Doumeki’s Lust in xxxHOLIC Rou Adayume (Selfish Dream)
Cages wanting to trap him, hands wanting to grab him, mouths trying to devour him, shadows wanting to possess him… Dreams are a reflection of innermost desires of your mind.
Yes, we know Haruka.
I’ve recently re-watched xxxHolic Rou Adayume (literally translated as xxxHolic Cage: Selfish Dream) and noticed how I felt more disturbed during Doumeki’s nightmare scene than the first time I watched it. At first, I thought it had been Watanuki trying to run from danger but that didn’t fit why he looked quite disturbed when talking to Haruka afterwards. Also, why was the OAD titled ‘Selfish Dream’? That could only mean Doumeki’s dream was selfish. But Doumeki and selfishness don’t go together, right?
For me, the initial talk Haruka gave about selfish human hearts and the nightmare scene revealed the whole picture: Doumeki lusted after Watanuki but he knew his desires were selfish since acting upon them would be detrimental to Watanuki’s future. So, the later had to enter his nightmare and free himself from Doumeki’s selfish desires.
Allow me to explain why I believe it was ‘lust’.