virtues of disappearance

But I Wonder Where Were You

I Have Loved You Since One Shots: But I Wonder Where Were You


*Click the ** as you see them to add some visuals to your reading*

*Inspired by the music video of ‘Maps’ by Maroon 5*

“You look gorgeous,” Harry smirked, standing by the door with his arms crossed. He watched as you slipped on your shoes and some last pieces of jewelry to complete the look. 

You smiled and looked over to where he stood, “Zip me up?” 

He was quick to come over and put his hands on you. The straps that sat on your shoulders began to slip off as he pressed small kisses across your back. Your eyes drifted closed to his touch and you captured your bottom lip in between your teeth. He pulled back and his fingers brushed down your spine before slowly zipping up your dress. 

You turned to face him, taking his cheek into the palm of your hand and pulling him in for a kiss. His cologne was strong and his chest was heavy. Your hand lingered under his button down as your tongues fought for dominance against each other. His hands shifted from your waist to your bum, giving it a small squeeze before you pulled back from his taste. “We’re going to be late,” you whispered out of breath. 

“Ah, no one’s going to miss us,” he smiled, pulling you in closer to clear the space between you two. You giggled looking up at him, his dimple was deep and his eyes were greener than usual with a hint of blue and crystal. 

You could feel his bulge getting harder beneath, making you chuckle even more but you had to leave soon. It was Grimmy’s birthday bash and he had opted for a club party tonight in London.

“C’mon,” you insisted, pulling his arm behind you as you headed out the bedroom door. “We can finish this later,” you looked back, watching his grin reach ear to ear.


“Hey, look who’s here!” Grimmy shouted above the music as he saw you and Harry walk into the club. He rushed over between you two and threw his arms around the both of you, “Lovely seeing you here,” he greeted with his heavy breath that was already wreaked of whiskey. 

Harry chuckled, “Happy birthday, mate! Are you drunk already?” 

You smiled as the two of you headed closer to the crowd, trying to steady Nick on his two feet. ”Eh, just a bit,” he scrunched, holding up his finger and thumb to show you just how little. You sat him down in a booth only for him to stomp back up, reaching for another shot from the tray the waiter was holding. “Harry, go on! Take a shot, I’m sure the missus won’t mind,” Grimmy laughed, handing him the small glass. Harry looked over at you, waiting for permission and you nodded as you watched the two squirm at the taste of bitterness. 

You spotted Sophia by the bar with Lou and you decided to leave Harry with the mess of Grimmy. “Hey,” you reached for his arm. “I’m going to go say hi to Soph and Lou, I’ll find you later?” He nodded and you gave him a quick kiss before heading off in the other direction. 

“Hey,” you almost shouted. The music was blasting and you could feel the vibrations through the floor and your bones. The room was crowded and filled with many men and women dancing against each other with a drink in hand. 

Sophia turned and her face widened into a smile before pulling you into her arms for a hug, “Hey! You look so gorgeous, I love your dress!” She kissed your cheek and you thanked her before stepping over to hug Lou. 


Lou handed you a glass before you brought it to your lips, chugging the sour drink. Your body flared and you could feel your cheeks turn red, it was only the third shot and you were already feeling a bit tipsy. 

“Let’s go dance,” Lou yelled, clearly a bit drunk. She pulled you and Sophia behind her onto the dance floor before either of you could deny. 

Your vision was starting to get hazy and your thoughts were getting foggy. Every touch against you was heightened and you could feel your hips roll against Sophia. She wrapped her arms around you and you placed your hands on her waist, continuing to dance. You watched as Lou twirled with her hands over her head and swayed to the music. 

You knew the alcohol was getting to you as you wondered where Harry was. 

He stood by the side of the dance floor with a drink in hand. He watched as you moved and lost yourself on the floor. He knew you were never the type to dance, you didn’t like dirty dancing. But he also knew that whenever you got mixed with alcohol, all those virtues disappeared. 

Harry continued to stare as your dress seemed to somehow cling on tighter to your body, bringing out the clear shape of your figure. The laced design that surrounded your chest sent him reeling and weak at the knees. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was him but the longer he stared, the more he wanted to rip the dress off and take you on right here, right now. ** 

“Hey handsome,” a drunken blonde coaxed, wrapping her arms around Harry’s shoulders from behind. “I’ve seen you before." 

Harry smirked, turning around to face her, “Have you?” 

The girl nodded, taking her bottom lip in between her teeth before turning around and pulling Harry’s hand in hers. 


Your stomach was actually beginning to hurt and your body felt sore. You just wanted to go home and take a warm bath with Harry but you couldn’t find him anywhere. Your heels were killing you by the second, you could feel your toes breaking as you reached down to pull them off. 

"Hey babe,” Liam mumbled, reaching his arm out to give you a hand. “You alright?" 

You nodded even though you could throw up any minute now. “Have you seen Harry?” 

He shook his head, “No, I haven’t seen him since he said he’d come looking for you.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed as he never came to look for you. At least, he didn’t find you. “Oh, okay. Thanks, uh, I’ll find him.” 

You tried your best to give him a friendly smile before walking away. You reached for your phone in your clutch and pulled it out, dialing his number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail. 


He could still feel the alcohol burning down his throat as the girl pushed her tongue down. Her warm hands wandered across his chest before her arms wrapped around his neck, tugging on his curls. Her leg skidded up and down against his before Harry lifted her, keeping his hands under her thigh to keep them both steady against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist as they both continued to kiss. 

He carried her over to the couch that sat in the corner of the ladies’ room, dropping her on her back. She reached down to the hem of her top and pulled it over her head, displaying the black laced bralette. She was fit; her hair covered her back and her blue eyes stared up at him, begging him to continue. 

She began to unbutton his shirt before he stopped her hands. “Wait,” he grunted. “I-I have a girlfriend.” 

She grinned, slowly sitting up to close the space between them, “She doesn’t have to know.” She was quick to capture his lips with hers and she continued to tug off his shirt. His hands slipped down her side as he disconnected from her lips and moved down to her neck. He sucked gently on her collarbones and moved down to her breasts, peppering each one with wet kisses. 

The small sound from where the door was made his skin jump and he quickly pulled away to find you standing by the side. Your eyes and body was ablaze as you took in the sight of his hands on her. Her legs were still wrapped around him, only making you even more furious. 

"B-babe,” he stuttered, pushing her off his lap. He stood from the couch and began to button up his shirt, quickly making his way over towards you. “It-it’s not what it looks lik-”

The tears threatened to fall as your hands balled into fists by your side. You couldn’t look at him, this wasn’t real. This was a horrible, cruel nightmare that you would wake up from any second because the burning tears against your eyes were stinging to the utmost. 

You turned away, beginning to march away when you felt his hand grab your wrist. “Baby, please wait!” 

“No!” You screamed, escaping his grasp. “Don’t call me that! You are not allowed to call me that,” you hissed. Your voice was steady but you knew it wouldn’t last much longer. “You are disgusting, you are fucking disgusting Harry!" 

"No, please, let me explai-” he begged, leaning forward to reach for your hands again, only for you to push them away.

“Explain what? Explain how you were about to have sex with another girl?” You growled. “God, I can’t even look at you right now.” The alcohol was finally leaving your head but now it was hurting your body. Your head was spinning and you could almost feel yourself breaking.

Your tears blurred your vision as you watched the drunken man become sober in front of your eyes. You took a breath, wanting to yell at him more but you didn’t know what else to say. This was the honest, righteous man you loved. The man who you thought would never hurt you was standing right there, just a few inches away, watching you crumble into a million pieces. 

You turned and ran in the other direction leaving the club. 

The cold January air was whipping against your skin as you ran down the block. You had left your jacket in the club but you refused to go back, you were not giving Harry another chance to make up more stupid excuses. 

Your heart shattered piece by piece as you continued to stumble along the sidewalk. The tears stained across your cheeks burned in the cold wind and you could feel your nose stiffen while you cried. 

The clock tower a few blocks away chimed midnight. You brought your head up to look when you realized you had nowhere else to go tonight, Harry was the only home you knew in London. 

A rugged hand crept against your arm causing you to jump in your skin. “Hey there beautiful,” the bearded man grinned, his hand sliding down further towards your waist. 

“Get off,” you spat, pushing his arm off. You staggered off to the end of the block with him following behind. 

“Oh c’mon love,” his voice was gravelly and you hated the word ‘love’ coming out of his mouth, it was foul. 

He reached for your arm, grabbing it aggressively and pulling you towards him, “Don’t be a damper.” 

“Get the fuck off me!” You pushed his chest as hard as you can; stumbling backwards and slipping off the side of the street. Your legs wobbled as the man’s face widened. The tears streaming down your face was agonizing and the street lights were as bright as the headlights of the car bolting towards you. 


His head was spinning, the tail light of the cars in front of him were blurry as he rushed through the traffic. His fists banged against the wheel as he cried and wept uncontrollably.

You had to be okay, you had to be alright. If anything happened to you, he wouldn’t forgive himself. This couldn’t be the way things ended, it can’t be! He had left you walking alone in the busy streets of London after he was caught kissing another girl that wasn’t you. He felt so stupid and ignorant, “Fuck!” He bellowed, hitting the wheel once more.

He jumped out of the car and ran towards the hospital doors to the lady behind the counter. A couple of men and women were waiting along the desk but he pushed through. “Where’s the A&E?” He panted, visioning stars in his sight. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the tears but he didn’t care.

“Sir, please calm down,” the middle aged woman notified firmly. “We will get to you in just a minu-”

“No, just tell me where the fucking room is,” he hollered, throwing his arms in the air. The woman seemed terrified by his rage and was ready to call security. 

“Sir, please,” she trembled. 

Harry had already stormed off in the other direction before the lady could finish. A series of room numbers passed but he still couldn’t find you. Dozens of nurses and doctors glared at him as he hobbled down the hallways, looking everywhere. 

The red light above a door was lit and without thought, he barged in, hoping to find you. And he did. 

You laid on the gurney, still and unrecognizable. The damage done to you was horrific. The feeling he felt was stronger than hate and anger, his eyes were burning with rage and the warmth running through his veins was replaced with ice. 

“Sir, you can’t be in here,” the doctor said firmly, motioning the security guards aside to escort him out. 

He fought as the men grabbed his arms and began tugging him out through the doors. “Let go of me!” He yelled. “She’s my girlfriend!” 

He struggled between the two men but kept his eyes on you and watched as the multiple doctors surrounding your scarred body, attempted to fix you. Your bleeding head flooded your skin and your arms laid motionless with cuts covered at every inch. The only thing keeping him sane was the beeping on the monitor screen above you; it assured him you were somewhat alive. 

“Sir, you have to leave. You can’t be in here,” the man continued. 

“Don’t fucking touch me, I’m not going anywhere,” he retorted, pushing the stranger’s arms away. 

Suddenly the room was quiet; the two men fighting Harry stopped and his eyes met with the doctors standing by you. He stared at you, his face dropping and his lips quivering. You laid breathlessly, naked, and miserable under the white sheets and the only sound in the room was the flat line above. 


The room was cold. He was let in to say goodbye but to be honest, he didn’t really know what to say to you. 

“I’m sorry Mr. Styles, we did everything we could,” the doctor sighed. “But it just wasn’t enough.”

A tear slipped down his cheek and he sniffled looking down at you. The doctors had managed to clean most of the blood that stained your face but the scars were still there. The cut along your cheek terrified him. 

He cautiously reached for your delicate, cold hand and brought it to his lips. He sobbed against your fingers, leaving soft kisses continuously, hoping you would wake and everything would be okay. But you didn’t. 

“I’m so sorry,” he cried. “I’m so, so sorry, my love.”

And from this day forward, onto forever, he will always remember that you were the best thing that had ever happened to him and that this will be marked the biggest mistake of his life. 


There you have it lovelies! This one shot nearly killed me as I wrote it, the images flooding around my head made me sad but I hope you enjoyed this prompt. 


I’M TAKING REQUESTS AGAIN! I have two more days of classes and then I will be free and all yours! Send in your prompts and ideas and I will definitely try to get to all of them. I’ve missed reading your ideas so I thought I’d start requests again. 

Anyways, let me know what you thought on this piece and feel free to chat about anything else you’d like in my ask box! 

Love you. 

Nicole .Xoxo