 

Your new made co workers, would always tell you how surreal he acted. How they wished they had someone like him in their lives. 

Others, would tell you things were going far too fast. That nothing good would have ever come out of a relationship that was built on overnight. 

But you brushed them off, because you couldn’t explain the butterflies going on in your stomach every time he’d look at you or simply talked to you.

Or even the feeling you’d get every time you’d wake up and see him there laying beside you, hands wrapped around your waist. You couldn’t trust those people you would tell yourself, those who’d say It was far too good to happen truthfully.

You would just call them jealous, you’d say they just wanted to break your special bond, so they’d talk and talk to make you question his love for you.

Oh how awfully wrong were you. He had succeeded, definitely, but not in being the best man in the world, or being the perfect boyfriend. He had succeeded in stealing your heart, with the cruelest of intentions behind it.

You found out one day, when you overheard him talking on the phone.

“Its almost been a year, how long do you think I’m going to keep this act up? Its been fun and all but I have a life I need to attend to, my actual life, away from here. One where I don’t need to pretend I’m in ‘love’ with a random girl you paid me to be with. Plus she’s getting extremely annoying. Im through with this act. I’ll just leave soon, without a word. She’ll be crushed as you wanted, so I’m done here.”

You can’t even begin to describe the pain you felt in your heart in that moment. Your entire body felt completely and utterly numb. 

Your boyfriend, had been paid from the very start to be with you. To somehow leave you in the end broken.

You wanted to go over there and slap him until your hands would feel like falling off, punch him, scream at him. Ask him why he’d ever hurt you. 

But you couldn’t, you couldn’t even comprehend why someone would be so heartless enough as to do what he, and the person he was on the phone with, did to you. 

You waited, until he left, and then you waited even more for the perfect timing, to somehow get back what little dignity you had left.

You somehow during that week, discovered who had set this all up. You had gotten his phone while he was on the shower and had looked through his messages, hidden within all of his texts was one with the rich obnoxious guy who had bullied you, all throughout high school. 

The same guy who supposedly, your ‘boyfriend’ had helped you stand up to. You could have never imagined them being friends or even talking to eachother. 

Scrolling through the messages however, you noticed they were awfully close and saw how they’d talk abut you, making you seem literally even less valuable than trash.

You waited two more days, seeing as you still needed to overthink a plan perfect enough to pay for what they had done to you, most importantly, what he had done.

Today, is finally the day you’re getting you’re revenge on Jisoo.

You carefully stand up from the bed, looking to your right side at the bathroom door, making sure he’s still showering, in order to not get yourself caught. You softly move onto the closet, the place where you had seen him store his money in, whenever he’d think you were asleep.

Standing up on your tippy toes, you grab onto the top shelfs black and get a shining gold shoe box, opening it to reveal what you could guess is easily more than fifty thousand dollars, you quietly gasp, as you never thought there’d be this much money hidden in here. 

You quickly grab the money, and head on over to your bed, where underneath, a big suit case is hidden. You’ve been preparing the suit case with all your must have items. 

So far, you had a bundle of clothing, bathroom care items, your makeup bag and a few perfumes. You throw the money inside and make sure to cover it up with a t-shirt as you lock the suit case and grab your car keys which were by the kitchen, rapidly going to your car, you ended up grabbing the suit case by its handle, and throwing it on the back seat. 

You then make your way inside. Only to be greeted by an amused Jisoo, whom sat at the kitchen table, looking at you questionably as he seems to be surprised you were up and hadn’t told him you were doing something so early as you’d always tell him even the silliest of things just to keep him in the know.

“You thought you had me all figured out didnt you?” you say, as you move toward him, looking up at him with nothing other than despise in your eyes.

“You know, I always thought you were perfect. But now looking back, I realize ever since the very start you were far too ‘perfect’ to be even begin to be real. I literally feel so stupid for all the time that I gave you, all the time I lost, oh my god.” you say as you chuckle bitterly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Are seriously acting oblivious right now? Im talking about you, getting paid to fuck me over. Thats what I’m talking about you insensible piece of shit” you say as you slap him across the face, making the sound echo throwout the apartment.

he suddenly grabs your wrist, and looks at you deeply, with an expression so cold, that it sickens you to your stomach.

“Sweetheart, you just made the plan fail. I knew I should have left a long time ago, with my money. But now, now.. don’t act so strong, we both know you definitely aren’t. I’ve seen you at your weakest points, I’ve seen how truly weak you can be love, theres simply no lying to me.”

he snickers as he holds you closer, smirking coldly almost as if he’s enjoyed the entire time hurting you over and over again.

You can’t help but feel hate for this man standing in front of you. If accepting to do what he’s done, doesn’t make him a terrible enough person, the words he speaks reveal his true colors, making him seem like the biggest asshole on the planet.

“Thats where you’re wrong. Sure you have seen me at my lowest points. But that itself doesn’t define me to be weak, it simply shows I was too strong for too long. Aside from that, id like to let you know, that yes, maybe you did waste the last year of my life. But you should know, I did get my payback, ‘love’ and now, it is me who feels terribly sorry for you, seeing that after this, you wont even have money to go on. I hope one day you come to realize that you are the absolute definition of scum. Oh, and one more thing. Don’t. Ever. Question what I’m cable of, again.”

you say as you pull yourself out of his grip and strike him by kicking his leg, which ended up making him fall onto the floor, as you rapidly sprint toward the door, slamming it open and making your way to your car.

Opening the drivers door, you quickly get in and slam shut the door, you then push your key into ignition and lock all the doors, as you see him running out the house, screaming for his money.

When you drive off, you end up seeing him, sprinting far back behind you, trying to catch up desperately.

Making your way into the highway, you turn on the radio, to try and help you clear your mind, in order to think of where you’ll be going next, now that you don’t live in that apartment after this. However one things for sure…

For now, no other man will get to be your everything so easily. As of right now, you’ll be your own rock, you’ll be your own home.

~admin ari♡


Imagine: Imagine you have insomnia, and Steve keeps you company by watching the movies he missed while under the ice.

Warnings: None. It’s mostly fluff! A little bit of a “dark past” and guilt, but Steve’s there to save the day.

Author’s Note: Just a little fluff for Captain America’s birthday. I’m hoping to post a couple more Steve imagines tomorrow when I have more time.

Originally posted by imaginingbucky

You couldn’t sleep.


You could never sleep, though. It was your burden to bear. Although, it did also give you a bit of a leg up. If you didn’t need to sleep, then you didn’t need to stop studying and working. It’s what pushed you to the top of your class in college. It’s what made you the best in your field with your job before the Avengers. It’s what landed you the job here at the Avengers Compound: the Land of Insomniacs.

Here, your insomnia was just par for the course. It gave no advantage, but it also did less damage. No professors breathed down your neck to get to bed earlier. No friends gave you a hard time about how you always missed breakfast. You were, for all intents and purposes, just one of the guys.

 Tony was always working in his lab late into the night–especially now that Pepper was gone.

Bucky stayed awake in his room as long as he could, staring at the ceiling and hoping sleep never came.

Pietro was having sexy time with whatever girl was available that night.

Vision literally didn’t need sleep, and often Wanda (complaining about Pietro’s loudness) would stay up to keep him company.

Sam was constantly out until the early hours of the night or staying up late to watch bad TV.

And yet, nobody ever wandered their way to the living room. No one except for Steve.

Keep reading


This is for @emthimofnight!!! Thanks for encouraging my crazy ideas and reading every single thing I send you, your messages give me life :D This is a scene we literally talked about in the past day or so, I hope you like it!

Killugon Miraculous Ladybug AU! Featuring an exhausted Chat, a sneaky Ladybug and a very interesting sparring session~

Word Count: 1326


BEAUTIFUL fanart by emthimofnight that sparked this whole au

Miraculous x Hunter tag with other drabbles, asks, etc & the ao3 series page

In hindsight, Killua really should have just refused Ladybug’s begging.

“Chat, that move was so cool!” Ladybug gushed as he bounced up and down at Killua’s side, brown eyes alight with a mixture of excitement and awe. “How do you always look so graceful and amazing and-”

“S-Shut up!” Killua stammered, hating the rush of embarrassed heat that rose his cheeks. 

Even as Chat Noir, taking compliments was a challenge for him. And Ladybug- he just never stopped. The red and black suited teen just went on and on about everything and anything: how fast Killua was, what great a team they made, the fact that he couldn’t wait to see Chat again whenever they said goodbye-

Killua blinked as Ladybug suddenly leaned into his space. 

“Can you show me how you did it, then?” Ladybug asked eagerly. 

Killua took a large step back. “Ah- no.”

“What? Why not?!”

Killua almost laughed at the indignant expression on Ladybug’s face.

“Because we just spent all night on patrol,” Killua pointed out. “I don’t know what you like to do in your free time, Ladybug, but for me, sleeping is a very enjoyable experience.” 

He could already feel exhaustion seeping into his muscles, after all. It was messing up with his brain and making his limps heavy as lead. He was probably going to fall asleep on Gon again later during school at this rate…

The thought of Gon’s shoulder against his cheek and the smell of his cologne in Killua’s nose was enough to make Killua’s heart do a triple back-flip. He quickly turned away before Ladybug could see the love-struck look in his eyes. The last thing he needed was more of Ladybug’s prying questions.

“Go home, Ladybug,” he said shortly. “There’s always tomorrow-”

Warm fingers suddenly encircled Killua’s wrist, forcing him to stay.

Keep reading

The Fight (Jungkook, You) Scenario

Two book reports due by next week…
A research paper due for consultation two days from now…
An five page-essay on the effects of Shakespearian literature to contemporary literary works due by Friday…
Submission of final draft for the decorations committee for the upcoming graduation ball… 

You wondered if this is what college was all about: a whole bunch of deadlines.You’re only a freshman and you’re already so busy. Having been elected into the student council, you had a lot of things to take care of like student activities and outside school events. Then there’s also the fact that you have to continually keep your grades up to be able to stay in the honor list, as well as a member of the council. It was a touch job but you were able handle it. It’s just that these past few weeks had been like hell for you and every time you checked your to-do list, it’s seemed to be never-ending.  

Keep reading

A Choice Only You Can Make (Cassian X Reader) Requested

Originally posted by jyn-erso


PAIRING: Cassian X Reader
WARNINGS: Violence, cussing & PDA
REQUESTED: Hey! Could I get a Cassian x reader? Remember when Chirrit said Cassian carried his prison/cage, what if he used to be a drink, and whenever the reader goes away on like months long mission, Cassian turns back to his old ways, and one day she catches him and blows up on him, and tells him if he doesn’t stop she’ll leave. And then she gets sent back out on a mission and is captured and tortured and Cassian + Rogue One saves her and they make-up and there are Angst and fluff???

A/N: Hey, I’m so sorry this story took so long. I’ve been so busy with school and work. I feel like I could have made this story better but I knew if I didn’t post it now I probably never would. I hope you like it, I feel like it’s not exactly how you wanted it but I did my best! :)

“Home sweet home.”

“Thank the force, two months is too long.”

“I know right and the original plan was to be there for three months, can you believe that?”

Jyn sends Y/N an exhausted smirk as their ship lands on Base One. Y/N begins to turn off all the control as quickly as possible once they hit the ground, her good friend does the same on her side of the ship. It’s been two months since they left on an undercover mission for the Rebellion. They went into the Coruscant system as undercover bounty hunters, they were looking into the rumors the planet had to offer about the Republic. They got so much information that they got to come back a month sooner than planned. For the past year, the Rebellion has been putting the ladies on missions that lasted months. Most members of the Rebellion went on a week’s trip that at latest ended at one month. Not the girls though, they got the cruel months kind of missions that always had a high percentage of it ending badly. That’s because they’re exceptionally good at what they do, they’re so good that they’re back a month sooner than expected. They wouldn’t be back for long though, the girls weren’t idiots. Y/N’s bets are that they will only be stationed here on Base One for a few days so the General can look over their information before he sends them back out. Once the ship is safely turned off the ladies on in the back to grab their bags and weapons. While doing so Jyn notice’s Y/N packing up unusually fast for someone who should be on the verge of passing out from lack of sleep.

“Trying to get to bed before the sun rises?” Jyn asks before sending her a smug look while adding, “By bed I mean Cassian’s bed, lord knows the last time you actually slept in your own room.”

“Oh, Shut up…” Y/N feels a blush coming to her cheeks as she zips her bag up, “Can’t a girl be excited that she’s seeing her man after months apart from him?”

“Never said you couldn’t be.”

Jyn winks while throwing her bag over her shoulder and opening the ship’s door. Biting her lip Y/N tries to hide a smile as she and her partner leave the ship into the busy night. The girls came back to Base One in the middle of the blackened night, they should’ve been back tomorrow morning but they didn’t want to spend one more unnecessary night in Coruscant. Even in the night, Base One was still alive with movement by sleepless Pilots and forever busy Captains. It wasn’t unusual for people to still be awake at this time, most of them were still up since their minds wouldn’t let them forget the unforgivable things they have done. Y/N use to be one of those poor souls who couldn’t get a wink of sleep from the terrifying memories she’s experienced. Now, though, it’s extremely easier to sleep on Base One since she’s usually curled up with a Certain Captain. Captain Cassian Andor to be exact.

God, how she missed him. She couldn’t wait to see his thick longish brown hair pushed back. She could see it now, him waking up in surprised that she’s curled up beside him. She’ll probably change into one of his shirts before going to bed tonight, Cass always loves you in nothing but his clothes. He likes you in nothing too, maybe she would just go to be naked. That will sure start the mood next morning. Maybe she should wake up early tomorrow and make him breakfast, they probably would eat it though. It might just end up on the floor as they use their table for something completely different. She just couldn’t wait to be with Cassian again, it almost physically pained her just to know she hasn’t touched him in two months.

“Stop smiling.” Jyn speaks up as they walk toward Base One’s headquarters, “You’re making it obvious.”

“Am I?” Y/N asks with a toothy grin and anxious gaze, “Doesn’t matter anyway, the whole Rebellion knows where I plan on going first tonight.”

“That they do.”

Jyn snorts while Y/N lightly giggles since it’s no secret to anyone in the Rebellion that she and Cassian are an item. They were actually very well known from their titles in the Rebellion and how they became a package deal. Y/N joined the Rebellion with nothing but a blaster in her hand, she had nothing to her name and if people dug into her past (which they did) they would know she wasn’t proud of it. At the time, when she joined, Cassian was drinking religiously. He lost the will to be a highly respected Captain after all the cruel and gruesome things he’s done for the Rebellion. The memories were so unforgettable that he tried to drown them with alcohol. When they met the two were probably at their lowest, Y/N and Cassian literally had nothing at the time to be proud or happy about.

The two first met when Cassian was her Captain in training, at first they hated each other since Cassian wanted her to follow him and Y/N didn’t like the way he bossed her around. Not only that but he would be practically drunk when training her, it was like that everytime too. Then they became partners on missions and the hate only grew, he drank on missions to the point of almost passing out and still was able to boss her around like a child. It’s after Y/N finally confessed the reason why she despised Cassian’s drinking when things began to change between them. Before she joined the Rebellion her father was a drunk and drank himself to death. That’s when he figured out why she fought with him on everything when he was drinking. So un-consensually he gradually began to stop and she began to stop fighting with him.

It’s when they got the plans for the Death Star with Jyn and their little group that their hate completely changed. You know what they say about there being a fine line between love and hate, well that line just disappeared on them at the battle of Scarif. After coming back alive Cassian threw out all his alcohol and Y/N starting listening to everything he had to say. Things changed after that day, Cassian and Y/N gain a group of friends, they finally got a title to be proud of, and they became more than just a Captain and Student to each other. Weeks go by and suddenly the two start eating lunch together every day as if they have done it forever. Then it soon turned into eating every meal together. The two were found bantering instead of fighting and their eye rolls turned into longing gazes. Then one day they were caught holding hands, next day someone found them kissing, another day past and everyone somehow just knew they were together.

It’s been years since the first day they met, looking back at that time Y/N knows they aren’t the same people they were when they met. Cassian is now one of the best Captains in the Rebellion and Y/N’s first pick for every available mission. They have grown so much since they met and Y/N couldn’t be prouder. She’s not going to lie, it has been getting harder. Most missions aren’t with Cassian and longer than she cares to admit. Not only that but the mission have gotten to a point where she’s not sure if she’ll be coming back to Base One. So it’s a miracle that she’s here at the dead of the night in full health. The girls are moving past other people in their way toward the building, once in the place, they find even more people moving around.

A lot of them were just lounging around with friends, some were eating a midnight snack, a few were getting in a quick work out and one or two are sleeping at a table. People see the ladies and immediately welcome them home. None of them were a part of their group, they were probably the only ones asleep in on Base One. The girls send everyone who greets them with a tired smile and keeps going further into the building. Even when there is a lot of people awake in the building you can still sense the middle of the night feeling around them. As they keep walking Jyn thinks about her bed and Y/N thinks about Cassian in their bed. Jyn and Y/N don’t stop for anyone, their one goal for the night is to make it to their quarters without passing out on the way there.

They are almost to the elevator to go on the floor with the rooms for everyone when Y/N glances around from hearing an extremely familiar laugh. She then stops walking when she hears it again, she had no doubt that it was Cassian’s laughter, Jyn stops too already knowing why Y/N did. Looking around the room Y/N expression is covered in confusion, why would Cassian be down here in the middle of the night? Every night they were together he slept like a baby so why is she hearing a wide awake chuckle that she knows down right belongs to Cassian. Turning in a complete circle she finally finds where the sound came from. The scene in front of her makes her heart stop, Jyn looks between the sight and Y/N in shock.

“Cass?” Y/N blurts out as if she didn’t actually say it out loud, “Cassian?”

“Where- He- Oh shit…” Jyn can’t finish her sentence at the sight she’s seeing, “Y/N-”

She doesn’t hear the rest of what Jyn says because she’s storming to the unbelievable sight in front of her. There is Captain Cassian Andor sitting with his old drinking buddies at the corner table. He has a flask in his hand and is laughing at one of the drunks at the table. His hair is a hot deep brown mess, the shirt has a few more buttons undone than usual and his eyes are half open in a drunken haze. Y/N didn’t know what to think or react to what she’s seeing. She missed him terribly for the past two months and wants nothing more to just be consumed by him. Then she’s also confused on why he’s drinking again, he hasn’t drunk for the past year. Not only that but she’s down right pissed that he’s drinking again even though he knows how much she’s disgusted by it and not to mention he told her he was done with it for good. One of the guys nods the direction Y/N’s coming from then making Cassian turn and see her.

“Y/N! Baby.” He smiles lazily before stumbling to stand and face her, “I missed you!”

“Cass… I…” She whispers speechless as she reaches her drunk man’s side, “What’s going on?”

“Just havin’ a quick drink. No biggie.” He shrugs while wrapping a heavy arm around her waist possessively, “I thought you and Jynnie were stationed on Coruscant for three months?”

“We finished sooner than expected…”

Looking around the table Y/N obviously, could tell all the men we’re seriously buzzed or on verge of being a drunken mess. She didn’t know how to react to this situation, she didn’t want to have to deal with this situation. All she wants to do is be with Cassian under their bed sheets for the rest of the night but not like this. Y/N won’t go to bed with him like this, she made it very clear before she won’t ever when he’s in a drunken state. Maybe that’s why he’s in one now because he thought she wouldn’t be here to go to bed with. The thought made her question all the long missions she went on with Jyn. Shaking her head Y/N stops herself from opening up all these doors in her mind and silently tells herself she’ll deal with all this tomorrow.

She stares up a Cassian then, he looking at her lustfully but not in the way she wanted him to. His hands rub circles into her skin but it felt like he wasn’t in control of the action. He leaned into her body but not because he wanted to be closer but because it was the only way for him to stand on his two feet. This is not how she wanted to be greeted by Cassian after two months pretending to be a criminal Bounty Hunter. She didn’t want to feel exhausted, betrayed, alone, confused, pissed, and worried all at the same time. But here she is with disappointment in her eyes and a drunk of a boyfriend. Watching Cassian concerningly Y/N whispers hopefully while holding him up straight.

“Why don’t we head to our room? I’ve had a long day.”

“Nooo. Sit down wit’ us, have a drink.” Cass slurs while pulling her forcefully closer to his side, “It always calms my nerves when ya’ gone.”

“Always? Whatever.” She mumbles with a surprise yet hurt voice as she tries to move her face away from his alcohol breath, “I’m not going to have a drink, Cass. I never do, you know that.”

“Ah, yes.” He rolls his far away eyes while obviously putting his hand under her shirt shamelessly to feel her bare back while saying without thinking, “Because of ya’ dead daddy.”

“Exactly.” Y/N spits out as she holds in her anger at him while shoving him completely off her since he’s being too handsy, “So are you coming to bed or not?”

“I’ll be up in a little bit.”

Cassian shrugs while plopping down in a chair and grabbing a bottle. Y/N couldn’t help but scoff at his answer, he rather stay here and drink than be with her after being apart for two months. Not to mention she never offers for him to join her in bed when he’s been drinking. She knows it’s the liquor talking but it still hurt immensely. She watches him gulp down the liquid in disbelief, for a moment she didn’t see the man she calls hers. For a second she sees the bum she met when joining the Rebellion, she thought that person was in the past. Not having the energy to let her mind ponder about the scene in front of her she declares with no room to talk.

“If you don’t come with me now then you’re sleeping alone tonight.”

“I’ve slept alone for two months,” He sends her an unfazed expression while opening another bottle, “I can do it one more night.”

“Fine but don’t you dare grovel at my doorsteps tomorrow morning.”

“Y/N… Please. Let me in.”

Captain Cassian Andor is currently groveling right in front of Y/N’s front door. It’s been a week since she returned with Jyn and she hasn’t spoken to him since the first night. He has tried talking to her at least a dozen times but everytime time she successfully dodges him. He tried talking to Jyn and the rest of their friends to get Y/N to talk to him but they all said it’s his mess to clean up. They just didn’t want to get in between all this, he completely gets it and isn’t the slightest bit mad. It’s his fault only, so it’s only right he fixes it on his own. Which is why he’s in front of her door begging to be let in once again today. He hears her soft footsteps behind the door as she gets closer, for a moment he thinks she going to open the door but instead she calls out with attitude.

“I don’t know… I think you can go one more day without me. You’ve spent two months without me after all.”

“Y/N, It’s been a week…” Cass sighs guilty from remembering what he said to her the night she came back, “Come on, open up.”

“I’m good.”

“I leave for Tatooine tomorrow.”

“Have fun.”

Groaning at Y/N’s short sarcastic replies Cassian puts in a code that can unlock any door. Perks of being a Captain. The door slides open with Y/N on the other side looking rather shocked. As he walks down the hall toward her she takes her shoe off and chucks it at him. He ducks as it goes over his head, it doesn’t stop him from going into the middle of her small quarters. He was used to her throwing things at him when mad, he secretly thinks she likes it because it makes the situation as dramatic as her feelings. He’ll never say that out loud though, she would probably throw a chair at him. He stops walking once he’s a foot away from Y/N. She has her arms folded and an eyebrow raised in annoyance. Sighing Cassian rests his hand on his hips and states casually.

“We need to talk about this.”

“Talk about what? Oh, I know…” Y/N sends him a look before turning away and pretending to fix the books on her bookshelf, “You want to talk about how I found you wasted after you promised me you would stop drinking for good.”

“Yes, so-”

“Don’t want to hear it.”

“Excuse me?” Cass shakes his head in disbelief before saying, “You didn’t even let me explain.”

“Because I understand completely.” She shrugs while saying uncomfortably calm, “It took me a week but I understand why.”

“I’m confused…” He thinks out loud with a straight posture, “Then why are you being so cold to me?”

“I said I understand why you were drinking.” She grabs a book she’s never read and throws it at him carelessly, “I didn’t say I liked it.”

“Come on,” Cassian dodges the book tiredly, “It’s just drinking.”

She throws another hardcover book, this one she has read before.

“Can’t we just forget-”

“Forget? Forget?” Y/N spits out in shock as she raises her voice in betrayal with her hand hovering over a book she was about to grab, “You promised me you were done drinking. I come home after two months of missing you terribly to find you on the verge of passing out drunk! So no, I can’t just forget!”

Rubbing his face in shame Cass knows there is no good way of deflating this argument. He knows that she already put the pieces together that he drinks when she’s gone. He started drinking because of the unwanted memories but now, since he has done it for so long he doesn’t know anything else but to drink. He stopped for Y/N because she hated it and she was something better than the alcohol but this past year it just wasn’t enough anymore since she wasn’t with him as much. How could he not drink when she’s always away on long missions? He always has shorter missions than her now and days since he has larger groups. The whole reason he stopped drinking is because he had Y/N but she’s never here for him to have anymore. She knows that. He knows that. He didn’t want to waste this precious time with each other on things they already know. Y/N stands facing her Captain with a conflicted expression making him conflicted as well on what to do.

“You don’t want me to explain and you don’t want to drop it, so what do you want me to do?” Cassian begins to shout in aggravation from this whole downward spiral of a situation, “You want me to apologize? Want me to say it won’t happen again? Say it was just a one-time thing?”

“I want you to choose.”

“Choose what?”

“What you want more.” She stares at him like she has made up her mind, “Me or Alcohol.”

“W-what…” Cassian chuckles like what she said it ridiculous and comes slowly up to her with a small smile, “You can’t be serious, Y/N.”

“I stood by my father until he drank himself to death. I can’t- I won’t go through all that again… Not with you. I’m not going down that rollercoaster with you like I did with him, I won’t be able to handle it.” A few tears gracefully run down her cheeks making her quickly wipe them away as she says in pushed down anger, “So you just have to pick what you want more.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t ask me to pick. Not when you’re never here anymore!”

“I’m here now!”

“Not for long!”

“Then come with me.”

“That won’t change the fact that I will always want to drink.”

“Do you want it more than me?”

Cassian pushes a strand of hair behind Y/N’s ear with such a regretful face that she couldn’t help but look down between them heartbroken. Cassian moves his hands to hold her cheeks, she leans into them and closes her eyes that are threatening to slip tears. She doesn’t want to come home again and find him drinking, or wonder if he was drinking while she was gone or wonder if he was during another mission. She couldn’t handle the thought of that every day, she needed something real and complete. If he continues to drink he’ll never be all there and she needs to have someone who’s there for her entirely. It was taking too long for him to pick her or a drink and the thought of him actually picking a drink over her was too much to handle. She felt like falling to the ground but kept her ground with the last ounce of energy she has left. He made his decision without even answering, they both know it but didn’t dare say it out loud. After a moment she shakes her head and backs away from him saying.

“I think you should leave.”

“Y/N, don’t.” He whispers while shifting toward her only for her to take a quick step back as he states softly like he has said it so many time that he can’t remember when it wasn’t true, “I love you.”

“Love me?” She scoffs before sniffling from wanting to cry and looking him dead in the eye, “If you loved me you would have stopped. You know the hell Alcohol has put me through. If you loved me you wouldn’t make me go through it again.”

He rubs his face angrily, how could she doubt his love for her? They have said, shouted, whispered, and showed how much they love each other plenty of times to one another. Cassian begins to grow frustrated, he shouldn’t feel guilty, it’s only Alcohol. It’s Alcohol though that made Y/N have to leave her own house because her father didn’t remember she was his daughter and not his wife. It’s Alcohol that makes her mother leave home and it’s Alcohol that killed her father. But it’s Alcohol that got him through the rough times he had without Y/N. Feeling spiteful that moment Cass crosses his arms while staring at Y/N’s back that’s facing him and says as a cheap blow.

“If you loved me, you would be okay with me drinking.”

“If I… You got some nerve.” Y/N thinks out loud before grabbing her other shoe and chucking it at him, “It’s because I love you that I want you to stop, laser-brain!”

“Please…” Cassian chuckles sarcastically as he ducks under the flying boot, “You just want me to stop because you have daddy issues.”

“Get out.”


“Get out of my room.”

“You know what, fine. I don’t need this bullshit.”

Cassian spits out in uncontrollable anger as he digs himself into a deeper hole. He’s blinded by frustration and pride to realize the damage of his words. Little did he know these next few words would change one another for the rest of their lives. All he knows is Y/N’s always gone and alcohol is always here and she’s making him pick. He’s been mad at her never being with him anymore, mad at their situation that the Rebellion somehow set in motion, and made alcohol being one of his biggest weaknesses but mostly he’s mad at himself. He’s furious with himself for letting her slowly slip away from him, for giving the Rebellion the option to separate them, and for letting alcohol have the power to affect their relationship. Pointing a finger at Y/N, blinded by anger, he shouts lies in hope that it will make him feel better.

“I don’t need you, I never needed you! Go ahead and leave for your next mission. It can be for a month or a year. Hell, never come back. See if I care!”

Cassian turns around and begins walking down the hall to the door. Y/N stand in the middle of the living room with her arm dangling by her sides. Her heart drops lower with every step he takes. Y/N’s eyes are glassy as silent tears fall on her cheeks, she doesn’t try to wipe them away. She only looks at Cassian like she lost something more important than her own doesn’t mean that she thought with tears rolling down her cheeks. He always cared, he cared about everything, how could he not care about her? After everything, they been through, fought for, done for each other it comes down to this. It came down to him giving her up for some beverage. This might be worse than losing him to drinking, Y/N thought, because he chose it over her. Cassian’s hands are clenched so tight they begin to grow white as he walks away, he’s doing everything in his power to not let his feelings take control of his actions.

“Cassian.” Y/N then speaks up making him stop and glance behind him to see her unreadable expression as she declares, “You walk out that door, we’re over. Don’t you dare come crawling back. You walk out and you can have every damn drink you could ever want but you’ll never have me again.”

He reaches for the key code but stops halfway as her words sink in. If he leaves he wouldn’t be able to crawl back in her bed and make love to her. If he leaves he’ll never wake up to her soft kisses in the morning. If he leaves now he’ll be able to drink without anyone giving him a hard time. He rather have her in his bed with only his sheet covering her. He rather see her walk around his room naked as she gets ready. He rather just have her but what happens if he drinks again? What will happen the next time she was gone and he finds himself drinking only to once again get caught? Maybe it’s better to just end it now so he won’t disappoint her again. They are so close to losing each other because of Alcohol, what happens when something bigger gets between them? If they couldn’t get through this how could they get through the next problem. After the longest minute, either one has ever experienced Cassian puts in the code and the door opens.

“Have a nice trip to Coruscant.”

“Cass… I- Good luck in Tatooine.”

Without looking at Y/N he puts in the code to open the door before completely leaving her room. He steps out into the hall and the door closes behind him. He stands there for a moment with a defeat expression, people walking around him look at him as if he just came back from a war he didn’t win. Cassian pinches the bridge of his nose, this was not how he wanted to reunite with her after her two-month mission. He wanted to make a bouquet of flowers for her so that the moment she got out of the ship she had something other than the burden of the mission. He wanted to shower her with kisses the first day she got back, he wanted to relax in bed with her curled up beside him. He wanted to listen to her sing lightly in the shower, to wake up with her bare body covered in their white sheet, to listen to everything that happened in Coruscant with Jyn and her. There were so many things he wanted to do with her when she got back. Now he’ll never do any of that ever and that’s his fault. He let alcohol ruin the one thing he loves more than himself.

“Captain, K-2, I need you to follow me.”

“Well, hello to you too, General.”

“Cassian this in no time for sarcasm.”

“Why? Is something wrong, Sir?”

Cassian and K-2SO have just got out of their ship when their General greets them with an alarming order. The two have been on a mission in Tatooine for the last two weeks, they left the night Cassian and Y/N broke up. He hasn’t talked to her or drank since and it’s noticeable to everyone around him. The moment he stepped a foot back on Base One his General confronted him with a very stressed expression. Cass looks to the Rebuilt Imperial Droid beside him and all he does is shrug, he’s as clueless about the way the General is acting as him. Their General stars walking to Base One’s headquarters without answering Cassian. The two follow quickly behind him with worry postures. As they walk Cassian sees Rebel fighters looking at him in surprise before quickly walking by him in panic. Something’s very wrong, he thought as people continue to give the same uneasy expression. Usually, when he got back from a mission people would ask him how it was and offer him something to take the load off. This time was different though, no one dared speak to him and the General didn’t let him have a second to relax. They are almost off the Base One’s hanger when Cassian sees Jyn walking toward her and Y/N’s ship with a large cut across her face.

He stops without thinking making K-2 stop and turns to him in confusion. It takes the General a second longer to notice the two aren’t following him anymore. Cassian stares at the huge cut on Jyn’s face, it’s cleaned and patched up but it still looks new. Jyn’s supposed to be on a mission in Coruscant with Y/N, he immediately thinks. They were scheduled to leave the day after he and K-2 left for Tatooine and it was estimated to be a three-month long mission for the girls. So why was Jyn back after only being in Coruscant for two weeks with a cut like that? When she reaches her and Y/N’s ship Chirrut and Baze get out and load a few bags on the ground beside the ship. He then watches Bodhi come up with a bag full of weapons. Since when did they all go on a mission together? Last time they were all on a mission together was when they were getting the plans for the Death Star, they barely got back to Base One alive. A moment goes by and the realization hits him, Y/N’s not with them. Why would she not be helping them load up her own ship? Unless she wasn’t here. His heart drops at the possibilities of why Y/N wasn’t here.

The cut on Jyn’s face isn’t helping either, it only makes the suggestions in Cassian’s head worse. What if she’s in the infirmary barely alive? What if she isn’t even alive? Panic rushes through him, she couldn’t be dead. Only two weeks ago she was throwing her shoes at him. Only yesterday was he thinking about ways to win her back after their last fight. He had thought long and hard in Tatooine about his last fight with Y/N. He’s come to terms that he was prideful and has let alcohol be a prison for him for too long. He came back to Base One thinking it was time to put his pride aside and break free from this cage drinking has put him in for Y/N. He hears his General calling out to him making him start walking again but not toward him. He walks quickly like he’s on a mission to Jyn, everyone in his way moves just at the sight of his expression. Jyn and the rest of their friends see him coming to them, they all send him a shameful and guilty expression. It only makes him even more worried, once he reaches Jyn he looks around her as announces in a deep tone.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Cass, don’t worry-”

“Where is she?!”

“You need to calm down-”

“Damn it, Jyn!” Cassian shouts making everyone around them turn their heads, “Where is Y/N?”

“Jyn doesn’t know, Captain.” The General speaks up from behind Cass, “Someone kidnapped her in Coruscant. We don’t know who or why but we have already arranged a search party to find her. That’s why I wanted you to come with me, so I could inform you myself.”

“We were on our way to the Capital when we were ambushed.” Jyn begins to explain in defeat with a pained gaze, “I passed out and when I woke up Y/N was nowhere to be found-”

“I can't… Please, stop.”

Cassian whispers so softly she almost didn’t hear him, his friends and General are watching him in complete concern. He rubs his face in frustration, this was too much to take in. The one thing he’s ever purely cared for, Y/N L/N, has been captured and no one knows where she is. He left on his mission letting her think drinking meant more to him than her. Now he might never be able to make it right, without thinking he kicks a bag that’s near him on the ground. How could he let this happen, he wouldn’t if he went with her. Then again how could he let their General talk them into going on missions without each other? Cass could remember a time where the only missions he and Y/N went on was when together. Everything felt so wrong, he let the love of his life doubt his love for her, he let her leave without him on missions, he let Alcohol crawl back into his life. Cassian wished then that he could go back to when he first stop drinking for her when they were glued to the hips, when nothing could take them apart from one another, when she was his. That’s how it should be, that’s how it will be when he gets her back. Turning to Baze, Bodhi, and Churrit he orders with determination.

“Load up the rest of the bags.” They start immediately as he turns to Jyn and demand, “On our way to Coruscant you’ll tell me everything. Leave nothing out.” He finally faces his General and says professionally, “When we get back I want to talk to you about how you schedule missions. Because after this one, Y/N isn’t going on another one without me.”

“Agreed but I do advise you to take a few days off to rest before you go out.” The General suggests weakly knowing full well Cassian won’t be able to do anything with Y/N gone, “You just got back from Tatooine, Andor. You need rest.”

“What I need is to get my life back together.” Cassian spits out as he picks up a bag and hands it to Baze, “I can’t do that without Y/N, so I’m going to Coruscant. Now.”

“You heard, Cass! Let’s get going!”

“The force is with me, I’m one with the force…”

“May the force be with you,” General sends the group of misfits a quick nod before walking away and saying into his walkie talkie, “Be prepared for Rogue One to take off.”


“She’s here, I know it.”

“Cassian… It’s been four months.”

“She’s here, Jyn. She has to be.”

Cassian and his friends quietly walk down a hall with their blasters at the ready. They’re at Coruscant in a run down building, it looks like it’s going to fall any minute now. Bodhi sends Jyn a sympathetic look before turning to gaze down the hallway. Baze and K-2 glance into rooms looking for a single familiar face. Chirrut is quietly chanting behind everyone as they get further in the hall. They have been at this for months now, going into buildings looking for any leads to where Y/N is. They weren’t in this building for leads though, they were here for her. Someone tipped them about her being here, Cassian didn’t hesitate in making a plan with that one lead. Everyone was feeling discouraged besides Churrit, Cass couldn’t blame them since it’s been four months since they left Base One looking for Y/N. Baze cracks open another door before shaking his head and going to another one, one by one they look into rooms in the abandoned building.

“I don’t think she’s here.” Baze speaks up quietly after looking into another room, “It looks like no one has been here in months.”

“I don’t care.” Cassian grunts as he looks around the hall in alarm, “We’re looking in every damn room.”

“Captain, the percentages of Y/N still being alive is-”

“I don’t want to hear it, K-2.”

The group is silent again, they all look at Cassian in defeat. They know these last few months have been hard on him. He barely slept or ate, he didn’t dare look at anything that had to do with Alcohol. Everyone besides Cass has started thinking the worst, they can only continue this mission for so long before they have to face reality. He didn’t want to face reality yet though, not yet, not when the will to fight was still in him. If he gives up now Cassian knows he will lose everything, hope, determination, peace, everything. Before Y/N he let alcohol be medicine for his past experiences but once he met Y/N she was like a cure to everything painful in his life. She didn’t give up on his drinking problem for years, so it’ll take a lot more than four months to break his spirits of finding her. He needs her, he wants her, he has to have her, so he’ll keep looking until he finds her. Dead or alive, he will keep searching. Lowering her gun Jyn sets a hand on Cassian’s shoulder and pleads with him.

“I can’t bare this anymore, Cass. I don’t think we can find her.”

“We have to keep looking, Jyn. Until-”

“Until what? Until we find her body?” She cries out with a mournful expression from the thought of what has become of her best friend, “Cassian, I know you love her, I love her too but we can’t keep searching. It’s only hurting us now.”

“So we give up? Is that it?” Cassian spits out in disbelief while thinking out loud in shame, “I can’t do that. Not after everything, I won’t let the last time I saw her be the last. We need-”

“Shh.” Churrit stops chanting and lifts his head making around in the hall silent as a bug, “Listen.”

Everyone looks around wondering why their blind friend commanded them to shut up. They can only hear the silence that’s been around them since they went into this building. Still, the group waits patiently for a reason on why they were asked to be quiet. After a moment Churrit smiles and lifts up a finger like he hears something but to the rest of them it’s still barely quiet. Then after a few second everyone hears it, a soft thud. It’s so soft it could pass off as nothing, Churrit’s smile widens. There it is again, and again, and again. It’s barely a sound but a sound nonetheless. Everyone looks to the end of the hall to the last door, the noise seems to be coming from that room. Aiming their blaster everyone slowly walks down the hall to the farthest door. Once all of them are around it they still and turn to Cassian, he nods just as a louder thud comes from the other side of the door. Jyn goes to the door and slowly opens it with Cassian aiming his gun into the gap as it steadily gets wider. The door’s half way open when Cass bursts into the room and runs to toward something at the corner.

“Y/N!” He lets out a panicked breath as the rest of their friends rush into the room, “Oh God. Y/N.”

She laying in the corner of the room that has blood smeared everywhere around her. She has cuts, burns, and bruises all over her body, you’d be a fool not to notice them. She stops knocking things off the bottom shelf next to her and she looks up from the sound of the door opening. At the sight of her friends in the room, she sighs in pain relief before giving up the fight to move her shredded arms. Jyn covers her mouth in shock at Y/N, she looks like she’s on the verge of death. Cassian drops everything in his hands as he sprints to her, he falls to his knees right next to her. He carefully picks her top half to cradle in his arms, she flinched unconsciously by his action before resting her heavy head on his chest. He doesn’t notice silent tears are rolling down his face as he stared down at Y/N weak body. The two are both shaking from different types of pain, it hurts their friends to watch. Andor’s looking down at the girl in his arms with a quivering bottom lip. The Captain can’t get a word out, so many things were going through his distressed mind. Y/N’s looking up at Cassian with ease but in dreadful exhaustion before choking out with the last of her energy.

“I knew you’d find me.”

“I- Y/N…I’m so sorry.” Cassian sobs out in tears with red eyes before whimpering, “For everything. I promise I’ll never pick up another bottle. I’ll never let you out of my sight again. I’ll love you like I should have… I’m going to be the man you were once proud again. You’ll see. I’m going to save you and make things right.”

K-2 abruptly comes up to them with medicine and bandages but the couple doesn’t notice. They are too consumed with each other to realized whats going on around them. They have been separated for months now with the guilty memory of how they left off. It ate up both of them since they both secretly knew they could have done more to keep each other. They didn’t though and now they finally find each other with Y/N on her deathbed. The thought of what could have happened if Cassian didn’t find her today struck them both hard in the heart. K-2 and Bodhi start cleaning Y/N’s cuts to wrap them up but the two holding each other barely realizes they’re there.

“Oh, Cass…” Y/N tries to smile through the physical pain which only makes them both cry more before breathing out quietly, “You already have.”

“No, I haven’t. I will, though. I’m going to make things right again.” His face clenches with a determined expression as he holds Y/N like she’ll disappear, “Starting with my love for you.”