Hi! Can you write one where joker finds out the reader is selfharming? Like when he catches he doing it?
!!!! WARNING !!!!
THIS MIGHT/CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE: IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO TOPICS SUCH AS: self harm, depressing thoughts, blood, gore etc DO NOT READ THIS! I DON’T WANT YOU GUYS TO GET TRIGGERED. I CARE ABOUT YOU SO PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
Side note: I’m not trying to romanticise self harming in any way. It was requested and (warning, an opinion is coming!) I think that people should write anything really. I mean, for some murder can be an awful topic. If no one wrote about crime, there would be no detective stories, comics etc. Just saying!
The pain was one feeling that made me feel alive. I didn’t feel completely empty, numb and dead inside when I made myself feel something. When the blood tickled down my skin or the electricity pinched me, I felt alive. Funny how a few weeks ago I was scared to do this, so terrified that my boyfriend the Joker would find it. I still was, but I reached a point where I couldn’t stop.
I cut myself, not so it was super obvious, but sometimes here and there. What I mostly did was something different. I used a few wires and a battery to give myself shocks. It hurt like fuck and rarely left marks. Of course my skin was bruising but J wouldn’t suspect a thing. It was better so. He wouldn’t understand anyway.
I was a disgrace, a stupid girl who couldn’t do anything right. I felt like J would kill me off sooner or later because no one would want someone like me around for too long. Right? Who the fuck would put up with me for longer than a couple months? I was surprised J hadn’t realized what kind of a fool I was by now.
It was Monday evening in Gotham city. J was out somewhere with his goons so I was all alone in the penthouse. The day had been okay so far, but then things turned upside down when I was alone. My thoughts were clogged with bad memories, all the negative things people had told me, my super awful years and simply depressing thoughts. Like Joker hated me, he only used me, the entire world hated me. Stuff like that.
A couple hours passed and then I found myself in our purple bedroom, sitting on the floor close to the bathroom just in case I had to hurry there. I stared at the electricity gadget in front of me. My vision was a little blurry because I had been crying earlier. Tonight seemed worse. I needed something worse than some shocks. ‘’Fuck it’’ I spat out and got up, walking hazily to the bathroom. I opened a white drawer and grabbed a razor. The small cold metal could do a lot of bad things.
I looked at my almost clean wrist. It was very tempting since I used to cut my legs. J would see if I had a lot of scars on my wrist. One couldn’t be too obvious. So I took a deep breath and placed the sharp metal on my wrist, pressing it gently to add pressure.Then I just stared at it with my heart beating harder than normally. I just had to drag it, down, then it would be done.
‘’Come on now’’ I growled at myself, getting angry because I couldn’t find the guts to do it. Then I leaned against the bathroom wall and I tried again. I just couldn’t. My gut twisted because I was a little pissed off with myself. ‘’Do it you sick idiot! It’s not like anyone cares’’ I spoke out loud once I saw my reflection in the mirror. I saw an ugly worthless girl. I gritted my teeth and then let the anger take the best of me. I made a deep cut and then I dropped the razor on the white tile floor. It took me a couple seconds to realize what I had done.
Blood started oozing out of the fresh cut and it hurt more than I expected. ‘’Oh no’’ I whispered and quickly pressed the wound with my clean hand. I made a huge mess! J would get so mad if he saw a ll this blood! ‘’Shit shit shit’’ I hissed under my breath and hurried to another drawer, pulling out a towel. Then I fell down on my knees and I tried to clean the blood. It just soaked the green towel and my bleeding wound kept making a mess. Before I could do anything else, I was stopped.
‘’What the hell is going on?’’ I heard a very familiar voice by the bathroom door. My entire body froze on the floor, every single muscle and cell just tensed up once Joker’s voice rang through my ears. How long had he been here?
‘’Accident..it was an accident’’ I lied with fear in my voice. Then I started getting lightheaded. I felt like I could just go to sleep for years. But I was also scared shitless now that J caught me. ‘’Don’t..lie’’ He tried to say as calmly as he could, but Joker wasn’t the best anger controller. I could tell that he was fucking disappointed in me. The way he spoke sent a shiver down my spine.
I fucked up.
‘’I’m not lying’’ I whispered with tears in my throat. Suddenly I felt like I could sit on the floor all night. I ignored eye contact and I focused on breathing. In and out.. in and out..
Joker growled something under his breath and I could tell that he struggled to keep as calm as he was. Then he kneeled down in front of me, roughly grabbing the towel and then my arm. I had to bite my lips so I wouldn’t start whimpering when he pressed the towel on my cut, pressing it so the bleeding would stop. He faced down so I couldn’t see if he was super angry or sad. It honestly scared me a little bit.
‘’I swear I-I’ll clean up’’ I broke the silence, because it was killing me. Suddenly J raised his head so he could face me. His red lips were pulled into a thin line and there was a dark, perhaps dull twist in his icy eyes. I tried my best to look into his eyes without crying, but it didn’t take long to fail. His silence was just awful because I knew what he was thinking, what he was doing.
Tears blurred my vision and before I knew it they were rolling down my face. My body started trembling and then I sobbed quietly. Why wasn’t he speaking to me? ‘’Why?’’ I finally heard his voice. Now he sounded both angry and somber. I covered my eyes with my other hand and I tried to wipe away my tears, but I couldn’t stop crying. It’s like all my feelings I had kept inside wanted to burst out. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to explain it to someone who could react in ways I couldn’t imagine. Even tho he was my boyfriend..
Joker did the unexpected. He scooted right next to me and pulled me closer to him by wrapping his strong arms around me. I leaned against his chest. Soon after he started comforting me the best he could, which was a lot coming from him. J ran his fingers up and down my back, slowly, but so I felt his presence. Then he let me cry. I felt like a kid, crying wildly before it could speak. That was exactly my situation.
‘’What made you do this?’’ He asked me with a raspy voice when I calmed down a little bit. I grabbed the towel hard and I tried to take a deep breath. I had nothing to lose anyway so I could tell him anything. ‘’My thoughts’’ I started with a small voice. I had to tell him, because knowing J he wouldn’t let me off the hook until I told him the truth and if there was a person behind something. Once a guy yelled at me in the club because I apparently bumped into him, ruining his outfit with a drink. J shot the guy in the head, just like that.
‘’My thoughts are so mean to me, it’s like I have a bully in my head’’ I tried to explain something. Then I sniffled and blinked a couple tears away. J played with my hair and let me continue. So I simply told him anything that came to my mind. I told him about my past, my bad childhood, stupid exes and how the voices in my head seemed to get louder and more cruel. Everything.
‘’I just feel so worthless, like you’ll dump me soon and then I’ll have nothing’’ I whispered, partly hoping that he couldn’t hear that part. Suddenly he stopped playing with my hair, making me nervous. I hadn’t looked up to him while talking so I didn’t know his mood. I turned a little so I could look at his face. He seemed surprisingly sad. His red lips were parted a little bit and his eyes were very tedious. First he looked into my eyes, then my tearstained cheeks and my wrist where his eyes stayed.
A wave of guilt slapped my face. I made him look so sad. It’s all my fault..
‘’Why haven’t you told me anything before?’’ He wanted to know, this time being the one avoiding eye contact. My heart skipped a beat. I expected him to pull out his gun and put a bullet through me. ‘’Because I didn’t want to bother you J. I-I didn’t want to seem weak’’ I explained myself carefully. J shut his mouth and looked at me again. Then he put his big hand on my cheek, gently. ‘’You’re not weak baby. Damn..’’ He growled and tilted his head from side to side. He was probably debating inside his head whether he should sound harsh or try to stay calm.
‘’You took down a group of armed men by yourself, you managed to get a cold man like me to feel things. Remember when we met?’’ He questioned me with a deep and raspy voice. I nodded, wondering why he brought that up. ‘’You weren’t scared. While everyone else were down on the floor, scared for their lives, you stood out. You walked up to me and I could have shot you, but no. You were so brave. So you’re not weak. If you were weak, you’d be dead by now’’ He told me very honestly without sugarcoats.
‘’But you must promise me something, and I’m not letting you break that promise’’ He warned me seriously. I knew what he would say, but I still waited. ‘’Don’t ever, I mean never ever do this to yourself again’’ He tried to make a deal. The tone in his voice was harsh and I knew why. He wasn’t playing around. ‘’I promise’’ I sighed and faced down, feeling ashamed. I couldn’t do anything right.
J touched my jaw and made me look at him. ‘’I trust you kitten, I really hope you can keep it. The next time you feel this way, speak to me. We can either talk and be like normal people, or go and find a toy to torture. You don’t have to hurt yourself when there’s plenty of people around’’ He suggested seriously with a small smile. The suggestion sure sounded more thrilling.
‘’I’m sorry J’’ I apologized and sighed. I knew I’d have a scar on my wrist to remind me of this whenever I saw it. ‘’Mmh’’ J breathed out and shut his eyes.I didn’t even want to picture what it would be like to find him in my shoes and me in his. If I ever saw J so broken, I’d break too. Did he feel the same way about me? Or was I in deeper than he was? I had no idea and I didn’t want to find out.
‘’Let’s clean you up’’ He declared after a while. Then he got up and helped me on my feet as well. After sitting down and bleeding for a while, standing made me lightheaded. J put his hands on my shoulders so I could let my blood flow and clear my head. ‘’Thanks’’ I murmured silently. Damn this crying made my head hurt.
‘’And just so you know, after a bath and sleep we’re going to find your old bullies and torture them’’ J let me know and then he started filling the tub. I looked at him, first without an expression but then the corners of my mouth carved into a wicked smile. He truly cared about me. ‘’I can’t wait’’ I replied and then the flame of revenge burnt down my misery, at least for the moment.
me before ffxv: i’m not going to ship anything non-canon or unnecessary.
ffxv: here have noctis calling prompto a nerd in an endearing voice, prompto ass slap (x3), motel rooftop scene, “my hero noct”, childhood friends trope, “you’re good enough for me”, emotional support, and the instant classic: “ew, i’m all gross and sticky.” “WOOHOO! Bathtime!”
Rating: Fluff warning: one swear word (i cant help it okay?) requested?: nope.
a/n: so first of all i just want to say, yes the title was inspired by a BTS song because i fucking STANNNN, Thank you so so so much for 200 followers it means a lot and encourages me to keep writing however i’m on hiatus at the moment the only reason im posting is because it’s MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! 200 FOLLOWERS BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER !111!!11!!!. As of 13:34 GMT I will officially be 15!.
The fresh spring grass brushed against the palm of hand. His fingers reached over and intertwined with mine, I let out a small happy sigh. I couldn’t be happier in this moment with Draco Malfoy. He diverted me over to a large tree in the middle of the field and sat me down, I leant over to rest my head on his lap, the sun shone brightly upon us creating strange shadows on the grass and surrounding earth. “I remember doing this when we were younger” his deep voice carefully slipped its way into my daydream. I laughed peacefully, remember my childhood with Draco every year with him was as if my innocence fell away piece by piece. However this is our final year at Hogwarts together and trying to make the most of being together while we still have each other is the best decision I’ve ever made. —— The blonde haired boy in front of me gripped at my wrist and dragged me through a long meadow besides our school, a small slither of his jelled back hair slipped forward to his eyes as he took both my hands and spun me around to face me. The snow crunched beneath our feet as we locked our fingers, Draco turned to me once more with flushed cheeks he lightly smiled pressing a barely noticeable dimple into his cheek. leaning over, I pressed my lips to his dimple and quickly pulled away my cheeks a deeper red than his now… —— “Thinking about times like that makes me wish that we had actually run away like we said we would, we never would have been in this mess. And I know its my fault I dragged you into this” Draco ran his thumb over the death eater mark on my forearm. “Draco you know this isn’t you fault, I got myself into this, you only did it to protect me, and you were forced to do this please don’t blame yourself” I turned around to face him again and press a kiss to his lips. I looked back up at him to find him smiling back down at me. looking off into the distance, the turret’s of the Hogwarts tower glimmered in the lowering sun, and I realised that all these years I’ve been so lucky to have Draco constantly by my side, helping me through thick and thin even if we weren’t exactly on good terms, I don’t think I could be happier with anyone one else besides Draco. —— “y/n you know how much I love you right?” “you remind me constantly Draco” I smiled at him and rolled my eyes “well then… I guess when I’m not around to tell you that, maybe this will remind you” he smiled back, grinned actually, and presented a small box to me, he carefully dug his nails into the opening of the box and revealed a small gold band with multiple emeralds glimmering on top of it. “ this is a promise ring, and I promise that as soon as we get out of here we will get married, If you accept me of course” he chuckled nervously “How could I deny you. I love you so fucking much Draco Malfoy” the whole Slytherin dinning table burst out into applause. —— I fiddled with the ring on my finger and smiled delicately as I felt Draco’s warm lips press softly against my neck, “you know…” he mumbled quietly “I Always Keep My Promises”
Hey guys! Here’s a Fairy Tail one-shot for Gajevy requested by the wonderful and amazing @the-mysterious-redfox. She’s been dying to get me to post something so here ya go! It gets just a bit NSFW-ish at times. Please leave a comment or anything really if ya like! I love feedback.
Prompt: Blanket fort
Gajeel was sorely tired from the
past week and everyone knew it. He had been lashing out at the entire guild,
even Levy. He knew he’d crossed a line, but dammit he was upset. On his last
mission, Lily had been injured because Gajeel had been overzealous. They’d
taken on an entire dark guild together, and he was so arrogant to think his
Iron Dragon Roar would take them all down and keep them there. He was wrong.
One wizard came at Gajeel from behind as he was singing his own praises. Lily
had reacted, taking out the wizard, but received a nasty wound to his abdomen
in the process. His partner was in the infirmary and would be there for some
time, and it was all his fucking fault.
Gajeel could feel a haze of anger,
regret, and frustration build around him with every step he took home. Finally
there, he opened the door expecting Levy to give him the cold shoulder. He
wouldn’t like it, but he understood. He’d screwed up and needed to pay the
price for his actions. Walking inside his home, for the second time this week
he was wrong.
The room was lit with the soft glow
of twinkling lacrimas, and Gajeel could hear the patter of rain. It hadn’t been
raining outside, had it? Was he so removed from the world that he hadn’t
noticed? No, his clothes were dry. The large couch in the living room was piled
with pillows and blankets. The chairs had been pulled from their normal
positions in the kitchen and covered with sheets to make what appeared to be a
tent. He could even smell the faint aroma of cookie dough coming from
underneath the sheets. Had he accidentally walked into his neighbor’s house?
Was he passed out somewhere daydreaming? Then he smelled her. His Shrimp was in
the that mass of fluff and she was coming out. Levy popped her head out of the
Caliban presents the ideal embodiment of my deepest
childhood fears and paranoias. His full-body scales are oiled to perfection;
his stench is intolerably rancid; his eyes glow a healthy red; and his fangs
are sharpened according to standard. I have, however, noted my concern with the
worn-down appearance of his formerly-ferocious claws. This indicates that he
was responsible for carving the regrettable hole in the closet door. Once these
occupational hazards are addressed, I am confident Caliban will be in
compliance with all confinement regulations.
Despite his cramped quarters in my small closet, Caliban has
demonstrated an excellent ability to make that modest space sound much larger
than it is, perfectly mimicking the vast echoing chasms I most fear. His
thundering moans and high-pitched shrieks competently simulate the bewailing
cries of repressed demons. Improvement is needed in his plaintive, persistent
whispers— while, ideally, I feel they ought to resemble the ghostly voice of my
missing daughter, I often hear instead the yowls of my childhood cat, who
disappeared inside that closet years ago.
Caliban has recently become highly unpredictable in his
patterns of appearance and concealment. In past years, he has displayed
superior judgement of the difference between my solitary nighttime
vulnerability and the protections of daylight. He has also understood the
necessity for monsters to remain in closets and uphold the façade of being
merely fantasy. But in 2016, he consistently demonstrated poor discernment
regarding when to make his presence known. His aggressive rattling of the
closet doorknob when the police stopped by to question me resulted in a formal
While his desire for innovation was admirable, his biggest
project of 2016 — to finally emerge from the closet, surrender me, and introduce
himself to a new victim — was sloppily executed. He did not observe safety
protocols meant to protect others from knowledge of his existence. Nor did he
successfully implement measures to prevent unintended broaching of the damaged
closet doors. As a result of his delusional desire to make a connection with
another human besides myself, my daughter was lured towards the hole into the
door, and was tragically lost inside the dark closet netherworld. This regrettable
event also resulted in a formal reprimand, and such blatant oversight in
precautionary measures will be addressed in 2017.
Caliban’s haunting skills are highly proficient.
Furthermore, has previously expressed comprehension of the obligation he has to
remain concealed from the outside world. But after being so tightly constrained
in that small enclosure for three decades, it is perhaps understandable that
his performance would become erratic, and he would struggle to live up to his
full potential as a terrifying closet monster.
I am confident that
with increased discipline — including sharper whips, tighter restraints, and an
increased dosage of medications — Caliban can be successfully hidden away for
many years to come.
//so on Friday at ECCC I got to go to an Animaniacs panel and for the first time saw 3 of my childhood heroes, the voice actors of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner
They were hilarious and I wish I could be friends with them IRL but ofc I couldn’t think of a question to ask until after the panel was over >:T anyway it made me want to go home and try to cosplay one of them so here’s my Wakko costest lmao may or may not bring him some con in the near future?? for now enjoy this munday
Finally could watch those sweet sweet Villanos shorts! I like Dr Flug a lot bc his (spanish) voice actor played a lot of my childhood favorite characters!! amazing!! Le deseo mucha suerte al Creador y al equipo de la serie!! Quiero ver más de estos personajes
“I can tell you, then, that I am afraid of death. Not of what we imagine about death, for this fear is itself imaginary. Not of my death whose date will be recorded in the civic registers of the state. But of that death I suffer every moment, of the death of that voice which, out of the depths of my childhood keeps asking, as yours does: ‘What am I?’ and which everything within us and around seems bent on stifling. When this voice does not speak–and it does not speak often!–I am an empty carcass, a restless cadaver.” –René Daumal, Mount Analogue: A Tale of Non-Euclidian and Symbolically Authentic Mountaineering Adventures