bts drunk vlive: jungkook: ‘vodka and milk taste kinda good together’, jimin giving someone a lap dance, yoongi downing a shot after shot, hoseok lying under the table, namjoon singing expensive girl as a ballad using a spoon as a mic, taehyung doing a striptease on the table, seokjin laughing hysterically in the background
If there is one thing I’ve learned about you it’s that you are equally as self destructive as I am.
You didn’t want to fall in love with me, infact I’m positive you didn’t want to fall in love at all. Between the two of us we managed to sabotage something beautiful and now your name burns in my throat like a shot of cheap vodka. Leaving a taste so vile I can’t help but spit you out. We really were just two shitty people trying to destroy each other before we destroyed ourselves.
Author: @dumbass-stilinski and @celestial-writing Rating: NSFW 18+ Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Reader Words: 3,510 AN: This is a collab between me and Madi aka @celestial-writing and I don’t know but I’m really proud of this! It’s pretty dirty, we got some daddy kink going on over here, but we really hope you like it!
Also, this is a happy belated birthday to Stiles Stilinski!
It was Stiles’ 18th birthday and the whole pack had come to celebrate. After the year you’d been having, it was nice to take a break and enjoy each other’s company instead of fighting whatever big bad had decided to wreak havoc on the tiny town of Beacon Hills.
You had a plan for the party for Stiles’ birthday, you had been planning this surprise for him for weeks and you knew he was going to enjoy it. Stiles never was a person that could keep secrets quiet when he was drunk, even his own.
Lydia was throwing her annual St. Patrick’s party, as usual the drinks were flowing heavily. Your boyfriend, Stiles, had clearly been taking advantage of the parties “amenities” when you found him by the bar.
summary: dan and phil get drunk and film the boyfriend tag (similar to what shane dawson did)
tags: alcohol, so much sweetness and cuteness your teeth will hurt, extreme fluff
by: angelboydjh on tumblr
word count: ~1.8k
first fic posted!! please, ignore any mistakes and reblog and like!! ilu!! send in requests for fics :-)
dan and phil got a little drunk. they originally got out some Ribena, which is completely unharmful, until dan spotted vodka on the kitchen counter, which they only keep for parties. its almost gone, with a half a bottle left, so dan thought of an idea.
“phil, lets get drunk.” phil looked at dan confused; dan never really likes drinking as much as he used to, hes grown, the satisfaction of being drunk doesnt really thrill as much, and its the same with phil.
“why?” asked phil, sipping his Ribena.
“because why not! we have no meeting tomorrow, we are bored out of our minds, and itll be fun! we’ll even be safe, we can control each other well.” phil thought about it. he never really likes hangovers, who does? he gets them bad, and he knows dan gets them worse, but dan was right, they were extremely bored and had no meetings tomorrow. phil shrugged, and replied with a sure, causing dan to jump up with joy.
dan grabbed the bottle and went to phils room, closing the door, and sitting on his bed. he opens to bottle and pours a lot in his drink, doing the same to phil. there is now many 4 shots full left of the drink and dan was happy he rationed out well.
“wanna do a toast?” asked phil.
“with our vodka filled ribena?” chuckled dan. phil nodded, giggling a little.
“why not?” phil responded, and dan nodded agreeing. they lifted their glass cups up and they look at each other. “to us!”
dan laughed at the cliché, but echoed phil, and a clink noise was heard when the touched glasses. dan downed about half of his drink in that one sip, phil only taking a baby sip.
phil made a face, hating the taste of vodka. dan hid his disgust, looking at phil.
“now we wait.” dan took another sip, already feeling slightly dizzy.
dan was fully drunk. he was giggling, putting his head on phil, slurring his words, all of it.
phil was only tipsy. he didnt drink much yet, only about half of his drink. dan, of course, drank all of it, even the rest in the bottle!
“phil!” dan slurred out, and phil glanced over slowly, so he doesnt get dizzy, and raised his eyebrow. “we should do a boyfriend tag.”
phil thought about this. is he that drunk that he doesnt really care if they do one or not? yes. he doesnt really care, its not like itll be posted. phil knows better than that.
“sure.” phil got up to get his camera from the other side of the room, and dan plopped on the bed laughing at who knows what.
it took phil about 2 minutes to set up everything for filming, and an extra 5 minutes to find good goddamn questions.
he finally found some question, a total of twenty. he can barely read them because of his blurry vision, and since he didnt have neither his contacts or glasses on. so he grabbed his glasses from the bed side and put them on to see if itll help. nope. he took another sip of his drink and locked his phone. he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it. he gets up and turns on the camera, praying to god its in focus.
“dan, its on, we are filming.” once those words left phils mouth, dan shot up from phils bed and looked at phil.
“okay, okay, okay, okay,” he kept repeating that until he finally was next to phil on the bed facing the camera. phil giggled at dan, dan looking at him with his red cheeks.
“okay, ready, babe?” asked phil, seeing double of dan. dan nodded, and smiled at phil and then at the camera.
“okay,” phil breathed in and then ‘took in his persona’.
“hey guys!” he said cheerfully, but all it did is make him dizzy. dan was like, on top of phil, so hes grateful that he was, or phil wouldve fallen over.
“im here with dan.” phil pointed at him, and dan waved, his white oversized cat shirt being exposed, and you could even see his naked legs, since hes wearing shorts. “we are doing the boyfriend tag.” phil said slowly, and dan nodded jumping up and down on the bed.
“phil is my boyfriend! boyfriend phil! philip lester, boyfriend!” he yelled, making phil giggle.
“okay, want ask the questions, or do u want me go ask them?” asked phil to dan.
“ask me the questions! then we will do it back!” dan suggested, and phil nodded encouragingly.
“okay, first question.” phil unlocked his phone and read it very carefully.
“when is my birthday?” he asked. “bonus points for the zodiac sign!”
“january 30th, that makes you a……” he strung out the 'a’ to think. “an Aquarius! aquarium.” he laughed, and phil chuckled.
“correct baby.” he leaned in to kiss dan, and dan kissed him, tasting of vodka and ribena.
“okay, now,” phil was going to go to the next question, but dan protested.
“now do mine! do mine!” dan pouted, crossing his arms.
“june 11th! youre a gemini.” phil stuttered out, making dan laugh.
“lucky guess.” he muttered jokingly.
“next question,” phil scrolled down the page. “where did i grow up?”
“im too drunk for this phil!!” he moaned out. “the north! thats all youre getting.”
“well, youre not wrong.” said phil. “ill give you the point.”
“what about me?” asked dan.
“ugh! exact place!”
“not fair, you didnt do that for me!”
“ugh, whatever.” dan pouted again.
“wipe that pout off your face princess.” phil whispered, grabbing dans chin.
“im just kidding philly!” dan kissed phil, getting him off guard.
“okay, next,” phil asked. “whats my middle name?”
“michael! these are too easy! i want harder ones. test me!” dan groaned out, and phil rolled his eyes.
“okay, okay,” phil said. he scrolled down to another website, which had different questions. “how about this: where was our first date?”
“EASY!” he yelled, throwing his hands up. “well, kinda,” he muttered. “its hard!”
“well, tell me.” phil said suggestively, leaning closer to dan.
“we first met of course at the train station,” he muttered out. “and then we went straight to your house, and, did things. does that count as a first date?” this took him way too long to say, as he was stuttering madly.
“yes, it does. great job, cutie.” phil said happily and leaned in for a kiss.
“okay, let me ask the question!” phil started to give him the phone, but dan refused, saying he wants go make one up.
“whats the first thing you notice about me?” he asked a bashful.
“your smile.” phil said simply. no explanation was needed to make dan feel all warm inside. dan covered his face and leaned on phils shoulder, grinning like mad.
once he got up, he looked at phil, seeing his wonderful, eyes.
“you know what mine is.” he muttered, almost inaudible. it was phils turn to blush. they lean in and kiss once again, but longer than before.
when they pulled apart, dan was seeing actual stars, and couldnt even understand what was happening, completely forgot about the video.
“oh my god, i love you so much.” he said in a shush tone, with phils hand on his cheek. they were only a few inches away from each other, and phil loved it. phil was exploding every inch of dans face, and so was dan. every moment phil made, it made him more dizzy and more dazed, but he didnt care.
within a few moments, they both locked eyes, and somehow, both remembered they were recording.
“uh, one more question,” phil stuttered out, as dan looked around for his almost empty drink. “okay, last question. what is my favorite color?”
“easy, blue.” dan said, as he drank his final sips of his drink before crushed it and threw it.
“hey!” phil protested, looking over at the cup.
“ill pick it ip later, babe.” dan slurred out almost incoherently. “whats mine?”
“easy, pink.” phil mocked. dan smiled softly, putting his arms around phils neck, phil put this hands on dans waist.
“what kind of pink?” he muttered, with his sloppy grin on his face, his curly hair perfect in tack still. (which surprised phil)
“pastel.” dan groaned jokingly, letting his head drop down onto phils shoulders.
“oh my god, i tried to trick you!” dan yelled.
“well, you didnt. 8 years of friendship pays off.” phil joked. dan put his head on phils shoulder, his head facing the camera.
“can we finish? i wanna cuddle with you watch disney movies.” phil chuckled and nodded.
“we’ll finish, lets do the outro.” phil tapped dan, so he can get up from his shoulder, but dan didnt move a muscle, indicating hes not moving.
“okay, well, goodbye everyone, please like a subscribe to me and dans channel, and our gaming channel! love you!” he waved and awkwardly looked at dan.
“i need to turn off that camera baby.” dan groaned and got up from phils shoulder. phil got up and turned off the camera, sitting right on his bed again next to dan.
“can we just cuddle?” phil can tell dan was getting tired, and getting all drained. he gets like this when hes drunk, but also after recording videos.
“of course, princess.” phil laid down, then wrapping his arms around dan who is not next to them. they peacefully fall asleep, with the lights on and phils snoring.
it was the morning, and phil is posting his premade video on lessamazingphil, just a quick vlog from florida. its taking surprisingly long to process, since its only 2 minutes, but phil didnt question it. its almost done, so phil went to go see dan, who has the worst hangover ever.
“how are you baby?” asked phil, laying next to dan.
“better, how bad was it?” he asked, and phil laughed.
“you were fine, not as bad as a few months ago, but you were not any better.” dan groaned, and at that moment his phone dinged. he unlocked his phone to see the notification, YouTube popping up, and it was phils new video.
“uh, phil.” dan said.
“yes?” phil hummed.
“you posted the wrong video.”
“what?” phil yelled a little too loudly for dan, as he backed away and gave phil his phone in just one beat.
“i uploaded our drunk boyfriend tag.” dans eyes widen.
“we filmed a video? no way, i dont remember this. did we kiss?”
“i was drunk too!”
“well, i would keep it up.”
“we already made this mistake once, lets just let them have what they want.”
“Although the vodka tasted like rubbing alcohol and a bitter distrust had molded itself around her veins, she couldn’t help but see the warmth in Taehyung that should have never been there. Taehyung should have never been here.” Gang AU: Where Taehyung moves in next door to the runaway heir of his rivals, and she seems more distraught about it than him. Rated M/Warnings: violent themes/slight gore, sexual themes, dacryphilia, overstimulation, intoxicated sex, slight mention of alcohol, princess!kink Word Count:13,443