Headcanon about you: Hasn't seen a cryptid irl. Has seen them in dreams. Constantly. Every night.
I have a regularly occurring dream in which my former roommates hid my stuff all over Honolulu. Only it’s not the actual Honolulu and it’s obeying the most BULLSHIT cartoon physics- doors that open into different rooms depending on the order you open and close them in, stairs that only go up or down, hallways then end halfway across town and windows that look into rooms that are definitely not adjacent to wherever I am.
I’ve had this dream many, many times and remember all the ‘rules’ and have found about… half my stuff so far. Right now, I’m after my favorite coffee mug and the dream goes like this:
I wake up in the fifth-floor apartment, realize I’m having this fucking dream again. I put on pants, becuase even in dreams people get mad if you go about in any state of undress. Grab POG juice, lanyard with the bell on it and one of Erin’s kitchen knives (because if she stole my damage deposit, I can borrow her knives, the bitch).
Open Front Door.
Close Front Door.
It’s not the right hallway yet.
Open and close door three more times until it opens up into the UH Manoa Student Union.
Walk out student union towards the library, catch the bus headed towards Kaneohe. I call it the 22, but it’s probably not really that route.
Drink juice on bus.
Enjoy the foliage.
Get off on that one lookout on the Pali highway, take the trail. Be sure to say hi to the chickens. They won’t approach, but Not Acknowleging Them is a Bad Idea.
The trail eventually comes out through the foliage into the Honolulu Zoo on Waikiki Beach. this is BULLSHIT, but it’s the only way I can actually get to Waikiki. I could walk there IRL but this route is the only way to Waikiki in this dream.
Walk up a couple blocks to this tiny place that makes excellent pancakes and has a maccaw hanging out at the bar. As with all birds, Say Hi. Do not say hi to any people here. If there are any- it’s usually deserted.
Go out the back door to some shady-looking apartments where I found my laundry hamper, most of my clothes and the air mattress once. Pull back the tatami mats to reveal the trapdoor.
Go down the stairs.
These stairs only go down.
For four flights into solid rock.
at the bottom there is short, creepy metal hallway with a bunch of chains.
Take out knife.
There is a small, thin window that looks into a room that cannot be acessed by going through the wall.
The room appears to be a combination sex dungeon Abattoir.
I have the knife in case whoever owns it shows up.
Is on the fucking table.