voices and sounds

Dirk Gently's S1 recap transcript
  • Dirk: Where to begin? This show is sort of about...a lot. So...my name is Dirk Gently. I'm a holistic detective and by that, I mean, I investigate cases not through pesky thinking and logic and deduction, but in a more naturalistic way. Then I just sort of wander around and trust the universe to use me to work out the problems that need solving. I'm handsome, brave, unstoppably tough, gifted, stunningly intelligent, and just generally capable of anything I put my mind to. I was hired to investigate the murder of reclusive billionaire Patrick Spring, which is how I met my assistant, Todd--
  • Todd: Stop! Stop. I'm not your assistant.
  • Dirk: Sidekick?
  • Todd: No. I am...a guy you know. I am your friend. I'm not your assistant when you explain to people who you are. I'm Todd Brotzman. I used to be the lead singer of a punk band, but that kinda fell apart. I made a lot of mistakes, I was working at the hotel where Patrick Spring was murdered. That's how I met Dirk. He broke into my apartment, hijacked my life into total chaos. We ended up on the run from a cult, trapped in an underground maze, kidnapped, and finally going back in time. Honestly, we couldn't have done any of it without Farah.
  • Farah: Did you say my name?
  • Todd: Yeah! I was talking about the cult.
  • Farah: Hey, we promised not to talk about that. I find it very triggering.
  • Todd: Well, maybe...do you wanna--
  • Farah: Black. Farah Black. I've always wanted to be in the military or the law enforcement, but I had certain setbacks that stopped me from achieving this. So, I have a very specific skill set which is often very useful in high intense situations. I was Patrick Spring's bodyguard and took it upon myself to find his daughter after he was killed, and that's how I met Dirk, Todd, and his sister.
  • Amanda: His sister. Really? That's all I get? His sister?
  • Farah: I don't mean to be rude but--
  • Amanda: Yeah, cause that's just who I am, his sister. Like am I worth even being rude to? I'm so beneath you, I don't even get a name?
  • Farah: I...uhh...okay. Why don't you just--
  • Amanda: Just kidding. I am Amanda fucking Brotzman. I spent the last 5 years of my life trapped by a disease called pararibulitis, it causes painful hallucinations that feel completely real. My brother was my hero, my role model, until I found out he lied to me about basically everything. I thought my life was over until I met the Rowdy 3, a group of anarchist vampires who can feed on the energy of my disease. So, I'm with them now.
  • Ken: Trapped with a bunch of crazies? I can relate to that.
  • Amanda: Uhhh...who are you?
  • Ken: I'm Ken.
  • Amanda: Did we even meet each other in the first season?
  • Ken: I was kinda busy. I was hired to do some grid hacking by some shady types, but then I got kidnapped by a woman I thought was insane. At first, I was her hostage, but she showed me something incredible: that there was a pattern to the universe, that there might me a bigger purpose, a greater plan to everything. This mass murderer I found--
  • Bart: Huh? Murderer? Come on, I don't murder people. I just kill them.
  • Ken: That's murder, yes.
  • Bart: Words words words. Murder is a mean word. Don't be mean to me or I'll kill you...nicely. I'm an assassin, my name is Bart. Nothing can hurt me. I'm guided by the will of destiny itself to kill all of the people who are supposed to die, so far, that's pretty much everybody who I meet. I've killed tons of thousands of people across the world and will kill tons of thousands more because...that's just how it is. Death comes for everybody, and if death won't get you, I will.
  • Dirk: So basically, it's kind of a long story, but it turns out: the kitten was in a shark, the girl was in the dog, the body swapping machine was actually a time machine, the fat man was a rockstar, I was the gorilla, and Patrick Spring accidentally murdered himself. And they all lived happily ever after!
  • Friedkin: Uh, excuse me, we're not done here. My name is Hugo Friedkin. I was in the army reserves when I was pulled onto a special, top secret mission for a program called Blackwing. It, uh...didn't go perfect. But I did my best and they put me in charge of the whole operation, 'cause that's how the government works, I guess! It seemed to me, the best course of action is also always the biggest, so I did that. I took action. I took everything. So, um, season 2 is just me winning and everyone congratulating me, I guess.
  • Voice: We'll see.

Don’t think I didn’t miss that Reaper’s character select line is “Reaper here.” and Reyes’ opening line is “Reyes here.”