vodka is kind of a hobby

The signs as IVE known them

Saw this floating around the horoscope tags and decided to do one of my own. Disclaimer this is the signs as actual people I have known and does not account for the behavior and personality of the signs as a group.

Signs as I’ve known them:

ARIES: Homestuck, anime, world of war craft. Glasses. Short red hair. Goofy jokes. Feminist as fuck. No seriously don’t fuck with the angry feminist. Pan sexual. Open minded. Lover of all things cats. Odd little British southern cinnamon roll. Ramen noodles, toast, cheese, coffee. Baking is life, not a hobby. Art, creativity, so smart but doesn’t see it. So sweet but will stand up for what’s right. Doc martins.


TAURUS: Good food, healthy while also being comfort food. Cheesecake with berries and pecans. Nature walks with her golden retriever mix. Bedding so fluffy it’s like you’re sinking into a cloud. Painting the walls earthy Gemtone colors. Paintings everywhere, art studio with a glass wall looking out over the backyard. Champagne blonde curly hair pulled up into a messy bun,tan skin. Green tea and Panera bread when we’re on the go. Incense burning in the living room. Knows all the celebrities. Friends with George Clooney. Getting me autographs the entire time I was growing up.


SCORPIO: opinionated. Never wrong. Overly confident. Mustang convertible. Pink everything. Spoiled af. Pasta all the pasta,Olive Garden fuck me up. No seriously, what’s a vegetable? Mani-pedi’s every week. Hot tub Sunday’s. Traveling. Christian when it’s convenient for her. Harry Potter. Twilight. Basic bitch, but still hella cute. Cali life. Superstitious. Terrified of ghosts. Biology major. Goal orientated. Self centered. You either love her or hate her, there is no in between, and she couldn’t care less either way.

SAGITTARIUS: prayer beads. Incense. Messy unkempt curls. Thick beard full of tufts of cotton from work. Blue eyes. Goofy smile. Weird sense of humor. So incredibly intelligent. Bollywood movies.

LIBRA: Blonde hair, amber eyes that are warm and mesmerizing. McChickens only mayonnaise. Country music and pretty little liars marathons. Talking about boys and being set up with one of her cute friends. BEST LAUGH I’ve ever heard. Inside jokes. Sister like bond that is unbreakable. Always having each other’s back, even if they’re wrong. Being there for each other through heart ache and abuse. Understanding each other like no one else could. Cigarettes and bonfires. Staying out all night, lying to your parents about where you are. Riding around in a jeep going no where in particular, windows down, hair blowing in the wind, freedom. Best friend. Soul mate. Platonic love of my life.


VIRGO: Road trips filled with loud music, LAUGHTER, Taco Bell quesadillas EXTRA SAUCE and sun drop, lots of sun drop. Staying up late at night dying each other’s hair and making art with oil pastels. Matching tattoos. Getting ready for a party, trading clothes, throwing them on the floor until you find the right outfit. Waking up late extremely late and rushing out the door in a hurry. Unwashed hair pulled up in a ponytail. Sitting in the bathroom floor In front of a mini heater playing with her makeup and talking to her while she showers. Ice skating with a hangover. Cats. A strong love for all animals. Hookah. smoking for the first time in a cold attic, making jokes and laughing til our stomachs hurt. Shady house parties in basements. First girl I ever kissed. Rise against. Being close and sharing everything, having someone you can be 100% real with,just yourself, no facade.


AQUARIUS:
Opinions, lots of them. Stubborn as FUCK. Sharp tongue, soft heart. Passionate about everything, music, politics, art, cinema. Captivating smiles, Green eyes lighting up when they’re talking. Wanting to share their hobbies and passions with you. Sending you music, making you playlists. Loves all music. Crying during movies. Love for sci-fi. Love for human kind. Chips for dinner. Lemonade vodka and strong bow. Toboggans (as he calls them) through all seasons. Love poems. Snuggles and talks about aliens and conspiracy theories. So soo intelligent. A smile that could stop your heart.

PICSES:
Very studious. Smart. Glasses. UFC.
Mustache. Funny. Red hot chili peppers. New shoes. Principled. Phlebotomist. Football. Coffee obsessed.

CAPRICORN: Tiny human. So fake. Will stab you in the back for a French fry. Spoiled brat. Disrespectful to her parents. Queen bitch. Pop music. New car every 6months. New boyfriend every 3.. OMG IM SO
FAT. Weighs 100 lbs soaking wet. Dog lover. Cat lover. Great Britney Spears impression. Gave her rabbit chocolate one time. Thinks she invented steak and eggs for breakfast.

CANCER: I don’t think I know a cancer????

LEO:
Football. Long black hair. Stories on Native American culture. The Grateful Dead stickers on an old dresser. Reptiles. The smell of weed lingering on his Tshirt. Playing golden eye in the living room. Dinner consisting of beef jerky, Doritos, snickers and dr.pepper.

GEMINI: Marlboro reds. Curly brown hair. Deep brown eyes. Broken nose. Heath ledger doppelgänger. Perfect teeth. Led Zeppelin. Skate board shoes. Foster kid. Nick names. Has a cat named kitty mow mow. Promise ring after 3 months. Very troubled. Compassionate. Loves deeply. Secret tattoos. Protective. Possessive. Red.
Hoodies. Awful friends. Video games.

Me During Any Convo

Person: “So what are your hobbies?”

Internal thought: “Don’t say Columbine don’t say Columbine don’t say Columbine don’t say Columbine.”

Me: “Uhhhhhhhh, watching tapes.”

Person: “Oh that’s fun! What kind of tapes?”

Me: *sweating* “Just ya'know some videos and stuff of uh these guys and school uh and bikes and uh yeah just stuff.”

Internal thought: “Wtf was that!?!?”

*sounds of fire crackling*

Oh my god, still so burned out, my head is a piece of raw charcoal by now.

No seriously, you could break pieces of it off and draw pretty pictures.

You could toast delicious marshmallows over my face.

I’m already thinking to myself, “hmm if I do a post-office run after lunch, what drugs could I buy while I’m out that will help get me through the day?”

when you’re feeling lonely today remember that valentines day is just a celebration of love and love doenst just mean having a partner you can love anything celebrate platonic love celebrate how much you love your friends and family or maybe you really love dogs or vodka or cars celebrate your love of anything celebrate how much you love your favorite sport or hobby love comes in all sorts of shapes sizes and colors and if romantic love is the only kind of love you have in your life then you’re not living screw romance you dont need anyone else on valentines day celebrate loving yourself