Random Headcanon: The bit where character A walks into a room and finds character B entangled in some utterly ludicrous situation, and after a long, awkward pause, B calmly states “okay, I can explain” is a popular trope in both human and Vulcan comedy, albeit for totally different reasons.

Fanfiction Vocab

As anyone who follows my main blog knows, I have a definite shipper bias. I actually became interested in the language while searching for endearments I could have Spock say to Jim in my fanfiction. Whoever you ship, if a Vulcan is included and you create fanworks, it can be really interesting to include some Vuhlkansu.

So for a fun post on this early-summer Friday (at least in my part of the world), I’ve compiled a list of vocabulary and phrases that might be relevant to shippers and fanfiction writers.

Also, if anyone knows of writers using the language in their fics, let me know! I’d eventually like to compile a Vulcan language-specific fic rec list to share on this blog.

Relationship Status

Bondmate/Spouse Telsu
Husband Sa-telsu; adun
Fiancé Sa-kugalsu
Fiancée Ko-kugalsu
Lover Ashausu
Wife Ko-telsu; adun'a

Sexual Orientation

Asexual (adj.) Riguv-, riguvik
Bisexual (adj.) Dah-guv-, dah-guvik
Bisexuality Dah-guv'es
Homosexuality Ka-ashau'es
Homosexual man Sa-ka-ashausu
Homosexual woman/lesbian Ko-ka-ashausu
Heterosexuality Vath-ashau'es Heterosexual man Ba-vath-ashausu
Heterosexual woman Ko-vath-ashausu

Endearments

Beautiful Vaksurik
Beloved (n.) Ashayam
Beloved, darling, sweetheart (n.) Ashal-veh
Beloved, darling (adj.) Ashal-, Ashalik
Cute Petakov(-)
Love (n.) Ashaya

Romantic Vocabulary

Embrace Nartaya (n.), nartau (v.)
Finger embrace (n.) Ozh’esta
Honeymoon (n.) Wuhr-sa'le
Kiss Shok (n.), Shok-tor (v.)
Love Ashaya (n.), ashau (v.)
Loving (adj.) Ashaun-, ashaunik
Love potion Ashau-krel-masu
Love story Ashaya-var

Sexual and Anatomical Vocabulary

Anal Pekh-razh-, pekh-razhik*
Anus Pekh-razh*
Body Vukhut
Breast Thak
Clitoris Ko-Lok
Copulate Az’ir’kh’ar
Ejaculate (v.) Khrasau
Ejaculation Khrasaya
Erect Abul-, abulik (adj.)
Erection Abun
Erotic Guv-dau-, guv-dauk
Penis Lok
Mate (v.) Katelau
Nipple Thasek-gonaf
Sexual Guvik
Sexual favors Dihrf
Vagina Keshtan-ur*
Vaginal Keshtan-urik*
Vulva Kotik si-guv-kruslar

*Thanks to the ultra-logical Vulcans, these aren’t exactly the sexiest terms, so use them with caution in your fics: keshtan-ur literally means “birth tunnel” and pekh-razh literally means “feces hole.” I humbly suggest that razh, literally “hole,” could serve for any sexy orifice.

Phrases

I cherish thee Taluhk nash-veh k’dular (traditional Vulcan)
I love you Ashau nash-veh tu
Feeling “head-over-heels” for someone Shon-ha-lock/shan’hal’lak (literally the engulfment)

Note: T’hy’la, the word created by Gene Roddenberry meaning “friend/brother/lover,” will eventually have its own post, as there’s too much to cover here.

7

I really enjoyed drawing these and I’ll draw more another day uwu. As always thank you for your ideas, you guys are the best! Hope you all like it ;)

Btw, if you want to “adopt” one of them, just tell me and it’s yours (give them a name and a story… all of that <3)

My favourite is the vulcan/klingon hybrid. I bet she’s super strong and disciplined (not all klingons are uncontrolled and violent for no reason) but very passionate and… kind of romantic.

I also have a problem with the cardassian/aenar one because aenars need cool weather, but cardassians need hot weather so ????

I’m crying ya’ll, I forgot that Vulcan Furniture is just Hard Modern furniture with cushions just strapped on. No cushion cover, no sheet, just a cushion and some straps

(pic from @capsfromtrek)

LOOK AT THIS!

Meanwhile on Romulus

Comfiest fuckin furniture in the galaxy. it probably comes with a butt warmer.

When the Sundering happened, the Vulcans made the Romulans leave their sense of fashion behind, and the Romulans stole all the good furniture.

this is the real reason unification needs to happen, the Romulans need to save the Vulcans from their awful decorating skill, and the Vulcans need to save the Romulans from horrid fashion.

wee vulcan monsters

i’ve been thinking about Vulcan family dynamics a lot, and a common trope i see in fic is the existence some sort of parental bond that allows the parent to exert control or demonstrate to the child how to regulate their emotions from a very early age - often practically from infancy.

Which… dgmw, the idea of super serious little vulcan children is adorable and i love it. But what if the parent-child link, if it exists, functioned less as ‘impose control’ and more as ‘general sense of wellness’? 

There’s a learning curve for most species, and the more complex the behavior of the species, the longer the learning curve tends to be.

so what if it still takes several years for Vulcan children to learn to reign in these insanely strong Vulcan emotional reactions? what if its normal and unnoteworthy in Vulcan society for placid, imperturbable vulcan parents to go about their business with their toddlers throwing EPIC SHIT FITS in their wake? - like, no one bats an eye because of course that child is too young to effectively implement the teachings of surak.

imagine a human ambassador/politician having their child with them and the kid being kind of fussy - the human apologizing profusely for their kid’s behavior and the Vulcans’ confusion about the apology since the kid is INCREDIBLY well-behaved, considering they’re obviously tired and hungry. think of the first humans to experience the reverse, when they’d only ever known adult vulcans and sort of assumed the race was just born that way and being completely taken aback by these mini-vulcan MONSTERS like screaming bloody murder and destroying things while the adults are utterly unphased.