voldy's

anonymous asked:

I've lately heard some rhetoric coming from Snapefen that Dumbledore just ~assumed~ that Snape would be cool with James and Harry dying but that this wasn't something that Snape himself would be fine with and that Dumbledore was just talking over Snape in that scene. But this, like, makes zero sense to me? If he wasn't okay with James and Harry dying, then why didn't he ask Voldy to spare them? Better yet, if he wasn't down with murder, WHY DID HE JOIN THE DEATH EATERS AND INVENT SECTUMSEMPRA?

Generally speaking, the issue wasn’t that he didn’t ask Voldemort for James and Harry, because just asking for Lily was probably pushing it and the whole point of going after the Potters was to kill Harry. The issue was that he was signed up with Voldemort at all, and that per JKR he would have been cool if it had been the Longbottoms or indeed any other family that didn’t contain Lily.

Voldemort only knew about the prophecy from Snape. If Snape had even the tiniest doubts about Voldemort, he could have kept his damn mouth shut. The fact that he blabbed it proves exactly where his loyalties lay, not to mention that when Dumbledore points out that Snape doesn’t seem to care about Lily’s loved ones as long as he gets what he wants, Snape himself stays silent - which implies that Dumbledore is bang-on target, just as Lily was when she pointed out that Snape was planning to join up with Voldemort. Back then, too, Snape stayed silent at the accusation, and later events proved Lily entirely correct.

I am really annoyed with the idea that Slytherins are always cool, calm and unemotional. Most of the Slytherins we see are very emotional, and make a lot of important decisions based on strong emotion, and even foil themselves because they get too emotional. They’ll absolutely tear themselves apart for whatever they love, whether that’s a person or power. You have to feel strongly about something to be truly ambitious.

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THE EXAMPLES. Someone insulted you/your family/someone you care about? Forget the snide comebacks, it’s time to SCREAM, YELL, CURSE THEM WITH BOILS. Family doesn’t approve of your boyfriend? ELOPE, it doesn’t matter whether this turns out to be a terrible decision. Boy Who Lived refuses to be your friend? OBSESS OVER HIM FOR THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS. Telepathic Dark Lord is threatening your son/childhood friend? Lie on the spot AND RISK A TORTUROUS DEATH TO DEFY HIM. Dark Lord is threatening your house elf? DRINK POISON AND THROW YOURSELF INTO A PIT OF ZOMBIES.

Slytherin is the House of cunning, not the House of rational decision-making??

Song Parody:

Avada Kedavra

(to the tune of “Hakuna Matata” from

The Lion King

.)

Avada Kedavra
What a horrible phrase
Avada Kedavra
You’ll see a big green blaze
Before you realize
That’s the end of your days
It’s Voldy’s moral-free
Malignity
Avada Kedavra

Ron: Yeah, take Harry for example. (sings)Before he was at Hogwarts

Harry: (opera style) Before I was at Hogwarts!

Ron: (digging in ear with pained expression on face) Lovely, Harry

Harry: (spoken) Thank you.

Ron: His parents were nice, young Lily and James

A great witch and wizard with a well-known name

Harry: Then Voldemort came- Through our door he burst

And he killed them, with that one atrocious curse

And oh!- the pain!

(Ron: Yes, he was in pain)

Harry: Thought of changing my name!

(Ron: Oh, what’s in a name?)

Harry: ‘Till I went to Hogwarts

(Ron: Where did you go?)

Harry: It’s located in-

Ron: (covering Harry’s mouth) Harry! Not in front of the Muggles!

Avada Kedavra
What a horrible phrase
Avada Kedavra
You’ll see a big green blaze
Before you realize
That’s the end of your days
It’s Voldy’s moral-free
Malignity
Avada Kedavra

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Song Parody:

Hey Draco Malfoy

(to the tune of “Hey There Delilah” by Plain White T’s.)

Hey Draco Malfoy
How’s it over there in Britain
You’re 3498 miles away
But you really have me smitten
Yes you do
Harry isn’t as cool as you
I swear it’s true

Hey Draco Malfoy
Your dad’s in with the Dark Lord
All your family are Death Eaters
When they kill you know they are bored
Don’t join them
The rest of the world will be condemned
It could be the end

Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Draco Malfoy

Hey Draco Malfoy
You don’t envy Harry’s scar
You’re a high class pureblood
You wouldn’t be caught dead flyin’ a Muggle car
Muggles are dirt
To Dumbledore’s ways you won’t revert
To him you are curt

Hey Draco Malfoy
You’ve got to make a choice now
Voldy or Harry what side will you choose
You have to make a vow
Don’t join your dad
You’d make millions of fangirls sad
And very mad

Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy

3498 miles seems pretty far
But they’ve got planes and trains and cars
I’d walk to you if I had no other way
My friends all make fun of me
And I’ll just laugh along because I know
That none of them have felt this way
Draco I can promise you
That by the time the books are through
My world will never ever be the same
And J.K. Rowling’s to blame

Hey Draco Malfoy
I know that you’re only fiction
Though you’re already done with school
I’ll be out in just a few years
So please don’t shed too many tears
Don’t get put down by your fellow peers
Draco, please ignore their cruel jeers
Just 5 more years

Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Oh Draco Malfoy
Draco Malfoy

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Severus

Everyone loves to bitch about Severus attitude and ignore everyone else’s flaws. But how the fuck would you feel believing your only worth was to be a tool for dumbledore? To believe that you were nothing? To be abused your whole life and dream of a better life only for
It to get worse. To not have learned the proper way to behave as a child and to
Have it effect you your whole fucking life? Through no fault of your own!?
And was Severus supposed to be nice to the gryffindors? To Harry!? No, that would have blown his fucking cover!
If you don’t think for one fucking second pansy or Goyle or some other shit would snitch to thier parents, who’d get word to Voldy, you’re a fool.
And was Severus supposed to take each student aside and explain that he HAD to keep up a front?! No! These are teenagers! Kids who can’t keep gossip off thier lips! Kids who might not be able to understand the importance of secrecy.
And Severus spent his whole life unable to trust his parents and develop critical emotional attachments (love map- look it up).
How would he be expected to trust kids?
And who would he have to vent to?

Song Parody:

Voldy’s Toxic

(to the tune of “Toxic” by Britney Spears.)

Harry can’t you see
Your prophecy
Says in the end you must kill Voldy
Or be the victim fullfilling the prophecy

Theres no escape
Of this terrible fate
We need more hints
Baby from J.K.
To find out more
About the second war

If i could i would go on
About the second war that has begun
In infinity

Oh the taste of Voldy he will encounter
Its toxic Avada Kedrava!
Oh the taste of a poison
An evil curse
Voldy’s planning his murder
Don’t you know that he’s toxic
The unforgivable Avada
Is now targeting Pottah!

Its getting late
The end is near
Potty must be tough
And show no fear
Magic and muggle worlds
Relying on him dear

The loss of Sirius has Potty ticked
Why’s he the boy that was picked
Oh the prophecy

Oh the taste of Voldy he will encounter
Its toxic Avada Kedrava!
Oh the taste of a poison
An evil curse
Voldy’s planning his murder
Don’t you know that he’s toxic
The unforgivable Avada
Is now targeting Pottah!
Don’t you know that he’s toxic

Aavaadah……
Keedraavah…..

Taste of Voldy he will encounter
Its toxic Avada Kedrava!
Oh the taste of a poison
An evil curse
Voldy’s planning his murder
Don’t you know that he’s toxic

Taste of Voldy he will encounter
Its toxic Avada Kedrava!
Oh the taste of a poison
An evil curse
Voldys planning his murder
Don’t you know that he’s toxic

Intoxicated now
He’s nervous now
I think he’s ready now

Intoxicated now
He’s nervous now
I think he’s ready now

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AU: Harry decides to ‘go on’ in the Kings Cross scene with Dumbledore (after being AK’d by Voldy) to be with his parents & Sirius rather than returning to life to fight on. Neville kills the snake as per canon, but it is Draco (distraught over Harry’s death) who is responsible for Voldy’s death and ends the battle. Harry’s friends, led by Hermione, bring Harry back to life (a la Buffy); he is unhappy about being dragged out of heaven and finds comfort in Draco (think Buffy and Spike)…with a happy ending.

Has this been done? I can’t write – someone do this for me. Please?

leiabenna asked:

Why didn't lily disapparate with Harry while James ran up to voldemort to distract him. She wasted so much time trying to barricade herself? She could definitely disapparate

The only legit answer I can think of is that the Fidelius would ward the house from being Apparated into or out from. Or that they manually warded the house, to avoid Voldy just popping by for a visit.

(Not that it worked out well for them but it’s the thought that counts)

Suburban Pennsylvania Gothics

The balloons tied to the mailbox flop onto the ground like silver slugs, beaten down by the rain. You wonder how the birthday person feels, but then remember that they probably have not noticed. The slugs slither away into the bushes.

Your grandmother used to tell you that the crickets at night were screaming because the grasshoppers were eating them. You never believed her when you were little. Now, you’re not so sure.

You know its summer when the ants invade. It starts with one or two in your kitchen, but soon they spread throughout the house, marching in long, single file lines. You can feel them crawling on you when you close your eyes, but they disappear immediately when you look. You wake up in the morning and your bedspread, once white, is now a writhing sea of black.

The deer outnumber the people here. The snow falls and there are deer footprints on your deck. The snow falls and the deer pace outside your door, waiting, begging. The snow falls and you close your blinds. The snow is falling and the deer are here.

You hear the people complain about potholes. You realize that everyone sees the gaping mouths in the road, and you are relieved. No one ever mentions the teeth, though.