wait is that max

anonymous asked:

A magical anon brings gifts of foreshadowing! A plate of spaghetti(Or tacos?), an eyepatch, a single paper flake, Ramen Noodles, a rectangle, and golden flower tea. Have fun, and remember kids, don't do the thing with the sharp thing.

The GIFTS OF FORESHADOWING please the children! Thank you, magic anon! 

However, the inventory is too full! A sacrifice must be made.
(The child hurriedly eats the Ramen Noodles.
+ 15 HP, which heals all STARVATION DAMAGE! HP is now maxed out.)

BONUS:

BLUSHES: * …Wait.

FLOZETTE: * heres ur not so friendly reminder beggars cant be choosers >:O

The God Wars

In the beginning…

belief and rituals shaped the first gods from the dreams of man.

As the civilizations of man grew, so did the strength and influence of their deities. 

In return for sacrifice, the gods gifted their followers with mystic might.

But the people wanted more than these gifts could provide.

In their souls the people found their own power. They called it “Craft.”

The gods, jealous and afraid,

struck down the firsts of these Craftsmen.

Thus the God Wars began.

But the gods were formed from the faith of man. It was a war they could not win.

And so the Craftsmen took up the mantle of the gods and rule in their stead.

okay one last thing before i stop drawing for the day

so i really wanted to make an au for cc and after some thinking i figured i could do a coraline au!! 

basically everything takes place at the camp, max would be like a new camper showing up, nikki is a fucking furry bc i didn’t think anyone else fit very well (i mean heck nikki isn’t a perfect fit but oh well) david and gwen would still be counselors but they would take the role of coraline’s parents y’know?

and daniel and gen/jen? would be like the other parents 

Best Pun Ever

Mallory and Mark Kensington were two star struck lovers who had been married for 12 years. Mallory was a commercial airline pilot and Mark was the captain of a nuclear submarine. They were both very responsible with their money, lived simply, had no children, and no vices. The only exception to their frugality was their dog Max whom they doted on at every possible occasion. Unfortunately for Max, fate had terrible plans in store for him. One dark August day, Mallory and Mark were both at their respective jobs and in a cruel twist of fate suffered major mechanical failures at the same time. In a million to one oddity, they both perished in the astonishing first-of-its-kind airplane/submarine accident.

Keep reading

*picture falls from Max’s bag. Chloe sees it*
C: “ Wait, Max, a picture fell from–uh?! …Thanks, Max, nice shot!”
M: “ What…?”
C: “ I didn’t know you took a picture of me at the pool… I look hella sexy, here!”
M: “ …Shit! Chloe, give it back!”
C: “ Hahaha, no way! …Did you want to keep it for yourself?! You’re such a perv-nerd!”
M: “ STOP IT, CHLOE, GIVE IT BACK! ”
C: “ I could, but I want something in return… ”
M: “ What the hell do you want?! ”
C: “ I’ll give it to you and forget about it… but you have to kiss me. ”
M: “ God, not again! ”

*apologizes for unnecessary scenario*

Miraculous Ladybug classmates as memes
  • Marinette: looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you
  • Adrien: I'm too hot, hot damn
  • Chloé: I came out to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now
  • Alya: CHLOÉ WHAT'S GOOD
  • Nino: *removes one earbud* what
  • Alix: (ง'̀-'́)ง
  • Juleka: *looks at smudged writing on hand*
  • Rose: beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
  • Kim: Kim don't do it *Kim does it* Oh my GOD
  • Nathanaël: (wake me up) wake me up inside
  • Sabrina: *to Chloé* Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
  • Mylène: ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;・_・)┘
  • Ivan: looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll
  • Max: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell