waiting skeleton

3

“Kay lets see..Jam..Nachos..Pizza sliiiiiice…Sub..Eeeeeeeggs..Bacooooon..Waaaander..Soda caaannnssss..Jar-o-Glorfrogsssss,uh-carton bag?..Salmooooon..

UGH! WHERE ARE THE STUPID SAUCES WE JUST GOT ‘EM TODA- [freezes (and not because he was in front of the fridge,but from realization on what’s on the menu.]

[^THAT]

“mustard or mayo,mustard or mayo,mustard or mayo,mustard or mayo,mustard or mayo?”

“GET OUT OF MY FRIDGE!!!!

SERIOUSLY,CAN A SUPER COOL SUPERVILLAIN NOT EVEN GET A NORMAL GENUINE LUNCH WITHOUT FUZZY WEIRDOS POPPING OUT OF EVERYWHERE?!”

[As Wander runs off giggling because of the nutritious,adorable,surprise,totally anonymous lunch made with love he left there,despite Haters’ choice of NOT chasing him down,the overlord has yet to realize that his nachos and sub sandwich- as well as..well… Everything else that’s not safely covered- is covered in orange fur…]

(we’re exploring a ruin; we just entered a dark corridor and there’s a skeleton coming at us)

me: oh, it’s alive?

DM: yeah, you can talk to it and all

me: can i seduce it?

DM: you can try?

me: cool, i roll to seduce the skeleton. (gets a nat20)

DM: shit. okay. what do you say?

me: uh. wait. “looks like the skeleton is out of the closet”

DM: (laughing) right. okay. it’s immediatelly attracted to you.

me: nice.

DM: (skeleton voice) “lets bone, baby”

me: i regret this.

(skeleton died a turn later after i sent it to scout out a dangerous room, my character was sad but also very relieved)

Hey so I’m really liking this POV stuff
More fanart for @tyranttortoise, from her fanfic Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady. This is the scene where the Reader gives Red an appreciative peck and he mistakes it for an invitation. 
Bet you can’t guess who my favorite skelebro is yet  ;)