waiting for my laundry so decided to do this

If you're going to fuck me over at least do it so that I can't fuck you back

I am a student at Uni and today was laundry day for me. I’d finished the wash cycle and had begun the dry cycle and headed back to my room. We are able to monitor the wash/dry cycles from our student link, and I was doing just that. Now the (shitty) way the driers work is that if you open the drier door before the cycle has completed, it will automatically terminate the cycle. I’d been doing some work and looked at the tab where I can monitor the drier and noticed the cycle had ended about 5 minutes ago, which I thought was strange because it had only gone on for about 25 minutes total and it usually takes about 50 minutes. I go down to the laundry room and see my clothes in a wet heap on the floor. Some asshole had decided they didn’t want to wait for another drier to become available and took it upon themselves to dump all my shit on the floor so that they could dry their clothes. Luckily for me, as I mentioned, this had only happened about 5 minutes ago, so their clothes were still just beginning the cycle and still very wet (wetter than mine.)

I took their clothes out, the same as they did to me, only I dumped them all behind the washers where it is very dirty and dusty and probably hasn’t been cleaned in years. (almost put them behind the driers but then I thought better because fire) I took my clothes to the laundromat across the street to make sure the other person couldn’t somehow escalate things and am now beaming with satisfaction over imagining them at first having no idea where their clothes are and then finding them in a difficult to reach area covered in dust and filth.


Today’s efforts at unfuckening the house.

For a while both my partner and I were busy with work or sick, so the house got a bit messy and I decided this morning I was going to fix that!

Took me four 20/10’s (give or take a few minutes here or there) and got the bedroom tidied and laundry away, lounge room tidied and vacuumed, and kitchen cleaned and most of the dishes cleaned and put away.

There’s still a bit to do (not pictured) that might have to wait until my partner can help me with it. It feels nice to be in a clean room again!

Send one for a Not-so-cute living together starters

Send with a + to be reversed where applicable

🍕- Our muses fighting over who has to put the dishes away
👚- My muse Screaming and Crying after a long day because the laundry wasn’t done even though they asked your muse to do it like 5 times
💩- Your muse waiting until my muse gets in the shower to decide they need to poop
💤- Our muses falling asleep on seperate couches becuase they’re too exhausted to move to bed
😠- My muse waking up to find the all the poptarts they bought for themselves already eaten
🏩- My muse steals all the covers in bed
👊- My muse knees yours in the face because the bed is too small
🏠- My muse walking away and slamming the door
👿- My muse saying something harsh during an argument
🌌- My muse wondering if they made the right decsion by deciding to live with your muse
🍏- My muse angrily throwing food at your muse
🎣- Our muses eating the same cheap easy meals for a week because money is tight
🌛- Our muses sitting down to dinner at 10 at night because they both work crazy hours
😱- My muse having an emotional break down due to stress
💔- Our muses having a pointless fight about nothing important
🔪- My muse coming home after a long day at work and finding no food and a messy house

Best Mom

You swear it was days like these that made you want to scream. Or cry. Or do anything but put up with two antsy and complaining toddlers and wait for your husband to return from his late work night. The mile long list of to-do’s didn’t help either. You had barely started the laundry when the oven beeped obnoxiously, and your youngest little one, who was only 2, decided to stick things in electrical outlets. So one scolding and rush-to-turn-off-the-pot-to-keep-the-food-from-being-ruined type of sprint away later, you were back hastily trying to get at least one productive thing done today.

“Mom is the food ready?“

“Mummy my leg hurts.“

"Momma brotha’ won’ gimme the remote back.”

It was all getting too much. Too much to the point were the food had to be turned off. Where you had to put down the scarce piece of clothing you actually folded. Where you had to sit on the bathroom toilet, shake you head in your hands, and wish that the tears that burned behind your eyes were tears of strength and not ones of angst. You doubted it though. Days like these didn’t leave much room for happy crying. They didn’t leave much room for anything actually.

You remember who you were when you first met Harry, strong and fearless. You remember the young love and freedom he brought in your life. It would never be the same again, and you knew it was sealed. The family you two had raised was one of your greatest accomplishments. But the torturous hole of hopelessness that had seeped its way into your heart left you feeling hollow. Leaving you aching for that woman, praying that you had at least half the strength of her left within you to continue on.

You tensed when you heard the soft click of the door into the apartment, hoping that he would just fade and he’d leave you be. It would be torture for him to see you like this, disheveled and messy and nothing like the mother you wanted to be for his beautiful children. A wrenching knot had seeped its way into your stomach and the feeling made you sick.

When you thought about it, you hadn’t even eaten all day, nor had you brushed your hair or got dressed. You didn’t feel like dealing with Harry’s little scolding right now.

“M'home love!” The sounds echoes through the hallway, bouncing off the locked bathroom door that shields you.

"Hey princesses! Love yeh two!“ You heard Harry say, already imaging the warm hug he’d give to them.

"Where’s your mumma?”

When the little rascals grew somber, Harry knew something had happened.

The youngsters were always eager and joyous to share their day to the dad, standing proudly while their mom smiled and giggled along with the tale. They were always here to chatter to him about what mom had said or down or made. But they had seen the way their mom had frantically bounced up the stairs. They knew that something was bugging their mom. Harry leaned down and whirled a brow at the eldest. When she pointed a shaky finger upwards to the second floor bathroom, it was nothing more than a glance around to see what you left behind.

He huffed and looked at the half-cooked misery on the stove, not bothering to clean anything up while he looked for his wife. “Help mumma out and clean up those clothes fo’ me you two!” He called down while climbing.

"Love? Yeh alright?“ His voice sounded like sweet molasses through your ears. A soothing wave to crash your dreary senses after a day of hurricanes.

"No.” Honesty was the only thing you could muster at the moment.

"Can I come in?“ When he didn’t hear a protest, soft knuckles pushed open the door lightly, making sure not to create a noise when he closed it behind him.

You had moved to the floor, sinking into a slouch against the cold wall is some search for silence. He didn’t mind it though. When he took his seat on the floor across from you, the chill of the room wasn’t as sad as the faded look you gave him through thick lashes.

Harry pulled your knees forward with his hands, bringing you on his lap and legs hanging on either side of him. Two large hands kept you centered and stable as you rested you head on his chest.

It was everything, the way his warmth melted into your body and placed a spell on your drowsiness. Feeling him hold you brought slight relief to the slow and steady tears that stained your cheek.

"Why did we have to have kids?” You mumbled.

“Because your the best mum ever. Yeh strong an’ kind an’ put up with everything.” Harry rubs small circles on your back, enjoying the way you conformed and relaxed at the sound of his voice. Your fears were getting the best of you, eating you alive and not bothering to hide form the man that cradled you now.

"Love you.“ You whisper against his warm body and soft shirt. It was a silent thanks, for making you feel loved. He always knew you were going to be a spectacular mother. He saw it in your eyes whenever a kid passed by or when you pet an animal.

"Love yeh too angel”

anonymous asked:

How do you think the boys would react to finding a hidden positive pregnancy test in they're S/O's things? Like hidden in her clothes or something?

Murdoc Niccals:

  • When your boyfriend stumbles upon a white stick in one of your drawers, he immediately knows what it is. this comes from experience i hope you guys know
  • hell no heLL NO HELL NO JESUS CHrI
  • Murdoc, being the person that he is, would freak the hell out.
  • Not externally, no– internally.
  • He would deny that he even saw a thing and leave the test where it sits, because life would be seemingly easier to pretend what happened didn’t just happen.
  • “Pregnancy test? What pregnancy test? What’s a pregnancy test even, haha!
  • chokes on pickle
  • Mudz would be extremely fearful of becoming a father on account of how his father acted… Though he would never confess this to you, it’s always a thought that lingers in the back of his head.


  • 2D would just be searching through your purse for some chapstick or gum, until he finds a plastic baggie inside. Taking the test out of the bag, he would squint to see what the stick even was.
  • When he realizes that it’s a pregnancy test, he throws it on the floor, accidentally breaking it.
  • Well, of course he has to confront you about breaking the stick. Why did he throw it on the ground? Why couldn’t he have just put it back inside your purse? Did you even wash it? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god–

“Stu, why the hell did you throw the test on the ground?”

“Y/n, you know that I go through your purse! Why would you put it in your purse??

“Wait– you go through my purse?

Russel Hobbs:

  • the only one that has the relative stability to handle these things smfh
  • When he accidentally discovers your positive pregnancy test while sorting out dirty laundry, he immediately rushes to you, if you’re even at home. If you aren’t, he finishes the laundry, waiting patiently for your arrival afterwards.
  • He’s kind of shocked, because you guys did use protection… Did you?
  • Nevertheless, he’s very nervous, but kind of excited? Like, he’s basically already raised a child, so why can’t he do it again but just better this time around?
  • When he sees you, he decides to tell the truth, saying that he found it in the pocket of your jeans.
  • When you start to fret about him finding out, he reassures you, making a promise that he will stick by your side since the two of you are in this together. 
  • Noodle can even help, too! She’d be a great babysitter.

if i had a dollar for every time i made a joke in this post, i’d be able to buy like 12 packs of gum

Fuck, I love you

a/n: another request. Hope you guys like it. Also, a little bit of smut, it’s not the best, but please enjoy.


Sammy and I had been a ‘thing’ for about 4 months now I think? I’ve known Sammy all my life, being neighbors back in Omaha. Growing up next to each other, we became best friends. We would tell each other anything. Like how I had a crush on Evan, or how Sammy lost his virginity freshmen year to one of Emily’s friends he took to prom. Literally everything.

Then he moved out to LA, and I was really popular on youtube, so I ended up moving out there and in with my friend Andrea. So I still saw Sammy and everyone else regularly. Still really good friends with everyone, always hanging out and all kinds of stuff.

But then on New Years, we were all at the boys’ house, of course partying. One drink after another, and another and another I was drunk. And according to Andrea, Sammy and I were all over each other that night, groping, making out, and she said she was pretty sure she could tell Sammy was fingering me in the middle of everyone else. And yeah, I do remember most of this stuff, I was drunk, not completely trashed, ya know?

But in our defense, it was very very crowded, and we didn’t think we’d be caught. So after he fucking fingered me in the middle of the room surrounded by like 50+ people, we snuck off to his room and ended up having sex, at like 11ish, and then after that we did it again at like midnight and then at like 4 in the morning.

Not waking up until like 3 the next afternoon, we talked about it, and we’ve just been basically friends with benefits ever since? Except we’re breaking like every rule of friends with benefits. Like, not actually be friends with the person, when we’ve known each other for years, because that leads to rule number two, no feelings.

And I’d say we were breaking that one, or at least, I think I am. Although we never said we liked each other, it showed. We did stuff normal ‘friends with benefits’ didn’t. Like you’re not supposed to go out on dates, or really hang out, or cuddle or anything like that, just purely sex, yet here Sammy and I are. Going out to dinner, the movies, the beach, always cuddling. Just everything you shouldn’t do when you’re friends with benefits, Sammy and I did.

We just never talked about being exclusive or anything like that. We had fun together, and that’s what it was mostly all about. Neither one of us wanting to tell the other how we truly feel. So yeah, I always questioned if he really liked me or had any feelings towards me, because I think a tiny pinch of me, had developed feelings for him. And I was just afraid to say anything because what if he really didn’t feel the same way? Yeah all our dinners and hanging out and shit, we did that before we started having sex, so maybe he’s just doing it because that’s always been what we do.

So here I was, currently in my bed, at me and Andrea’s place just overthinking it all. She had gone out with some of her friends, leaving me home alone. Not that I minded, I was invited, but I was exhausted and just really wanted to relax, and it was only mid-afternoon.

I decided I should probably do something instead of sleep all day, so I ordered a pizza and did some laundry waiting for it to arrive. When it did, I took the pizza and a bottle of wine to the bathroom, making myself a bath with a bath bomb, turning on the radio and just relaxing. I mean, what’s better than a hot Jacuzzi tub, wine and pizza?

Of course I had my phone and shit, so when Sammy texted me I wasn’t surprised at all. I mean, we were friends and talked all the time, we also just happened to have sex…a lot.

From Wilk: hey babygirl, what are you doing?

To Wilk: just hanging out. Why?

From Wilk: I’m coming over. All the boys are out and I’m bored as hell at home.

To Wilk: okay, well just let yourself in, you know where the key is.

From Wilk: alright, see ya in a few ma (;

I got out of the bath, taking my pizza box to my room, turning on my tv while I got dressed. Throwing on a tank top and some booty shorts Dillon let me have to ‘test out the product’ before he put them out for sale. I had just taken my hair out of it’s bun when I heard my front door open and close.

I heard Sammy’s voice call out “Daddy’s home” as he entered my house.

“in here.” I called out from my room.

“mmmm, damn babygirl.” Sammy spoke from my doorway, causing me to turn around to see his eyes glued to my ass.

“smooth Wilk, such a gentleman.” I laughed, holding my pizza box and raising my brow at him, and then nodding towards my bed.

Sammy smiled, removing his shirt and climbing into bed, only in his joggers, patting the spot next to him with a creepy grin on his face. “come to daddy.” He said, and I couldn’t help but laugh, climbing in next to him.

Sammy immediately pulled me into him as we rested the pizza box on our legs. We ate pizza and watched Netflix, and of course I had my wine, which I let Sammy have some of.

We had just finished the wine and the pizza, Sammy throwing the pizza box on the floor. Focusing back on the movie that was playing. Some romantic comedy Sammy picked out.

And I was trying to actually watch the movie. Cuddling with Sammy and just absentmindedly tracing shapes on his chest, tracing his abs and his v-line. And Sammy was running his hand along my side, giving me goosebumps.

Sammy then turned his head, doing this thing that he knew turned me on. He started by licking my neck, slowly up to my ear, and then he started breathing in my ear, his lips so close I could just barely feel them, and then he would bite them. It was so weird, but him doing this instantly got me a little wet.

I was laying flat on my back now, and Sammy was on his side. Kissing my neck and breathing in my ear, making my breathing uneasy, Sammy slipped his hand into my pants. He started rubbing his finger over my panties, teasing me.

“babygirl, you’re so wet already.” Sammy whispered, making me moan a little. I needed him, so bad. Sammy smirked, slipping his hand into my panties, toying with my folds. Rubbing hard on my clit, making me arch my back and moan out.

“Sammy” I moaned out.

“hmm babygirl?” he hummed on my neck as he slipped two fingers into me without any warning.

“mm fuck.” I breathed out. Little moans coming from me as he curled his fingers up inside me.

Sammy removed his fingers, taking off my shorts, panties, tank top and bra, leaving me completely naked, and removed his joggers and boxers, leaving him naked as well.

He smiled at me as he aligned himself with my dripping opening. I could feel his tip barely in me, teasing me.

“Sammy” I whined, raising my hips.

He leaned down and captured my lips, my hands going to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me.

Then I felt him push into me, all the way, making me arch my back and moan into the kiss. Sammy smiled and waited, letting me adjust to him. When I relaxed a bit he started to move.

As his tongue explored the depths of my mouth he started moving slowly. Slow and deep, causing me to moan out, and I pulled back from Sammy’s kiss, to moan out.

Sammy’s lips went to my neck, and my hands to his shoulder blades, my nails digging into his shoulder blades at he started to pick up his pace.

“S-Sammy.” I breathed out as he started to thrust faster and harder, my bed squeaking.

“hmm babygirl?” he groaned. His voice was raspy and he pulled up to look at me. Looking in my eyes he smirked, knowing what I wanted.

He started to slam into me, pulling nearly all the way out just to slam back into me. Getting deeper with each thrust. The sound of our skin slapping together, and the wet noise coming from him completely fucking the shit out of me, along with our moans filled the room. I was screaming his name, barely audible over the sound of the headboard hitting the wall.

I felt a warmth growing in my core, and I reached down to toy with my clit. The intense pleasure of Sammy pounding into me, and the pleasure I got from rubbing my clit I was a mess. I clenched around Sammy, causing him to groan out which almost did it for me.

“Sa-Sammy I’m close.” I cried out, arching my back. My legs were shaking as Sammy moaned out, which did it for me. I screamed as I released all over Sammy. Unable to hold on any longer. Sammy was close, I could tell when his thrusts started getting sloppier. His breathing was uneven, and he moaned out, finally reaching his climax and releasing inside me.

Sammy pulled out and collapsed next to me. His eyes were closed and his breathing was uneven.

“fuck” he breathed before continuing. “I love you.” And then his eyes went wide, and my jaw dropped.

He turned and looked at me, panic written all over his face. I was just as shocked as he was, if not more. I mean, my best friend just told me he loves me.

I rolled over, straddling him and caught his lips with mine. He didn’t respond until a few seconds later, probably shocked as to what the hell was going on. I pulled back, resting my forehead against his and smiling at him.

“I love you too Sammy.”

anonymous asked:

So can I come clean your house and then sit in your living checking tumblr every five seconds like a lunatic waiting for your CN post?? On a serious note, how is your steve remix doing? I know you said it was difficult because of the "who stood where, was it dark, etc". Did it get easier after taking a break? Did you decide if it would be in parts or a long one shot?

Well, I finally got my house clean.  Cats got their vet exam done.  Laundry is almost done.  Pizza is ordered.  Basically, adulting all day!  Look at me, lol.  But, now, I have a glass of wine and I’m sitting down at my laptop to check tumblr, check twitter and make sure we aren’t having a nuclear war, and get some writing done.  

I am finding CN!Steve easier to write.  I kind of exploded with a bunch of inspiration right out of the gate on that one, hit a wall, and now, I think I’m getting back to it.  Other than the specific scenes people who were Team CN in the bidding requested, I’ve decided to do a lot of things that were either mentioned in CN, but not written, or are just Steve sort of off at Shield thinking about Tony.  For example, I was writing some last night that was Steve at the grocery store trying to decide what kind of soap to buy Tony, and he’s smelling all these scented soaps and thinking about Tony, but ultimately, as we know, ends up buying the “right” soap, the dishsoap, to get the grease off Tony’s hands.  So, that’s kind of the approach I’m taking with it, where it is things that we sort of missed out on the first time so I don’t have to do too much of “who was wearing what, how were they standing, was it day/night, cold/hot, what????”  

I feel like it will end up at around 40K.  Which for me probably means 80K, so who knows?  I just write and when I feel like it is good, I’ll post.  It’s still sort of disjointed at the moment and there are a lot more scenes to get to that I really do want to write from Steve’s POV b/c I think there is a lot to explore there in how hard he is trying to figure Tony out and how much of Steve’s ability to adjust in this time gets tied up with his ability to make Tony happy.  That if he could just do that one thing, then maybe this whole stuck in the future thing wouldn’t be entirely terrible.  

Thanks for the ask and your patience!

I tried to watch Gaga’s documentary, but couldn’t finish it. Don’t tell me how hard it is to live with fibromyalgia when you have staff taking care of you.

I’ve gone entire days without eating because I was in too much pain to get out of bed, and my cat refuses to learn how to cook for me. She won’t even bring me a yogurt.

On laundry day I can do nothing else, because it takes more energy than I have for a whole day. And the damn cat won’t learn to fold clothes or put them away.

I don’t have cleaning staff, and a dirty house is a dangerous house. So after working all day I have to decide if I’m going to eat or vacuum, because I often don’t have the ability to do both.

I can no longer afford massage therapy so when my muscles lock up I have to wait it out, even if it takes days. I don’t have a masseuse following me around.

I understand Gaga’s pain and tears, but I don’t have her rich privilege, so I just can’t connect with her right now. And it’s killing me how many so called friends are gushing over how brave she is for talking about her pain. These same people didn’t want to hear about my pain, because it made them uncomfortable. Yeah, pain does that sometimes. It might even keep you up at night. Assholes.

Arrow Minific: Ticket to Ride

Summary: Oliver and Felicity enjoy some suburban entertainment… but Oliver finds himself distracted. 

[You knew I had to do at least one more of these, right? I think this is at least part of why the Hoffmans assume kids aren’t far off…]


She’s biting her lip, with an adorable little crease between her eyebrows, staring at the rows of booths while fidgeting at his side.

And it takes all of the discipline Oliver has cultivated not to reach out and drag her deeper into his arms.

He reminds himself of the children shrieking with laughter as they run past, of the elderly couples demurely holding hands on the nearby benches, of the sharp-eyed women in sweater sets and frowning men in polos surveying the crowd. He tells himself they are only a ten minute walk from their house, where there are walls and solid doors and a bed…

He should not have thought of a bed.

Because Felicity tilts her head to the side and makes a little, “hmm,” of indecision, and it sounds a little too close to some of her softer moans when he’s…

Oliver clenches his jaw, the hand around her waist gripping a little too tightly into the fabric of her dress against her hip, and her face swings up towards him, wide eyes blinking behind her glasses.

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