I hope that you are with me tonight in this foreign place. I hope that we are here sitting together. I hope that we can try the good stuff here and explore the place. I hope that we are doing Mayohan here together and dancing at the barrio’s baile and eating some kinunot. Dear, I want you to know my family. Maybe, we can walk around at my favorite place when I was younger - the cornfield, the cow barn and the hidden spring near the farm. I hope that you are here, dear. I miss you so bad. I love you.
I know we were roommates during freshman year, and you were a good friend to me for most of it. Sure, we weren’t best of friends from the start, but we got closer. You’re goofy, know how to have a good time, and a hard worker. I like those things about you.
But good God, who do you think you’re fooling, treating me like your best friend only when it conveniences you? I’ve had more than my fair share of fake friends and friends who leave when they find someone “better.” I spot the warning signs right away. I’m a quiet person though. I notice what others don’t but I don’t say anything unless whatever I notice seriously negatively affects me. Do you think that just because I reply happily when you text me every once in a while, it makes us the best of pals? Please. I know I’m just a backup option to you. I knew it the first week we were roommates, when you immediately banded together with our other roommates and left me out of the loop.
You’ve always been closer to our other friend. I get that. That’s not what upsets me. What upsets me is that you pretend we’re “i would die for you” close, but only when that other friend just happens to not be around. I’m not your second choice. I’m not ANYONE’S second choice. I put up with enough of that shit in high school to know that I can’t deal with it anymore. You either genuinely put me first, or you genuinely don’t at all. I don’t like starting drama with anyone. If I don’t like people, I either never talk to them or I’m just friendly with them if we cross paths. I don’t feel the need to outright say “hey, you suck. just wanted you to know” and start a whole thread of gossip and rumors. So I won’t say that to you, even though you probably deserve to hear it. But I’m also not about your bullshit.