wait-take-me-back

To My Dearest BrittanaCon...

For those of you at BrittanaCon this year, you know that this year has been a hard one for me.  Probably one of the hardest I’ve gone through in the past few years.  I’m not going to share everything I said during our I Feel That When I’m With You It’s Alright discussion again because that’s not for public consumption but these next words, these are for anyone and everyone to read.  Because this Brittana fandom and those of you that attended BrittanaCon this year are important.  You are special.  You are amazing.  You are family.

We talk about that a lot when we discuss BrittanaCon.  How these friendships that we form transcend actual friendship and bring to each of us a sense of family.  For some of us in the fandom, our actual families may not be the healthy and happy and supporting relationships that they should be.  But the family we found in each other through BrittanaCon is all those things and then some.  Of all the things I could have ever hoped to accomplish by having BrittanaCon, this bringing together of a loving fandom family is the one thing that I will forever be most proud of.

There is a lot of work that goes into making this Con happen.  Months and months and hours and hours of work, coordination, frustration, inspiration, mundane administration…apparently all the ‘tions’.  I have no shame in admitting that I have cried over this Con as I’ve sat working on something for it late into the night after just working 14, 15, 16 hours.  I say this not to garner sympathy but to let you all know that every tear, every worry, every doubt that I have during the process is worth it and is washed away by the trust and belief you show my staff and I as you start to purchase supporting and attending memberships and make this Con a real thing.  There will a post coming from our official BrittanaCon Tumblr that will go into more detail about the depth of gratitude for our members but for now, in this post, thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Speaking of heart, all of yours at BrittanaCon were on full display this weekend and it was a beautiful thing.  To see you all laughing and smiling and embracing and flailing and feeling comfortable with each other is such an incredible thing to watch.  Yes, we fangirl over each other when we meet authors or artists or owners of Tumblr blogs/Twitter accounts – and I know I did my fair share of fangirling over you all – but to see everyone meeting and getting to know the person behind the screenname is something that always stays with me long after the Con is over.  As we learned this weekend, and as I learned in a more in-depth way this year, BrittanaCon is important.  Not everyone gets that and I’ve seen the tweets that make fun of us basically for having a Con “about two tv characters”.  And that’s fine.  Those people don’t have to get it.

They don’t have to get that the safe space we create at BrittanaCon can be life saving for some.  I want to say that again.  This fandom and this Con saves lives.  And not in a dramatic overarching way but in a very literal way and to know that I’ve had a part in that by starting this Con moves me in ways that I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to fully articulate.  You are all so open and willing to share yourselves with the rest of us at BrittanaCon.  I am not a religious or even spiritual person but if there is a higher power out there, I believe it is reflected in the love and acceptance and patience that is found at BrittanaCon.  There is always that moment right before you open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable where you brace yourself for the pain that comes from exposing a raw nerve and I like to think that that pain never comes when you are there with us.  That safe space is created by the people that speak and by the people that sit silent, supporting witness as we share of ourselves.  That you allow this Con to be that safe space for you is a gift to me, and I know also for my Con staff, and we promise to always honor that.

Not everything at BrittanaCon is heavy, of course.  The amount of excited screaming and laughter and inappropriate (totally appropriate) discussions and smiling faces is plentiful and can be found everywhere you look.  I can sometimes get caught up in the administration and mechanics of the day’s events but at any given time I could look around the meeting space or at one of our various post-Con party places (better recon for next year, I promise) and see people talking and laughing and listening along as discussions went on around them and it made me really happy.  You all make me really happy.

As nerve-wracking as it is for you guys to take a chance and travel to come to the Con, it’s just as nerve-wracking for me as we start the Con.  I’m always worried and wondering if you are all having a good time, if you’re bored, if you’re uncomfortable, if the pacing of our events is right, if we’re excluding anyone from something we’re doing, if we could have done something better in our planning, if you like the swag we bought…all these thoughts stay with me even through registration.  While those thoughts don’t ever really go away, they fade away to the background and get replaced with happiness and excitement over seeing all your faces sitting in those seats.  (Well, your faces aren’t sitting in the seats.  I feel like that might be a whole other kind of Con)  It feels like “We did it!  We planned and planned and we made it happen and these people are here and we’re going to talk ourselves hoarse over Brittana and feels and flails and how much we are all obsessed with them and with each other and it’s all going to be alright.”

You all make me feel like anything and everything will be alright.  If only for those few days, everything will be okay and will be wonderful and magical.  I will be forever grateful to all of you for that.

I will also be forever grateful to my Con staff – Mama U, Jerzey, JJLives, BTrain, Adriana, Rima, Nic, and Talwyn.  We picked up a few new people this year and they fit seamlessly into everything and that made everything feel easier.  No matter what I asked or what I needed, they were there, willing to put the work in.  To undertake something like this and know that you have people there, right there with you every step of the way is incredible and I am thankful to have them on my staff and in my life.  Every aspect of this Con was formed into a whole with parts that each of the staff members played and if any one part was removed, the whole would crumble.  I genuinely believe that.  Not only were they there for the actual logistics of putting on a Con but they were there for me personally, with words of encouragement or reason or amazing counter-suggestions, and I would not have been there this weekend without them.  There would be no “there” without them.  Our website, wedding reception decorations, our wedding reception playlist, media, photography, video, Prompt Project, author interviews, swag, our Con swag shop, our logos, our program…every single thing you all got to see and experience and take home with you this weekend was because of these folks and if I could spend every day thanking them and giving them hugs, I would.  They believe in me and they believe in BrittanaCon and I consider myself lucky that they all took this ride with me either for the first time or again.  I love you guys!

I love all of you too.  I’m just full of love, apparently.  Post-Con feels will do that to a person.  I can’t believe I have to wait another year to see all of you (though I am going to try my hardest to see as many of you as I can during this year-long wait for the next BrittanaCon) and while that fills me with a certain kind of sadness, it also gives me something to look forward to and I cannot wait to see all of you again (and hopefully see some new and some inaugural BrittanaCon returning faces).

Thank YOU.  Thank you for this weekend, thank you for listening to me, thank you for your hugs, thank you for your laughter, thank you for your friendship, thank you for your inspiration, thank you for your words, thank you for your discussions, thank you for your participation, thank you for your enthusiasm, thank you for giving me a reason.

Until next year…

BRITTANACON IS ON!

The Shepherd’s Crown in London

Oh my goodness, this evening has been incredible, it was so amazing to be with and around so many people who all share the same passion and love for PTerry and the world he created. 

Also, seeing Stephen and Rob on stage reading and talking about the book, how it came together and also about their time with Terry was incredibly memorable and moving. 

hey hi

so just so you know, this teen wolf hole that i’ve fallen into (that’s even a liam reference you see how bad this is) won’t last forever. if you started following me because i’m fitzsimmons/aos/iain af, don’t worry, their time will come and that’s when my blog really gets nuts. i won’t apologize, because teen wolf is fucking awesome, just wanted to clear this up. cause i just looked at my queue and it’s 99% teen wolf. the mid season finale is next week, so hopefully they’ll let me live and get some sleep…at least until fall premiere’s start, then things will really get crazy. this has been a public service announcement, please return to your regularly scheduled programming.

I love you with all my heart and i won’t ever stop loving you. Even if the Sun stops shining, even if our world seems to fall apart. I will always love you even if your life seems useless, even if your hands shake because you can’t seem to find a reason to live anymore. I will love you, even if I’m angry and my words hurt your skin. I will love you through all the good and all the bad moments. I will love you when you’re sad, I will love you when you’re happy. I love you with all my heart and I forever will.
Just stay, love, stay.


beauziel

when the coach tells you that you can come back to play if you change your mind and you really want to because it keeps you in shape and gives you something to do and you’re involved and only have to pick an outfit out 2 or 3 times a week and spirit wear but you don’t because you’re miserable and feel stupid when you’re there lol what do I do

anonymous asked:

34 and 35

34: If you don’t stop looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.

35: You heard me. Take. It. Off.

-*-

Clint couldn’t wait to get back to the compound. Pietro had been driving him crazy the entire mission. It was hard enough to keep his hands off the kid but there’s only so much a man could take. He looked across the jet at Pietro, who was talking with Wanda. He noticed Clint looking and gave him a seductive smile.

Clint was so going to get him for that later. For now though, there was another problem to take care of.

They landed in the compound and Clint got off the jet. He rounded a corner and waited for Pietro. When he walked around it, he grabbed him and pressed him against the wall. Pietro’s eyes widened and Clint’s narrowed.

“Thought you could get away with all that out there, did ya, kid?” He asked. Pietro’s mouth slowly curved into a smirked.

“I was hoping you would get my little hints,” he stated. Clint frowned before leaning forward and capturing his lips in a kiss.

Their teeth and to guess clashed. Clint pulled away and began to work on Pietro’s neck. He pulled away and caught Pietro’s lust filled gaze.

“Shit. If you keep looking at me like that, kid,” he groaned. “We’re not going to make it to a bed.”

Pietro nodded and locked his arms around Clint’s waist. The next thing Clint knew, he was in his room and dizzy. He placed his hand on the wall to steady himself.

“While I recover from that, take off your shirt,” he stated.

“What?” Pietro blurted. Clint looked up at him.

“You heard me,” he said. “Take. It. Off.”

Pietro nodded and pulled off his shirt. Clint straightened up and walked over, connecting their lips. He walked Pietro walked backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. The fell onto the bed and Clint began working on Pietro’s pants. Pietro had just gotten Clint’s shirt of when their was knocking on the door.

“Clint, Pietro,” Natasha shouted. “I know what you’re doing but it’s going to have to wait! Mandatory debriefing! Now!”

Clint cursed and looked down at Pietro.

“This isn’t over, kid,” he said. He got up and pulled his shirt back on. He looked over at Pietro, who was still on his back on the bed. “And fix your hair. It’s a mess.”

He then disappeared down the hall to catch up with Natasha.