vodka water bottle

  • Me: *has bad habit*
  • People: hey thats not healthy you should stop doing that
  • Me, having realized Bad Habit will get me Attention: *does bad habit even more* *only ever talks about bad habit* *centers identity around bad habit*

Ok so in theatre, one of the things I was tasked to do was keeping the costumes smelling fresh


Without washing them

For, like, 4 months

All I’m saying is that Ford is gonna take one sniff of those hockey bags, and immidiately take a trip to the murder stop and shop.
She returns with an armful of vodka and an empty windex bottle .

She then gathers the bags, puts a mix of vodka and water into the bottle, and sprays them for all it’s worth.

When its done, she lines each of em with dryer sheets


“So do we still need a dryer, or can we just clean everything with vodka from now on?” Tango asks

The foxes as a list of shit i pulled in high school

Dan Wilds: Told someone to get their fucking act together back stage when my mic was on and it rang out over a sea of toddlers who were just there to see the wizard of oz (sorry guys)

Andrew Minyard: had an illegal copy made of the keys to the drama room and used them to break in whenever i felt like for all of senior year

Matt Boyd: used said keys to break in the night before the last day of school and filled the drama room with over 700 balloons (all blown up by 3 people and w/o pumps we’re pretty sure we passed out from lack of oxygen at some point)

Kevin Day: one time my friend brought vodka in a water bottle and you better believe i did shots and then went to history class

Neil Josten: Fell off the set of the musical i was in, badly sprained my ankle, told everyone i was fine and went on to finish the show in high heels (i was, in fact, not fine)

Nicky Hemmick: Went to the first GSA meeting of the year, told everyone i was gay and did not return for any subsequent meetings

Aaron Minyard: once kicked someone in the shins because they wouldn’t stop making fun of me for being short (they went on for like an hour in my defence)

Renee Walker: Someone told me i was intimidating and i said “good” and then “but why i’m literally the nicest person ever”

Allison Reynolds: someone bet me i wouldn’t tell my theatre teacher to shut the fuck up and guess who was $20 richer? that’s right i was

Seth Gordon: my friend convinced one of my classes that i was dead when i was out for three weeks after an appendectomy and when i came back a girl screamed

Wymack: once drove my car to school, turned into the parking lot, drove around the outside of the parking lot and went home because i was not fucking feeling it

BTS as kids from high school
  • Jin: That guy on the swim team who walked around in his speedo way more often than was necessary.
  • Yoongi: The kid who assisted in the front office, knew everybody's business, could make things happen.
  • Hoseok: That guy who always asked all the new kids to sit with him at lunch, probably streaked at a football game, generally beloved.
  • Namjoon: Mall goth.
  • Jimin: The only boy at school to get busted for dress code.
  • Taehyung: That hot sax player that everybody in band wanted to nail, brought vodka in water bottles on band trips.
  • Jungkook: That kid who grew a lot over the summer and went around physically lifting girls for no reason.

-Throughout 7th and 8th grade these 2 girls I know would occasionally sneak in alcohol (like beer, vodka, etc) in a water bottle and drink it during lunch. They never got caught.

- In 7th grade this girl I used to be friends with was suspended for 3 months for having/smoking weed on school grounds.

- One time in 7th grade, during the reproduction unit in science class, I asked the teacher “Do snakes lay eggs out of their month?” (this was a serious legitimate question). And my teacher’s response was “Seriously? That is the stupidest question I’ve ever heard. They have vaginas.” Which was really rude to say because I honestly didn’t know that. In my defense, who’s ever seen a snake’s vagina?

me on tumblr: stay hydrated! drink water! :)

me irl: drinks nothing but coffee, soda, and vodka, hasn’t purchased a water bottle since 2009, vitamin deficient and being followed by vultures

HOW THE SIGNS GOT EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL
  • Aries: Breaking someone's nose
  • Taurus: Ordered dozens of pizza on the principal's credit card
  • Gemini: Changed their grades on the teacher's computer
  • Cancer: Called the teacher a stupid cunt
  • Leo: Got caught watching hentai during class
  • Virgo: Hacked the school wifi and disabled firewalls
  • Libra: Snuck vodka into a water bottle, threw up in class
  • Scorpio: Stalking a cute teacher outside of school
  • Sagittarius: Brought their cat to school and it scratched someone
  • Capricorn: Had a nervous breakdown and punched a hole in the wall
  • Aquarius: Threatened someone with a pair of scissors
  • Pisces: Pulled the fire alarm to get out of taking a test they didn't study for
The Signs On The First Day Of High School

Aries: Easily makes friends with every person in all of their classes without even trying; seems to be completely confident and not even a tad bit nervous

Taurus: Is super nervous and uncomfortable with the big change of environment; carries around a jumbo bag of Sour Patch Kids to take their mind off of things

Gemini: Makes their mark as the class clown before anyone else can think about it; secretly studies each class’s syllabus so that they can study up beforehand and get ahead of everyone else

Cancer:  Picks out their outfit days before; wakes up super early to get ready; is a complete nervous wreck inside; gets lost at least five times

Leo: Struts the hallway like they’re the hottest thing to ever be seen; is secretly nervous and paranoid about what other people are thinking about them

Virgo: Doesn’t talk to anyone; takes notes of everything that the teacher is saying so that they can go out and buy all of their supplies and read all of the required materials before anyone else

Libra: Flirting with all of the hottest seniors and doing a good job of not looking like a freshman; walks out of school with twenty different phone numbers

Scorpio: Sipping on vodka out of a water bottle, observing everyone to tell who they can trust in the long run and who to cut off completely as soon as possible

Sagittarius: Has no worries; goes about the day as if it were just any other ordinary day

Capricorn: Sits down next to Sagittarius and offers them a piece of gum; chills the rest of the day

Aquarius: Walks in, slaps the tallest senior on the butt, and says, “Looking good, Short Stuff. “

Pisces: Shows up late; is really embarrassed when everyone turns to look at them; sits in the black, blushing and averting their eyes

-Deja

Vodka

You were pretty sure if you did another push up you were going to collapse.
“Five more baby girl.”
“How many am I doing?” You huff.
“100.”
“Morgan!” You drop to your knees and glare up at him.
“Come on baby girl! You’ve only got five more.”
“I fucking hate you.” You mumble as you drop down for the next push up as he laughs.
“You love me baby girl.”
“Less and less,” you huff, “with every push up.” You finish the last push up and hit the floor laying flat on your belly. “Remind me why I asked you to help me again?”
“Because I’m the hottest, most fit person you know.”
“I’m going to be so sore tomorrow. If I have to shoot anyone I doubt that I’ll be able to lift my gun.” You’re still laying flat on your towel.
“Good thing I’ll be there to protect you.” Morgan flirts and you laugh. “Where’s your water?”
“Upstairs on my desk.” You groan, “you’re going to have to carry me.”
“I already lifted today baby girl.”
“Was that a fat joke?”
“What no!” He looks down at you and you laugh, you’re not uncomfortable with your body. “Not nice.” He says with a small smile.
“Help me up yea?” You say rolling onto your back. He reaches his hands down and you grab them. He yanks you to your feet then heads to your bags.
“Hey you do have some water in here.” He says pulling the red water bottle out of your bag. Before you can stop him he pops it open and squirts some into his mouth.
“No Morgan wait! That’s not water that’s-” he spits it out into his towel with a cough. “Vodka.”
“Why the hell do you have vodka in a water bottle in your gym bag?” He looks at you sharply. You can tell he’s thinking that you’re not the first alcoholic he’s busted.
“Honestly?” He nods, “my girl friends and I went to a minor league baseball game and their alcohol is crazy overpriced. One of our friends plays on the team and brought that in for us so we could spike our drinks for free.” He looks at you skeptically. “Scouts honor.”
“What’s this players name?”
“Tommy Moran. He’s the pitcher. We went to college together. Dated for a while. Nice guy.”
“You better not let Hotch catch you with this.” He snaps the bottle shut and tucks it back into your bag. He passes you the bag and you sigh. “What? You want me to carry it?” He asks standing outside the ladies locker room. You grab it from him then give him a reproachful look.
“It’s not that.”
“What then?”
“I just can’t believe you spit out good vodka.”

After signing autographs and taking photos with fans at Total Sports Enterprises at The Mall at Robinson, starting U.S. women’s national soccer team defender Meghan Klingenberg took teammates Ali Krieger, Becky Sauerbrunn and Morgan Brian to her childhood home for some good old-fashioned popcorn-eating and movie-watching.

Krieger said she brought her onesie for lounging. Sauerbrunn was a little more rebellious.

“We’re going to sneak in, like, vodka in water bottles and stuff,” Sauerbrunn said.

“I would like to make a request to care for that patient.”

“Is this a personal matter?” 

“A small one; I doubt he remembers me.” Itachi put on his best winning smile but it was difficult with Kisame in the ICU. He had come in with bullet holes. Itachi should have tried harder to keep in touch with him during medical school. 

“As long as you do your care properly, sure.” The head nurse replied and handed the sheets over. “He’s here mostly for blood loss, you know the deal.” 

Itachi gave a nod and took the clipboard. 


~~~~~~~~

“Itachi asked for him personally?” Sakura questioned as she bought juice from a vending machine and ignored the fact Tsunade so had vodka in her water bottle but it was after hours so not her real business. 

“Yup.” Tsunade taped her water bottle against her leg. “It’s more personal then he’s bluffing; the guy had bullet wounds.” 

“But you still said yes.” 

“It’s probably some old fling and Itachi feels bad. Married to his work and all that. Besides, he’ll probably take over for me one day before you do so it’s good for him.” 

“Probably.” Sakura snapped her orange juice open. 

“Probably.” Tsunade shrugged. “Time will tell. As long as he doesn’t do anything to open the guy’s wounds I really don’t care.” 

“He will be transferred out soon.” 

“Exactly. That’s when we learn how Itachi handles this.”

“After?” 

“After.” Tsunade grinned and took a swig from her bottle. “Itachi has colleagues in every bit of this hospital and if his work starts to slack we will know.” 

“True, the only time his work has ever been off Sasuke was getting his wrist set and he couldn’t be there.” 

“Exactly.”