wait but why the notes these are so blurry

Where Do We Go Now? (Part 2)

Here is part 2 of Where Do We Go Now? I was so happy with all the notes I got on the last part. There will be a part 3, so don’t fret :)


Title: Where Do We Go Now?

Summery: Dean and the reader try to deal with life without each other. Will one of them finally be the bigger person and find the other?

~~~

“It’s (y/n) man. I messed up. She’s gone!” Dean’s voice was panicked and his eyes sad.

“What do you mean gone?” questioned Sam as he quickly scanned the note that Dean handed him, eyes getting wider in shock. “What the hell happened?” Sam stepped aside for his brother to enter his room. Dean took a seat in the chair at the desk, while Sam sat across from him on his bed.

“She was upset again, it was Eric. I was trying to stop her crying, and she kissed me. I didn’t know she even liked me.” Dean ran his fingers through his short messy hair. “I didn’t know what to do. I told her the truth, told her that she was like my little sister, and she lost it. Told me that I was just playing her, that I shouldn’t have flirted back. But you know me Sam, I do that with everyone.” Dean looked to his younger brother with pleading eyes, needing someone on his side.

“Dean, are you honestly trying to tell me that you didn’t know she was in love with you? She was practically wearing a neon sign that said it.” But the look that Dean gave Sam showed that he truly didn’t. Sam stood up from the bed, and offered his hand to his brother to help him up. “I’m sorry man. Let’s go find her.” Dean stood up as well, and both of them headed to the library.

Every attempt to find (y/n) was proving useless. She wasn’t answering her phone, and she had turned off her GPS. She must be using cash, because there were no charges on her credit cards. She apparently paid attention to the brother’s lessons of staying hidden. Dean picked up his cell phone after almost an hour of searching to try to call her one more time. He dialed her number and held his breath waiting on the answer. After 3 rings however, only the voicemail answered. Hearing her voice made his heart hurt.

“This is (y/n). You know what to do. Leave a message.”

“(Y/n)? It’s me again. Please pick up. I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to go. We want you here, I want you here. I’m sorry I was so blind. I can’t lose you. You’re family. Please come home.” Dean’s voice hitched on the word home, and Sam’s eyes raised from the computer screen he was looking at. He gave his brother a skeptical look. ‘Just a sister?’ he thought to himself, ‘I don’t think so’.

~~~

The hotel bed was very uncomfortable. There were springs poking into your back, and it smelled. This was a far shot from the comfort of the bunker. Not just the bed, but the company. It had been 5 weeks since you left the bunker. 5 weeks since you left the brothers behind. You missed both of them terribly, but Dean most of all. You could still see the look of pity on his face when you told him that you loved him. How stupid could you be, thinking he would love you back. You were not his type at all. You weren’t tall or blonde. You had a few more pounds on you and were more comfortable in jeans and sneakers then mini skirts and heels. But he made you feel like you mattered. Boy were you played. You looked over at your phone on the nightstand. It read 7:45 am. You still had an hour before you had to be to work at the diner. The day you left the bunker, you got in your car and drove. You didn’t stop until your gas ran out, and called that new town home. Good ‘ol Hastings, NE.

You reached for your phone, and opened the photos. There was only one picture you saved, and it was of Dean. You can’t even remember when you took it. He was sitting in the library in the bunker, looking down at an old dusty book. There was peace in his concentration with a small smile playing on his lips. He looked so beautiful, and you blew it. You quickly closed the picture and opened up your voicemails. You had already opened the wound today, might as well turn the blade. Your finger hovered over the voicemail that Dean left for you the day you walked out. You began to play the message, eyes instantly tearing up as soon as his deep voice came on the speaker. He said he needed you, and he couldn’t lose you. But he called me family. There it is, “like a sister”. This is why you left. He didn’t see you the way you saw him. You threw the phone down on the bed, and headed to take a shower. You needed to cool off.

As you stepped out of the bathroom, all clean and wrapped in a towel, you saw the light on your phone blinking, indicating that you had received a message. The only person who had this number was your boss. You changed your number when you left Kansas. You wrapped the towel tighter around yourself headed towards the bed. You picked up your phone and turned it on. You had one missed call and one voicemail. It was a number you didn’t recognize. Must me a wrong number, you thought, but you listened to it anyway. You heart stopped when you heard the familiar voice.

“(Y/n)? It’s Sam. Boy are you hard to track down.” His soft chuckle made you smile, even as the tear ran down your face. It sure was good to hear his voice. “It took me a long time to find your number, and I’m hoping you are listening to this. I hope you are ok. Dean doesn’t know I kept looking. He stopped after 3 weeks, giving you your space. He misses you though. He’s not the same. Please, call me. We need to work this out. We need you back (y/n).” The click at the end of the voicemail sounded so loud in your ear. Dean gave up looking? You couldn’t decide if you were happy or sad about that. You wanted him to move on, find someone to make him happy, but you hoped, deep down, that you leaving would trigger something in him.

You stuffed your phone in your purse. You weren’t going to call Sam back. At least not yet. You tried to put both Winchester’s in the back of your mind while you got ready for work, but you could already tell it was going to be a hard day.

~~~

Dean sat in his favorite chair in the library, his umpteenth beer of the evening in his hand. Through blurry eyes, he kept looking over at his brother. Sam kept looking at his phone, almost as if he is waiting on a call. Who is he waiting for? Did he meet a girl? When could he have? The thought made Dean angrier than he should have been, it was probably the beer. Why should Sam get to meet a girl? Dean hadn’t so much as looked at another girl since (y/n) left. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was probably being petty. She told him in her goodbye note to find someone else who would make him happy. Who was she to tell him what to do? She was giving up. She left. So out of spite, he decided to leave the girls alone. That would show her. Deep down though, he felt that there may be some other reason why he kept ignoring all the flirty looks from the women that noticed him. Movement from the corner of his eyes drew his attention back to Sam. He was checking his phone again. Anger, and maybe jealousy, made him stride over to him and take the phone out of his hands. Sam protested and struggled to get it back, but Dean was quicker.

“Why do you keep looking at your phone? Who are you waiting for? A girl? Did you meet at girl? How

for you.” Dean said sarcastically. He began to search through Sam’s texts but didn’t see any other than from him or Charlie. His call log however, had an unlisted number that was just called an hour ago. Bingo! Without hesitation, and with drunk agitation, Dean dialed the number. Sam tried to stop him, but he pushed him away. After 3 rings, the voicemail answered, and Dean’s heart sank.

“It’s me. Leave a message.” It couldn’t be, could it? He would recognize that voice anywhere, even with how sad and broken she sounded. (Y/n). Dean hung up the phone, tossed it back to Sam and glared at his little brother.

“Please tell me you’re kidding. You found her? You have been in contact with her, and didn’t tell me? What the hell Sam!” Dean was approaching his brother with a fire in his eyes. He was past mad.

“Dean, calm down. I swear, I just found her number today. I called her and left a message. She probably won’t even call me back, if she listens to it at all.”

“I thought I said to stop looking. She wanted to be away from me. She deserved to be left alone before I wrecked her life even more. Why did you keep looking?”

“I couldn’t give up. Like you always keep saying, she is family. We need her, and man, you need her. Don’t even roll your eyes at me. Look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you don’t love her? You have been a mess since she left.” Dean started to walk back to his bedroom, but Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “No, you do not get to walk away. You will sit down and listen to me. I have dealt with you for over a month now, and I am done.” Dean was taken aback by his brother’s sudden bossiness, but he complied and sat back down in his chair. “You are such a dumbass, do you know that? No, don’t interrupt me.” Sam said as he noticed his brother beginning to open his mouth. He continued.

“Ever since (y/n) came into our lives, it was pretty obvious that you cared for her more than just a friend, or sister.“ Sam drew out the last word like it was a joke. "You will never admit it because you are stubborn. But I also think it is because you feel you can’t get close to anybody. That you need to keep people at a distance so they don’t get hurt. Well guess what? You failed. (Y/n) got hurt, all because you couldn’t admit what we all know is going on in there.” Sam angrily gestured towards Dean, and paused long enough to let his brother know he could speak.

“Sam, you have no idea what you are talking about.” Dean tried to push Sam’s words out of his head, but they wouldn’t leave. He didn’t want to think about her. About how much he hurt her. About how much he missed her. He began to think about the last night she was with him in the bunker. How fast he ran to her room when he heard her yell and the glass shatter. He needed to get to her, to protect her from whatever was making her make that sound. He thought about how he felt when he saw her on the floor, wracked with sobs. The rage he felt when he saw the picture on the floor amidst the broken glass, vowing to never let anyone hurt her like Eric hurt her. He thought about his immense need to comfort her, so he sat on the floor with her until she cried herself dry. He thought about the intense look she gave him before her lips touched his. And that was what did it. Remembering the kiss. It wasn’t the kiss of sister to brother. He finally let himself remember how it felt. It felt like home. Like time stood still, the only 2 people in the world was them. He remembered his blood boiling even though there was a serene calm that washed over him for the first time since he got the Mark. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he looked up at Sam through the blur in his vision.

“Oh God, what did I do? I pushed her away. Why was I so stupid? I love her! Sam, we need to trace that phone number. I need to find her. I need her!”It’s (y/n) man. I messed up. She’s gone!” Dean’s voice was panicked and his eyes sad.

“What do you mean gone?” questioned Sam as he quickly scanned the note that Dean handed him, eyes getting wider in shock. “What the hell happened?” Sam stepped aside for his brother to enter his room. Dean took a seat in the chair at the desk, while Sam sat across from him on his bed.

“She was upset again, it was Eric. I was trying to stop her crying, and she kissed me. I didn’t know she even liked me.” Dean ran his fingers through his short messy hair. “I didn’t know what to do. I told her the truth, told her that she was like my little sister, and she lost it. Told me that I was just playing her, that I shouldn’t have flirted back. But you know me Sam, I do that with everyone.” Dean looked to his younger brother with pleading eyes, needing someone on his side.

“Dean, are you honestly trying to tell me that you didn’t know she was in love with you? She was practically wearing a neon sign that said it.” But the look that Dean gave Sam showed that he truly didn’t. Sam stood up from the bed, and offered his hand to his brother to help him up. “I’m sorry man. Let’s go find her.” Dean stood up as well, and both of them headed to the library.

Every attempt to find (y/n) was proving useless. She wasn’t answering her phone, and she had turned off her GPS. She must be using cash, because there were no charges on her credit cards. She apparently paid attention to the brother’s lessons of staying hidden. Dean picked up his cell phone after almost an hour of searching to try to call her one more time. He dialed her number and held his breath waiting on the answer. After 3 rings however, only the voicemail answered. Hearing her voice made his heart hurt.

“This is (y/n). You know what to do. Leave a message.”

“(Y/n)? It’s me again. Please pick up. I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to go. We want you here, I want you here. I’m sorry I was so blind. I can’t lose you. You’re family. Please come home.” Dean’s voice hitched on the word home, and Sam’s eyes raised from the computer screen he was looking at. He gave his brother a skeptical look. ‘Just a sister?’ he thought to himself, ‘I don’t think so’.

~~~

The hotel bed was very uncomfortable. There were springs poking into your back, and it smelled. This was a far shot from the comfort of the bunker. Not just the bed, but the company. It had been 5 weeks since you left the bunker. 5 weeks since you left the brothers behind. You missed both of them terribly, but Dean most of all. You could still see the look of pity on his face when you told him that you loved him. How stupid could you be, thinking he would love you back. You were not his type at all. You weren’t tall or blonde. You had a few more pounds on you and were more comfortable in jeans and sneakers then mini skirts and heels. But he made you feel like you mattered. Boy were you played. You looked over at your phone on the nightstand. It read 7:45 am. You still had an hour before you had to be to work at the diner. The day you left the bunker, you got in your car and drove. You didn’t stop until your gas ran out, and called that new town home. Good ‘ol Hastings, NE.

You reached for your phone, and opened the photos. There was only one picture you saved, and it was of Dean. You can’t even remember when you took it. He was sitting in the library in the bunker, looking down at an old dusty book. There was peace in his concentration with a small smile playing on his lips. He looked so beautiful, and you blew it. You quickly closed the picture and opened up your voicemails. You had already opened the wound today, might as well turn the blade. Your finger hovered over the voicemail that Dean left for you the day you walked out. You began to play the message, eyes instantly tearing up as soon as his deep voice came on the speaker. He said he needed you, and he couldn’t lose you. But he called me family. There it is, “like a sister”. This is why you left. He didn’t see you the way you saw him. You threw the phone down on the bed, and headed to take a shower. You needed to cool off.

As you stepped out of the bathroom, all clean and wrapped in a towel, you saw the light on your phone blinking, indicating that you had received a message. The only person who had this number was your boss. You changed your number when you left Kansas. You wrapped the towel tighter around yourself headed towards the bed. You picked up your phone and turned it on. You had one missed call and one voicemail. It was a number you didn’t recognize. Must me a wrong number, you thought, but you listened to it anyway. You heart stopped when you heard the familiar voice.

“(Y/n)? It’s Sam. Boy are you hard to track down.” His soft chuckle made you smile, even as the tear ran down your face. It sure was good to hear his voice. “It took me a long time to find your number, and I’m hoping you are listening to this. I hope you are ok. Dean doesn’t know I kept looking. He stopped after 3 weeks, giving you your space. He misses you though. He’s not the same. Please, call me. We need to work this out. We need you back (y/n).” The click at the end of the voicemail sounded so loud in your ear. Dean gave up looking? You couldn’t decide if you were happy or sad about that. You wanted him to move on, find someone to make him happy, but you hoped, deep down, that you leaving would trigger something in him.

You stuffed your phone in your purse. You weren’t going to call Sam back. At least not yet. You tried to put both Winchester’s in the back of your mind while you got ready for work, but you could already tell it was going to be a hard day.

~~~

Dean sat in his favorite chair in the library, his umpteenth beer of the evening in his hand. Through blurry eyes, he kept looking over at his brother. Sam kept looking at his phone, almost as if he is waiting on a call. Who is he waiting for? Did he meet a girl? When could he have? The thought made Dean angrier than he should have been, it was probably the beer. Why should Sam get to meet a girl? Dean hadn’t so much as looked at another girl since (y/n) left. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was probably being petty. She told him in her goodbye note to find someone else who would make him happy. Who was she to tell him what to do? She was giving up. She left. So out of spite, he decided to leave the girls alone. That would show her. Deep down though, he felt that there may be some other reason why he kept ignoring all the flirty looks from the women that noticed him. Movement from the corner of his eyes drew his attention back to Sam. He was checking his phone again. Anger, and maybe jealousy, made him stride over to him and take the phone out of his hands. Sam protested and struggled to get it back, but Dean was quicker.

“Why do you keep looking at your phone? Who are you waiting for? A girl? Did you meet at girl? How

for you.” Dean said sarcastically. He began to search through Sam’s texts but didn’t see any other than from him or Charlie. His call log however, had an unlisted number that was just called an hour ago. Bingo! Without hesitation, and with drunk agitation, Dean dialed the number. Sam tried to stop him, but he pushed him away. After 3 rings, the voicemail answered, and Dean’s heart sank.

“It’s me. Leave a message.” It couldn’t be, could it? He would recognize that voice anywhere, even with how sad and broken she sounded. (Y/n). Dean hung up the phone, tossed it back to Sam and glared at his little brother.

“Please tell me you’re kidding. You found her? You have been in contact with her, and didn’t tell me? What the hell Sam!” Dean was approaching his brother with a fire in his eyes. He was past mad.

“Dean, calm down. I swear, I just found her number today. I called her and left a message. She probably won’t even call me back, if she listens to it at all.”

“I thought I said to stop looking. She wanted to be away from me. She deserved to be left alone before I wrecked her life even more. Why did you keep looking?”

“I couldn’t give up. Like you always keep saying, she is family. We need her, and man, you need her. Don’t even roll your eyes at me. Look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you don’t love her? You have been a mess since she left.” Dean started to walk back to his bedroom, but Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “No, you do not get to walk away. You will sit down and listen to me. I have dealt with you for over a month now, and I am done.” Dean was taken aback by his brother’s sudden bossiness, but he complied and sat back down in his chair. “You are such a dumbass, do you know that? No, don’t interrupt me.” Sam said as he noticed his brother beginning to open his mouth. He continued.

“Ever since (y/n) came into our lives, it was pretty obvious that you cared for her more than just a friend, or sister.” Sam drew out the last word like it was a joke. “You will never admit it because you are stubborn. But I also think it is because you feel you can’t get close to anybody. That you need to keep people at a distance so they don’t get hurt. Well guess what? You failed. (Y/n) got hurt, all because you couldn’t admit what we all know is going on in there.” Sam angrily gestured towards Dean, and paused long enough to let his brother know he could speak.

“Sam, you have no idea what you are talking about.” Dean tried to push Sam’s words out of his head, but they wouldn’t leave. He didn’t want to think about her. About how much he hurt her. About how much he missed her. He began to think about the last night she was with him in the bunker. How fast he ran to her room when he heard her yell and the glass shatter. He needed to get to her, to protect her from whatever was making her make that sound. He thought about how he felt when he saw her on the floor, wracked with sobs. The rage he felt when he saw the picture on the floor amidst the broken glass, vowing to never let anyone hurt her like Eric hurt her. He thought about his immense need to comfort her, so he sat on the floor with her until she cried herself dry. He thought about the intense look she gave him before her lips touched his. And that was what did it. Remembering the kiss. It wasn’t the kiss of sister to brother. He finally let himself remember how it felt. It felt like home. Like time stood still, the only 2 people in the world was them. He remembered his blood boiling even though there was a serene calm that washed over him for the first time since he got the Mark. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he looked up at Sam through the blur in his vision.

“Oh God, what did I do? I pushed her away. Why was I so stupid? I love her! Sam, we need to trace that phone number. I need to find her. I need her!”