vodka is kind of a hobby

Me During Any Convo

Person: “So what are your hobbies?”

Internal thought: “Don’t say Columbine don’t say Columbine don’t say Columbine don’t say Columbine.”

Me: “Uhhhhhhhh, watching tapes.”

Person: “Oh that’s fun! What kind of tapes?”

Me: *sweating* “Just ya'know some videos and stuff of uh these guys and school uh and bikes and uh yeah just stuff.”

Internal thought: “Wtf was that!?!?”

*sounds of fire crackling*

Oh my god, still so burned out, my head is a piece of raw charcoal by now.

No seriously, you could break pieces of it off and draw pretty pictures.

You could toast delicious marshmallows over my face.

I’m already thinking to myself, “hmm if I do a post-office run after lunch, what drugs could I buy while I’m out that will help get me through the day?”