virtualbatgirl

Assisting Oracle

@virtualbatgirl

It wasn’t too often that he would come by the Grayson home these days. Ever since Dick’s injury, Terry had felt uncomfortable coming to the humble abode. He still blamed himself for Dick sustaining his injuries via Rewire when he did. Then there was the situation with Mary and how that partnership had fallen to pieces. In the end, it seemed Terry seemed to get along with the commission herself: Barbara Gordon.

And right now, he needed her help more than ever.

Bruce was out on the other side of the world and couldn’t be reached. He had come across an issue and the only person he knew could help him was the police commissioner. Coming across the door, he took a long sigh and rang the doorbell.

Building A Mystery || virtualbatgirl || Closed

virtualbatgirl 

The great irony is that for someone who often served as a communication officer, among other roles, for the League, she had a tendency to put her foot in her mouth. “You misunderstand me,” she replied, somewhat gentler than she’d been a few minutes before. “What I mean is that it almost seems to suggest that there’s such a thing as atonement. That you can undo the past. For a while I thought I could do that. Unmake what happened, somehow make it right when people died on my watch.”

Those two ships full of people who’d perished on the seas still weighed down her heart. “The things you did make a piss poor motivator because you always roll it around in your head. What did I do wrong? How should I have done it differently? Could I have? You can drive yourself nuts doing that.” Remembering who she was talking to, she added, “So to speak. It’s why Batman does what he does and why he doesn’t engage with people. He tries to save people, sure, but in a way it’s to atone for some perceived failure, something that couldn’t possibly be undone.”

“Considering the people you can help. Taking all the things you can do to make the lives of people better? That’s a far better motivator. Then it’s about what you can do, rather than what you failed to do.” It was shocking for her to be sharing one of her deepest secrets. “I don’t pretend to forget about the people I failed. Far from it. But you can get through a lot longer nights thinking one way as opposed to another.”

“Sometimes the simple answer is that there is no answer. There’s no why or what if. There’s what is, and what might be. The smart people find a way to make peace with it. The successful ones learn to embrace it and focus their attention there.”

No, maybe she hadn’t gone on killing sprees and beat people to death with their own limbs, but she understood better than he thought. “Maybe I wasn’t the one to pull the trigger, but people have died in large numbers because I didn’t do my job right. And there are people who’d tell you right now that I’m no more than a monster myself. No, maybe not on the same level, but it’s somehow worse because I’m supposed to be one of the good guys.”

“And, yes, Jack, sometimes shitty things happen to good people. Batman got his back broken. Nightwing buried his entire family. I was six years old and had seen my mother killed by a drunk driver and her husband fall victim to the bottle.”

It was the first time she’d called him anything other than Joker or “the clown” in her head and she’d said it out loud. No, she hadn’t forgiven him exactly, but she could see he was trying. That there was something more to him than the grinning jackass who kept looking for a date with the Batman.

But she stopped short of telling him that some people couldn’t take even that much. Psychologically the right mix of trouble on a person’s psyche could drive them over the line. In a way, she wanted him to punish himself, but she knew from experience that such thoughts were utterly pointless. All they did was cause pain and inertia to set in as depression took hold. “You have to find a way to focus on what you can do. Not the things you can’t, and certainly not the things you didn’t. If that means burying the clown to live a life of substance and significance as Jack, that doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge it.”

“Trust me,” she said soberly. “The screams of the ones you failed are hard to match against the silence of those you save. The road you’ve decided to take is not an easy one. That you’ve kept up this long says something for the type of person you are. And whatever happened, I’m sure Jeannie would be proud of you for trying so hard to come back, when a hundred others would’ve just said, ‘Fuck it’ and remained mired in insanity.”

The more she explained, the more chagrined Jack began to feel. He’d jumped to conclusions, he realized, though perhaps in this case he could give himself a pass. The site of Jeanie’s final resting place had unnerved him and deepened the sense of hopelessness he felt. No, the Joker wouldn’t come back from it, but a certain desperation had taken hold. He fought it down though, trying his best to focus on her words and not his erratic emotions.

Her admission of her own guilty conscience prompted a sympathetic nod. He was more than a little amazed that she would share something clearly so personal with him but it helped him to see the truth in her words and also to understand their meaning a little better.

“You are one of the good guys,” he interjected softly with a small, knowing smile. He knew she wasn’t looking for confirmation and that his probably meant less than most, but he wanted to say it anyway. He’d only just begun to understand how personally Batman and his friends took their failures. Hell, hadn’t Bruce’s biggest motivator to save his sorry hide been built on a notion of failure to stop the beginning? But it was ridiculous to him, even though he understood it. 

These people did impossible things every day when it would be so much easier not to. To just let it go like everybody else did. He shook his head. “I mean, I get it. I do. But, seriously… The shit you guys do every day? Things are bound to go wrong sometimes but the number of times they go right?? I figure that’s probably the reason this city’s still here some days. Nobody’s perfect, but it’s not like…well, like me…”

Another small shake of his head followed. “But I think I see what you’re saying. Sorry I took it the way I did.” Jack held up pale hands to examine the tremors still coursing through them, a shaky smile briefly tugging at his lips. “I’m not really…okay…right now…” He sighed. “It’s not atonement though… I know I can’t ever do that. It’s just…”

Dropping his hands into his lap once more, Jack fetched a long sigh. “Nobody ever killed me. All those times they could have…probably should have. All the people that died because I went on living. And sometimes I think it would have been so much easier to never wake up from this. A bullet in the Joker’s brain…for me it would have been like dying in my sleep. Blissfully ignorant of everything. Sometimes I want it so badly it hurts.”

The admission cost him and it showed in the way white fingers clenched over his knees for a moment. He faced out the window away from her as the city passed by them outside. “Still, I respect the reasons why they didn’t. Why he didn’t, especially. And I wouldn’t really want that on somebody’s else’s conscience. Not really. But it just feels like I have to do something to make it worth it. To prove that I wasn’t just a wasted effort all those years. And that scares the Hell out of me because I don’t actually know what to do.”

The last thing she said stuck with him and again he shook his head.”I couldn’t though, could I? Not once I knew… Everything up to that point, I didn’t know what I’d been doing. Didn’t know who I even was. But after… No. No, I don’t want to hurt people. No matter how much it hurts me. I’ll live the rest of my life with this if I have to…but I’ll never let Him come back.”

A Place Where I Belong || Closed RP with Virtualbatgirl

@virtualbatgirl

Lawson rocked back and forth on his heels. Glancing at the door with a frown on his face. How did you even say hi to the mother you’d ditched for a year to live with your dad. Worrying his lower lip he knocked on the door. 

Hey there mom, long time no see.

No that was stupid. Sighing he adjusted his grip on the bag that was slung over his shoulder. He’d just have to hope she’d missed him like he had her.” 

Starter Call

@virtualbatgirl

“I think she’s mad at me.” Tim’s voice was a little muffled from him laying on the floor, simply from the sheer exhaustion of arguing with Steph right after they’d wrapped up a week-long case together.

“Cass just told me to say I’m sorry. But that’s what she always tells me to do. And she always sides with Steph anyway.”

virtualbatgirl-archive  asked:

”This is going differently than I imagined.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” When Dick Grayson was brought on as a congressional aid to Congresswoman Barbara Gordon he thought it would be good for his extra curriculars when it came to college life. What he didn’t know is that the Congresswoman would take a liking to him.

Now he was in her office, but not for official business. They were in the middle of some heavy flirting. “You know, I’d love to spend some time with you outside the office, if you want?”

anonymous asked:

which people can you identify in dick/bab's wedding?? from convergence nightwing/oracle #2?


I honestly can’t say for sure because the art makes it hard, but from right to left:

EDIT: virtualbatgirl and graysonkate have helped me out with what I wasn’t sure about, so this is almost definitely the correct order

  • Lois and Clark
  • Dinah
  • Helena
  • Zinda
  • Bruce
  • Alfred
  • Wally
  • Cassandra and Stephanie

I’m really hoping everyone that’s missing is just off-panel.

“I’ll take that as a compliment. But I’m not sure what I could offer in that regard, other than some sensor readings which suggest either tears in space/time or the use of technology to open temporary portals.”

“It is one” he smiled “And I figured you could at least hump me compile the data…. ”… Ted thoguht or a second “really not sure if i’m doing this on purpose or not. ”