(Context: half our players couldn’t make it so we had a mini venture. Our fighter, rogue, and Druid (me) entered a bar for a drinking contest, and the rogue has just ingested some of my deepshrooms, giving him the mind reader effect. This is a collection of quotes said during that segment.)
DM: Ok, first round. The drink of choice is Dwarf Vodka. It’s a very strong liquor brewed with deepshrooms.
Rogue: (ooc): This won’t make me loose my mind reading, will it?
DM: Nah. But you might suffer cardiac arrest.
Rogue (ooc) I’ll still do it.
DM: Ok, first round is down. Everybody make two fort saves: one for the taste and one to continue.
Me: 19, 17.
DM: You flinch, but stay in the game.
Rogue: 12, 18.
DM: It burns the back of your throat permanently, but you’re ok. You also gain a +1 to your mind reading.
Fighter: NO! F$&K!
DM: Critical Failure! (Player name), you take a test sip, and immediately pass out, taking 2 damage as your head smacks against the table.
Me: Someone roll him on his side so he doesn’t choke on his own vomit.
DM: Fourth round, everybody. Roll.
Me: Aww, I got a 4.
DM: (Player Name), you stutter a bit, and slump against (Rogue’s name). You’re out.
Me: Can I roll to suppress vomit?
DM: Not when you’re asleep.
(Rogue has spotted a red Magee who stole his documents earlier)
Rogue: I’ve got some beef. I’m following that guy.
DM: While you’re drunk, high, and about to pass out?
Rogue: I’m making a capsule to put documents in. It’s going up my butt.
DM: I’d ask why but whatever.