wait this side looks better haha

what I hear each sign say a lot

(based on everyday encounters)

aries - DUDE WHERE ARE YOU YOU NEVER ANSWER MY TEXTS

taurus - come over i’m lonely

gemini - …why isn’t anyone listening to me

cancer - I’m not good at art

leo - you’re all SUFFOCATING me I need to BREATHE just move aWAY

virgo - can we compare answers?? also you need to be more punctual

libra - I’m going to the bathroom do you want to come

scorpio - Nice, but uh… *slowly maneuvers topic of conversation back to them*

sagittarius - Look at the bright side, at least you’re not flunking out of school

capricorn - That reminds me of that one time… *tells the same story at least once a week*

aquarius - See, I don’t know if that’s correct though. I think my answer would fit better? Haha, but we can talk it out.

pisces - Wait can you repeat that I’m so confused

(Translation) Rouge et Noir vol. 1

(R18!! Please proceed only if you’re above 18!)

CV. Yamanaka Masahiro


T/N: commissioned by @ryoutako​ ♥ thanks as always!

This volume definitely has more substantial plot than vol.2 which makes it slightly harder to translate, especially the work-related terms (ughhh) but it lays the foundation to the future volumes and I really like how each volumes establish some kind of connection towards each other. I think that makes this series really interesting and memorable.

So, like usual, please feel free to correct me on any mistaken translations or typos. I took quite a lot of liberties in this cd actually. Other than that, enjoy the ride and get ready to catch some bad guys!

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Don’t Call Me That

Me: wants to write emotional serious parent!phan

Also Me: names their kids Susan and Winston

(tbh I like both of those names like my aunt’s name is Susan and I always thought it was pretty before dnp and I love the name Winnie dnp just ruin everything)

Genre: angst, fluff

Triggers: dysphoria, anxiety over coming out

Word Count:

In which Dan has a habit of calling his daughter ‘sis’ and, well, he doesn’t appreciate it.

~•~•~

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[Miraculous Ladybug]: It’s a Match!

life and secret santa drama kept me away from this for a few days. sorry about that! good news is that this is the result of me chopping a chapter in two, so next update should come quicker. 

continuation of my Secret Santa gift for @neverbetheexpectation  (i guess it’s turning into a New Years’ fic? lol)

[Chapter 1]  [Chapter 2]

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: It’s a Match!

Summary: “Oh my God, I just matched with Adrien Agreste, oh my freaking God! Chat!! Chat, come come come! Look look!”

But Chat Noir wasn’t paying her any mind. Because the moment she started screaming about her new match, Chat Noir tried to quickly exit out of his matches page so that he wouldn’t see who popped up. But it was far too late, because right when he blinked, his phone buzzed with an excited message about his new match.

He was not expecting it to be Marinette Dupain-Cheng.


Chapter 3: Impulsive


Marinette’s phone slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor.

Adrien really wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad sign, but Marinette was definitely not saying anything, and she was staring at him like he had just sacrificed an infant in front of her.

He was afraid he might’ve broken her.

A laugh came bubbling from the kitchen and Adrien’s eyes widened in horror when he realized that Marinette’s father was still in the kitchen and had likely heard his entire outburst. He immediately clamped a hand over his mouth and watched Tom quickly push all the dishes into the sink and tighten the sash on the back of his baking apron. He didn’t look angry so Adrien supposed that was a good sign, but he realized that asking out someone’s daughter in front of them was probably in poor taste and grounds to potentially get him killed . Adrien stood up straight, clasped his hands behind his back, and muttered. “Uh….h-hello. Sir. Um. I wasn’t — I mean I was just.” He cleared his throat. “H-Hi.”

Tom chuckled to himself, walked around the island and patted Adrien on the head. “I think I’ll leave the two of you alone and help Sabine downstairs. Enjoy your lunches.” He confused Adrien further by sending him a little wink before he scurried down to the bakery and left him alone with Marinette.

Who still….wasn’t moving.

Okay, so he anticipated this would go a heck of a lot differently. Oh well.

Marinette’s mouth was moving, but words weren’t coming out, and Adrien was really hoping that this was a normal reaction to asking a girl out, otherwise he was ready to just bolt out of the bakery and jump into the Seine to spare himself the shame.

Adrien’s smile came out more pained than he meant for it to. “Um….so this is usually the part where you say yes or no.”

Keep reading

  • me: haha look what I found! and look at this! oH OH AND THIS TOO! AHAHA OMG THIS!! AND—
  • me: wait shit I'm probably bothering you aren't I?
  • other person: no no it's fine
  • me: haha shit I'm sorry
  • other person: no you're not bothering me
  • me: I'm gonna stop now
  • other person: DUDE I just said—
  • me: sorry for bothering you
  • other person: ...okay NOW you're bothering me
  • me: [pointing] SEE I TOLD YOU

Ok but hear me out, the scene where the twins meet Ultron in the church is actually hilarious, because when you think about it

Ultron went to the church in the center of the city, sat down in the most important chair there, and then said to himself 

WAIT A MINUTE

I CAN DO A DRAMATIC REVEAL THAT I’M A ROBOT

…and that thought became such a high priority that he actually went and got a pretty blanket and draped it over his head for the SOLE PURPOSE of tossing it off to go HAHA BITCHES I WAS A ROBOT THE WHOOOOLE TIME

and then it gets even better, because if you look, he’s sitting in the thinking man pose - which means he put the blanket on, then realized the sides of his face glow through the thing, and instead of going “maybe this is a dumb idea” just sHOVED HIS FIST OVER HIS STUPID CHEEK IN ORDER TO CONTINUE WITH THE DRAMATIC REVEAL PLAN

like I can’t stop laughing because we have no idea how long he was sitting there, head under a blanket, covering up the glowing side of his face, probably snickering to himself “oh man they are gonna be so surprised” jfc what a huge fucking robot nERD 

As long as i live in california i’m friends with Cameron Dallas.
We were at the same school and he always was my favorite person ever.
Not like i had a crush on him, no more like my best friend.
He joined this group of boys who all was at this event named magcon.
It wasn’t the first time i went there with him but it was time that he took me and one of my friends with him and we had the best and worst time ever!

“Guys are you ready?” Cameron screamed from downstairs he was waiting for me and jenn to finally get ready. “Yeah give us one more mintue” i answered laughing. “You exited to finally see matt again?” I asked jenn. Matt and jenn were dating for 2 months now and i swear they were the cutes couple ever! “Yes i really can’t wait to see his beutiful brown eyes again.” She sayed with a sparkel in here eyes. You could see how much both loved each other just when they talked about the other one and this was awsome. Cameron was facing the door as we finally came downstairs. “Why do girls always need so lo-” was all he sayed befor he looked at us. “Wasn’t the wait woth it?” Jenn asked laughing. “Sure it was, when you guys will always look this awsome now i’m gonna wait 10 houers for you.” Cam answered joking. “Haha funny Dallas” was all i sayed and hit him. “Ahh c’mon it was a joke. ” cam sayed smiling and huged me. I was in a bad mood because i had a pretty big fight with nash a bit ago, we were not dating or anything but i liked him and it always broke my heart to see him with other girls and he knew it. “Believe me, he can’t wait to see you.” Cam told me as he put our suitcases in the car. “Everything will be ok!” Jenn sayed and smiled at me, i just smiled back even if i didn’t believed it. *5 houers later.* We finally arrived and i feel the worst i ever did in my whole life. We checked in and then someone helped us with the luggage. I shared a room with jenn even if i knew that i couldn’t sleep in our room or she wouldn’t sleep there. “I’m gonna pick you guys up in like 30 Min ok?” Cam asked and we agreed. You could always hear when someone of the boys arrived because they were screaming and running up to each other. 30 minutes later someone knocked on our door, jenn opened it and no it wasn’t cam, it was matt. “BABE” jenn screamed and jumped in matts armes. They kissed and huged each other and it was really cute to see. “Gosh guys take a room.” Someone sayed in a sassy tone. Then cam, nash jack and jack entered the room. “Ey there’s my little Drama queen” was the first thing nash sayed as he saw me. I just rolled my eyes and stood up. “Hey cutie” jack g sayed and hugged me, followd by jj. “We missed you when we were back home” sayed jj and smiled. “Aww i missed you guys too.” I sayed smiling and i really misse them a lot! “Dude how can they kiss each other this long?” Cam asked laughing. They stoped kissing. “You jealous mate?” Matt asked and gave him this side smirk look. “Nah no need to worry mate, i have my best friend with me and she’s better than any other girl.” Cam sayed and hugged me. “Wow, wow ,wow, hold up, She’s my girl not yours!” Nash sayed in a serious tone. Everyone was looking at him and i was really shocked. “Haha you wish!” Cam sayed and pulled me closer. Nash looked at me and i guess he waited that i say something but all i did was turn my face away from him. *2 houers later* Everyone where finally there and we were sitting in Cameron’s and nash’s room and nash didn’t talked to me anymore. “Is he still mad?” Jenn asked “Well i think so, but honestly i don’t understand why, he was first mad at me, because i was jealous and told me that we’re not dating or anything and now he’s mad at me because i didn’t say that i’m his girl… i don’t understand him?” I answerd. “Maybe he likes you!?” Jenn sayed “Of course he likes her, gosh guys, he just sayed that to see how she reacts when he says that he don’t like her, the problem is that he never thought everything would end like this and now he’s mad because he never thought that you wouldn’t say something when he says that your his girl!” Matt sayed in a serious way. “What did he thought i say or do? Did he hope that i jump in his arm and say ‘aww nash of course i’m your girl’?” I asked. ” i don’t know but you guys need to talk this out” matt answered and hugged me. “Yoo guys, guess who arrived?” jack g screamed with the biggest smile on his face “Ohh well by the way you sayed this i guess your girlfriend?” Jj answered. “Well yeah! ” jack sayed in a confused way. “Someone gonna pick her up with me?” Jack asked and looked at me smiling. “Yeah i’m gonna come with you” nash and me sayed at the same time. We walked downstairs and shanice was already waiting. Both were dating for 4 months now and i was also happy for them! We sayed hi and talked a bit and then walked back upstairs. I took the stairs because i hate elevators and because i wanted that jack and shanice hade some time alone but nash followed me. “Hey can we talk?” Nash asked as he grabed my hand. “Sure” i answered. We sat down on the stairs and started talking. But not like we talked things out no it was just getting worser. “Are you kidding me? I like you but not this way, i would never like you this way!” Nash screamed. I was totally in shock, everytime we kissed, we cuddled, every text and everytime he told me how much i mean to him was a lie. I didn’t know what to answer and i couldn’t because he wasn’t ready yet. “I have another girl, i don’t know what you thought this is but I DON’T LIKE YOU!” I feeled the tears streaming down my face. I was in shock so i just turned around and walked upstairs into mine and jenns room. *2 houers later * “(Y/n)?” Cam asked. I feel asleep while i was listening to music, i slowly turned around to look at Cameron. “Huh?” I asked. “How do you feel sweetheart?” Cam asked with his soft voice. I layed my head back down but cam layed down next to me so we could cuddle. “He told you what happend?” I asked. “Yes, he did and i swear i’m so mad at him how can he lie to you!” Cam sayed in a mad way. “Why did he lie?”i askee confused but that was the last thing i could say befor jenn, shanice and taylor ,shawns girlfriend walked into the room! I actually don’t know how long taylor and shawn are dating because as i met him he was already in a relationship with he and i don’t know why but they always reminded me of lily and marshall from ‘how i met your mother”. All jumped in my bed and hugged me, i feel a bit better! “Don’t think about it!” Jenn sayed. “Let’s go out with the boys and when i say boys i mean matt, shawn, jack and Cameron” taylor sayed winking. I agreed and the boys too. *15 min later* We dressed up and walked out of our room. Of course we had to pick up the boys because their never punktual. We nocked at cams door and Aaron opened it. “Wow!” He sayed We just smiled and and we walked into the room, all boys looked at us. “Woe guys you look aswome!” Carter sayed smiling. “Thank you” We sayed at the same time and started laughing. We talked a bit but as we wanted to leave, nash walked into the room. But he wasn’t alone, no he was with ‘his girl’ and we were shocked as we saw who she is! Part 2?