wade wants to do good so bad but never gets to be the hero

The relationship between misogyny and romance: a SJM study

Why female desire* isn’t problematic, but A Court of Thorns and Roses is.

In which I wade into an issue in depth, praying that the flame war gods do not strike me down.

**Please note that this essay discusses only the misogynist elements of SJM’s writing in the ACOTAR series. There are obviously other problematic elements that require acknowledgement, but this is the one I feel confident in addressing. I haven’t read any of ACOWAR yet.** 

*also, female desire in this instance refers to the desire of the presumed female reader of romance. The reading of romance and YA is obviously not exclusive to women, although a lot of the assumptions of SJM’s work ascribe to the concept of a binary gender.

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No Sleep Till Brooklyn, Part 1

Heartmate Series: Steve Rogers x Reader

Characters: Steve Rogers, Deadpool, Falcon

Warnings: language, hinted sexual/physical abuse, violence - Deadpool’s in it guys, it ain’t PG. 

A/N: This is my take on the soulmate trope. It’s not necessarily an AU, because technically heartmate is canon in the Marvel world - at least with Wade’s comics. This part is an introduction to the characters!

Summary: You’re a mutant turned mercenary, working with the best merc around - Wade Fucking Wilson aka Deadpool. You are also someone who doesn’t believe in the whole heartmate crap. How could two people solely be made for each other? Steve Rogers is Captain America,  Avenger extraordinaire. Call him old fashion, but he believed in heartmates and knew he had one out there. The two of you cross paths one day and things get set in motion. Can Steve get passed the jaded wall you built or would things just crash and burn? And will Wade Wilson finally learn to put the seat down after taking a piss? Who knows.

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anonymous asked:

Hi, could you do a fic where Spideypool are a secretly married couple and have to hide the fact from citizens /enemies when they are dp&sp ?

It’s been so long, and the reason is, I GOT INTO UNIVERsITY!! Yay!! I’m gonna try and pump some of these out, but yay!!

Peter stumbled into the Avengers building, coffee cup in hand, barely awake.  Tony had called him in extra early, which was unsurprising. Ever since he had started working for stark industries, he was called in either for work business, or superhero business. Tony was the only one who knew about his double life, so it was touch and go when he walked into the building.
Peter let himself in, punching in the code to the lab tiredly.  He froze when he saw the Avengers standing around tensely. He clutched his cup to his chest and resisted the urge to pull down the mask he knew wasn’t there. They all paused in their conversation to stare at Peter until the silence was too awkward and he had to laugh nervously.
“Peter,” Tony said, waving his hand at him to come into the room. “We’re in the middle of something, but you can just come in and work. Just stay quiet over there, okay kid? I need that thing fixed.”
Peter nodded and swallowed down the feeling that he had made a mistake. Was he supposed to come in uniform? He sat in the corner and put his headphones in, but he could feel Natasha and Clint’s eyes boring into his back.  
Steve cleared his throat. “Okay, so we are in unanimous agreement about what we discussed?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Peter could see a few hesitant nods.  He pulled out his toolbox and started quietly working, even though he had finished this project weeks ago.  
“Good, then I guess, let’s bring him in.” He could sense a hardness in Steve’s voice that Peter recognized as dislike. He had a sinking feeling in his gut, even before the door opened and Wade’s familiar voice.
“Hi, team! I brought snacks!” Peter turned to see the bright leather of Wade’s Deadpool suit, and groaned a bit, pushing himself into the corner more. Wade hadn’t spotted him yet, but he knew his situation would be a hundred times more embarrassing when he did.
“Okay, listen pal, just because your working with us doesn’t make you part of our team,” Clint grumbled
Wade stepped forward and laughed obnoxiously. “Gee, that’s rich coming from you, cupid.”
Peter felt himself involuntarily tense. Clint was an okay guy, but he and Wade were not on good terms. He resisted the urge to turn around and tell Clint to keep his bitter remarks to himself, but Natasha beat him to it.
“Boy’s please, your making our guest uncomfortable.” He felt a tight grip on his shoulder. Oh god. Peter shrunk into himself as Natasha gave him a look, and recognition flicked across Wade like a light globe.
“Oh, this is just too good!” He laughed clapping his hands together and rubbing them cunningly as he walked around the table to stand by Peter’s hip. Peter glanced at him, trying to give Wade his best warning look, but as per usual, it had no effect.
“Where are my manners? I’m the Deadpool of your dreams. And you are the handsome beauty of my dreams. I’m digging this nerdy college boy look baby! It’s really turning my floppy drive into a hard disk if you know what I mean!”  

Peter felt embarrassment crawl up his neck as Wade regarded him. The room paused again and Steve piped up.  

“I’m not quite sure what that means but please, let’s get to the issue at hand, and leave Tony’s employee’s out of it.”
“Why Captain of course, but there’s nothing I’d like more to have my hand on Tony’s employee. Peter, is it?” Wade leaned down to speak to Peter, tiptoeing his gloved fingers across the desk.  
Peter sighed. Wade absolutely loved doing this, pretending that they didn’t know each other. He liked having a special secret all to himself.  
“Don’t worry baby boy, I know that you already know me. I’m like, big news now or whatever.”
Peter felt the corner of his mouth twitch up.  He turned back to his table, as they started discussing “important” things that they needed Wade for.  
Wade wasn’t listening, even though Peter was. Wade was too busy smiling at Peter and watching him tinker around with scraps.  
Once the meeting was over (Peter assumed it was over, because Bruce had stormed out, and Thor was now trying figure out how to eat the doughnuts Wade had brought) Wade turned back to him with a cheeky grin.
“So baby, now that all that stuffy business is over, howsabout we go out for some grub! As you can see by the god currently stuffing his face, I have great food taste. I’d love to take you out and treat you well, baby.”
Peter smiled looking at him and lowering his voice. “I thought I was cooking tonight? I bought ingredients yesterday.”
“They’ll stay good for one more night Petey, let’s eat out tonight! Now that you’ve got a high-tech job, I think we should celebrate!”
Peter snorted and set down his screwdriver. “We can’t go out, Aunt May is visiting tomorrow remember? The house is a total mess hun.”
Wade pouted and tugged on Peter’s sleeve like he did when he was trying to get his own way. Even after a couple of years, Peter still couldn’t resist it.
“Fine, if you go home right now, and vacuum, we can go out for dinner.” Peter leaned closer and dropped his voice even lower, just the way he knew Wade liked. “And then we can get cozy in bed with dessert and watch the next episode of whatever show you want.”
Wade moaned and wrapped his arms around Peter’s shoulders whispering into his ear “This is why I married you.”
Peter made a mock-offended sound. “Wade, I married you. Now go vacuum, please.”

Wade was standing on the sidelines, next to the one and only Captain America, ogling at his husband’s ass in tight spandex. No matter how many times he woke up next to Peter, his sweet ass still blew Wade away.
“Good god, that is a sweet goddamn ass. Oh, bless.” He watched as Peter flipped in and out of buildings, being the first part of their four-part attack plan against some bad guy. Wade wasn’t really listening, he was only there to make sure Peter was safe, and to watch his amazing body.  
Steve looked back at him with a frown. Wade rolled his eyes.
“C'mon Cap! I know you’re all about righteousness and whatever, but don’t tell me you don’t sometimes have a peek! It’s natural man, every red-blooded male does it yo!”
Wade ignored the skeptical look the hero gave him and clapped him on the back. “Nothing is as good as Spidey’s ass, though, by god. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and I doubt I ever will.”
Steve looked uncomfortable, shifting his shield in his hand.  
“I don’t appreciate that kind of crude conversation. Aren’t you…married.”
“Oh yeah! I’m so married! Married hard!” Wade ripped off his glove and showed his ring for emphasis. Peter and Wade had bought it together, and for once, looking down at his rumpled skin actually made him feel proud. The gold nestled there reminded him of Peter’s vows, of his promises to love and cherish him, every part of him, even the parts that Wade didn’t like.  
The memory made Wade’s heart squeeze and made him smile goofily. When he looked back up, Cap was giving him an incredibly strange look. Wade didn’t really care.  
Peter landed on the wall next to wades head, signaling the second phase of their plan. Cap sprung into action, diving into the battle as Wade moved over to scrape his husband off the wall.  
Peter laughed, swinging around him before noticing his bare hand.

“What’s this then?” Peter challenged with a smile. “A wedding ring? We’ve been rendezvousing this whole time and you’re married? I can’t believe it.”
“Yes, it’s true. I’m married to the most beautiful, funny and smart man in all the world! He has the most bangin’ bod, well, second only to you.”  
Peter snickered, taking the moment alone to twine his fingers with Wade’s and play with the ring.  
“He sounds like the luckiest guy in the world.”
“He will be tonight. I’m making pasta.”
Peter laughed, patting his head as Wade put his glove back on. “Well, I’m jealous. And busy. If we keep trapezing like this we are going to get found out.”
“I like how taboo this is baby.” Wade said, wiggling his eyebrows, “What do you say, after this, do you wanna get out of here? Go somewhere a little more private? We can have a bath together? There will be wine and Ben and Jerry’s.”
Peter smiled, placing a chaste kiss on Wade’s mouth before climbing up the wall. “Sweetie, you had me at bath.”  

9 Reasons Deadpool is Surprisingly Feminist (NSFW)

1. Four Excellent Examples of Strong Female Characters.

Vanessa, is a quick-witted sexually adventurous woman attracted to Deadpool for reasons beyond his physical appearance. Angel Dust, literally a strong female character who can go toe-to-toe with Colossus and is not shy about her Lesbian activity. (She recognized Vanessa because she frequents that strip club.) Negasonic Teenage Warhead though meant for the purpose of mocking teenage angst, still a powerful ally in control of herself. Blind Al, a crotchety elderly person that shows how women can be just as disgustingly funny as men. Also she’s not within the typical age range of 18-24 years old, a female demographic over-represented in hollywood. (Seriously, I bet the number of women over the age of 35 in superhero movies is less than the number of times I’ve watched Brony porn. Hint: Less than three…I was kind of curious and I wanted to see what the rage was about…and no shame if you’re into that kind of thing because clearly Deadpool is–which leads me to my next point.)

2. It’s Okay for Men to Like Unicorns.

Yes, feminism means men get equality too! For example a man can possess feminine qualities (graceful, nurturing, emotional) like feminine things (pink, dolls, fashion) and still like vagina, without being called derogatory terms. Besides unicorns are awesome and everybody should like them. They are glittery war machines which look amazing while impaling your enemies. Clearly, they are Deadpool’s favorite mythological creature.

3. “Happy International Women’s Independence Day”

If you’ve seen the movie then you know what I’m talking about. (Spoilers) We all know Deadpool was kind of into it. (See every Deadpool comic ever.) Here’s a hint: lots of women want to try it.

4. Gender Fluidity

Deadpool himself is a gender fluid character. Though the plot of the movie is the classic damsel in distress, it doesn’t mean that he’s locked in with the uterus express for the rest of his life. Deadpool is well known for his wide range of sexual attraction. An example is the end credits sequence in which he shows his attraction for Ed Skrein. When was the last time you saw an action hero consensually taking it from behind?

5. “I pity the guy that pressures her into prom sex.”

Ultimately this is a nod to every female who has had the unfortunate experience of being pressured into sex (It happens more than you think.) But Deadpool is pointing out that Negasonic Teenage Warhead is more than capable of handling herself and pathetic losers should beware. Notice I said ‘losers’ in general because ya know… women will pressure people into having sex as well. (It happens more than you think.)

6. Three Excellent Examples of Emotionally Mature Men.

Wait a minute… does that mean…Deadpool is emotionally mature????  Sure it does, ultimately he’s a guy dealing with terminal cancer who uses a revenge plot and humor to cope. (There are worst ways of coping–like crack.) He never picks on the weak or powerless to feel powerful. At the beginning of the movie he helps out the girl in the skate park and does not expect redeemable sex. On Wade and Vanessa’s first date, when presented with the instant opportunity of engaging in sex he chooses…ski ball. He’s not a man ruled by his sexual desires, like so many men in pop culture are perceived to be. Not to mention, he gives the bad guys an opportunity to walk away. Feminism calls for men to be allowed to show emotions other than rage and sexual ferocity. Deadpool shows a vast array of emotions from joy to despair. Major props to Ryan Reynolds for possessing the acting chops to pull it off.  

Colossus is an all-around gentleman. Though practically a walking fortress, still manages to be gentle, considerate and believes in a higher standard of morals. He tries to convince Deadpool to do the ‘hero’ thing, allows Angel to fix her costume during a wardrobe malfunction, and he is disgusted with violence. Men should be allowed to dislike violence just as women should be allowed to like violence.

Weasel is a good example too but barely skates under the wire because he’s a bad friend (Betting on Wade’s death, making fun of his appearance, getting distracted at a strip club during an important moment.) However, he is supportive of Deadpool and Vanessa’s relationship, occasionally encouraging Wade to pursue it. Or even laughing along with Wade while he goes through his darkest times. Perhaps he placed that bet against his friend because he is confident in the fact that, “He never wins at anything,” and therefore Wade is safe from death. He may be a good/bad friend but, more importantly, he’s honest about his actions. Example: “I’d go but I don’t want to.” At the end of the day, honesty counts for a lot.

7. Equal Display of Genitalia

So many times women are the ones naked on screen, which happens in this film. Mostly we get well-endowed breasts and ass, occasionally we get hints of vagina. However, there are so few times men are naked on screen. Penises…Penes?…Penii(I had to google it) are the most underrepresented genitalia in film, probably second to man butt, and then followed by vagina with hair. But in this film we get equal representations of both sets genitals. We get Wade penis and butt as well as breasts, female ass with a dildo attached, and vagina. This film is an equal genitalia employer.

8. Demonstrating the Realistic Problem of Female Costumes.

Angel Dust’s wardrobe malfunction is shedding light on a major problem in superhero films. Superhero female costumes are hella unpractical, more so than male costumes. Realistically, there would be a nip slip in every battle. Everyone one on the planet would have seen Wonder Woman’s melons by now–different comic universe I know. Take it from us well-endowed females…these things need to be strapped down when in motion.

9. Slaughtering the Box Office on Valentine’s Day Weekend.

We always expect the big movie on Valentine’s day weekend is the love crazed-women dragging their obedient boyfriends to yet another Katherine Heigl movie (just kidding Katherine you’re lovely). But no…this year it was equally men and women secretly rejoicing that such an awesome movie would be dawning on a weekend that would make date night exciting. The fact that Deadpool broke records at the box office and claimed king of the weekend meant female ticket buyers contributed to the success. (Believe it or not–but women will pay for date night.) Which undoubtedly proves women can enjoy violence and butt jokes just as much as men. And at the end of the day isn’t that what gender equality means? I dream of a world where men and women can laugh at butt jokes together!

Civil War

Summary: You and Dean don’t see eye to eye when it comes to comic book universes. 

Word Count: 1377

Warnings: None

Pairing: Dean x Reader

This is my entry for @jaredpadasexyy ‘s Easter Challenge. This was beta-ed by @avasmommy224.

Prompt: 20. “Marvel is better than DC”

Your name: submit What is this?

You were sitting in your room watching a movie. Which movie? Only the best cinematic masterpiece of all time: “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”. You had just gotten to the highway scene. Cap and the Winter Soldier were going hand to hand, blow for blow. Even though you had seen this movie a million times, you still found yourself on the edge of your seat.

Cap had just ripped the Winter Soldier’s mask off and revealed his face.


“Who the hell is Bucky?”

You couldn’t help but say the line in sync with Bucky and let out a little squeal as it was one of your favorite lines in the movie. And as luck would have it, Dean happened to be walking by at that exact moment.

“What are you squealin’ at?”

Your finger hit the pause button on the remote. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

Dean gave you a suspicious look as he took at seat on the other side of your bed. “If it’s nothing, then why’d you pause it?”

You turned to him with an irritated look on your face. How dare he intrude on your quality time with your two husbands? “Because I would like to watch it alone.”

“Why? Is there a dirty scene coming up?” Dean said raising his eyebrows.

“God no! I just enjoy the movie more on my own, that’s all.”

Dean gave you another suspicious look, this one more teasing.

“Yeah, sure” he said doubtfully “I believe that.”

“It’s true!”

He put his hands up in surrender, “I believe you, I swear! Cross my heart and everything.”

You rolled your eyes as you unpaused your movie and turned back to it. Dean moved closer as he started to watch the movie as well. After a few minutes into the resumed movie, you turned to him only to see a confused look etched on his face.

You looked back at the television, trying to decipher what could’ve caused his confusion and came up with nothing.

“So what’s so special about him?”


“Captain America. All he has is the power of ultimate frisbee.”

You feigned a gasp, touching a hand to your heart, “How dare you!”

“I’m just saying,” he shrugged, “ He doesn’t have any powers and the only weapon he has is that stupid shield. He’s just another buff dude punching bad guys.”

“Oh and your precious Batman is so much better? He’s a vigilante with abandonment issues.”

“So what?”, his voice getting louder, “He kicks ass, point blank period. How can you like Captain America over Batman?”

“Because Marvel is better than DC.” You said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Bullshit!”, he said standing up abruptly.

“It’s not bullshit,” you said standing up as well, “It’s a fact!”

This continued for 10 minutes until Sam walked by and heard the screaming match.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

You both took a breath then directed your screaming at Sam, trying to explain your point and throwing jabs at each other.


You and Dean both went silent glancing at each other, then looking down at your shoes like children that have been reprimanded for being too loud.

“Now,” Sam started after a long pause “What is the problem?”

Before either of you could speak and start screaming again, he held up his hand. “ Y/N, you first.”

“Aww, come on!”

Sam gave Dean his bitch face at his outburst before looking at you for you to speak.

“Well,” you started, “I was just in here minding my own business and watching my movie, when someone” you said pointedly “Decided to interrupt me. And I can feel you rolling your eyes Dean.”

“That’s because you’re being ridiculous.”

“How am I being ridiculous?”

“We are not starting this again” Sam said wiping a hand down his face.

“She’s not telling the whole story.”

“Then what is the whole story?”

Dean crossed his arms. “She said, and I quote, ‘Marvel is better than DC’.”

Sam looked at him with a confused face. “So?”

“So?!”, Dean asked incredulously, “What do you mean so?! DC has Batman and Superman. You know, real superheroes. Unlike Marvel where everyone has to go through an experiment gone wrong to be a hero.”

“At least our films are better!”

“In what universe?”

“In all of 15 of Marvel’s!”

“Whatever.” Dean said waving you off, “Our movies are amazing.”



You turned to him fully now, looking him dead in the eye, “Batman Vs. Superman.“

“It was great!”

“It was trash!”

“Says who?”

“Says ‘Rotten Tomatoes’.”

“Oh and Marvel’s so much better according to them, huh?”

“Don’t make me pull out receipts! I will pull up their website so quick-”

“THAT’S IT! Conversation over!” Sam grabbed Dean by the collar of his flannel and hauled him out the room.

“I’m not done!” Dean yelled.

“Well I am!” Sam responded, not breaking his stride out of the room.

You stood there after the door closed for a moment, wondering what the hell just happened. You didn’t dwell for long, anxious to get back to your movie without interruption.

After your movie had finished, you decided to walk around the bunker to stretch your legs. As you rounded the corner to the library, you saw Dean sitting at them table reading lore. You sat down across him, knowing that it was stupid to ignore him.



“So…we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Good.” You looked around the room, not sure of what to do or say.

“Can I ask one thing?”

“Is it going to start another argument?”

Dean shook his head, “No, I’m just curious about something.”

You leaned back in your chair as you braced for his question, “Shoot.”

“What makes you like Marvel more than DC?”

“Dean…”, you sighed.

“No, I really want to know! I’m not going to judge, just tell me.”

You began to pick at the bottom of your shirt, getting ready to go into detail about how your love for these superheroes came to be.

“Well, when I was younger I was kind of an outcast. I was one of five black kids in my entire school, but I could never really connect with them because I wasn’t ‘black enough’.” You said the last part with air quotes and looked up to Dean, expecting the normal look of pity you usually got. To your surprise, that’s not what you got. Instead you saw a look of interest in Dean’s eyes, him waiting for you to continue. So you did.

“I found friends in comic books. Marvel to be exact. Then high school came around, and my mom wanted me to be more social. There was a comic book club and I decided to join. I was a little nervous because not only was I the only black kid in the club, but I was the only girl. I thought I was setting myself up to be another outcast, but I was wrong.”

A smile graced your face as the memories came flooding back.

“It was then that I realised that nerds are one of the most accepting people in the world,” you said with a slight chuckle. Dean had a smile on his face as you continued to talk about all the good times you had in the club and all the friends you made. Seeing your face light up did something to him.

Once you realised you had been rambling, you became embarrassed. Dean didn’t need to know all of that, and he probably didn’t care. Oh how wrong you were. Dean could listen to you talk for hours and never tire of it.

“Well maybe I should give Marvel a chance.”

“Really?”, you said with hope. Having Dean possibly share your love of Marvel made you unbelievably excited.


“Well I have all of the Marvel movies here if you want to have a marathon or something?”

Dean looked at you with a large smile, “That sounds like a good idea.”

You both stood up from the table and began to walk towards your room.

“I think you’ll like ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’. Oh, and and ‘Deadpool’! Definitely ‘Deadpool’. I see a little ‘Wade’ in you.”

“Who’s Wade?”

“You’ll see.”

Tagging for reading list purposes:

@just-another-busy-fangirl @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @deathtonormalcy56


Peter Parker + “Did the trash monster from sesame street tried to mug you?”

Being close friends with Peter Parker had its up; like Peter never forgetting your birthday or the anniversary of your friendship, and how he always picked you up a coffee before school or a whole pizza every time you two crammed for an exam, or the fact, the you were the one person in the whole world who he trusted enough to know he was spiderman. Of course it had it’s downs too, like having to cover for Peter every time his disappeared to fight crime, and getting ditched so he could fight crime, and of course, being hopelessly in love with him while he had no idea because he would not stop pinning after Liz-motherfucking-Allen.

But none of the downsides mattered when he came to you at three in the morning on a Tuesday after a particularly bad night of patrols. His mask was in his hands and his left eye was already starting to swell while the cut on his right cheek wouldn’t stop bleeding.

“Peter?” You asked rhetorically, rubbing your eyes as you pushed open your window so the spider themed hero could escape the cold.

“Hey Y/N,” he whispered. You hand flew to your nose once he was in your room and the window was once again shut. You didn’t want to be mean, you were used to the smell of blood and sweat emanating off of him, but tonight he smelled like Midtown High’s dumpster.

“Good god Peter,” you hissed, your voice coming out funny due to your hand being clamped down on tip of your nose,  “Did the trash monster from sesame street tried to mug you?

“What?” He asked, to which you answered with a simple, “You fucking stink.”

“Thanks,” he said humorously, “Wade threw me in a dumpster.” You opened and closed your mouth a few times,

“Why would Wade toss your ass in a dumpster? And I’ve met you after you’ve dumpster dived, so what dumpster smells as bad as that one?”

“There’s a club on 77th and Roosevelt-”

“What were you doing by a gay club?”  Peter pulls a face,

“I thought I was going to stop a shooting-wait, why do you know where gay club is?” You shrug deflecting the question. Club Evolution was a mostly latino gay club that you and friends went to when you wanted drinks and not to get hit on.

“What do you mean you thought?”

“Wade was the shooter, when I tried to stop him he through me in a dumpster and left me there.” You sighed.

“At least he didn’t shoot you.” You motion for Peter to sit at your desk while you walk over to your dresser, pulling out a first aid kit, a pair of sweatpants and a baggy long sleeve shirt.

“Take the suit off Peter, if we want you in somewhat presentable shape I need to see what I’m working with,” you instructed.

“Sir yes sir.”

“Oh, and Parker,” you say, “When I’m done cleaning your cuts you’re taking a shower.”

“Sure thing, and Y/N?”

“Yeah Pete?”

“Thanks for being here, for me.” You don’t answer him verbally, instead you offer a up a kind smile which he returns.

Being best friends with Peter Parker had its ups and downs, and truthfully, you’d take all those downs just for moments like these.

Not Her Hero

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Deadpool x Reader

Warning: sex worker, language, angst, a tiny bit of smut, Deadpool snark.

A/N: This was from a dream I had. Seriously, I really had a dream about this.

Word Count:3397

Summary: You were a high end hooker and Bucky was your number one customer. He came to you seeking comfort and found that he wanted to help you escape the sex work life. But did he want to do it for you or himself? Or will a merc with a mouth be the one to save you?

“Real love, I’m searching for a real love..”

You stood in front of the produce section of the grocery store, trying to decide how many plums you wanted. Grabbing a plastic bag, you started to pick the best ones and placing them into the bag.

“They look delicious, don’t they doll?”

You froze at the familiar voice, slowly turned to your right and come face to face with Bucky. He looked better, healthier. He wore a maroon colored shirt under a black hoodie, jeans and black cap.

“Bucky!” You smiled widely, throwing your arms over his shoulder and giving him a warm hug. Bucky grinned, squeezing you back as gently as he could, trying to ignore the smell of your hair and the warmth of your body. Flashbacks of all the times the two of you spent together, intimate times locked into each other, hit the man hard. He pulled away and gave you a small smile.

“You look good, beautiful.”

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anonymous asked:

prompt : chuck tries to get steamy with Betty and she doesn't want to but chuck won't take no for an answer? I thought of this when I saw Betty and jughead slapping/punching chuck so maybe jughead could come in to get him away from her? This is kinda bad but ugh

Chuck is just a typical douche in this, he doesn’t get really physically forceful or anything because I wasn’t comfortable writing it that way. Fluffy Bughead at the end though :)


Betty looked around her in frustration, circling in place. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. All she’d wanted was for a few of Jughead’s close friends to come round to the Andrews house, eat some good food, listen to some good music, have some much needed teenage fun for a night.

But then Hurricane Blossom arrived, trail of debris in tow.

Betty waded through the crowds of people, barely recognising anyone in the sea of faces that blocked her view as she desperately tried to find the birthday boy. He’d disappeared at the first sign of alcohol, running to find some kind of sanctity away from the tormenting masses that invaded his space.

“Betty Cooper. What, no black wig tonight?” The leering voice came from behind her. She closed her eyes for a beat, suppressing the surge of anger that shot through her at his tone, before turning to face him.

“What are you doing here, Chuck?” she demanded, not wasting a minute on humouring him. He raised his eyebrows, gesturing round the room vaguely.

“Err, if you hadn’t noticed it’s a party. Where else would I be?” he smirked.

“It’s Jughead’s party,” she shot back, voice hard as stone. His eyes widened briefly before he blinked away his shock.

“Dracula threw a party? Man, it’s always the quiet ones,” he chuckled, shaking his head. Her fists clenched, nails poised above the skin of her palms, ready to break the surface.

“No,” she spoke slowly, as if to a child. “This party is for Jughead; it’s his birthday and none of you should even be here.” The cocky expression didn’t leave his face as he looked her up and down, not paying the slightest attention to the words coming out of her mouth.

“You know, that sweater’s cute and all but I think I prefer the last outfit I saw you out in,” she sneered, voice low. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips as he took a step closer to her. She took a faltering step back, aware of how close the wall was to her back, how close Chuck was getting to her. He continued his prowl, dark eyes glinting in the dim flashing lights, predator stalking its prey. He was inches away from her now, backing her into a corner. Betty tilted her chin up in defiance, meeting his eyes with steel in her own.

“Do you remember what happened last time you messed with me, Chuck?” she spit through clenched teeth. A spree of emotions flickered across his features, remembrance, fear, anger, before settling back into his lazy smile.

“Yeah, you and your pal Veronica put on a little show for me. Hey, are you wearing that lacy bra tonight?” he crooned, hand reaching forward to begin to rest just the tips of his fingers against Betty’s waist.

In a flash her hand snapped up, slapping him firmly across his cheek. His face whipped sharply to the side, unprepared for the impact. Her eyes burned, a fury building up inside of her the likes of which she’d never felt before. First the party she lovingly prepared for Jughead had been crashed, said boy was nowhere to be seen, and now Chuck had dared to try his luck. It was enough. Her head began to spin, reality blurring with blind range as what was real slipped further and further from her grasp.

Chuck barely had his mouth open, preparing to throw out an onslaught of abuse, when he was yanked from in front of her eyes. She blinked rapidly, coming back down from her adrenaline rush, to see Jughead standing a few feet away, pupils blow wide and nostrils flaring as he braced himself in front of Chuck.

“Get your hands off her.” His voice was ice, the sharp edge slicing through the music as a crowd gathered around the pair. Chuck scoffed, squaring his shoulders as he prepared for a fight.

“Oh, look. Quasimodo gets the girl and all of a sudden he thinks he’s the hero,” he laughed, upper lip pulled back in a snarl. “Why don’t you-” His sentence was cut short as Jughead’s fist flew through the air, landing on Chuck’s cheekbone with a dull thwack. A chorus of ‘ooh’s rang out across the crowd as Chuck stumbled back, the surprise causing him to lose his balance and tumble in an ungraceful heap to the floor.

The feeling suddenly returned to Betty’s heavy legs as she looked at Jughead, chest heaving menacingly as he shook out his injured fist. She rushed to him, placing both hands on his chest, tilting her head to try and get him to look her in the eye. His eyes flew to hers and she blanched at the storm she met there, sky blue replaced by rolling grey. At her recoil he blinked, tension releasing from his muscles as his hands came up to delicately circle her, resting shaking fingers against her back.

“Come on, Jug, let’s go outside,” she soothed, gently pushing on him until his legs started walking backwards towards the front door.

The cool air hit their flushed faces, a welcome relief from the stifling, stale air of the party. He turned from her, edges of his sneakers tilting over the precipice of the Andrews’ front porch. She stood behind him, twisting her fingers nervously as she watched his shoulders rise and fall with deep breaths.

“I wouldn’t have let him do anything,” she began, small voice deafening in the quiet night air. She startled at his humourless laugh.

“I…” he paused, shoulders hunching as he deflated, anger leaving him at the sound of her voice, washing over him in soothing waves. “I know that, Betts.” He turned to look at her finally, eyes sad. “Of course I know that. I didn’t think… you shouldn’t feel…” he sighed in frustration, unable to get his words out. She was inches away from Chuck touching her and she sounded like she was… apologising? “Betty, I just don’t want anything, or anyone, to hurt you. Ever,” he breathed, reaching out with uncertain hands to cup her face. She went to him gratefully, burying her hands in the fabric of his sweater, leaning into his slightly clammy palms. “When I saw him, crowding you like that,” he closed his eyes, trying not to relive the memory. “I just saw red.” Betty pushed herself even closer to him.

“I feel like this is all my fault, Juggie,” she mumbled, lip quivering. “I just wanted you to have a nice birthday and then all this happened, because of me!” Her eyes filled with tears. He hushed her gently, trying to quash her worries with soothing strokes of his thumbs, catching the water droplets from her lower lashes before they could fall.

“No, Betty, don’t say that. I know you only wanted to do something nice,” he smiled, dipping his head to meet her downcast eyes. “I love the thought,” he whispered, rejoicing in the small giggle that slipped from her lips. “I’m sorry that Chuck ruined your party,” he said with a furrowed brow. She just shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter, it wasn’t the night I wanted anyway,” she sniffed, shaking her head. He placed a hand at the base of her neck, pulling her forward to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. She sighed contentedly, breath blowing against Jughead’s throat.

“I’ll never let anyone you don’t want get that close to you again,” he promised against her hair, tucking her head beneath his chin. They stood for moment in silence, wrapped around each other in the bright moonlight.

The sound of something smashing followed by loud cheers from inside broke them apart. Jughead rolled his eyes as Betty pulled back, straightening her shoulders and wiping away the lingering moisture beneath her eyes. Her gaze darted briefly to her own house across the road, windows dark and peaceful. He caught her look, raising an eyebrow in question.

“No one is home… wanna watch a movie?” she asked, offering him a warm smile. He laughed, lacing his fingers tightly through hers.

“Yeah,” he nodded, tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear. “That’s exactly what I wanna do.”

Just Guys Being Dudes

Peter liked people. Generally speaking, he enjoyed people as a whole. People were cool. Peter was a people person, he might even say. That’s who he was. People are a big part of saving people, and Peter saved people. And that was that.

So, yeah, Peter liked people in general.

But sometimes, sometimes Peter found himself disliking people individually. Again, not a weird thing. No one was expecting Peter to feel all warm and fuzzy over Doctor Doom or the Green Goblin or Doc Ock. But he hated them on principle. They were bad guys, who were trying to take over the world and kill people. Peter had to hate them. 

And then there was fucking Gene.

Peter could easily punch Gene in the face and not feel even a little bad, even though the worst thing Gene had ever done against New York was litter, and even then he’d picked up the coffee cup and tossed it into a garbage can when he’d realized that he’d dropped it. Gene was honestly a good person, which did nothing at all to explain why Peter wanted to slam his head repeatedly into concrete.

Gene worked two labs over at SI and was overtly friendly. He wasn’t an intern like Peter was, but he’d been hired straight out of college so they were close in age. This fact seemed to have connected itself in Gene’s head somehow and would not leave. And Gene took this age similarity to mean that he and Peter should be the best of all buds. Peter didn’t hate Gene for this. It was a good idea to go out and make friends. 

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What You Know (Peter Parker)

Originally posted by akamatthewmurdock

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader feat. Deadpool/Wade Wilson
Warning: Cursing, drug use (don’t do drugs kids)
Summary: The Reader is a rebel and gets in trouble at school, causing Tony to use an alternative form of punishment by forcing the reader to be friends to Peter Parker, a quiet good guy that has a crush on the reader though the reder refuses to be his friend even though they too, have a crush on Peter.
Author: Dizzy
A/N: Hey! Another Peter Parker fic for your enjoyment! It’s inspired by the song “What You Know” by Two Door Cinema

Masterlist Request a Prompt

“Do you not understand what consequences are?” Your father asked.

“I do; I just don’t care.” You replied with a smirk. “Besides, that teacher really deserved getting his furniture glued to the ceiling. It was the perfect prank.”

“You tried to glue a man to the ceiling!” Your father sighed, exasperated. “You know what? This time there isn’t going to be another grounding for you.”

“Thank God.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“You’re gonna get a punishment, you know, something taken away.”

“What are you going take? My will to live?” You rolled your eyes. “You know, I took Psychology. They say punishments don’t do anything for behavior.”

You father ignored your last few statements as he continued on his rant. 

“You’re going to spend all day everyday for the next few weeks with Underoos.”

“Parker? Peter Parker? You’re going to make me spend all day with that twerp?!” You cried, about to start an argument. “That isn’t fair! He sucks! He’s all goody two shoes and faints at the sight of Liz! I could kick his ass and I have!”

“It doesn’t matter. You need to learn a lesson and this is how it’s going be. You made your bed, kid.”

“I haven’t made my bed a day in my life.” You huffed, earning a chuckle from your father. 

That was when there was a knock on your bedroom door, the loud staccato of knuckles rapping against wood made your eyes roll in a knowing way as it was opened to reveal Peter.

“Hey, kid. Nice to see you. I’m going to head to the lab and I’ll leave you to it. I suggest getting Y/n to do their homework since they never do it.”

“Like hell I’m doing it!” You argued, arms crossed over you chest. 

“You made your bed, remember?” 

And with that, your father left you alone with Peter, who stood in the middle of your room awkwardly. 

“Here,” You kicked the desk chair in front of you to him. “Have a seat. We’re gonna be here a while.”

“So…” Peter trailed off, taking a seat and spinning his chair back and forth. 

“So you’re my babysitter, huh?” 

“ I wouldn’t say that. I-”

“How long has that ‘kick me’ sign been on your back?” You asked, your head cocked to the side as you caught a glimpse of the paper attached to Peter.

You watched as Peter twirled a bit and leaned forward. You ripped the paper off his back before you pulled away, tossing the paper in the trash.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Listen, Parker,”

“It’s Peter.” 

“Fine. Listen, Peter, I don’t want you here as much as you don’t want to be here. My dad’s just forcing you on me cause he thinks you’re a good influence. No offense, you’re kinda boring.”

“You do realize Mr. Stark’s paying me, right? So I want be here.” Peter replied, finding the confidence to speak up.

“How much?” You asked, causing Peter to pull out a wad of cash from his pocket. 

“Umm… about fifty dollars for the next week.” 

“Chump cash. Maybe we could get a gram for that and have cash left over.” 

Peter shoved the money back into his pocket, giving you a look as he processed what you told him.

“Mr.Stark says you’re a bad influence, that you’re a good girl with bad habits or something.”

“Eh, you got the bad habits part right. I’m not much of a good girl. Plus, my dad’s never around anyways, not after my mom left,  so what does he know?” You got up and walked over to your window. “I like to have fun, okay? You should learn to do that.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought up-”

“Don’t get soft on me, Parker. If you’re gonna be hanging around me, you gotta toughen up.” You snapped. 

“I like to think I’m pretty tough.”

“Please, You got your ass kicked in Germany.”

“How would you know?” 

You turned away from the window and took a seat in front of Peter. 

“Cause I was the one doing the ass kicking most of time.”

“You’re Vagabond?! The anti-hero who fights with that maniac, what’s his name?”

“Deadpool.” You corrected. “Yeah, I am, but you better keep your damn mouth shut about that. I swear if you tell anyone about that, I’ll cut your dick off and feed it to my dog.”

“You don’t have a dog.”

“I’m about to get one if you cross me. But, yeah, I’m Vagabond. Whatever.”

“Dude, I’m like your biggest fan.”

“Yeah, I know, you told me right before I kicked your ass for fucking up Sam and Bucky.”

Peter rubbed his neck and looked down at his shoes as he spoke, “Right.”

“Listen, you wanna go out and have some fun? I can feel my dad’s eyes burning in the back of my head with all the shit he has in here.”

“Yeah, sure. Where are we going to go?”

“You’ll see.” You replied with a wicked smile.

You slipped on your jacket and grabbed your bag as you slapped Peter’s shoulder. 

“We’re about to become good friends.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be friends.” His statement sounded more like a question.

“Just roll with it, okay? The first rule of hanging out with me is not questioning me.”


And that was how you found yourself sitting on the fire escape to your friend’s apartment, smoking weed with Peter Parker, who you only got to do it after much convincing. And you somehow got him higher than a jet, laughing with you as you talked.

“So, Parker, what else did my dad tell you about me?”

“He told me some stupid shit.” He laughed before taking another hit. “This is really fun.”

“Hey!” You snatched the blunt from his hands. “Cool it with the smoking, alright? I paid good money for this shit.”

“You didn’t pay for it! You stole it!”

“Just shut up!” You yelled, dropping the blunt in the process.

“Oops.” Peter said as he burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Y/n? What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!” Wade yelled as he walked over to the fire escape. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” You cursed, looking at Peter. “You better keep your damn mouth shut, got it?”

Peter nodded, gesturing as if he zipped his lips as you dragged him into the apartment. 

“Hey, Wade.” You greeted, acting as if everything was normal.

“Who’s the little shit bag you were smoking with?” He asked as he pointed to Peter.

Peter was seated on the couch, playing with a little action figure he found. 

“He’s my, uh, my friend.”

“Your friend?”

“Yeah, my friend.”

“You don’t have any friends.”

“I have you.”

“You’re my sidekick, like Robin for Batman.”

“Uh, no. I’m not your sidekick. And I sure as hell am not Robin cause Robin’s kinda a bitch.”

“And you aren’t? You broke into my house!”

“I brought chimichangas.”

“You are forgiven.”

“Thanks, Wade.” You scoffed.

“Woah.” Peter gasped, moving to your side. “You’re really pretty.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You tried to play it cool, though you could feel a blush rise to your cheeks.

You had had a crush on Peter for a while at that point. He was cute and smart, two things you liked about him, but you couldn’t stand at how much of a nice guy he was, as odd as it sounds. You were irritated by his kindness,maybe because you were the very opposite, but nevertheless, what you didn’t know was Peter’s crush on you. 

“I really really really really really really really like you.” Peter sang, throwing his arms around you. 

“You’re really really really high, Parker.”

“It’s Peter.” He pouted, making you feel as though you were going to melt. 

“That’s nice, Parker.” You said, prying the boy off of you. 

“You know, I gots a big crush on you.” Peter stated, elongating the sound of the word ‘you’.

“Again, that’s nice, Parker.”

“She’s got a crush on you too!” Wade yelled between mouthfuls of chimichanga. 

“Wade!” You shrieked. “That was a secret.”

“What? He won’t remember cause he’s kind of passed out on my fucking couch.”

“Goddammit, Parker.” You mumbled as you turned around to see Peter passed out, half on and half off the couch. 

After a few hours of hanging out with Wade and avoiding the many calls from your father, Peter finally woke up, his high starting to wear off as he sat up with a groan. 

“Nice to have you back.” You stated, not looking at Peter as you stared at Wade. “Go fish.”

“Goddammit! I’m done.” Wade growled, throwing his cards at you. “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too.”

“What time?”

“How about tomorrow?”

“Nah, not tomorrow. Francis needs a good ass kicking.”

“Damn, what a shame.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Um…guys?” Peter spoke up and your laughter ceased. 

“Yeah, Parker?”

“Can we go now? Aunt May is gonna freak out if I don’t come home for dinner and when she freaks out, I freak out and-”

“Okay. We get it.” You cut him off as you stood up and slipped on your jacket. “Smell ya later, Wade.”

And with that, you and Peter were off once again, out on the street and on the way to dropping Peter off at the subway. 

“Listen, Y/n, I said somethings while kinda out of it-”

“More like really out of it, but go on.”

“Right. Well, I might’ve said some things you’re probably going to kill me for so can we just forget about it?”

“What kind of things did you say that I’d kill you for?” You asked, playing dumb to get him to say what he told you before. 

“Well, I remember saying that I liked you. Which I do, I just think you should just forget about it cause you think I’m too boring and nice and-”

You grabbed Peter’s arm and yanked him towards you, crashing your lips into his before pulling away as quickly as you kissed him.

“When you come by tomorrow, we’ll hang out, maybe watch Star Wars or something. I love those movies.” You said quickly, turning on your heel before walking away and leaving Peter to stand on the sidewalk in awe. 

Maybe Peter Parker wasn’t such a bad guy after all.


Submitted by @notanembarassingname

“He’s gonna be here any minute now, just please don’t embarrass me.”, Peter said to his parents as he paced back and forth through the living room. The door bell rang and he sprinted to get to the door first. Peter adjusted his shirt and ran a hand through his hair before smiling and opening the door to greet his new boyfriend, Wade. Wade smiled and held a small bouquet out towards Peter mumbling that they were for him. Peter invited Wade with a smile and a peck on the cheek.
“Dads, this is Wade. They guy I told you about.”
“Its great to finally meet you.”, Wade said as he shook hands with Steve and Tony, “Peter here is just a doll. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me, I couldn’t be happier to have him in my life.”
Peter blushed and looked at the ground while Wade smiled softly at Peter. Tony rolled his eyes.
“Well, that’s fantastic, Wade. You hungry? We made pasta.”, Steve said in an attempt to save the moment from getting awkward. Everyone sat down as Steve began bringing dishes to the table. Peter was practically glued to Wade’s side and Tony stared straight ahead as the two whispered cutesy romantic stuff to each other. It made him sick.
Steve sat down and everyone began passing food around the table before digging in.
“So, Wade, I believe Peter has mentioned that you’re out of school. What do you do for a living?”, Steve asked.
“Umm. I work with a group of guys.. we teach self defense classes.”, Wade stammered as he tried to come up with a better job than what he actually had.
“Oh, really? That’s nice.”, Steve chose not to acknowledge the obvious lie.
The family continued to eat in silence for a bit before Peter quietly pointed out that Wade had some Alfredo sauce on his face. Peter smirked as he used his thumb to wipe the sauce off Wade’s lip. They giggled together, not noticing the “kill me” look Tony was giving his husband.
“So. Wade. Peter has told us about the whole Deadpool thing. When did you become a superhero?”, Tony said as he gave a Peter a look.
“Oh, I’m no hero. I’ve been like this for a few years now. But being an Avenger would be like a dream come true.”, Wade smiled. Tony almost scoffed out loud.
“Maybe cut down on the confirmed kills, kid. You won’t even be considered if you keep this up.”, Tony said bluntly. Steve gave Tony a look. Wade noticed that this family made a lot of weird faces.
After dinner everyone moved into the living room to watch a movie. Steve popped some popcorn while Tony stared directly at the television screen in an attempt to ignore the young couple sitting near him. Peter had his legs propped up over Wade’s lap as the two whispered and giggled quietly.
“Whoooo wants popcorn?!”, Steve said enthusiastically as he brought in two bowls. He handed Peter and Wade their bowl first and was making his way to sit by his husband when Tony grabbed his hips and pulled him onto his lap for a quick kiss.
Once Steve got comfortable next to Tony he glanced over at the teens. Wade was slowly feeding Peter popcorn and the two grinned at each other, completely ignoring the cinematic masterpiece that is Back to the Future.
Tony rolled his eyes at the movie science. Completely illogical. Then he saw his Peter and that guy he was with. He rolled his eyes again and dramatically yawned.
“I think I’m about ready to hit the hay, what about you Steve?”
“Its only 8:4-”, Steve was cut off by an elbow in his ribs, “oh yeah… I’m getting kinda tired. It was great meeting you Wade.”
“I’ll walk you out.”, Peter offered as the two stood up.
“I’m so glad I got to meet you guys. Have a good night Mr. Stark, Mr. … America.”, Wade smiled and headed towards the door.
“It’s official. He’s a jackass.”, Tony sighed.
“Oh he’s not that bad. Peter likes him, right?”, Steve insisted. They both stopped talking to listen to the boys by the door.
“I had a great time tonight, Wade.”
“I did too. You think they liked me? I was really nervous.”
“Oh, I’m sure there’s no reason to be nervous, pumpkin. They loved you.”
“I hope. I’ll text you later, darlin.”
“Okay, goodnight hun.”
Peter walked through the living room and grinned at his dads before heading to his room upstairs.
“That was hilarious.”, Tony laughed once he heard Peter’s door shut.
“Oh my gosh, I know. That was border line embarrassing. Pumpkin? Darling? We were never that bad were we?”, Steve asked.
Tony smirked, “Of course not, snugglebear.”

Fire & Brimstone: Nessian Angst/Smut


AO3 Linkage

Side Note: This isn’t really the Nesta we currently know. I’d like to think that once Nesta realizes being fae can give her emotions the agency they need to control her life, she’ll calm down a little. She’s still snarky and pissed off here, but she’s also coming to terms with a lot of baggage, so she’s more the Nesta I’m hoping we’ll end up with in Book 3 - aka one who isn’t quite so mean all the time.

Lots of angst. And a small bit of smut that defies the rules of physics, but oh well. But mostly angst.

Fire and Brimstone

“It’s a spa.”

“It’s a geothermic pool in the ground brimming with sulfur and minerals that are good for the skin and known to be purifying to bodily toxins.”

I stared at the steam rising from the geothermic pools and called bullshit. “It’s a spa.”

Cassian scowled. “Call it whatever you want, sweetheart. It wasn’t my choice to drag you here. You can leave whenever you want, although I know you’re dying to see me with my shirt off in all my bandaged, bruised glory.”

In light of what had happened to Cassian’s wings, his humor had turned from an arrogant bravado bordering on sultry to a self-deprecating brand I wasn’t quite sure how to cut. The implications of it, however, still pissed me off.

“No thanks,” I replied. “Ugly and bandaged brutes aren’t quite my thing.”

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My Top Deadpool Moments

Now that he’s getting more popular and there’s more people entering into the fandom I want to show my favorite Deadpool moments ( in no particular order ) beyond just his jokes. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great comic relief but he’s also so much more than that and I want to give people an incentive to dig deeper because I think you’ll like what you find. And if you don’t, that’s okay. If he’s always just going to be comic relief to you or if you end up hating him that’s your perogitive. But I welcome anyone who is a part of the fandom to feel free to come to my blog any time and discuss!

I’ll put the rest under read more so it doesn’t clutter anyone’s blog or weigh down the mobile users.

Obviously there will be some spoilers under the cut so please know that going in. I’ll try to keep things fairly vague so I don’t spoil everything, though.

Keep reading

Unlikely Hero

Fandom: Marvel/Deadpool 

Character: Wade Wilson 

Reader Gender: Female 

Summary: When you and Wade end up in some deep shit, you didn’t expect the situation to end up how it did. 

Warnings: Swearing, Violence 

Word Count: 1844 


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Heroes and Villains ~ Part 1 ~ Hero Academy

Originally posted by maosdaily

Warnings: Bullies; meeting new people; language

Pairings: Steve X Reader; Wanda X Reader; Daisy X Reader; Deadpool X Reader

Word Count: 2694



Reader’s POV

“Dad! I can’t find my tie!” I yell down the hall as I rush through the upstairs looking for my new tie that was a requirement to wear at my new school. I was still super excited, and a slight bit nervous, as I remember the call from Director Fury, Aka my dad’s boss, asking me to attend the prestigious Hero Academy.

“Look in the laundry room!” My father, Agent Phil Coulson, replies from the kitchen where he was undoubtedly making me a good luck omelet. I let out a heavy sigh as I slide down the banister only to slide smack dab into my, adopted, older sister Daisy.

“Holy crap (Name)!” She cries out as she quickly catches herself before she falls to the ground. Me, she let fall, guess you could call it a lesson in being careful. As I fall to the floor I rub my butt and wince in pain. I glance up to see her in full Hero Academy Uniform and smile. She chuckles before holding her hand out to me, “Here let me help you.”

“Thanks,” I reply taking her hand and letting her pull me to my feet.

“Oh, if you’re looking for your tie; it’s around your neck.” She replies biting her lip to keep from laughing. I groan inwardly as I reach up and indeed find my tie tied to my neck. “Calm down, I know you’re nervous. I was too my first day.”

“Yeah, and you almost caused the school to collapse from an earthquake.”

“I gave you a clear description of what not to do on your first day, so, you know, there ya go.” She says with a chuckle and I roll my eyes.

“You two get in here, breakfast is done.” Dad yells out and we both quickly run to the kitchen and jumping into our seats start to fight for the bacon. “Alright you two, there’s enough to go around.” He chides and we both stop. Daisy was only a year older than me so we got along really well, especially since neither of us really knew our mothers. “So (Name), did Fury email you your class schedule?”

“Yup,” I reply as I finish chewing a piece of bacon. “Homeroom is with Professor Pym, from there it’s History of Mutants with Wolverine, Anatomy of Mutants with Professor Pym, Calculus with Vision, then a nice lunch before Gym with May, then English with Professor McCoy,  and lastly is Foreign and Ancient Languages with the goddess Freya, before they let everyone go for clubs.”

“Damn that’s a lot, they only classes I have are the basics with the addition of gym and Inhuman abilities 101.”

“I’m as surprised as you.” I say as I reach up and scratch the back of my neck. “But then again being a mutant has its advantages.”

“No ganging up on me you two, I may not have any Super powers but I’m still your dad.” Phil says making Daisy and I smirk.

“Yeah, yeah, we know the rules Coulson.” Daisy says as she looks at her cell phone before her eyes widen. “Crap! We’re gonna be late!” She yells out as she grabs some last pieces of bacon before instantly racing toward the door. I grab a couple myself as I run over to the door and slipping into my designated academy loafers I grab my backpack and with a quick wave to Phil we race out the door and down the street toward school. “We’re not gonna make it!” Daisy yells and I groan inwardly.

“Grab on!” I yell out as I hold out my hand to her. She instantly takes it and with as much strength I can muster I jump sending us soaring into the sky. Oh did I forget to mention I can fly? Yeah, that’s right, I can fly.

Let’s go back a little bit to delve into my mysterious history. My father is Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD. My mother is unknown, he never speaks about her and I have no pictures; however I inherited my mutant genes from her. I’m telekinetic, I can fly, and I have super strength. To sum it all up, I’m a Hines 57 of superpowers. Out of all my powers though, flying is my favorite.

“(Name), I can tell you’re reminiscing up there but I kinda think you passed the school.” Daisy calls out and I shake my head as I realize I had in fact passed the school.

“Oops! My bad!” I call back as I turn around and speed back to the school gates. Reaching them I slow down and gently set Daisy down before I land softly on my feet. Daisy glances at her cell phone and lets out sigh of relief as she says, “Made it, and with fifteen minutes to spare.”

“I know, I’m just that good.” I reply jokingly making her roll her eyes.

“Come on, I’ll show you where your homeroom is.” She says and I nod as I follow after her.

“LOOK OUT!” I hear someone yell and turning see a soccer ball flying towards us and I instantly reach out and grab it stopping it just inches from my face. “Sorry about that, some people don’t know their own strength.” A young dark skinned boy says as he smiles apologetically at me.

“Its fine,” I say as I toss the soccer ball back to him.

“Hey Falcon; why don’t you tell the other soccer nuts to watch where they’re kicking their balls?” Daisy says as she folds her arms over her chest.

“Will do, we’ll try to be more careful next time.” He says more to me and I nod.

“Thanks,” I reply as I nod sheepishly.

“See ya around Daisy!” Falcon calls out to my sister as he runs back over to the soccer field. I turn back to her and she just shakes her head as she says, “Falcon’s a good guy; the other soccer nuts however get on my nerves.”

“Falcon? Is that his actual name?” I ask as we reach the academy double front doors.

“His real name is Sam Wilson; his codename is Falcon, just like mine is Quake.”

“Where do you get your names?” I ask and she shakes her head while sighing.

“(Name) you really don’t want to know the answer to that question.”

“DAISY!” I hear a female name call out and I turn to see a girl with long blonde hair jogging up to us.

“Hey Bobbi!” Daisy calls back waving to her friend, “I’ll be there I a sec.” She turns back to me and says, “That’s Bobbi, or Mockingbird if you wanna use her codename.”

“Bobbi’s easier to remember,” I say as I smirk at my sister.

“Same here.” Daisy leads me up the stairs to the third floor. At the top she turns right and leads me about three doors down before she says, “This is Professor Pym’s classroom. If you need anything just send me a text. I’ll try not to collapse the building getting to you.”

“Thanks Daisy,” I reply as I walk into the room to already see some people inside. Looking around I find an empty seat in the back next to the window and make a beeline for it. I wasn’t very social. In fact I was extremely antisocial. At my last school I didn’t have any friends and I was constantly bullied for being a mutant. Of course I never retaliated against any of them, for one I could kill them with a single punch, it just wouldn’t be worth it. As I sit down I glance out the window to see a single solitary young man in the villain’s plain black uniform sitting with his back propped against the fence.

I tilt my head as I find myself unable to look away from him. His shaggy brown hair was waving gently in the breeze. I couldn’t see his face but I found myself wanting too. “I wouldn’t stare too long if I were you.” I hear a female with a Russian accent say and I turn to see a young girl with long brown hair sitting in front of me.

“Oh?” I ask as I glance back toward the fence

“You may get in trouble with Principle Fury; you see we’re not allowed to have anything to do with them.”

“I read the pamphlet,” I say pulling my eyes away from him and back to her. “It never did say why though.”

“No one really knows,” She replies as she wiggles her hands making a book appear from within her bag. “I’m Wanda by the way,”

“(Name), (Name) Coulson.” I reply as I hold my hand out to her. She looks down at it for a moment before replying, “So you are Daisy’s sister, there is not much resemblance.”

“That’s because we’re not blood related.” I reply as I reach into my bag and pull out my cell phone.

“Well, welcome to Hero Academy (Name); if you need anything, just ask.” She says with a smile and I nod.

“Thank you,” I reply feeling deep down that I might have made a friend.

“LOOK OUT!” I hear a voice yell and I turn right as a guy wearing a red and black suit lands hard on my desk. My eyes widen as I glance down at him. “Oh, hi there!” He replies his focus turning to me as he rolls over onto his side. “The names Deadpool; registered badass; what’s yours?”

“(Name),” I reply smirking at him.

“Wade, get off her desk!” Wanda orders as she waves her hand sending him immediately to the other side of the room.

“Aw Wanda; why you gotta ruin my fun.” Deadpool replies as he picks himself up off the floor and walking back over sits down at the desk beside me. He lifts up the bottom of his mask to reveal that his skin is covered in burn scars before he smiles at me. “So, (Name), how you liking the whole hero experience so far?”

“Wade, class hasn’t even started yet; give the girl a break.” I hear another male say and look to the right to see a blonde guy wearing a purple undershirt under his uniform jacket and twirling a drumstick. “The names Clint,” He says as he walks over and plops down in front of Deadpool.

“(Name),” I reply as I offer him a polite smile.

“Alright you hooligans, time to get school started,” Professor Pym calls as he walks into the room making all the students scamper off to their reserved seats.

“We’ll talk after class,” Clint says and I nod. He quickly turns around in his seat and I squint as I notice that he has hearing aids in his ears. I turn back to the window and once again glance at the mystery man setting alone against the fence. I prop my head up on my hand as I tune my ears into Pym’s lesson but my eyes remain focused on the mystery man.


The first few hours went by smoothly with each class beginning with me having to introduce myself over and over again. Most of the so called heroes either ignored me, while some stared at me with snobbish eyes. I let out a sigh of relief as the lunch bell rings. Walking down to the cafeteria I grab my food and look around for Daisy but didn’t see her anywhere. “(Name) over here!” I hear Clint’s voice call out and I turn to see him setting with Wanda and Deadpool along with a couple others I didn’t recognize.

Making my way over I accidentally bump into a girl with long auburn hair. “I’m sorry!” I reply as I quickly take a step back away from her.

“Are you kidding me?!” She yells out as she wipes some spaghetti sauce off of her green vest. “This is Armani!”

“I… I said I was sorry.” I say sheepishly as I try to back away.

“Hey Jean she said she was sorry,” I hear Deadpool say and I look up to see him now standing between us.

“Whatever,” she replies as she stomps away angrily. I mentally kick myself as I stare off in her direction.

“Don’t worry about her (Name), come on; follow me.” Deadpool says as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and leads me over to the table where he was sitting. “You already know Clint and Wanda.” He says and I nod. “Well from left to right we have Peter, Matt, and Natasha.”

“Nice to meet you all.” I say as I offer a small wave.

“Nice to meet you too.” Matt says offering me a soft smile.

“Come on you can sit next to me.” Deadpool says as he pulls on my arm making me drop down into the seat next to him.

“Wade…” Natasha warns and he holds his hands up. “So (Name), if you don’t mind me asking; what’s your super power?”

“I have a few,” I reply as I reach out and take the apple from my tray.

“Like more than one?” Clint asks curiously and Natasha skips him on the back of the head as she says, “That’s what a few means jackass.”

“It’s okay,” I reply smirking, “Um let’s see, I have super strength, I can fly, and I’m telekinetic.”

“Oh me too!” Wanda calls out excitedly. “Well that including a few more dark and sinister things.”

“We’re human,” Natasha calls pointing from Matt to herself to Clint.

“Natasha is a Russian super spy, while Clint is an excellent marksman, and well I can see very well for being a blind man.” Matt says summing the three of them up.

“Is that all?” I say joking making Natasha smirk and say, “I like her.”

“And Pete here was bit by a radioactive Spider.” Deadpool says laying his head on Peter’s shoulder.

“Get off Wade!” Peter says a smirk covering his lips as he shakes Deadpool off.

“Okay, is your name Wade or Deadpool?” I ask the question suddenly boring a hole into me.

“His name is Wade, you can call him that.” Clint says as he tosses a tater tot at Wade.

“So Deadpool is his codename then?” I ask and Clint nods.

“Mine’s Hawkeye; Nat’s is Black Widow; Peter’s is Spider-man; Matt’s is Daredevil; and Wanda’s in Scarlett Witch.” Clint says and I smirk.

“Those are awesome.” I reply as I look around at all of them.

“Don’t worry you’ve got gym after this right?” Wanda asks and I nod. “I’m sure Cap will come up with something.”

“Cap?” I ask tilting my head to the side.

“Someone say my name?” I hear a deep voice say and I turn toward it to see a tall muscular guy with sandy blonde hair standing at the edge of the table with a bright perfect smile on his face.

“Yes,” Clint says as he catches his attention. “Steve this is (Name), (Name) this is Steve; otherwise known as Captain America.”

“Nice to meet you (Name),” He says offering me his hand along with a warm smile.

“Likewise Steve,” I reply as I take his hand and give it a firm shake.

“May I sit down?” He asks and I nod as I slowly slide closer to Wade who nonchalantly leans his head onto my shoulder making me chuckle. “Fury and Coulson have told me a lot about you.” Steve continues and I smile.

“You know my dad?”

“Coulson’s your dad?!” Wade exclaims making the huge cafeteria go quiet.

“Yeah, Wade, hence her last name is Coulson.” Wanda says flicking her wrist making Wade smack himself. As the cafeteria starts to bustle again Steve starts to talk to me about what my father has told him about me. It seemed like my father liked to brag, a lot, about me and Daisy. Steve was nice, and his friendliness didn’t come off as forced, in fact none of the people here at this table seemed to have any problem at all with making a new friend; and for that I was thankful.

Will Continue in ~ One Joke Too Far

Mandatory Education (Part 1/?) (AOS/X-Men/Deadpool x reader)

Request: Can you please do an Agents of Shield/X-Men crossover where you’re a powerful mutant with dark energy manipulation and after an incident resulting in civilians getting hurt you go on the run from Shield and hide out at the school for mutants please.

No, oh please, no.

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Prompt: Wade never wears his mask around you when you are alone. One day the Avengers show up at the apartment, looking for Wade because they need him for a mission. He hides his face in your neck not wanting the Avengers to see him like this, his mask is in the bedroom. You are on your guard because you have never heard of the Avengers, since you are a part of the X-Men. 

Warnings: None

Pairing: Deadpool x Reader

Here goes nothing!

Wade what did you do?

It seemed to be a peaceful day for you and Wade, that never usually happens. Something is always going on. But it was nice just to relax on the sofa with him and watch crap television together, eating some pizza. You could tell Wade wanted to do more than just sit around. He’s in one of those ‘productive’ moods. 

Just then there was a knock on the door, so you got up from your seat to answer it. Peeking through the peep hole of the door. To your surprise it was a group of people, male and female, all in costumes. Assuming the worst, not letting them in or even opening the door. 

“Wade, what have you done?” you asked him and he shrugged his shoulders, giving you an innocent look. There had to be some sort of reason as to why these people are here. 

“Who is it?” he came over to the door, ear pressed against it since you continued to look through the peep hole. 

“The Avengers.” the tallest one answered, Wade’s face fell. 

“Oh crap, I’m in trouble. Don’t let them in okay?” he hid behind you for protection. This couldn’t be a good thing. 

“If they want in so bad they will just kick the door down, you know that right?” you then asked him not knowing what to do. Stepping back slowly, Wade still hiding behind you. 

That’s when the door got kicked down, that didn’t take any effort whatsoever. The ones that called themselves Avengers stood before you and Wade. Who was hiding his face in your neck. Wishing he had his mask nearby, not wanting the Avengers to know what he looks like. 

“Stay back, no one touches him.” you warned them with glaring eyes. For some reason you always ended up protecting Wade. He gets himself into so much trouble. 

“We aren’t here to cause any harm to Mr. Wilson, ma’am.” the one in the star spangled suit assured you. However, you were still feeling weary of them. Not letting your guard down. You have never heard of these so called ‘Avengers’ in your life. Who do they think they are? Barging into your home uninvited? Some people just don’t have any manners or respect for others property. 

“Then why are you here?” you folded your arms, determined to get some answers. 

“We did call, but no one was answering. Deadpool is required for a mission.” the red head then spoke on their behalf. 

“The Avengers need me?!” Wade’s voice was muffled as he was still burying his head in your neck. 

“Can you at least wait outside? I hope someone is going to replace the door!” you motioned your hand to the door knocked off of its hinges. Not at all pleased with having your door broke down. You sure as hell weren’t going to replace someone else’s damage. They all looked at each other and nodded, not wanting to cause further annoyance. 

Once they were out of sight Wade ran into your bedroom to grab his mask before getting ready to go on a mission. Because it was with the Avengers, he was getting all excited, thinking that this now meant he is a part of the team. 

“Who are those people?” you raised your eyebrow, still not understanding why and who. 

“Only the earth’s finest heroes! Everyone knows that!” Wade exclaimed as he got his boots on. 

“I couldn’t care less, I want our door fixed! The next time they feel like dropping by they better just wait until I let them in. And from now on, you better start answering your phone!” you ranted to him, but it was going in one ear and out the other. He just nodded, pretending to listen to what you were saying. 

“Yeah, I hear you.” he was finally ready and pressed a kiss on your cheek. 

“No you didn’t. Go do your thing.” you sighed to yourself. There was no point in trying to talk to Wade when his mind is elsewhere. 

“See you later, sweet cheeks.” he said to you as he slapped your butt on the way out of the room. “And when I come home, it’ll be me, you and the bedroom.” he winked pointing both of his fingers at you. 

You shook your head laughing as he left you own your own. Remembering all the reasons as to why you love him. It was pretty hard to stay mad at him. That didn’t mean you had forgotten about the door though. 

Dance Off


Anon Prompt: Deadpool and the reader playing “Last Dance” on Wii only with sexy songs. Deadpool teases and flirts with the reader because of her sensual dance, so she proposes a deal: who get more points in a match of 3 songs wins, the loser has to serve a penance. The reader wins: Deadpool must dance with a pair of stiletto heels on; Deadpool wins: (you know what he’d want…). You choose who wins :)

A/N: This is such a cute prompt! I am gonna enjoy this ;)

Warning: Swearing, Implied sex

“Dude. How have you never played this game before?” you gasp at your best friend of two years: Wade Wilson aka Deadpool.

“Because mamacita, I have been a bit busy being an immortal bad ass” he quirked.

“Pshh excuses. This game is fucking worth it” you grabbed the wii remotes, handing one to the anti-hero.

“Um Y/N, not that I would ever complain, but this is the sexy hits version” Deadpool held up the game case.

“And?” you smirked.

“Let`s play” he waved the remote, searching through the songs.

You went first and you had a excellent selection: “Bootylicious” by Destiny`s Child.
The beat played through the television speaker as you followed the moves on the screen- your hips swaying, ass shaking.

Deadpool stood next to you, his face partially covered by his signature hoodie, with his jaw brushing the floor.

“Holllllyyyyy shit. You got some moves” he applauded you as the song ended.

“Thanks. Show me what you got” you challenged.

“Ah ah ah I think we could make this more interesting” he grinned.

“What do you want Wilson?” you were immediately suspicious.

“I challenge you to a dance off” he crossed his arms over his toned chest.

“Oh yeah. What`s the prize?” you were interested now.

“Ladies choice” he waved his hand in your direction.

You didn’t have to think long about a good prize.

“I want you wear high heels for an hour” you giggled. Perfect.

“Ugh those death traps” he whined.

“What do you want?” you inquired.

“You” he answered immediately.

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MBTI Types as Scenes in Lord of the Rings

ISFP: Aragorn’s Crowning in Minas Tirith. “Now come the days of the King,” declares Gandalf as he places the crown upon Aragorn’s head. He is the last in the line of Isildur, the true heir to the throne. There are more than a few watery eyes in the crowd. He stands to his feet and faces the people. “This day does not belong to one man, but to all,” proclaims the new king. “Let us together rebuild this world, that we may share in the days of peace to come.” He reunites with his Elven love, Arwen, and honors his hobbit friends who helped save Middle Earth. This scene is filled with beauty and peace, two characteristics of an ISFP. All is put right again. Good triumphs over evil in Middle Earth, just as it does on ours.

I have debated over and over in my head what MBTI types the characters in LOTR. There are arguments all over Tumblr and Pinterest. My sister Maggie is an INTJ, my sister Abbey is an ISTP, and both claim Aragorn as their type. Considering how awesome all the characters are, there’s no wonder that all of the types want to claim them.

It’s practically impossible to type someone as cool as Legolas, Faramir, or Tom Bombadill! But I think that’s kind of the point. Tolkien created his characters to be iconic, almost flawless. Everyone should relate to them at least to some capacity. We all should claim Aragorn, because Tolkien wanted us all to aspire to the Rider’s redemption story. He is more of a parable than a personality.

So instead, I’m typing specific scenes in the Lord of the Rings that capture the essence of the personality types. I’m sure we can all relate to several scenes, but these are the ones that really stand out to me as a distinct type.  

ISTJ: Galadriel Giving the Account of the Rings. In the very first scene of The Fellowship of the Ring, we are greeted with the lovely, wilting voice of the Loth Loríen elf queen. She tells the story of how the nine rings were forged in the depths of Mordor. “One ring to rule them all /One ring to find them/ One ring to bring them all/ And in the darkness, bind them/ In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.” The scene is rich with history and the power of recollection, which speaks to the traditional, observant ISTJ.

ESTP: Merry and Pippin Stealing Gandalf’s Fireworks. Ah yes, our two favorite troublemaking Hobbits. Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. While Gandalf is enjoying Bilbo’s one-hundred-and-eleventy-eth birthday party, Merry and Pippin find the wizard’s fireworks and nab the largest one, a giant red dragon. The next thing you know, the tent is blown apart. A huge fiery dragon soars through the sky and just barely skims old Bilbo’s head before bursting into a beautiful array of light. Mischief, cleverness, a little bit of trouble–yeah, this is an ESTP scene in a nutshell.

INTP: Gandalf’s and Saruman’s Duel in Isengard. The battle of the wizards. In The Fellowship of the Ring, Gandalf goes to Isengard to seek counsel from Saruman, his old friend and confidante. However, after he explains how he has discovered the Ring, Saruman reveals that he has sided with the Dark Lord Sauron. Gandalf is astonished. They duel there in the center of Isengard, arguing for their convictions. The magic, intellectual insults, and epic battle capture the whimsical, brainy essence of the INTP.

ESFP: Merry and Pippin at the Tavern. Table dancing. Loud conversations. Accidentally giving away the secrets that the fate of Middle Earth depends on. Clinking mugs together. Merry sits down with a huge mug of ale and Pippin’s eyes grow wide. “This, my friend, is a pint,” says Merry. “They come in pints?” Pippin asks in wonder. These two are the cheeriest characters in the whole series and they never cease to bring smiles wherever they go. If you have an ESFP in your life, you probably laugh and smile just as much! They have the ability to change the atmosphere with their fun, upbeat attitude.

ISTP: The Assembling of the Fellowship. The council of Rivendell is in chaos. Who will take the ring to Mordor? An elf? A dwarf? Who can be trusted? Finally, Frodo the Hobbit volunteers to take the ring to Mount Doom. Warriors from all races step forward to help in whatever ways they know how. “You have my sword,” says Aragorn. “And my bowe,” says Legolas. “And my axe,” chimes in Gimli. Also remember that a couple minutes ago Gimli took that axe to the ring and destroyed his own weapon. Yes, if you need someone to step up and do something, ask an ISTP.

ENFJ: Gandalf Fends Off the Balrog Under the Mountains of Moria. This is the most heart wrenching scene in The Fellowship of the Ring. The small band of heroes is running through the mines of Moria, fighting their way through goblins and cave trolls. Then suddenly, the groans of that ancient demon thunder through the chamber. The goblins scatter, and the heroes run for their lives. You can see in Gandalf’s eyes that he already knows what he must do. They flee through a shower of goblin arrows and almost reach safety when–the Balrog. It rears its ugly head. Gandalf stands between his friends and the enemy. “You shall not pass!” He cries, and sends the demon spiraling into the pit below. But the demon’s whip wraps around Gandalf’s leg. “Fly, you fools!” The wizard breathes before falling. ENFJs are the adventure dads/moms of the world, the friends we can always count on, and the selfless leaders. If you have one on your team, you’re in good hands.

ENFP: Sam Almost Drowns for Frodo. It’s the end of the first movie. The fellowship is separated due to an orc attack. Frodo plans to take the ring to Mordor by himself, and so he slips into one of the boats and pushes off the shore. Sam comes running after his friend. “Go back, Sam!” Frodo calls, thinking of the dangers that lay ahead. “I’m going to Mordor alone!” But Sam is relentless. “Of course you are Mr. Frodo, and I’m coming with you!” He wades into the water, deeper and deeper until it is over his head. Finally Frodo reaches down into the water and brings him up into the boat with him. We ENFPs are kind of like puppies. If you show us affection once, we’ll be loyal to you forever. There’s nothing we won’t do for the people we love, even if that includes carrying you up Mount Doom whilst being attacked by Gollum. Dangerous, life-threatening journey through Mordor? We’re there! At least we’re with you and we have Lembas Bread.

INFP: Sam’s Benediction as the Towers of Isengard Fall. One of my favorite scenes in the whole series. Towards the end of Two Towers, Frodo and Sam are weary and frightened from their journey. They have been separated from their friends for a long time, and they are following a shady Gollum into the depths of Mordor. Yet Sam speaks light into a dark situation, and you can see even Gollum being touched by his words. “But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something….There’s good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.” As he speaks, the Ents are tearing down the tower of Isengard. Good triumphs over evil. If you need to be reminded of this, talk to an INFP. They are 100% dedicated to what they believe in and they will convince you.

ISFJ: Legolas and Gimli Standing Side By Side Before the Battle of Helmsdeep. Right before the bloodiest battle in Two Towers, the woodland elf Legolas and Gimli son of Glóìn stand next to each other on the ramparts of Helmsdeep. “I’d never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an elf,” Gimili remarks gruffly. Legolas smiles and replies, “How about side by side with a friend?” The look in Gimli’s eyes shows how many barriers have been broken through these eight simple words. “Aye,” says Gimli. “I can do that.” This exchange captures the tradition that is dear to the ISFJ’s heart but also the warmth they give so generously. Not even all the armies of Isengard can overcome the kindness of an ISFJ.

ESFJ: Gondor Calling for Aid from Rohan. Picture it. A scenic view of a snowy mountain range. Everything is clothed in white, from the clear sky to the ground miles below. Then suddenly, you see a small orange flicker in the distance. Then another one. And another. Towers all along the mountain range are alight with fire, sending a message across the mountains. Who has sent the message? Gondor. Gondor.

“Gondor calls for aid!” shouts the Dunedain as he bursts into the palace of Rohan. The whole room holds its breath. How will the king respond?

“And Rohan will answer!” declares King Théoden. The Rohirrim prepare to aid Gondor. Besides being aesthetically pleasing, this scene also depicts Rohan giving much needed help. If there’s a type that’s always willing to lend a helping hand, it’s the ESFJ. Whether it’s baking cookies or preparing the Rohirrim to come to your aid, they always have your back. They also enjoy aesthetically pleasing scenery, so a cabin in those mountains might be a cool vacation spot for an ESFJ.

ENTP: Eowyn Defeating the Witch King of Angmar. How do you get an ENTP to do something for you? Tell her she shouldn’t do it. That’s exactly what happens when Eowyn, Princess of Rohan, dons her armor and sneaks into the Rohirrim army. Meriadoc Brandybuck, the feisty young Hobbit, also wants to fight but is turned away. So Eowyn brings him along as well. They charge into the Battle of Gondor, one of the bloodiest battles in the whole series. The Witch King of Angmar kills King Théoden, her beloved uncle. Bad move, Witch King. Eowyn runs to her uncle’s side, and in a furious rage attacks the Nazgul. She beheads the beast with a strike of her blade. The King, angry at the loss of his steed, turns to her. “No man can kill me,” he hisses through his mask.

Eowyn takes off her helmet with an epic hair flip and meets his gaze.

“I am no man!” she cries, and thrusts her sword into the Witch King’s face.

So yeah, that’s how you convince an ENTP. Tell her it’s impossible.

INFJ: Gandalf Speaking of White Shores. As Eowyn is defeating the Witch King of Angmar, the Battle of Minas Tirith rages on. Pippin and Gandalf rest for a few moments in the very center of the city, surrounded by the last of the palace guard. The blockaded doors tremble from the weight of Mordor’s warriors on the other side. “I didn’t think it would end this way,” Pippin says softly. “End?” Gandalf repeats. “No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey-rain curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it…White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.” This conversation is intimate and powerful. In the midst of chaos, we all need someone to keep us focused on the big picture, the ideals that really matter. If you’re losing hope, talk to an INFJ.

INTJ: Faramir’s Rescue. Picture an orc army stretching for miles, complete with huge catapults to take down the city’s walls and giant oliphants. Now picture a defenseless people whose best warriors have been already slain. The Battle for Minas Tirith would cause anyone to lose their heads. Denethor, the then Steward of Gondor, starts commanding his soldiers to abandon their posts and flee for their lives. He has long been going crazy. Luckily, Gandalf is there to (quite literally) beat Denethor into shape. But the wizard can’t leave the old steward alone for any amount of time, because a little later Denethor tries to burn his own son alive. Pippin and Gandalf burst into the room just in time to save Faramir flames. When everyone else falls into irrational turmoil, an INTJ will keep their head. This is probably why several of our presidents have been INTJs, and definitely why whenever anything goes wrong the first person I talk to is my INTJ sister. They’re not afraid to knock a couple heads with their staffs in order to save the kingdom.

ESTJ: Aragorn Calling the Dead Men of Dunharrow to Fulfill their Oaths to Isildur. Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas stand surrounded by legions of the undead, the ghosts of men who deserted Isildur, Aragorn’s ancestor. “I summon you to fulfill your oath,” Aragorn declares, marching forward to meet the phantom leader. “None but the king of Gondor may command me,” the ghost hisses in reply. He swings his blade, only to be blocked by Anduril. “That line was broken…” exclaims the ghost. Aragorn seizes him by the throat. “It has been remade.” In this scene, the quiet, lonesome Rider that we met in The Fellowship of the Ring steps forward and claims his heritage as the rightful heir of the throne of Gondor. He takes charge of the situation and builds a kick-butt team to fight with him. Natural leaders, ESTJs are known for their ability to step up and take charge. With Anduril in their hand or not.

ENTJ: Aragorn’s Speech Before Leading the Free Armies into the Battle of Mordor. After victory in the Battle of Minas Tirith, Aragorn could have insisted on being crowned king and enjoying his life in Gondor. Indeed, some men advised him to do so. But he knew that if he did not take action to help crush the darkness in Mordor, it would only be a matter of time until Sauron took over all of Middle Earth. So he lead the free armies of Middle Earth to the very gates of Mordor in order to distract Sauron from two young hobbits journeying up the mountainside. Riding back and forth before his men, he gives this speech: “A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!” ENTJs have the ability to find logical steps to accomplish their long term plans. The tactical move of bringing an army to the gates of Mordor was genius, and one that most likely saved all of Middle Earth.


Spideypool, Spideypool, Spideypool. Lately it seems this and Hydra Cap. are the things creating most buzz in the Marvel fan community! But what I like best is that with “Spideypool” Marvel actually has the chance of doing something very interesting and new. First off, I’ll flatly admit that I am a supporter of the pairing and would love to see it turned into “canon”. But here, more detachedly, are the reasons why I believe IT REALLY WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA and what makes this so interesting.


Like everything new, it would break barriers. Of course there have already been gay characters in the Marvel comic books, but (as far as I’m aware) never one of the main heroes/villains. You can have a minor hero have a gay love affair without a blink, but you’d definitely think it through for someone of the likes of Cap. America, Iron Man, Hulk or Wolverine. And even with Deadpool (who started out as a minor character to play with and one canonically labeled as “pansexual”) the authors have always double thought it and preferred avoiding giving him a real male love interest, leaving his ambiguous sexuality to comical flirting and subtext.

Having Spider-man and Deadpool actually be in a relationship/ in love, would definitely shatter some walls.

This meta-argumentation aside, I believe it would really benefit the characters. Especially Spider-Man!  Peter Parker has been around for long enough to need a radical swing every now and then to keep him fresh. Just lately the “All new, all different” installment turned him into an international, millionaire superstar (much in the likes of Tony Stark) but didn’t do anything crazy to his do-gooder-responsibility-man personality. Deadpool could change that.

Joe Kelly really is a brilliant, brilliant writer! He is already showing how a team-up changes people both ways, the good and the bad. Even if Spider-Man is supposedly tutoring Deadpool into becoming a better man in their current Spider-man/ Deadpool run, Kelly proves it would be impossible for Spidey not to be affected and changed as well. It’s slight, but through the pages of the 8 issues already printed one can see how Peter has tilted in a darker humored and violent direction. And…it’s really interesting! Of all the good this series and his main one have cooked out I found this aspect to be the most engaging. Just how much can Deadpool’s proximity challenge his stone carved morality, without him even noticing it? I focus on Spider-Man because Deadpool is per se a very malleable character. His chaotic neutral moral alignment made him already a perfect villain and a perfect hero. One that is capable of captivating us by killing the entire Marvel universe in one issue and proving to be a great Avenger and friend in the other ( yes, I’m talking about “Uncanny Avengers: 13-14”).

Think of the twists and struggles this pairing could have! They could grow close, start genuinely to love each other but still try to keep a distance because they realize how much their needs and moral orientations are at core incompatible. And/or because they realize it’s changing them in a way they don’t feel comfortable with. And that’s just to name one possible way it could go! Adding the romantic element to the formula just brings new layers to characters we have long loved and followed. Discovering there is more to them than what we already thought we knew is what we readers are really after.        


Despite the huge success of the “Stucky” and “Stony” pairs (especially after the movie “Captain America: Civil War”) and the “Cherik” fandom in the X-men branch, none of them is actually likable to happen! For obvious reasons. The one thing that makes Spideypool a real possibility is that Deadpool is allowed to do basically anthing is canonically interested also in men. The readers have already been prepared to it by seeing him openly flirt with Spider-Man for years and sharing an extremely blurred relationship with another hero, Cable (albeit a subtext one you can either choose to consider as real or not). In this case it would only take for Spidey to tilt in his direction. In every other case it would imply for two straight characters to suddenly have a change of heart, which is, frankly, not very believable and too risky.

THE TIMING IS RIGHT (for the following reasons):

1) There is a VERY strong fanbase to support it and ask for it.

2) Both characters are at the peak of their success. ( If everything goes wrong people would still love them)

3) Peter Parker isn’t in any meaningful relationship at the moment, nor is he really fawning over someone. Wade Wilson’s marriage with Shikla is falling out.

4) Mary Jane Watson is currently out of the picture. ( And I’m reeeeeally curious of what she’s up to with Stark)

5) Marvel has a VERY CONVENIENTLY demi canonical team-up series starring the two that could try the idea out and just close down and get labeled “NOT CANON” if it doesn’t work out ( This new Spider-man/Deadpool series really is proof that Marvel is at least considering it).

6) ( The most important in my opinion) we live in a time where the idea is socially “acceptable”. In the Western-minded side of the world it is acceptable that among an endless list of male superheroes, two of them have romantic feelings for each other. Whether you ship it, like it or not. IT IS ACCEPTABLE. Think about just how many fans never really liked MJ or Black Cat or Gwen with Spider-Man; how many hated Shikla when she first came out and married Deadpool. It’s not important that everyone likes it, that’s never going to happen in any case, but that it is considered as something that CAN happen. Only about 50 years ago I don’t think it could!

7) Heck, even Ryan Reynolds seems to like it!

And now, just to be fair, all my doubts and things to be careful about when handling the bomb!


Heh, I’m not contradicting myself, I swear, stay with me. While IT IS good timing for all the reasons listed above, it isn’t when it comes to the time it needs to be executed perfectly and the patience fans could come short of. The reason Cable and Deadpool worked so well and their series lasted for over 50 issues is that there was little to none expectation and pressure behind it and was thus able to grow steady and strong over time. But with the “Spider-Man: homecoming” movie about to come out and a lot of excitement surrounding Deadpool 2, it’s easy to see the spotlight is brighter than ever on both of them and it’s hard to believe they’ll both be so front and center in everyone’s attention for much longer. People wants Spideypool, and they want it now!

But Spidey and Deadpool aren’t there yet! They are just starting out, barely even friends! It takes time for them to bond, get to actually know each other, find mutual trust and care, to grow close and intimate. Then, and only then, it could pop up in the privacy of Peter’s mind that maybe, just maybe, he could like that other guy as more than just a friend. It’s a looooooong way there for it to sound believable and page turning. Not just fan service shoved up our greedy throats! But will we, the fans, have the patience and trust to wait for it? Or will this bomb just explode before it can become reality? People gets bored, that’s a fact! And since THIS IS ALREADY the pinnacle of the fandom’s popularity, I fear people will just get bored of it, and it falls out of trend, nothing coming out of it.

 That said, I trust a great team such as that of Ed McGuinness & Joe Kelly can pull out a REALLY GREAT story that makes the annuals, whether you consider the romantic implications of it or not, that keeps us reading avidly about our heroes for a long time. And also that Marvel will still keep teaming up the two in epic stories while keeping it’s ears open to fan’s requests. But what do you think about it? Do you agree? Do you not agree? Please let me know!