vote-for-it-motherfuckers!

cnbc.com
House Republicans scrap plan to gut ethics office after emergency meeting
House Republicans on Tuesday backed out of plans to weaken an independent ethics office after broad criticism of the move.
By Jacob Pramuk

HEY GUYS LOOK AT THIS. 

There was public uproar about this move. There were phone calls, e-mails, tweets. There was a lot of attention. And guess what? It worked.

We’re not powerless, we just got used to not having to do anything. Get ready to do this a lot more for the next two to four years, because just because we got them to back off of this one doesn’t mean they’re going to suddenly stop trying to get things past us. They’re just going to try harder to be sneaky.

But we do make a difference. 

Also, in 2018? Which is NEXT YEAR?

I want you to vote these motherfuckers out of office. Get a list going. Let your representatives know when you call them that you are keeping a list of who votes how, and that you’ll be voting accordingly. Let them know that if they can’t do their job, they’re gonna be fired.

Power to the people.

I want the ‘1776’ version of John Adams to meet the ‘Hamilton’ version of Alexander Hamilton. I’m not talking about real John Adams and Alexander Hamilton to meet, because they clearly did, but rather their musical counterparts.

Their collective lack of chill and passion for liberty would be astounding.

Dear European Friends:

We’re just as horrified with Donald Trump as you guys are.

Many of us did not vote for this stupid motherfucker.

Please bear with us as we do everything we can to get him out of power…

… we might need your help, though.

Love always,
the sane voters of the United States

Next Full-Length Fanfic Votes

Okay, guys, I’ve been joking around with this a little, but I honestly do need some help deciding what I’m going to write when the Alkahest is done (which it almost is). Some of the ideas are a little more fleshed out than usual, but here they are:


1: Lucius/Hermione. If you remember the first half of the Those Three Years drabble, it would be something along those lines – Lucius is trying to re-integrate with society. The main difference would be that Draco would be paired with someone else (I’m actually not super into “who will she choose” tropes, hence why I’m not making it about that).

2: Fred/Hermione/George. The basic premise of this is that Fred and Hermione had some Feels™ for each other during the war that never really got to see fruition. It would probably be sad as all fuck at first. Final pairing would be with George.

3: Draco/Hermione. Some of you may remember my drabble The Wedding Caper – I mentioned a few times that I was interested in making this a full-length fic where I spend a lot more time focusing on Draco bothering Hermione before basically continuing where the drabble leaves off.

4: Charlie/Hermione. Writing this drabble actually made me incredibly curious about this pairing. It would probably be a very feel-good fluffy kind of piece, and I think it probably wouldn’t be SUPER long, but obviously multi-chapter.

5: Draco/Hermione. This one has a title already, because it was honestly going to be my next project after I finished the Alkahest (like months ago before I got interested in all these other pairings). The basic premise of it is that as a method of rehabilitation, Draco has to spend a certain amount of time (a few years, minimally) without magic, living as a Muggle. Hermione’s the one that came up with the rehabilitation plan and she’d be his only contact with the wizarding world. It would be a very Draco-centric fic and written largely from his POV as he navigates his new Muggle life.

6. Harry/Hermione/Draco. I’ve never written a triad before and the thought scares the absolute bejeezus out of me. I really like the idea I had for my drabble – that Harry and Draco are already dating and are trying to convince Hermione to join them. It would probably be a really similar premise to my drabble for them, but more drawn-out and fleshed-out.

7. Tom/Hermione. I think a few of you have seen my drabbles on that subject, so obviously this would be a fairly dark fic instead of the usual fluffy humor I do. Probably a time-travel fic, with Tom being obsessive and Hermione being extremely reluctant. Happy ending not guaranteed and honestly unlikely. 

8. Sirius/Hermione/REMUS?. Since the triad cherry has already been popped, MAYBE? I don’t know. I really don’t. I’m already a little iffy on whether or not I can do any of the marauders justice so honestly this one is scary as all get-out. I’d make @shayalonnie help me. So scary. Fuck. I assume it would be a time travel fic, but honestly idk?

9. Harry/Hermione. I like Harmony and I think they’re cute together. My premise for this one is that Harry is happily dating Ginny and Hermione is happily dating Ron and then a thing happens that ruins everything and makes Harry and Hermione realize they have feelings for each other (unexpectedly). So this would not be for the faint of heart because some serious Weasley heart-breaking is gonna happen.

10: Draco/Hermione AU. I love writing AUs even if I don’t indulge in it very often. I don’t have a premise (well, more accurately, I have about a THOUSAND premises and I have not yet cut it down to one), but idk I just think AUs are fun.


for the purposes of voting, I’m not accepting anon asks as votes, because one of you sneaky motherfuckers is just gonna flood my ask box with anon shit. >:( I’M WATCHING ALL OF YOU. You can vote by sending in an ask (I won’t publish it, just make a note of the vote and delete it), reblogging, or responding, or even messaging me on tumblr. You can vote for multiple numbers (all ten, if you want, but why would you even do that). I’ll pick the top couple and focus on them as my next projects after the Alkahest is over.


Before anyone asks, I’m not doing a sequel to the Alkahest, but I do intend to make another fic that takes place AFTER it that would just be snapshots of their life together etc etc – probably prompt-centric. 



As a side note, if anyone wants to beta any of these new stories, please hit me up. I’m not used to working with betas, but I’m very bad at organizing, can make embarrassing typos, and often forget shit I’ve already established in my story – so if you have a good memory, can catch typos/weird sentences, or have a solid knowledge of general Briticisms (for when my dialogue gets too American-y), I’d love to work with you!

Pros: You get to read shit before it even gets published.

Cons: I’m probably really annoying to work with and you’ll have to be second-hand embarrassed of all my typos and slip-ups and lack of internal consistency. For reference’s sake, the Alkahest was done without a beta and I’m too lazy to go back and fix shit, so that’s what you’d be working with.


ALRIGHT THIS POST IS DONE IF YOU WANNA VOTE PLS DO AND IF YOU WANNA BETA PLS HIT ME UP IN THE MESSAGE SYSTEM

Sit down, dudes and gentledudes, because it's fuckin' Story Time™.

So I’m walking home from NCC (my local college where I take classes), and the road I take happens to go right next to Broad River Cemetery. I’ve got an empty shopping bag from bringing snacks to Anime Club (because I’m a weeaboo-ass motherfucker who’s desperately seeking friends), and I see that there’s a lot of trash on the side of the road, like on the grassy area between the street and the graveyard. Being in a cheerful and somewhat goody-two-Docs mood, I decide to pick up the biggest pieces of litter and put them in my empty bag to throw them away at home.

So I’m doing this, right, being a good citizen for all the dearly departed, and this guy. This motherfucker. Rolls up in his fuckin’ soccer-mom-ass-lookin’ silver minivan and. he. fucking. wolf. whistles. at. me.

As I’m cleaning up a fucking graveyard.

Keep in mind that I’m the only one there, I’m the only person he could possibly be addressing.

So of course I holler “HEY” at this skeezy-ass, probably-Trump-voting motherfucker, but he’s already rolling his coward ass away.

But, my dudes, there is karma in this world. Or at least a vengeful deity or whatever. Because there’s a street light about twenty feet away. And it just turned from yellow to red. So Mr Minivan Minidick has to bring his moldy ass to a halt.

I stroll over to him, all casual, and lock eyes with him. I can practically smell this fucko’s fear.

I start out with “What the hell is wrong with you, what rotted crevice in the moldy Swiss cheese that serves as your brain made you think it was ok to wolf whistle at someone who’s picking up trash at a goddamn graveyard, is that how you met your first five exes”, etc. Of course he rolls up his window so he doesn’t have to hear anything from the piece of meat he most likely sees me as.

But.

As it just so happens, the car behind him in line at the red light has its window down. And the woman inside has seen and heard every detail that just transpired between Dickass and I.

So she looks behind her, sees that there aren’t any cars nearby other than Pissbrain’s, and she points at me.

Points at her ears.

And leans her entire weight on her horn.

Swear to god, the fucker in front of her jumped a foot out of his seat.

So he rolls down his window to yell at her, she rolls hers down as well, and stops honking for just as long as it takes for her to shout at the top of her blessed lungs, “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!” before rolling her window back up and blasting him with more sweet, sweet retribution for the entire, two minute duration of the red light.

As soon as it turns green, his Lego-stomping ass speeds away like a bat out of hell. I thank the saint behind him, she goes “no problem, honey,” and we part ways— her, hopefully on her way to be deified as the Goddess of Cat-Call Vengeance, and I, a woman forever changed.

Whoever she is, and wherever she may be, I wish her well.

To those “AllLivesMatter” people voting for Trump: Remember that he’s literally been endorsed by KKK and never spoke against it.

AMERICA IS GOING TO VOTE IN A MAN ENDORSED BY A WHITE SUPREMACIST TERRORIST GROUP MADE SPECIFICALLY TO TERRORIZE AND KILL BLACK PEOPLE AND “KEEP AMERICA WHITE”. 

Last time I checked my Black ass is STRONGLY DISLIKED by the KKK . JUST THE FACT THAT I’M BLACK AND EXISTING ON THIS PLANET MAKES THEM HATE ME. 

SO THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME #AllLivesMatter I WILL LITERALLY PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING NOSE! 

Let some fucking trump voting ass motherfucker think they can say something racist to me on the streets if this bitch wins. You will CATCH THESE HANDS!

"Cool Motive Still Murder" Contest Winners

Alright people! You have voted to decide who is the whiniest, most butthurt character, and you have spoken! Here are the runners-up, honorable mentions, and, of course, the winners.


The Runners-up

In 6th place, Handsome Jack from Borderlands with 4 votes
In 5th place, Anakin Skywalker and Hannibal, each with 6 votes
In 4th place, Kilgrave from Jessica Jones with 7 votes


Honorable Mentions (by which I mean answers that made me laugh)

Yes, these are all real things people really said.

George R. R. Martin
Ted Cruz
*stares into the distance*
Make me, bitch
The patriarchy


And Now… The Winners

Tied for 3rd place, we have Jason Todd from Batman and Frank Castle from Daredevil, each with 8 votes

In 2nd place, we have Loki Laufeyson with 16 votes

And, finally, in 1st place, with 47 votes, we have this motherfucker:

How are people stupid enough to believe that the republican party is more or less evil than the democratic party. Like. I’m failing to understand how you can be so emotional and rationally blind. 

BOTH. PARTIES. ARE. VERY. CORRUPT. 

This “vote for Bernie or Rand is a taking away a vote from the democratic/republican party” IS STUPID. Hurr durr let’s make things worse. 

LISTEN UP:

VOTE FOR WHO YOU WANT. SO WHAT IF BERNIE OR PAUL DOESN’T GET IN? Your vote is a reflection of your beliefs. Make it count. 

If everyone voted for who they *wanted* to instead of being political strategists (which there is so much in politics you cannot even begin to comprehend let alone have enough data to strategize) then we wouldn’t be in this position of choosing between the lesser of two literal evils. 

I repeat: the way our system is run will not change without strong voter conviction. 

I’m not going to say vote Bernie, Cruz, Hillary, Paul, Rubio, whatever. 

I’m telling you that it is YOUR DUTY as AMERICANS and FREE THINKERS TO USE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE FOR THE PERSON YOU WANT TO. To hell if they win. You possess the power to reflect your true opinion on politics with a vote. If you want Bernie to win, don’t vote Hillary. This is you telling our government “I want Hillary in office.” You need to tell them you want Bernie. 

You’re not risking your life for this vote. Trust me; y’all survived Bushes. You can survive whatever else comes. 

If you’re scared Trump may win? He’ll get impeached quickly if he’s as bad as y’all think. 

No one would have thought in a million years Trump would be a front runner. Yet here we are. Why? Because enough people said “fuck it” and now look? LOOK WHERE WE ARE. 

Yes, our country may have been founded by “old dead white men” BUT THOUSANDS of people have fought and DIED for your right to vote who you want into office! We didn’t peace the fuck out of a monarchy for nothing! Yeah a lot of bad shit went with that, but the tru facts are we are The United States of America and if you want real change, your vote better show it. 

If I find out you settled on your vote I better not see one motherfucking post about our country being shit because you did not play your part. You did not say your line because you did not believe in your power. These people bitching about Obama? They voted him in - many of them. People who bitched about Bush? He still got the vote. WHY DO PEOPLE GET VOTES? THE PEOPLE VOTE. IF THE PEOPLE DON’T VOTE FOR THE PERSON THEY DON’T GET THE VOTE. 

In parting: it has been shown time and time again that corruption will go absolutely as far as you let it. Give it an inch, it’ll take a mile. We’re giving it a football field right now.

Your vote is more important than some tumblr post bitching about our state of affairs. 

I REPEAT: FOR CHRISSAKES VOTE FOR WHO YOU WANT

Walk the motherfuckin’ talk. 




TL;DR I hope you’ll reconsider settling and vote for who you want. 

Yo, it makes me legitimately angry that I’m not a citizen and I can’t vote and some of you motherfuckers take voting for granted because you think it doesn’t fucking matter or you wanna make excuses. Ya’ll can say you “Feel the Bern” all you want but if you don’t support him via voting he’s not gonna be able to do anything and then the only thing you should feel is ashamed that you let him down.

Register to vote, go fucking vote.

Ya’ll have power that some of us don’t have. Use it.

Donald Trump just got endorsed by the KKK.

This is probably not going to be big news for more than a day or two, or maybe even a few hours, but as far as I am concerned, this is the only thing that matters.  The KKK has watched Trump’s speeches, they’ve seen his debate performance, they know his platform, and they said:  “Yeah, that’s the guy we want as President.  That’s the America we want to live in.  This is our definition of great, this right here.  Donald Trump’s America.  That’s the KKK’s idea of great.”

He’s called them repulsive.  So he finally knows who they are, at least.  But at the end of the day, what he says today about the KKK doesn’t matter.  He has had months on the campaign trail to prove himself to be an unfit candidate for KKK endorsement.  He has not.  He has, instead, proven himself the opposite.  So they have endorsed him.

The KKK.  The cross-burners, the lynchers, the murderers.  The terrorists who have been struggling to drag America away from anything resembling progress since the fucking Civil War. 

They endorsed Trump.

This is the only thing that matters to me.  It should be the only thing that matters to you.  Because if Trump wins, that’s the president we get.  That’s the America we get. The KKK’s America.  That’s what we get if Trump wins.

Don’t hide in a bunker about it.  Fucking get out there and vote.  We have the chance to stop him.  We need to exercise that right.

Vote, motherfucker.  Vote.

Just voted in the referendum for Marriage Equality, I’m still shaking and i may have cried a little bit leaving the polling station, it feels surreal to finally mark that little box after months of campaigning and canvassing.

Followers, please keep your Irish LGBTQ+ friends in your thoughts and prayers, lets hope my country proves itself to be one where justice and fairness prevails for all.

I hope tomorrow I’ll be screaming to you all about how happy and overjoyed and drunk I am as all my friends go wild celebrating our newly gained right to marry whoever we love, on the streets of Dublin.

AND IRISH FOLLOWERS???? HAVE YE VOTED YET??? WHY NOT? GO VOTE NOW! VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN AND VOTE MOTHERFUCKING YES TO MARRIAGE EQUALITY.

Éirinn go Brách.

My friend worked at the polls today

She tells me it was like this:

854 dem
334 rep

34.1% voter turnout

Bernie 672
Clinton 174
O'Malley 9

Rubio 195
Kasich 40
Carson 17
Paul 5
Cruz 33
Trump 43
Bush 1

So one crazy motherfucker voted for Bush, 43 crazy motherfuckers voted for Trump, Rubio, the normal one, got 195 people backing him up, and then we’ve got Bernie

672 to 174

Well done.

The battle has only just begun.