Her only crime was she was too independent, that it became her boomerang but also her strongest weapon.
It’s 00:10 Bali time. June 23rd,2017.
Here I am sitting all alone in my kosan, in Ubud. You probably wonder, am I in Ubud for vacation or for self-healing?
If I say I am here for a full time work and part time self healing, would you believe me?
I bet you be saying, wait what? This uptown city girl that knows Jakarta to the very core decided to leave all her glamorous life & privilege behind, over some suspicious work in Ubud? Are you fucking sure? You have been working in one of the biggest retail companies in Indonesia, you handled several top notch brands, you got settled pretty nice and then you decided to leave? Are you for real, Caroline?
I know, I know.
You all must be thinking of that.
Like heck, I was a bit nervous too! I felt like something was a bit off the closer I was about to leave Jakarta and its endless privileges.
But the strength and will of exploring things before I reach 30 kept me going.
Jakarta had been my comfort zone, and the work in that one retail company also too.
So I felt a bit stuck and did not grow better due to the same old, same routines & challenges I faced everyday. I wanted to grow better, achieve more and be more capable than what I am now. That’s why I felt the urge to leave this comfort zone.
But more than all that, I wanted to be independent. Being able to stand firm on my own, while searching for my soul. Sounds a bit cheesy, but hey that’s actually the way it is.
I once heard, sometimes you just need a little push to know where you’re going. It’s like a flock of birds trying to get back home after dawn sometimes they get lost in the way, but however they finally reach home cause they know how to outsmart the obstacles along the way.
I need that. I need to be reassured that I am good enough and know where I am going as well as being capable of almost everything in the world has to offer. The more things I prove that I can do, the more self acceptance I gain as it turns to be my fully confidence.
It’s only been a week, but Bali, especially Ubud had been great so far. I could not thank God enough every minute for every good things I receive. I sometimes even wonder, what the fuck did I do in the past, that I deserve to have all the kindness Bali has to give me?
Getting out of your comfort zone is not an easy task, but I am 100% sure that the process of struggling is something that shape and mold us into someone better and more valuable. You will be amazed of what you are actually capable of, if you follow that one “little push” and trust that it will lead you to somewhere good.
Maybe one day you’ll fly next to me and we can explore all the beauty in this world and what we are about to be.
Can’t wait to hear your story, with one cup of tea, I’ll be listening all ears to you and you can whisper me everything you want to.
I’m stuck between holding on and wanting it all… and not expecting anything to happen for fear of disappointment and changes. I’m stuck between the way it was and the way it is. I’m stuck between typing a “how have you been?” Out and going another day without saying a word. I’m stuck. And I hope you’re stuck too. If you are, then maybe our sticky worlds will collide again but everything will be clean. Everything will be perfect. I won’t be stuck, I’ll fit. It’ll fit. We will fit. Is this what you want too? I wait for the day when I can say, I’ve never stopped being stuck on you.
Your living nightmare has returned and I’m not taking any prisoners this time and before I lay down my opinion on all of your B U L L S H I T. I want to know your thoughts, your questions for me and I think it’s about time we bring back confessions.
Send in your questions, thoughts and confessions. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.
I was supposed to start interning at the museum today and had told the director that I could start today instead of last week because I had an appt that day. So I emailed her today letting her know that I was coming in today but then she tells me that I was supposed to tell her a week in advance and that the lady I’d be working in creates the schedules so I have to talk to her and I did but she’s not gonna be there this week and collections work is at a standstill cuz they’re renovating one of their floors and that I need to contact the director to see what I can do so I did that and I’m waiting to see what she says. I actually considered emailing the director last week just in case and wow I really should have but I got so busy with driving exams that I forgot.
idk..just a hunch. I mean,whoever that was(even if it was really him) they might be following a schedule of some sort. *shrug*. Either that ,or he is still around but chose to stay silent,since nobody actually believed that was him.
i need to get my over-21 driver’s license but i got my under-21 license on 6/26/2015 (aka the day obergefell v. hodges was decided) so that Very Gay Day is on my driver’s license and i don’t want it to not be there anymore