waiter!usuk

Person B comes home to find the whole apartment cleaned and multiple room reorganized.

Person B instantly drops their bag, closes the door, and searches for Person A.

Person B finds A in their shared room, sitting on the ground and staring into space.

B gently picks up A and lays them down in bed.

Then runs as fast as possible to get tea, chocolate, and extra blankets and bring them into their bedroom.

Person B slips into bed with Person A. They throw the blankets over themselves, hands over the tea and chocolate, and proceeds to just cuddle A.

Person A silently sends their thanks to B, for just knowing exactly what to do.

EXTRA: Person B takes the next day off work to just be there with A and give them all the support they need.

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I’ve Only Got Eyes For You

Day 3 of 25 Days of Christmas

Summary: “You’re a wait person at a strip club and I can’t even focus on the strippers anymore because of you.” Featuring Phil going to a strip club for his 30th birthday and Dan as a very amused waiter. 

Here for AO3

Word Count: 3,708

Genre: A little smut near the end

TW: none

Extra Tags: oneshot, one night stand, strip club, waiter (not sure if the last 2 are tags)

Drabble ~  APH America & APH England (Pirate AU)

Captain Alfred tore the English pirate ship to to shreds; it would not do more than limp to port if lucky. The American captain then went aboard the enemy vessel and captured the enemy, the Pirate for England Captain Arthur. He lifted the small man up and swung back across to his ship and and placed him in the American captain’s quarters. 

“Now I will be taking your booty.” Captain Alfred smiled hungrily.

“But the gold and gems are back on my ruddy sinking ship you wakner!”

“That ain’t the booty I be wanting..” Alfred then pressed the English pirate to bed.

Tipping 101: Lia’s Guide to Being a Good Customer

Hey there, Lia here! Are you in the United States and plan on going to a restaurant, café, fast food joint, or other establishment where food is served? Then you need to know how to tip. Period.

Warning: this is going to be a long post, but I am not putting it under a cut. Why? Because it’s information everyone needs to know. If you’re going to scroll past it, you’re going to have to scroll a lot—you may as well just read it.

So here we go. Here is how to be a good customer and tip properly.

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Part One: Why tipping is NOT an option.

Why do I need to tip?

Many people think that tipping is a way to give your server extra spending cash. Nope. That’s not how it works. In the United States, restaurant owners are not required to pay their servers minimum wage, so long as those servers are allowed to collect tips. According to the Department of Labor, only 7 states—Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Alaska, Montana, and Minnesota—plus Guam, require employers to pay their workers full state minimum wage before tips. In 26 states and DC, employers are required to pay their workers “above the federal tipped minimum wage,” but that number is not specified and so wages vary drastically from state to state. Everywhere else, employers are only required to pay their workers $2.13 per hour before tips—just under 30% of the federal minimum wage ($7.25/hr). The other 60% of the minimum wage is earned by tips.

What if I’m in one of those states that requires employers to pay the state minimum wage?

You still have to tip. Remember that the federal minimum wage is only $7.25 an hour, not even half of what most people consider a living wage ($15/hr), and while none of those states have a $7.25/hr minimum wage, none of them require employers to pay their workers a living wage either. The highest state minimum wage anywhere in the US is $10/hr, which is still not enough to live on.

That’s a shitty system.

Yes it is. It’s an absolutely awful system. You should not be on the hook for servers’ wages. That is the job of the employer. In a perfect world, all restaurants would be required to pay their workers properly. In fact, some restaurants already do that and do not allow customers to tip. These restaurants are doing the right thing. But for everyone else, as long as the law doesn’t require employers to pay their workers fairly, you have to tip. If you protest the tipping system by not tipping, you are an asshole.

Part Two: How to tip

For this crash course, I am only going to focus on “on-site” tips—as in, tips you pay while inside the establishment. Tipping delivery drivers is also something you should do, but I don’t know the rules around that as I have never worked in delivery.

The rules around on-site tipping are shaky, and not all forms of on-site tipping are a general requirement. However, if you are going to tip, you should do it properly. More on that later. For now, let us move onto a form of tipping that is absolutely a requirement….

Dine-in tips

If you are sitting down and eating your meal in the restaurant, tipping is a requirement. Your dining experience has been brought to you by an underpaid server, so you need to tip.

Most people do tips by percentages—usually around 15-20%. However, this can lead to pretty assholish tipping when the food is particularly inexpensive, so this is how you do it properly.

  1. Regardless of the price of the food, start by tipping $2 per seat. If your meal for two was $25, start by tipping $4.
  2. Now you calculate your 20%. Yes, 20%. Whether or not you include beverages when you calculate is up to you, but don’t worry about tipping on the tax—the tax money goes to the state, not the restaurant. (but hey, if you want to tip on the tax you’re more than welcome to).
  3. Remember that $2 per seat you’ve already put down? Okay, now add as much money as you need to get to that $20% calculation. If you were already at or above your 20% with that $2 per seat, move on to step 4.
  4. You’re still not done yet. Did you make any special requests? Was your party more than 6 people? Did you order all the most expensive items on the menu? Did you get there at 6 and are still there when the restaurant is near closing? If the answer to any of those questions was “yes,” add at least an extra dollar per seat. All of these things are extra burdens on your wait staff—especially the lingering. Servers need their tables to turn over if they want to make money. So if you’re going to take up a table for four hours, you’d better be paying for it.

Takeout tips

This is one of those ones where tipping isn’t necessarily a requirement since you’re not being waited on. However, tipping is still a nice thing to do, especially since in some smaller restaurants, servers often take up cashier roles as well.

If you are going to tip, start by tipping at least a dollar per entree (the equivalent of a dollar per seat), preferably two (the equivalent of two dollars per seat). If you follow this blog, you know that there is an asshole who tips on a credit card by rounding to the nearest dollar, meaning he’s tipping in literal cents. Do not ever do this. I explain why in detail here, but TL;DR: tiny tips are a pain in the ass to cash out and sometimes just never do get cashed out. Also, it’s a shitty thing to do.

If you have a large order or make special requests, you really should be tipping, if only to apologize for being a pain in the ass. Here’s where I would say 10-15% is acceptable, depending on how big your order was or how many special requests you made. Note that price increases for special requests or substitutions ARE NOT TIPS. Those price increases are to pay for the food, NOT for the service.

Tip jars

These can be found in cafés, fast food places, and at the cashier station for takeout. If you can, put a dollar in the tip jar. You can also put in your change if you pay in cash, although if your change was under a dollar, it would be nice if you threw a dollar bill in there as well. Do not use the tip jar as a place to dump your pennies—we don’t want them either.

If you are paying for your takeout order and there is a tip jar, you are welcome to either put the tip on your credit card or put cash in the tip jar; both are fine—just make sure you’re putting in the same amount either way. If you have to put the tip on the credit card to tip properly, do it on the credit card.

Part Three: Tipping for Service

As I’ve said before, tips are part of a server’s wages and thus tipping poorly for poor service is a shitty thing to do. Don’t get revenge on your server by tipping badly, people. You may have been inconvenienced, but your server needs that money to eat and keep their lights on. If you have enough money to purposefully withhold tips from a server, you probably have no idea exactly how much they rely on tips to live, so suck it up and tip properly.

However, if you got great service, by all means, leave a bigger tip! Servers rarely receive appreciation or respect for the work they do. Leaving a bigger tip is a way to say thank you.

Part Four: Don’t Be An Asshole

This should go without saying, but unfortunately there are people who do horridly rude things to servers when tipping is concerned. If you do any of these things, you are a horrible human being:

  • Leave cash scattered around the table or balled up
  • Put cash inside your drinking glass, on your plate, or anywhere else where you would not want to retrieve money
  • Make a point of saying that you don’t need to tip on takeout
  • Say “keep the change” if the change is under a dollar
  • Leave a note on your receipt and call it a “life tip”

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Well, there you have it, folks! I hope that this guide has helped you become a better tipper and person. Your servers will appreciate it.

Lots of love,
Lia

idk i’ve been snooping around that site for a bit and all of those reposters are just kids after likes and follows and attention and it’s just… really sad. try making stuff yourself, i assure you it’s more fufilling than constantly checking your phone for notifications or browsing tumblr for art to steal

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