I just want to radiate warmth I want to feel it I want to give it off I want to spill it out I want so many things I can’t have I ruin things by daydreaming them into non existence my dreams have been so vivid lately like some scary swamp between my bedroom and the woods and I’m so sad but I don’t know what the point in saying it is and I’m so scared but I don’t know what the point in saying it is and I’m so confused but I shouldn’t be so confused and I shouldn’t be upset with people who aren’t me for where I am but I am realizing I was raised to never argue with men or question the authority of men or speak to men unless spoken to and you know I just need to do a lot of unlearning. I can’t stop thinking about the way I was raised and how I’m always so bitter about the fact that my parents never seemed fully committed to the idea of being my parents and my mom put a black woman on this earth without any realization of what that even really means and I’m just here with no fucking clue what I’m doing and she taught me so much fear and I don’t have a reference point to what being like myself even is I feel like I never have enough time before the nurturing stops I feel misunderstood always always always always and I’m mad at myself for not being able to cope w the cards I’ve been drawn I just want someone to wipe my tears away and I just want to be alright and I don’t ever know what the fck I’m doing
in my experience with the three (3) i went to in the surrounding area it was. uh. you know when you step into a place and there’s nothing immediately noticeably wrong but you can just Feel that this is a Bad Space? like the kind of space where if you catch a glimpse of your mother walking down an aisle and turning a corner you know it’s a demonic trick and if you follow her it’ll lead you down a path to a dark space you can’t return from?
or you go in with your friend who’s right next to you but you get a text from them saying “hey i’m in the shoe aisle, you should come here” and you know it’s a trap from the devil? like other things:
only half of the dim, washed out, often flickering fluorescent lights were lit at any given time, usually only every-other set, leaving these valleys of darkness that made entire aisles inaccessible for fear of shadow people latching on to your soul like a dark passenger.
entire sections were just Empty. empty shelves with no product, never any employees filling them up, no boxes waiting to be unpacked, no signs saying what should be there.
no employees at all actually? wandering around the store even though the parking lots were full and you walked in with a group of 20 or so felt so lonely. you could walk the whole place and it was dead silent and the only other “people” around always were several aisles away with their back turned, unmoving. there was always only one cashier and there was never anyone in her line.
there was never any music on or announcements played? another place that does this are all the dollar trees in my area and it gives me anxiety. i feel like i’m being hunted, like i have to hold my breath and listen for the footsteps of beasts in other aisles.
the fitting rooms had a strange, dark energy to them. it felt like if you ever used them, whatever universe you closed the door on would not be the same one you stepped out into when you were done. the washrooms also contained this same dark energy.
passing the employees-only doors felt like wandering too close to a bears den. the glass windows never showed anything going on back there, no racks of product, no employees milling around. it was just pitch black, complete darkness. a hungry void.
leaving a target was the same disorienting feeling as leaving a dark theatre and exiting into the light. sound and colour and feeling rush back in. you feel like you can breathe again. a weight is lifted from your shoulders. you can’t remember any of the time you spent inside the target.
it is my sincere belief that the targets in canada never existed. the storefronts were put up, yes, but the stores themselves were vast empty caverns filled with dark dreams and sinister interlopers attracted to the malignant leftover energies from zellers. passing through the automatic doors was meant to teleport us to the nearest american location, but something went wrong and we entered an unnatural zone halfway between the upside down and whatever it was that happened in the langoliers.
After an ugly breakup between you and your boyfriend of nearly one year, Jimin – you’re not only heartbroken, but absolutely irate at the things discovered after the two of you split up. One night while under the influence of pure unadulterated anger and alcohol, you and your best friend come up with the perfect plan to get back at him. Because, after all, you do know what they say, right?
If he breaks your heart, you fuck his best friend.
The gentle click of heels against the linoleum floor - almost drowned out by the muffled music coming from the end of the corridor. A cracked door, the only light source in a space that had no windows. When Jeongyeon had told you that Hoseok would be practicing late, you almost didn’t believe her. You and he had never been close. The only time you ever spoke was when Jimin would bring you over to the frat house and most of the time Hoseok would be making out with his girlfriend or fucking her loud enough that when she would leave his room - dazed with messy lipstick and a bubbly expression on her face, the boys would tease her nonstop until a blush rose on her cheeks.
Secret things your sign gets anxious about randomly (check your moon too):
psst: These are all things someone could get anxious about, but I’ve personally seen certain things in one sign the most which is why I have assigned it to them here.
Aries: Although they can be quick to rebel, they secretly fear judgment from their peers but will always be too proud to admit this.
Taurus: Awkward silences! They love being seen as charming and holding a conversation with someone new feels like a lot of work sometimes, as they’re worried they’ll run out of things to say
Gemini: Ending up alone. They adore being surrounded by friends and people they can laugh with, boredom and loneliness are a terrible thought.
Cancer: If the person they care about cares about them as much too. They’re insecure about their abilities in friendships/relationships and always think they should be doing more.
Leo: Their mental capabilities! They project loads of confidence and most of the time do really have it, but one small failure in for example school can lead them towards a downward spiral for an hour or two.
Virgo: They really worry about timing. They get stressed about being on time, doing everything before the deadline is a must and this can lead to small breakdowns.
Libra: Being invited places. They really can’t stand the thought of being left out! They also fear someone pointing out their flaws a lot.
Scorpio: Having their secrets out in the open. They’re protective of what they know and feel the need to hold on to intimate details to stay safe.
Sagittarius: Being the odd one out with nothing to say in a group of people. They’re social AF and need to be somewhat of a leading figure and on top of things.
Capricorn: Being betrayed by their friends. They feel the need to be backed up in confronting situations, and although they can fight their own battles they also want people standing with them.
Aquarius: Losing someone they love. Of course, everyone would hate this but Aquas have a vivid imagination and think too much, to the point where they can randomly find themselves in tears over someone who hasn’t even passed away yet.
Pisces: Not being cool enough. Funny enough, I find that Pisces (at least in their teen years) try very hard to fit in with popular people. They need to talk like them, act like them, dress like them. That’s totally fine! But can be stressful to keep up with.