anonymous asked:

i love your vriskat au sooooofjsofjeosijs much i wanna make fic of it but idk how so someone else should do it because did i mention your au is fukin awesome

haha itd be pretty cool if someone wrote some, thats for sure. i dont write much but heres a little bit because im nice:

one time vriska and karkat were sitting on the sidewalk learning how to shoot spitballs because they saw it in some movies. terezi came up, clanking her cane around and knocking it against karkat. he didnt react because it was an old joke and he didnt want to bother giving her the satisfaction. vriska shot a spitball at her and she sat down and pretended to be very injured. vriska laughed at her

then nepeta showed up and was like jeez u guys its my b-day today youre supposed to come to my party vriska didnt u give out those invitations

vriskas like of course not?? why did you give them to me to begin with?? everyone agreed it was a silly idea of nepeta to do that but terezi and karkat bought her lunch and they all went to the mall and sat around in hot topic while nepeta tried on those really neon tutus or something.

the end

"why the hell does anyone like vriska serket?"

i’ve seen this question asked a lot in (and outside of) the homestuck fandom. it’s not a bad question! vriska is a divisive character, and there are some pretty damn understandable reasons why people don’t like her. but there’s this attitude, and i think this is true for all fandoms, that liking problmematic characters means you have to constantly reassure everyone that really, you know how awful they are, and it’s kind of frowned upon to expand on your affection towards them any more than calling them trash.

but really… there’s a lot of reasons why people like vriska serket. and i’m gonna go ahead and talk about why i, personally, love vriska and why i think she continues to be an incredibly popular character despite being… well.. terrible.

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Ironic Pizza [2]

[ sfw davekat under cut.

cw for marijuana under cut as well. part 2 of this thing that was pretty well received so here’s the continuing saga.

might write a part 3 or a 4 if i get inspired enough. ]

It became a huge running joke and now everybody called D Strider your boyfriend because he gave you thirty dollars for a tip and that was just ridiculous.

“Thirty?!” Eridan had exclaimed, “What kind of bullshit is that!”

And then the next time D Strider had ordered, he’d insisted on taking the delivery and then Dave had only given him five, and he’d come back into the store absolutely boiling with anger. You took another delivery to him later that week, he’d given you thirty again. One time he ordered when you weren’t working and Sollux had told him, “KK’s not working but he misses you,” which, when Sollux told you, had made you blush all the way to your ears.

He became this gag, this fucking thing- once a week at the very least he’d order something and everybody working would go, “Hey! Karkat’s boyfriend put his order in!” And everybody would laugh and Vriska always seemed to laugh hardest. You’d take the delivery, exchange monotonous pleasantries with Dave, take your thirty bucks, and go.

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anonymous asked:

◉ weirdly specific headcanon: adopting a pet together, vriska and terezi.

oh man…. yes

i would imagine a lot of their animals are lizards/snakes/tarantulas and they’re both very good about caring for them. i think a lot about vriska gently showing terezi how to handle a tarantula because they can so easily die if they’re dropped. terezi shows vriska how to handle snakes and lizards and laughs when vriska gets confused or asks stupid questions like “is he licking me?” “vriska snakes don’t lick people like dogs do so no”

they get very used to caring for their animals together


i would imagine at some point they find a stray kitten and decide to Take It In… it is very Loud and Needy compared to reptiles + spiders and vriska is really frustrated at first but terezi like? terezi was raised w/out a lusus and in my humanstuck aus she lost a parent at a young age whereas vriska is a bitter foster kid so terezi quickly latches on to the kitten and understand its needs. she names it (senator lemonsnout the second)… vriska is still pointedly annoyed and trying not to get attached at all and avoids it mostly. but when she starts seeing that the kitten will follow terezi around the house (and that completely tickles terezi, she loves it)  and actively seeks out affection it turns over some part of vriska’s heart and she starts to warm up to it. eventually she ends up being the proudest cat mom of all time and she and terezi post 500 cat pics a day and vriska owns a bumper sticker that says “my cat is smarter than your dog” 

==> Meenah: get help from your girlfriend

“Fuck.” You run your hands through your hair backing away slightly as you realise that you just punched the fucking bouncer in the nose. Maybe you should just make a run for it now, but by the look in his eyes he isn’t going to let this go, and you’ll be easily spotted from a line up. You’re a fucking troll after all. “Fuck, sorry, I didn’t mean…” You can’t claim you didn’t mean to punch him, because his nose is busted, blood still leaking out through his fingers as he holds his hand to his face. 

Back against the fucking wall,” he tells you, and you do as he says, moving to lean against the bricks without much argument, until he tells you he’s going to call the cops. Fuck. You panic, suddenly no longer okay with staying still. You say you’re really sorry, that you weren’t thinking, that you can just go home and the pair of you can just forget about this. He stands there and listens to you as you ramble on, not looking any more convinced. 

“I know someone you work with!” you say, deciding to go for a different tactic. “She’s inside there now! I was goin’ to see her..” He responds to you with a cold, “why the fuck should I care?” and you realise you’re fighting a losing battle. You chew at your lip, looking around desperately for inspiration. You can’t get arrested again, you had enough trouble last time because they couldn’t find any record of you and everything just went down hill from there. 

“She’s my girlfriend.” Your conscience is screaming at you to stop, why the fuck did you just say that? She’s barely even your fucking friend. And as if she’s going to vouch for you anyway. FUCK. “She works at the bar,” you add on anyway, your slurred voice sounding pleading. You’re pleading with him, but also with yourself to shut the fuck up. He raises an eyebrow at you, asks who, and you beg yourself not to say - “Vriska.”

He laughs in your face, and you can feel yourself pale. You know why he’s laughing, but it doesn’t stop the next sentence from sucker punching you in the gut. “What a girlfriend you’ve got there, I’ve seen her trying to hook up with almost every girl in there tonight.” 

You swallow, your face contorting as you try not to cry. Fucking pathetic, you think to yourself, fucking pathetic that you’re crying over the hypothetical situation of her cheating on you. God, what is wrong with you? You’re not even dating, but fuck it - you’re nearly crying now, you might as well keep up the act.

Yeah,” you say quietly, and it almost comes out as a squeak. You see a realisation dawn on the bouncers face, and he suddenly looks a lot less pissed off at the amount of blood pouring from his nostrils. “Why d’you think I’m this drunk?” 

You’d give yourself credit for your acting skills if you weren’t actually feeling all the things you were ‘pretending’ to feel. Maybe for different reasons, but that didn’t make the gulps or the frantic blinking any less real. You stand for a couple of seconds, staring at the ground, until the bouncer sighs and tells you he’s going to get her. He’ll let you off if you’re telling truth, if she can vouch for you. 

He walks into the bar and you collapse against the wall. Now you’re double fucked. 

anonymous asked:

What the fuck did you just fucking say a8out me, you little 8itch???????? I’ll have you know I have gained all the levels in the Petticoat Seagrift class, and I’ve 8een involved in numerous secret raids on Team Charge, and I have over 800 confirmed kills. I am trained in arachnid warfare and I’m the top pir8 in the entire Alternian FLARP community. You are nothing to me 8ut just another low8lood. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never 8een seen 8efore in all of

Paradox Space, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spiders across Alternia and your IP is 8eing traced right now so you 8etter prepare for the storm, wriggler. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can 8e anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 8 hundred ways, and that’s just with my 8are hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed com8at, 8ut I have access to the Fluorite Octet and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your misera8le ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retri8ution your little “clever” comment was a8out to 8ring down upon you, may8e you would have held your fucking tongue. 8ut you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

hey did any of you hear that noise it sounded like a toddler crying