volleyball joke

  • Bokuto: Akaashiiiii!!!
  • Akaashi: yes bokuto-san?
  • Bokuto: you know how the body is made up of 70% water?
  • Akaashi: yes??
  • Bokuto: if i stand on someone does that make me 70% jesus?
  • Kuroo: bro thats amazing!
  • Bokuto: bro i know!
  • Kenma: *scowls* fucking idiots
  • Akaashi: bokuto-san please never speak to me again

YG: I will gladly tell that story to anyone anywhere, exposing Jin is my favorite thing to do~

J. ;^( my ex is so mean to me


Time: Yoonji in 3rd year of high school; Jin, Joon, and Yoongi in 1st year of high school; Army in 2nd year of middle school
Place: Min household
Context: After practice, playing never have I ever ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Hinata's dubbing "Locked Away"
  • Hinata: Oi, Kageyama!
  • Kageyama: What?!
  • Hinata: If they block me again. And we lose the whole set. Tell me honestly, would you still toss me again? If I fail all my serves. If I can't concentrate. Tell me honestly, would you still toss me the same?
  • Kageyama: Hinata, I'll kick your ass.
My Asanoya headcanons

These are my headcanons, but idc who uses them lmao.

  • Asahi gives Noya piggy-back rides and then gets worn out by all the enthusiasm and loudness Noya creates. However, this is always a great confidence boost, because Noya cheers him on. 
  • When Noya feels short spurts of energy or when he’s been away for a while, he leaps onto Asahi and hugs him. 
  • When Noya calls out taunts to larger and taller guys, he instantly hides behind Asahi, to initially make it look like he said it. 
  • Noya watches hair tutorials just so he can fidget with Asahi’s “glorious” hair. Asahi enjoys the attention and it’s another confidence booster. At least someone appreciates his long hair… 
  • During practice, Noya makes corny jokes about volleyball as a way to flirt with Asahi. 
  • Because Noya isn’t an offensive player, Asahi will sometimes allow him to sit on his shoulders and help him block/spike during practice. Bonus: Hinata will always complain about how unfair it is and yells at Kageyama for not thinking of that idea for them when practicing. 
  •  When going to theme parks and riding amusement rides, Asahi is basically Noya’s “parent” and chaperone. This is because Noya is always too short to ride and cannot ride unless he has an adult with him. This is sometimes very unfavorable for Asahi , because he is ironically afraid of heights. 
  • Whenever exhausted after a game, Asahi will let Noya rest his head on his lap on the bus ride home. Noya basically uses him as a pillow, and if he gets cold, Asahi will give him his hoodies. 
  •  During sleepovers, Noya will choose a horror movie to watch. Asahi hates horror movies and usually jumps over the couch and stays there for the remainder of the movie, if he’s really spooked. This leads to Noya, coaxing him out and calling him names like “doofus” or ‘wuss”. (You ultimately decide what he calls Asahi) 
  • In addition to the sleepover, sometimes Noya will have nightmares and crawl onto the floor to sleep with Asahi in the middle of the night. If the nightmares are terribly bad, he’ll wake Asahi up. Being used to this, Asahi will make sure Noya is comfortable and waits til he falls asleep first. 
  • Noya purposefully tells dirty jokes or takes things out of context, to trigger an annoyed or squeamish response from Asahi. Also, he resorts to gestures… a lot. 
  • Being the worry-wart he is, Asahi will demand that Noya sends him a text when he arrives home. This is to make sure Noya got home safely, due to his size and walking home alone after practice. 
  • Noya shows up to school and practice with bruises on his elbows, knees, and wrists due to heavy practicing. This bugs the shit out of Asahi and he always feels guilty about it. He tries to dissuade Noya from staying after to practice extra. He also makes efforts to better his spiking, so Noya doesn’t have to throw himself to the ground to retrieve the ball. 
  • Asahi NEVER leaves his hair down during a game or practice, due to a past experience. The story goes that when he was spiking the ball, his bun broke loose and the ball was stuffed. In the meantime, Noya was too busy staring at how glorious Asahi’s hair was, he forgot that the ball was coming right towards him. In the end, Noya was smacked in the face by the forceful hit of the volleyball. Thus, Asahi prevented these measures by triple tying his hair up.


i didn’t expect the beach volleyball joke to turn into an actual AU but i’m 12 hours in and im in love with it. it’s basically just: “what if konami made a metal gear xtreme beach volleyball game” AU/game idea. diamond dogs goes on vacation to play beach volleyball, but there’s walker gears, fultons, CQC, metal gears, and a bunch of other outlandish stuff that isn’t in normal volleyball.

i’ve been thinking a bit about characters, and what special abilities each character would have if they played. i only started with MGSV characters for now, but it’d be super fun if characters from older games were “unlockable” and had their own special abilities as well! there’s so many though!! 

if anyone else wants to join in on the AU and can think up abilities for other characters, tell me about them and your ideas! this could be hilarious fun and i’d love for more people to join in and talk about it HAHA. i’ve been tagging this AU with “metal gear volleyball” so if you got an idea you can use that tag or message me or whatever 👀

i’ve put a bunch more details about characters and moves under the cut. it’s a little long, sorry 💦 

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