waiting for the cricket

I don’t know what was more embarrassing

1. The fact Donald Trump, even for his inaugural address, showed, at best, a sixth grade mastery of the English language - using words with no more than two syllables and making no attempt to use segues or transition between ideas so that his speech had no flow whatsoever, like his ideas about space travel were immediately followed by ideas about race, but like with no linguistic divider so it was like “we are standing at a new age of space exploration and eradicating diseases. And as our soldiers tells us, doesn’t matter if you’re black, brown, or white - we all bleed the same red blood of patriotism.” It was THAT choppy. It made no sense, none of it meshed because it was a word salad without that was clearly made by someone with the inability to properly create a coherent train of thought.

2. Him waiting to hear roaring applause and getting… *crickets*

3. His fucking Kim Jong-un moment where he tries to start a chant by loudly exclaiming “America first” twice and then sadly realizing no one is joining in and stops.

4. Orrrrrr the fact it started raining as soon as he started walking up to the podium, as if god himself were weeping. Lmao…. we’re really all gonna die.

waiting the orchard, the
chorus of crickets rowing the deep
 down the long coffin of California

sedative of the cold - infinite,
dormant grieving

consoling no one,
solstice thickens to dense
fingers of fog standing still a
moment a form a phantom a
riddle a specter of panic

flaw inflicted, pardoned plague

  • Oikawa: iwa-chan, I know I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
  • Iwaizumi: ...
  • Oikawa: get it?~
  • Iwaizumi: shittykawa, do you know why I take photography classes?
  • Oikawa: awwww~ why?
  • Iwaizumi: it's because no matter how hard I try, I can't picture us together.
  • Matsunn and Makki: *highfive* Burn.
  • *crickets chirping*
  • Iwaizumi: wait. shit. are you fucking crying?

disneymarina  asked:

May I have incubus America x reader mating please!!!! That would make my day!!! Thank you! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

Like stars we fall - Incubus!America x Fem!Reader

Hope you’ll like a simple tease of the mating. ;)

You waited, listening to the lovely song of crickets from your opened window. You were perched on your window will, looking out into the city. The night sky was cloudy and dark, you couldn’t make out the stars. But the view of the city was beautiful. Lights blinking, cars underneath honking every once in a while. You sighed and leaned your head back, eyes closing as you relaxed.

You shivered as a sweet smell filled your nostrils, familiar and alluring. You looked to the side and was met with the red eyes of who you were waiting for. Instantly soft lips were pressed to yours in a desperate kiss and you smiled against them, reaching over and gripping his hair, finger brushing his small horns lightly.

He moaned out and pulled at your clothes. You chuckled lightly and reached down, gripping the hard member that was pressed to you the moment he got in the room. You stroked him slowly and leisurely. “Y/n, please don’t tease, ah~” you smiled and rubbed the underside of his tip with your thumb, pressing his own piercing down into the sensitive skin. “You want this, Alfred?” You smiled up at him, him growling in response.

“P-Please, Y-Y/n.. I promise I won’t try to get rid of my heat with other people. Please, please, God please~” he whispered breathlessly, rutting into your hand desperately. You smiled, “You promise? Mmmm, I don’t know, Alfred..” You whispered, biting at his lower lip teasingly as he huffed and continued rutting into your hand. His eyes looked at you desperately. His heat must be unbearable.

The incubus’ cock leaked precum, you had to admit that it was hot. His gripped your hips, you guessed that he was trying to simulate for himself that he was fucking you. You smiled and maoned out to him, “Go harder, cum in me, Alfred!” You whimpered out with a smile. He growled out a moan.

After you’d found out that he was messing around with other people to get his heat through you couldn’t help but be mad. You were his mate and the fact that you didn’t feel like fucking all the time, didn’t mean he was given permission to go behind your back. You probably could’ve understood if he asked you, but he didn’t. And now he was being punished for it. You see. The last step for a incubus’ heat to end, was for them to breed their respective mate. Usually incubuses got succubuses or others of their kind as mates, but this was an exception.

He both couldn’t take your soul and he couldn’t not respect your wishes. If you didn’t want sex, he had to accept that. Usually incubuses could seduce people that were more stubborn, but thwybcouldnt do it to mates and he couldn’t seem to find any loop holes either, other than this small kindness you were allowing him. The more you made him stall off his heat the more desperate he got. Sometimes he’d beg you, whimper and follow you everywhere around the house begging for you to forgive him and let him get off. Others he’d growl, throw something at a wall and storm out.

You heard him moan out and youbpulled your hand back in an attempt to ruin it for him. You were shocked when he groled, dick twitching a few times before pumping out a good load of semen onto your clothes and the floor. He just came hands-free. You exhaled a bit, hand reaching up and gripping his cock once more, pumping it till it was hard once more. Alfred huffed head leaning on your shoulder, “You want me to end this?” You asked, your free hand reaching and resting on the back of his leaned head, “Well then, take me to the bedroom. Let’s see how much you want it…” You whispered.

He quickly looked up at you, before he suddenly lifted you up and carried you to the bathroom, almost running if he could. You laughed softly, “Careful, Shooting star…” You said as he set you on the bed, staring at him through the moon light. You looked outside the window, the stars finally available for your lustful eyes to gaze upon. Alfred quickly climbed on top of you, removing clothes and kissing you everywhere, “You might just fall…” You whispered, eyes trained on the stars outside. It was a beautiful night…

- Mun Rants

anonymous asked:

A crickets tale sounds like it could be us following Cricket. So I feel like we'll see the gang in the episode but like in Being Frank, it'll be a episode centric on one character. So that leaves me to believe that next week's episode could have a omg moment because they're gonna make us wait till the finale to see some resolution, since I don't think crickets tale will because I'm assuming it'll be about what he's been up to this season.

oh absolutely! i think you’re on the money about cricket’s tale.

that said idk if i think anything is gonna happen in the gang tends bar? we’re far enough along where i….. feel like i can say this:

promo discs were distributed that had the gang tends bar on them so there are, in fact, regular people who have seen the episode already. obviously gag orders and common decency and such are a thing but i feel like… someone would have said something by now if there was anything tmdc in it? (and the discs were distributed with old lady house WEEKS before hero or hate crime aired, so mac probably doesn’t do anything really gay? or else they wouldn’t have chosen the gang tends bar as an episode to send out so early, since nobody would have known at that point that mac was going to come out and stay out.)

i REALLY REALLY hate being this person but the source on this has to be “dude just trust me” for now because i feel like even saying this is saying too much about it and i don’t wanna inadvertently get anybody in trouble.

in any case hopefully you’re right but i wouldn’t get my hopes up too much for next week! i guess we’ll find out in a few days either way

looking at the outer planets
  • Saturn: lol do I hear crickets??? oh wait no it stopped because you're making my life MISERABLE but I need you to help me pls
  • Uranus: let's blow shit up because we can yay, let's do dis, let's do dat wheeeee whooooooo
  • Neptune: ??????????????? wait what????????????????
  • Pluto: lol are you like Jupiter's brother but like.... scarier and creepier lmaos
Consider: Christopher & Janet Chant, cricket dorks

I LOVE Christopher being a total dork about cricket when he’s a kid, and you will never convince me that he outgrew it. But Millie didn’t care and I’m sure Roger & Julia were like “daddy this is SO BORING” to his great disappointment, so he dragged Conrad (who also didn’t care but was a pushover) to matches and it just wasn’t the same as having a REAL fan along. (Mordecai was excellent company but he was busy  with Gabriel half the time, and besides he and Rosalie usually went together because Rosalie was also a huge dork about cricket, and they’d dork out together and Christopher would always end up being the third wheel, not that he would ever admit that)


And Janet mentions one day that back in her world her dad used to watch cricket on the telly, and Christopher is like WAIT. YOU KNOW CRICKET? (but obviously much more posh about it) And Janet starts talking about her favourite players and how she had a poster in her room but she never got the chance to play and now she’s in a world with no telly so there’s no cricket to watch anymore. And she gets kind of sad about it because she probably didn’t realize until she mentioned it, it snuck up on her like all those little things she misses from her world, that she doesn’t know she misses until they come up in day to day life and suddenly they’re just not there. Christopher will always feel guilty about taking her away from her world, and he sees her remember these things and it just makes him feel a thousand times guiltier.

BUT CRICKET. Cricket he can fix!! You never learned to play?? What a travesty! And thus starts Janet’s cricket lessons, and he takes her to the local pitch where the villages compete in a little tournament, and sometimes Mordecai and Rosalie come along and Rosalie points out all the mistakes these amateurs are making and Janet is delighted to learn that Miss Rosalie used to whoop every villager in the area when the castle team played. And Janet shows she’s a pretty darn fine bowler, and she starts playing in the local matches, and then Christopher gets to insist on the whole family going to matches because we have to support Janet, really, she’s awfully nice about all of your interests including your godawful charming horse Cat. And so Christopher finally gets his kids to cricket, even if only ¼ of them are interested, and sometimes even Millie comes, although she always brings a book because really Christopher cricket takes far too long.

And when Janet’s an adult and a doctor she has to fight her way on to the university cricket team because “girls can’t play” but oops she’s 10x better than any other bowler they have. Once she’s out of school she pulls together an all-ladies cricket team, made up of professional ladies who managed to become lawyers and politicians and professors despite the old boys’ network, and still like to crack a cricket ball on the weekend (it’s not easy and she has to force Julia to join because they can’t get quite enough people, and Julia sucks but she sticks it out because Janet). And they play in a local league and they lose a lot, but they win some and no one can say they’re terrible. And people laugh and jeer and some idiots even protest, but the jeering reporters change their tune when Chrestomanci himself shows up to as many matches as possible, and when he can’t make it Lady Chant is there because Millie doesn’t give a damn about cricket but no one is going to protest her Janet over some outdated ideals (the protesters always go quiet when Millie is there because she gives them a look that could melt glass).

When Janet visits the castle, Christopher argues strategy with her over dinner, and did you see the latest match, England was such a disgrace, and everyone else rolls their eyes but it doesn’t matter because Christopher finally has someone to dork out about cricket with. And Janet, who grew up without her mom and dad but with Millie keeping their library stocked and teaching her how to drive and Christopher congratulating her on making the rest of the villagers look totally incompetent with her bowling skills, has found her place in this world.

Muse A: Refuses to reply to something because ‘I suddenly can’t read,it’s angsty’ and just doesn’t know what to type *whining that attention is needed from that muse but won’t reply to the thread like REALLY*
Muse B: Demanding I sort out ships,and relations in general while considering what it’d cost to get somebody to snuggle/a person whose clothes they can wear/refuse to give back
Muse C: I GOT KISSED SUCKERS bisexual human disaster for the win possibly getting laid *actually said by the muse why me*
Muse D: *crickets* one thread it can wait a bit

-rolls eyes-
Anyways points if you can tell which blog is which muse.  But then again not that hard most my muses are slightly varied in behavior even for all being such anti hero unfortunate people. 


i need advice ASAP. above is the place where the nest is (between the windows) and either a house or chipping sparrow hatchling. i cannot put it back, as its too high and too far back/ small for me to reach. i have no rehab centers in my town, the people ive called dont take hatchlings because theyre too much hassle, and right now its eating cricket guts while i wait for a chance to get supplies. at the moment i have
- “nest”
- applesauce
- adult, large breed dog food
- chicken eggs
- calcium powder (no D3)

i dont know if this is enough to feed it. she doesnt look dehydrated, but even so, the cricket guts probably have a sufficient amount of water for now. i need to know how often to feed it (i have no job or previous commitments, so time isnt a problem, really.) i need to know what to buy, as im probably headed to petco soon. and i need feeding directions! right now its just scraping guts off my hands. can i feed it small house ants? small slugs? how big can the food be? its about 2 inches long from beak to butt. its probably 0-4 days old. this is all the knowledge i have. @zooophagous im sorry im tagging you, i just noticed you know lots about animals and i need this to get noticed fast! all the step by step guides are really vague…. i know that theres a slim chance this baby will survive, but theres a chance and im willing to take it.

The signs when they find out *Capricorn* likes them
  • Aries: you know, I think I could give it a try..
  • Taurus: aww
  • Gemini: no.
  • Cancer: that's soooo sweet awwwz
  • Leo: idk if I'm interested..
  • Virgo: omg are you serious?? I've been waiting for this my whole life!!!
  • Libra: cap huh? Idk
  • Scorpio: .... *cricket*
  • Sagittarius: yeah? Well when you get the chance tell them I love them :) *walks away like nothing was said*
  • Capricorn: cool deal :)
  • Aquarius: nice?
  • Pisces: *falls on floor and dies*
So when are black women going to start marching in the streets with signs demanding respect? We march for everything else that doesn't benefit us so why not finally march for something that does? I've been waiting for this the happen and **crickets** Nothing.