Best Grand Theft Auto Quotes (1/?)

Michael: Surviving is winning, Franklin, everything else is bullshit. Fairy tales spun by people too afraid to look life in the eye. Whatever it takes, kid: survive.
Franklin: Damn straight.

Wade Herbert: There’s two Michael Townleys living in LS. One is 83 and the other is in kindergarten. I asked the teacher to put him on the phone just to be safe. She threatened to call the cops. I ain’t no molester, Trevor!
Trevor Philips: Shut up before I molest you, alright?

Wade Herbert: Floyd, it’s me. Wade.
Floud Hebert: Who?
Wade Herbert: Me, Wade. Your cousin.
Floyd Herbert: Who?
Trevor Philips: [kicks open the door, knocking Floyd down] Your cousin! 

Trevor Philips: [looking out over Los Santos] So, Michael, this is where dead men come back to life?

Floyd Herbert: Wade, I heard you was off smoking meth somewhere.
Trevor Philips: No, not somewhere. Here. He’s gonna smoke meth here.

Franklin: [as he, Michael, and Trevor stand over Devin Weston, tied in a trunk] My bad, homie. I picked C. Ain’t that a bitch?

Trevor Philips: Jesus, your therapist has a lot to answer for.
Michael De Santa: I know. I still hate myself. But, at least I know the words for it now.
Trevor Philips: Yeah, but I hate you and I know the words for it. Does that mean I don’t have to go to therapy?

Trevor Philips: You’re back, man. WE are back. All we gotta do is bust out Brad and then we’re golden, man! Franklin, he makes us multicultural. Lester makes it cyber. We’re like modern America. We just get ourselves a gay friend, and BAM!

Trevor Philips: I asked for a fair day’s pay for a fair day’s work. Well, he kinda got a little angry. So, I admit, I kinda got a little angry, too.
Michael De Santa: Did you kill him?
Trevor Philips: What kinda f*cking animal do you take me for? No, I didn’t kill him!
[Michael sighs with relief]
Trevor Philips: But, I did kidnap his wife!

Trevor Philips: So, we are clear, you look like a tit.

Michael: Back from the dead!

Lazlow Jones: Who are these clowns?
Tracey De Santa: [Looks at Michael] That’s my dad and … Trevor?!
Lazlow Jones: Two dads. Very San Andreas.

Christon Gray Signs Deal w/ Kirk Franklin's Fo Yo Soul Recordings

. @ChristonGray Signs Deal w/ Kirk Franklin’s Fo Yo Soul Recordings

Via ChristonGray.com: MAN, THIS IS A BLOG POST I’VE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME TO WRITE. Let’s cut to the chase.  If you haven’t heard yet, on Friday June 19th 2015, I had the privilege of signing a record deal with one of my musical heroes, Kirk Franklin. For the last couple of months, Ron Hill, President of Fo Yo Soul/RCA (and one of the coolest and most professional dudes you’ll ever meet in…

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(I decided to interview my mom about Grand Theft Auto: V. She is in her forties and white.)

Today, I am going to be interviewing you for the video game “Grand Theft Auto: V”.
I will be showing you a series of video clips and I would ask you to keep all comments to yourself until the end that follows questions. If you need to pause the video and go back, or start it over for any reason, you may do so. This includes while answering the questions.
All of the questions have not right or wrong answers.
Thank you.

First video: Official Trailer

1) What did you think of the video?
“I thought the action in the video was great. I thought the graphics were amazing. And I thought it peaks your interests, making you want to buy the game.”

2) What did you think of the graphics? How do they look to you?
“I was very impressed by the fluidness and the realism.”

3) Can you tell me the basic plot of the game/what information about the game that you gathered from it?
“The main character is apparently a retired thief who is being approached to join a group of thieves and he joins them and authorities are out to get him.”

4) Who is the main character that you saw during the clip?
“Tall, stocky, dark hair, male.”

5) Did any of the characters stand out to you?
“The pissed off wife.”

6) If so, how? Please describe what stood out and what they acted like.
“The graphics and the script did a good job of portraying real life of a frustrated, disgusted, pissed off wife.”

7) Finally, do you think the characters, from briefly how you saw them, are bad people?
“ … I don’t believe they are evil people, but I do believe their moral compass is off a bit.”


Second Video: Michael Trailer

1) What is the man’s name that you just watched?

2) What does he do for a living?
“He is a professional thief.”

3) How old do you think he is?
“Forty-five. Forty-two.”

4) From what you saw, what does Michael want in his life?
“He claims he wants a Brady Bunch type life with a close nit family and activities, yet his actions, don’t match his words.”

5) How would you briefly describe Michael?
“A anxious man, disconnected father, poor husband, and in self denial.”

6) Can you describe anything about his children? Any assumptions?
“His children don’t respect him. They’re kinda raising themselves. The daughter is seeking male attention in a non-healthy way. The boy is just frustrated.”

7) What about his wife?
“I think Amanda is disconnected from him and she is doing her own thing.”

8) Finally, is Michael a bad person? Why?
“I don’t believe Michael is a evil person and also I think he does immoral and illegal acts.”

Third Video: Trevor Trailer

1) What is the man’s name that you just watched?

2) What does he do for a living?
“He is a thief.”

3) How old do you think he is?

4) How would you describe Trevor?
“Arrogant, self centered, man with temper and control issues, not the wisest, not the most intelligent. He is going through a mid life crises and needs to take extra risks to get a rush … I think he needs professional help … ”

5) From what you saw, does he have any friends OR family?
“He has acquaintances and he has co-workers co-robbers/co- … gangsters?”

6) How do you think he contributes to the story?
“I think he is the driver and I think arranges things.”

7) Do you think he is dangerous?
“Yes. Very much so- And a prick.”

8) Finally, is Trevor a bad person? Why?
“I think Trevor is a bad person because he is unable to control himself and he needs professional help to address a number of issues. Those issues cause him to do bad things, making him a bad person.”

Fourth Video: Franklin Trailer

1) What is the man’s name that you just watched?
“Franklin, even though they did not say it.”

2) What does he do for a living?
“He is a drug dealer.”

3) How old do you think he is?

4) How would you describe Franklin?
“Self righteous black male, with very bad morals.”

5) What is Franklin’s contribution to the group of thieves?
“He is a runner and a killer.”

6) From what you saw, does Franklin want to con people?
“Oh, yeah. If they stand in his way, he will kill them.”

7) Can you please describe what kind of area Franklin lives in?
“The ghetto. Very poor, run down, unsafe, neighborhood.”

8) Finally, Franklin a bad person? Why?
“Franklin is a bad person, because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and will kill people to get what he wants.”