wade's was my favorite

  • My English Professor: What's your favorite book?
  • Me: The Silmarillion
  • English Professor: That's not a book, that's just a collection of Tolkien's thoughts and ideas
  • Me: Then why is it in book form
  • Me: You want to fucking fight
PROMPT # 159

Super Hero OkCupid. Made by Super Heroes, For Super Heroes. It came up as a joke between Stark and Hawkeye, Spiderman hears about it in the street. He makes a profile to check out the app, and finds out he was the only one not in it yet, thinking it surreal as he reads the profiles and answered questions. When the Super community learns that Spiderman is in OkCupid, everyone is racing to get a piece of his Amazing ass. Too bad they’re no match for Deadpool. Chaos, embarrassment and romance ensue

Submitted by Anon

“Wade and the Pom” - Digital Oil Painting

“Oh, sorry, there was only one shirt, I assumed it was for him… You don’t mind, do you?”

Obviously, this is Wade before the procedure that turned him into his final form. He named the dog ‘Crotchbiter,’ or Bitey for short.

If you enjoy my art, please consider subscribing to my Patreon! I am saving to buy a wheelchair lift.

Not Her Hero

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Deadpool x Reader

Warning: sex worker, language, angst, a tiny bit of smut, Deadpool snark.

A/N: This was from a dream I had. Seriously, I really had a dream about this.

Word Count:3397

Summary: You were a high end hooker and Bucky was your number one customer. He came to you seeking comfort and found that he wanted to help you escape the sex work life. But did he want to do it for you or himself? Or will a merc with a mouth be the one to save you?

“Real love, I’m searching for a real love..”

You stood in front of the produce section of the grocery store, trying to decide how many plums you wanted. Grabbing a plastic bag, you started to pick the best ones and placing them into the bag.

“They look delicious, don’t they doll?”

You froze at the familiar voice, slowly turned to your right and come face to face with Bucky. He looked better, healthier. He wore a maroon colored shirt under a black hoodie, jeans and black cap.

“Bucky!” You smiled widely, throwing your arms over his shoulder and giving him a warm hug. Bucky grinned, squeezing you back as gently as he could, trying to ignore the smell of your hair and the warmth of your body. Flashbacks of all the times the two of you spent together, intimate times locked into each other, hit the man hard. He pulled away and gave you a small smile.

“You look good, beautiful.”

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Hired Help (Part 2) (Deadpool x reader)

Part 1

Language, obviously, because it’s Deadpool.

“Run, run, run,” Deadpool muttered under his breath, pushing you up off of him with a loud grunt so that you rolled right into the pile of shattered glass.  “I think I just saw someone!”

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Ellie Camacho: Deadpool’s Daughter

Ellie Camacho, Wade Wilson/Deadpool’s daughter is one of my favorite child characters in the history of forever. I love that though she is the child of a main character, she’s not just a small clone of him. She is, however, very much his daughter/acts like a child who has been around Wade a lot.

Ellie was the result of a one-time thing between Wade and Ellie’s mother, Carmelita Camacho. Both Wade and Carmelita had been captured by a mob boss, and Carmelita had wanted to have sex before she died. After they were rescued, Carmelita saw Wade’s disfigured face unmasked and ran away in horror. Later, she approached Wade for child support, but Wade didn’t think the child was his because Ellie was “too beautiful.” (Also, a lot was going on in Wade’s life at the time.) 

Years afterwards, Wade found out that Ellie and Carmelita had been kidnapped because of him. He was unable to save Ellie’s mother before she died, but with the help of Agent Emily Preston of S.H.I.E.L.D., he was able to recover Ellie, who was being raised by her kidnapper’s brother.

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Avengers Chatroom: The Other Quicksilver 2

Part one - Which was requested by @m-maximoffs

Pairings: Peter Maximoff x f!Reader

Scenario: The X-Men decided to extend their visit. Tony has had enough.

A/N: Warning: Deadpool.

Y/N has created a chatroom.

Y/N has invited Clint, Sam, Bucky, Wanda.

Y/N: Hey.

Y/N: We have a problem.

Clint: What’s wrong?! What did Peter do? It was him, wasn’t it?! Ever since that boy arrived you’ve been spending all your time with him! Now look what happened!

Wanda: Clint put the bow down.

Sam: And here we have a mother hawk protecting her hatchlings in their natural habitat.

Y/N: Peter didn’t do anything! We’re being haunted.

Clint: Good. I didn’t want to shoot him. I like him.

Bucky: Ghosts aren’t real.

Sam: And trolls aren’t supposed to be real but here you are.

Y/N: Bucky put the gun down.

Bucky: … I wasn’t… Whatever.

Wanda: I think Y/N is right. Strange things have been happening. Every time Pietro goes to sit down, his chair is pushed back and he falls.

Y/N: And my stuff is going missing! It will be right in front of me, then it’s gone! I’m also pretty sure someone has been in my closet…

Sam: My wings are always ending up in strange places. I thought it was Bucky but maybe we are being haunted.

Clint: You know what this means?

Y/N: We have to call them. THE -

Clint: W

Y/N: I

Clint: N

Y/N: C

Tony has joined the chat.

Clint: Damn you, Tony! You messed it up!

Tony: What? Oh they’re not even real!

Y/N: You take that back right now!

Tony: Do you guys really think we have a ghost?


Bucky: Well yes.

Tony: I REALLY AM THE ONLY SMART ONE HERE! Well Bruce is too, but in this chat.

Tony: It’s Peter!

Tony: He’s been doing all of that!

Y/N: Oh that actually makes a lot of sense now.

Wanda: … I’ll just tell Pietro it’s a ghost. He doesn’t need to know the truth.

Wanda has left the chat.

Tony: They have to leave!

Sam: Who?

Tony: These “X-Men.” Ever since they got here it has been chaos.

Y/N: Why? They’re so much fun.

Tony: That’s because they don’t annoy you! And half the time you’re with Peter so you don’t even notice what they’re doing!

Y/N: … Do you have any evidence to back these claims?

Tony has invited Thor, Steve, Nat, Vision, Peter, Peter.

Tony has changed Peter to: Parker.

Peter: Hi turtle <3

Sam: What kind of lame nickname is that?

Bucky: Of course you won’t understand it.

Sam: He’s fast. She’s not. Don’t try to get smart with me.

Bucky: Hey Y/N is he fast all the time?

Sam: … It must get frustrating.

Bucky: To have things end oh. so. quickly.

Y/N: Shut up.

Peter: I stole some kisses too, not just your stuff.

Y/N: …screamsin60differentlanguages. I’m okay with that. SO okay.

Clint: I see you’ve improved from the last time. Less fangirling.

Tony: I bring forth my witnesses. No, victims! With the exception of Peter. He’s one of the perpetrators.

Y/N: Proceed.

Clint: When did this turn into a court case?

Tony: Let’s start with Thor. He is scarred for life! Thanks to Hank!

Thor: It happened so fast…

Tony: Hank also decided to run wild and trash everything in his path. Property damage! Vandalism!

Tony: Then there’s Magneto - or as we now know, Erik.

Tony: He thinks it’s funny to crush my suits! He sneezes, a suit is crushed! He burps, a suit is crushed!

Tony: Then, Mystique or Raven. She thought it was fun to masquerade AS ME!

Nat: It was funny seeing Steve so terrified as to why Tony was suddenly acting so weird. But then she started to go around pretending to be me!

Steve: I was so scared…

Tony: Y/N are you even reading this?!?

Y/N: Hmmm?

Y/N: Oh. Yes.

Vision: She was gazing fondly at Peter.


Tony: No! There’s still Vision and Parker left!

Parker: I don’t have any problems with them. Kurt and Ororo are fun to hang out with.

Vision: And Scott and Jean are intriguing.

Parker: Scott is teaching Vision how to flirt.

Peter: But Scott sucks at flirting.

Parker: I know.

Vision: … This explains some of the reactions I got when using his techniques.

Pietro has joined the chat.

Pietro: Tell your dad to stop trying to adopt Wanda!

Peter: But she’s my sister.

Pietro: She is MY sister! Not yours! We’re not related!

Pietro has left the chat.

Tony: Parker tell Ororo to stop making it rain above me!

Parker: It’s because you’re so upset over this.

Y/N: Tell her to make lightning.

Tony: I’m collecting their stuff! They must leave today!

Tony has left the chat.

Steve: How’s he going to get them to leave?

Nat: Not sure. Erik will just crush more of his suits.

Sam: Are you forgetting who they haven’t riled up?

Steve: … Tony wouldn’t.

Vision: He would.

Steve: Oh no.

Steve has left the chat.

Wolverine has joined the chat.

Wolverine: Who’s the big green guy?

Thor: Lady Natasha, it seems they will need our assistance.

Thor has left the chat.

Nat has left the chat.

Bucky: Who are you?

Sam: Wolverine. What kind of name is that?

Bucky: Are you a werewolf or what?

Wolverine: I see you lost an arm. Would you like to lose the other?

Bucky: I should go help Steve.

Clint: Where’s Y/N…?

Bucky has left the chat.

Clint: Or Peter…?

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: My Wolverine senses are tingling.

Wolverine: Wade.

Wade: I knew there was a reason for the sudden increase in temperature. Hi Wolvey. I ever tell you that you’re my favorite?

Parker: I thought I was?

Wade: Not now Peetie. The grownups are talking.

Clint: Has anyone seen Y/N?



Wade: Well I happen to know. I’ll reveal in a few minutes.

Parker: Seriously?

Wade: Who the fuck is Parker?

Wade has changed Parker to: Peetie.

Wade: Much better.

Wolverine: Just tell em, Bub.

Wade: I love it when you call me that.

Wolverine has left the chat.

Clint: Can you tell us now?

Wade: Okay let’s see here. I wrote it down. 

Erik has joined the chat.

Erik: Has anyone seen my son? My reaction was not very good when he told me the truth by accident.

Wade has added Charles.

Wade: Tell your boyfriend to float a metal bar up his ass because it is rude to interrupt others.


Wade: Okay I wrote:  “Meet Y/N and Klepto at the X-Mansion to leave dog treats in Hank’s room. Also must shit on his lawn as revenge… but wait he must already do that.”

Sam: Thanks…

Wade: “Should also pick up condoms for Klepto. Would it work though? Are there condoms that accommodate light speed?”

Vision has banned Wade.

Sam: I take it you want to prevent your hatchling from having their own hatchlings?


Clint has left the chat.

Sam: Birds these days.

Vision: Aren’t you called the falcon?

Sam has left the chat.

Vision has left the chat.

Erik: I’m not ready to be a grandfather yet!

Erik has left the chat.

Charles: If I still had hair it would have fallen out by now. I didn’t agree to all this stress.

Charles has left the chat.

Y/N: Hey. Sorry Peter and I were playing ping pong.

Y/N: What the hell, Wade.


Peter: Light speed…

Y/N: Don’t get any ideas.

Peetie: They should have known better than to trust Wade.

Wanda has joined the chat.

Wanda: Has everything calmed down?

Peetie: Nope.

Tony has joined the chat.

Tony: My plan was ruined!

Peter: Is the big guy gone? I liked him.

Wanda: Half our team is gone.

Tony: To where?

Y/N: The X-Mansion.



Peter: Hold on tight.

Y/N: What?

Y/N has left the chat.

Peter has left the chat.

Tony: Could’ve carried me there as well…

Tony has left the chat.

Wanda has left the chat.

Peetie has left the chat.

Pietro has joined the chat.

Pietro: Wanda the ghost is back.

Pietro: …I’m scared.

Pietro: Wanda?


Pietro has been disconnected.

sometimes I think about, what if comic book universes had character merch to the same extent we do? imagine characters buying their own merch. tony stark in a “genius billionaire playboy philanthropist” t shirt. steve rogers going jogging in a captain america hoodie. wade wilson goes to buy tacos and pulls out a “merc with a mouth” wallet. imagine.