and even is over the moon when isak says i love you because he'd been waiting for isak to feel the same before saying anything. he didn't want to scare isak but was also so scared isak would never feel the same way and part of him feels "this is too soon you've peaked it's not gonna last" but then he looks at how beautiful isak is in the morning and how he takes care of him and does everything he can to make even happy and thinks "i could do this forever" (i dont think this made sense sorry)
even has been compiling a list of reasons why he loves isak valtersen in his head ever since isak told him “just take it one day at a time“ (he would have been doing it sooner, but under the weight of depression he hadn’t really had time to think further than getting himself through the days.)
it’s on that wednesday that he really realises it, though. he’d thought it from the day he’d gone back to where they’d met, the day he’d thought he’d lost isak - he loved him then, but he didn’t really know it. he didn’t feel it deep in his body, settling into every corner of himself, making him feel lighter and surrounding him with warmth that only increased in isak’s presence.
so that’s reason number one - he makes the world brighter.
and even’s aware, he really is aware, that a person can’t cure depression - and isak doesn’t do that. but reason number 2 is that he doesn’t try to. he just stays anyway, he settles beside even and speaks when he needs to and not when he doesn’t, and he always says the right thing somehow.
even finds it hard to believe that this is the same person from a few weeks ago in the locker room, who said everything wrong (and even still, foolishly, liked him) but he’s grown so much in just a few weeks, and maybe that’s reason number 3 - he cares enough to change his mind.
this is where the problems start, though. even’s brain is loud - deafening, even, and it tells him, yeah, he cares about you, but he won’t love you. it’ll all crash down again at some point. you’re too much work.
but then isak is back in the room, and his brain quiets a bit, he focusses on isak’s warm smile, his soft hand running across even’s check and through his hair, the comforting press of his body against even’s, the calming tone of his gentle words. and he just knows, maybe isak won’t love him back yet, or ever, but he loves isak. maybe he’ll keep it to himself, he won’t say it until he’s sure isak is ready to hear it, but he loves isak.
and he’s trying to focus on one day at a time, because those words marked the moment that he fell in love, but he can’t help but think that isak feels a lot like forever.